Teen Pregnancy
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| Cigarettes And Suicide Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 37 Gender: Female Posts: 1725 | Age is just a number. Maturity is generally associated with advanced age, but not necessarily the deciding factor. I know 16-year-olds who act more like 25-year-olds, and 25-year-olds who act more like 12-year-olds. Obviously teen pregnancy isn't the most desirable thing, due to a lot of different circumstances (one being the *general* immaturity of most teenagers), but a teen mother isn't automatically doomed to failure, just like a 30-year-old mother isn't automatically destined for success. |
| Go fuck yourself Devil's Got Your Number  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 37823 | Cigarettes And Suicide:I whole heartedly agree. It's tough to be a parent at all, but when your young it's even tougher. It's probably alot harder to support yourself, your education will probably be stiffled etc. I work in a nursery and I see abunch of kids from different backgrounds etc. There is no difference between some of the kids whose parents had them in their teens and those who had them later on in life. Now working in a nursery I can tell you how hard it is to be in charge of kids, they get into everything and it's a 24/7 supervision. And I only do it or a couple of hours at a time then get my pay and go home. |
| romanticXaddiction Fabulous Killjoy  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 145 | Well, no teenager should be having a baby. You shouldn't be having sex to begin with. You're not ready for a baby, don't have sex. Simple as that. I don't see why everyone thinks sex adds to the relationship, when in reality, its what tears it apart. So, you're going to be a teenage mother, with no education done, no job to support your new family, the responsibility of a five year old, and most the time, the guy that got you PG leaves you. So? Was that sex really worth it? no. And besides, do you not think about how the babys life is going to be? Maybe no father, a mother you can barely support herself or the baby, plus other personal issues that go on. I'm not saying its easy for adults either, my uncle has problems with drinking and drugs, and he has a 9 year old. But just because you can have sex, have a baby, doesn't mean you should. Gah, and girls that get the baby aborted because they were stupid and had sex piss me off the most. Its your fault, not the life that is in you. Don't murder your child because of a stupid mistake you made, give the baby for adoption if you don't want it. And next time, control yourself, and make him keep it in his pants. -.- |
| Lights Salute You in Your Grave  Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 2205 | ^^ Actually, I'm in a relationship where sex adds a whole separate emotional connection. It's not always detrimental to a relationship, I think it can add a whole lot. I do agree that sex can sometimes be a selfish thing, but that's why responsibility plays a huge part. You get contraceptives, you learn how to use them properly, and in the case that they fail, you have a plan. I think the abortion topic is a completely separate issue. There's deep political, moral, and religious ties to that one, and I think it would be better if we saved that discussion for another time. You definitely need to think beyond the "stupid" decision idea and look further into the potential situation the child could be put into. Abuse (sexual/physical/verbal) or bad living conditions, and not everyone has the opportunities or abilities to just up and move out of the situations they're put into. My questions for you, and these stem from true curiosity: Have you ever had sex? Have you been connected to someone who became pregnant as a teen? |
| Coraline. Thinking Happy Thoughts  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 493 | romanticXaddiction: That's not always the situation though,it sounds like youve been in a situation where you've seen sex tear a relationship apart,but for most people its an emotional experience thats binds them. And to be honest,people all over the world are now loosing thier virginitys from ages 12+. People ignore the law,weather its out of pure desire or stupidity,but these people are also kids/teenagers who think that the first person they meet their going to be with forever. If a teenager decides to have a baby,and take on the responsibility of sex then that is down to them. I know alot of people who are teenage mum's and theyre doing really well for themselves,my best friend still works,has her own home with the babys dad and is doing fine by herself thankyou. And i had doubts about weather it was a good idea,but when i saw her daughter they all vanished. |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene  Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | my_rejected_romance: lol. And their parents, and their grandparents, and anyone else whose help they need because they are likely financially unfit, as well as mentally and emotionally unfit in many cases. And I hardly EVER hear of teens who DECIDE to have babies. it's an accident a large percentage of the time. And if your doubts vanished just because you saw how cute your friend's daughter was, or because you felt positive emotions around her, then you may want to rethink (ooorrr maybe not, idk). You can have all the love in the world for a child and still doubt whether its parents made the right decision in creating it. |
| Coraline. Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 493 | But at the end of the day if a teenager decides to have a child,they have to understand that this is thier baby,not anyone elses except thiers and the fathers Although alot of people do pass this children down thier familys for better care,its not always the case. And i honestly do think my friend made the right choice,ive never seen her this happy,she dotes on her daughter and makes sure she has everything she needs.The only thing thats lacking is social life,no one see's her that much anymore,but thats understandable. |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | But you keep saying "decide." For many teens, abortion isn't an option, either because they have nowhere to turn for one or because they feel they can't do that. So it's just an accident pregnancy, not a decision. it's carelessness. And good on her, because a social life isn't anywhere close to important when you have a young child, or it shouldn't be in my opinion. |
| Coraline. Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 493 | But there's always adoption also,so really it is a decision. For anyone at any age we all have the same choices,to have the baby,to have the baby adopted or to have an abortion. Quite alot of people from around where i live are set on having children,and ive heard this since they were 14,its quite unreal tbh. My friend didnt plan her baby,but my mum didnt plan me or my sister,it doesnt mean its wrong or right. Thier happy they made with thier choice,and have grown up alot since then. |
| Jesse Lacey; Awake and Unafraid  Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 12077 | my_rejected_romance:In a perfect world, adoption is the best decision for everyone. But it's not. If there were enough people to adopt all the children in the world, we wouldn't have the awful foster system we do now. Not to say every foster parent is a bad one, but even one is too many. |
| Lights Salute You in Your Grave Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 2205 | Age doesn't determine financial stability (especially in this economy), maturity, or readiness to raise a child. A first-time parent in their mid-20's or early 30's will depend on their parents just as much as a teen mother would, in my opinion. |
| Lights Salute You in Your Grave Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 2205 | Bjork: Many people don't want to adopt children when they aren't infants anymore, because they'll have even deeper emotional and behavioral problems than a baby who is straight out of the womb. Adoption is a lengthy, complicated process, and even if you "fall in love" with a child, you won't always be the family chosen to adopt them. I think I could safely say that adoptions from birth are a pretty rare thing. Many children in the foster system are the kids who have been taken out of abusive and/or disgusting un-livable conditions. But even as infants, fear/anxiety can still be instilled, and that can last the rest of their lives. |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | Lights: Noooo way. I am not sure where you got that idea. Most teens still live at home and haven't finished high school. Many 20 year olds and MOST 30-somethings live on their own and know what independence means, not to mention that they've typically held jobs and have worked longer than teens, who typically cannot even legally work 40 hours in a week "during the school year," whether they are in school or not. There are always layoffs, getting fored, quitting, and bad decisions about employment in general, for those in their early 20's for sure. But they are still MUCH more capable of taking care of a child independently than someone who is still legally considered a child. |
| Coraline. Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 493 | Ive been in a foster home,i know what its like,its not the best option but it's alot better than being with a parent who cant look after thier child. |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | my_rejected_romance: There is a great deal of foster homes in which the parents do not know how or are not interested in looking after their children, but do like the paycheck. |
| Coraline. Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 493 | ^^ mm im aware of that. There was a girl who came to the one i was in,and the foster parent before served her the same meal everyday,didnt let her see her family or friends,shouted at her,etc. but for alot of children it'd proberly be an upgrade. Atleast they'd be getting a meal and a warm bed if you know what i mean. In most cases the foster parent could proberly provide more than the teenage mother and father if adoption was the option. (haha it rymes!) Luckily the foster parent's i had looked after me well whilst i was there,and i know this isnt always the case but it was an improvement. |
| Lights Salute You in Your Grave Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 2205 | merlin.: I think this statement is far too generalized. I know plenty of irresponsible parents who leave their kids with their own parents constantly. My own boss for example basically raises her granddaughter. Also, not every teen parent is 14 years old. Some ARE capable of getting their own apartments, having an adequate income, etc. Not every teen mom is left alone by the father. |
| Mindfuck Always Born a Crime  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614 | merlin.:While I agree that a 20 something or 30 something has a higher chance of financial stability and independence to raise a child, I also agree somewhat with Lights about dependence on parents. A lot of people these days, including 30 somethings who have jobs and money, rely on (I would think mainly retired) parents to care or babysit for them while at work because daycare can be very expensive and because it's so sought after, it can be scarce as well (at least until the kid reaches school age). So I think there is a reliance on parents regardless of age, each age group needs help from others usually when raising a child, whether it be babysitting a certain number of days during the week, or picking the kids up after school or sport training, or whatever - and parents are usually the first people they go to (if they are on good terms with them - or if they have parents). |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | Relying on parents to help look after their grandkids while you work a 40+ hour week is not at all the same as making your parents more or less raise your child because you haven't the slightest damn clue how to even begin. The statement that a 20-30-something WILL depend on their parents AS MUCH AS a teen parent is even MORE generalized and can only come from the mouth of inexperience with the world. |
| Mindfuck Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614 | merlin.:But how do you know, statistically, how much a teenage parent relies on their parents? I can imagine there are a lot who do it with little parental support, so the claim that teenage parents somehow practically make their parents raise their child for them doesn't add up to me. |
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