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Suicide and Self harm

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whipstickagostop;
Like Phantoms, Forever
whipstickagostop;
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April 13th, 2009 at 12:02am
GerardGay:
You all have really good points, but you don't understand.

Ever since I've started listening to MCR, I've realised how disgusting this world is, and it just feels like there's no other way to release my anger, than on myself.

MCR helped me realise this. They saved my life.

Every scar on my arm represents my love for them.

You guys aren't true fans if you don't understand!!!

xxx


If understanding is what ranks you as a real fan or not, then you are the one that's not. My Chemical Romance always have and always will be against self harm and suicide. If you do not believe me, seriously look up interviews of them up on YouTube and you would know this. They hate self harm, and encourage you that if you feel these things to get help ASAP. Quotes like, "If you or someone you know are severly depressed, you need to f***ing talk to somebody. I don't care who it is- your best friend, your mom, somebody at school, I don't give a f***. Because pissing your life away on suicide is f***ing bullsh**!" and "Nothing worth hurting yourself over, nothing is worth taking your life over. Do you understand?" are both quotes by Gerard, and both are himself speaking against suicide.

If MCR saved your life, you wouldn't be cutting yourself or dreaming of suicide. Saving a life is saving them from death, including suicide.

Yes, I am a fan of MCR and I do cut myself, but My Chem keeps me happy, and whenever I'm down they make me smile again. I don't think they actually saved my life, but over one summer I was planning on suicide and they were just a distraction until school started I remembered what I was planning and knew it was because of MCR that I didn't do it. So without them, I would be more depressed, but I still cut myself and still consider suicide, so no they did not save my life- just made me live longer. And there's an interview with Gerard where he's talking about his experiance with depression, and he says it's normal and it's what everyone goes through, and he said when he was 15, he would be glad to know that everything will turn out OK, and that's a huge inspiration for me to stay alive because I'm afraid I will live alone, and knowing that he went through something similar made me feel better.

If MCR makes you think that the world is terrible, they did think so at one point according to an interview, that "they used to think it was all sh**, and now they realize it's not all sh**" and so they don't want you to hurt yourself because it is not all terrible in any way! And so you have to live to understand it can only get better and it will all turn out to be OK.

So honestly- you're the one who doesn't understand. Not us.
-----
And I think if someone was stubborn about getting help when they were severe, then you could probably get them into help- but help them all you can. Like try to talk them into it, without totally FORCING them to and taking over them, and so they probably won't hate you afterwards. But yeah, if I was in the other person's shoes trying to help someone out- I'd rather them hate my guts rather than them dead.
Daft
Fabulous Killjoy
Daft
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 157
April 14th, 2009 at 03:06am
Theres a thing with this concept of suicide: We wouldn't consider it if it hadnt been introduced to us. I've been there in that endless pit of sorrow many times before swallowed by this hatred of everything around me and i cant get out. The solution? Intervention or distraction. The only reason I'm here today is because of it. So i think parents should be smart enough to pick up on the warning signs and keep an eye on their kids when they pick up... Just my two cents
Mindfuck
Always Born a Crime
Mindfuck
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April 14th, 2009 at 06:38am
Daft:
So i think parents should be smart enough to pick up on the warning signs and keep an eye on their kids when they pick up... Just my two cents
I can never understand people who say "other people should pick up on it..."
No. It is true that differences in behaviour can be noted in people who are suicidal and / or depressed, but parents are not mind readers. Often teenagers are angsty. How can the average parent really tell teenage angst (which is somewhat normal) to actual depression and suicidal thoughts? No one but you knows the thoughts you have.

I think it's hard to distinguish between a teenager being moody and angsty - which is common - and depression.

The only real way someone can help you is if YOU actually take the matter into your OWN hands and tell. Share. Don't clam up and expect others to pick up on it, because that's not fair, and it's not really effective.
Lovesick Melody.
Bulletproof Heart
Lovesick Melody.
Age: 80
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April 14th, 2009 at 06:57am

I agree with Mindfuck.

You can't blame anybody else, except for the person who committed suicide. Once you start shifting the blame, you are simply bringing a burden on other people. When certain things happen, and somebody kills themself, it is not a natural reaction.
In nature, the killing of ones self is never done just to escape a situation. I've heard spiders who, while mating, the female will eat the male. This is a sort of suicide, yet it is a sacrifice made to help sustain the female and therefore bring the new generation into the world.
However, killing yourself is never natural. Killing ones self for no utter reason, other than to escape life is not natural. If somebody kills themself, it is a clear indicator that the person had issues mentally, that wasn't able to be resolved. Therefore, you cannot ever blame somebody such as parents or guardians for their childs suicide. It's different if they abused the shild, but blaming them for not picking up behaviour is just completely wrong.

And another point that Mindfuck made is true.
I recentely did a whole project on teenage depression and teenage suicide, and every article said the same thing. Teenage depression is extremely hard to pick up, for the sole reason that teenagers are very moody. It's a confusing time, and depression often flies under the radar because it's hard to pick out from normal teenage behaviour.
Go fuck yourself
Devil's Got Your Number
Go fuck yourself
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April 18th, 2009 at 10:23am
Mindfuck:
I can never understand people who say "other people should pick up on it..."
No. It is true that differences in behaviour can be noted in people who are suicidal and / or depressed, but parents are not mind readers. Often teenagers are angsty. How can the average parent really tell teenage angst (which is somewhat normal) to actual depression and suicidal thoughts? No one but you knows the thoughts you have.

I think it's hard to distinguish between a teenager being moody and angsty - which is common - and depression.

The only real way someone can help you is if YOU actually take the matter into your OWN hands and tell. Share. Don't clam up and expect others to pick up on it, because that's not fair, and it's not really effective.

Completely right. My mom thought I was just moody and angsty and didn't feel I needed help for that, till the school calls her and told her I was depressed. I thought she knew about me cutting cause she found bloody razorblades and I thought she'd notice all the crap I was doing, she didn't. At first I was almost bewildred she was completely clueless when given people who were barely around me noticed alot of signs. But you can't expect people to pick up all the litle details like they do on tv shows or in books.
Daft
Fabulous Killjoy
Daft
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 157
April 18th, 2009 at 04:39pm
Hmm, your points ARE valid. However my parents (sorry for making this a personal example) know I'm depressed and know exactly what the warning signs are... Not the same for all people i know. But there's a few things persistent in all people i guess. Yeah it's not fair to assume your parents or someone close will notice, e.g when my extremely close friend killed herself a few years ago (yes it was quite young for suicide but... well i really dont know) i had no idea... It completely shocked me when i found out, cos she was normally such a calm and happy person around me... But it was just... Fuck i really dont know and i feel guilty for not knowing... So i suppose it's very unfair to presume people will notice.

~~Daft
gerardgrl23
Killjoy
gerardgrl23
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 63
April 23rd, 2009 at 01:52pm
ya i was talking with counselers and they were saying vutting is much more common now than when they were kids
whipstickagostop;
Like Phantoms, Forever
whipstickagostop;
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April 24th, 2009 at 01:05am
I don't think people can pick up on the signs for some people. Some people it may be more obious they're depressed, and some people may hide it well because they pretend to be happy around their parents, friends, ect. (like me). So it's unfair to say that parents should just pick up on it, because it's not always easy to pick out, especially for teenagers who are generally really moody and stuff.
BOINGage-MCRmy
Banned
BOINGage-MCRmy
Age: 25
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Posts: 42
April 24th, 2009 at 06:18am
to be honest...
i think that some people do it coz they want to attempt at looking cool.
some people do it 'cause they really have got problems that they need help and no-ones going to.
and others its possibly habbit that when they get depressed they cut themsleves.

it has become more common though because their is too much pressure on too many people.
so they cut themselves 'cause they belive that it helps.
BRETTage-MCR4eva
Banned
BRETTage-MCR4eva
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 20
April 24th, 2009 at 06:25am
BOINGage-MCRmy:
to be honest...
i think that some people do it coz they want to attempt at looking cool.
some people do it 'cause they really have got problems that they need help and no-ones going to.
and others its possibly habbit that when they get depressed they cut themsleves.

it has become more common though because their is too much pressure on too many people.
so they cut themselves 'cause they belive that it helps.
As BOINGage Said yes people do think it helps but it doesn't it kinda just makes things worse... and yes people do it to attempt to look cool... but yes people do have problems that become so bad that they do cut themselves...i did it once cause i kept getting told i deserve to die...obviuolsy i dont but at that point i thought if i shouldn't live then i shouldn't live...but now the person that told me to die is actually my gf...
fawkes
Bleeding on the Floor
fawkes
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April 26th, 2009 at 01:30pm
I think people who self harm have problems, whether they do it to be cool or because they feel like they need to. I don't think it's right in either case, but anyone who hurts themself on purpose has to do it for some reason. And if you're hurting yourself to be cool, that's a problem. It's just a much different problem than someone who is hurting themself because they're depressed or something.

What can be done to prevent this? I think that if the person is doing it to be cool, then they'd brag about it, so people would know that they self harm and hopefully those people would have enough common sense to get help for that person. Unless, of course, they believe self harming is cool too. Then hopefully family or friends that care find out.

I think if the person is hiding the fact that they self harm, it's more difficult to deal with unless they choose to tell someone or someone finds out that they do it. I don't think their family/friends should not be held responsible to just guess if they are hurting themselves or not. That's not fair.

The media might cause some people to self harm, whether they think it's cool or they never thought of doing it before. I didn't even know self harm existed when I started, which might be a problem in itself. Maybe if someone had made it clear that it was wrong to hurt yourself before I started doing it, I wouldn't have started. Sort of like they make sure people know that doing drugs is bad. Sure, it wouldn't prevent everyone from doing it, but it might prevent some people from resorting to it if they know it's wrong. It might also cause other people to try it. There's probably some kids who do drugs just because their parents told them not to and they're being rebellious.

And I just confused myself a lot...
bellamurte
Killjoy
bellamurte
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 45
April 30th, 2009 at 05:00am
I know this may be sliding away a little from exactly what you guys are all talking about -thees 91 pages here I cant keep up-
I did a project in college on Self Harm and Suicide and how music can influence you to make something of you life. -it ended with a china doll in a box ¬_¬ -

Anyway, it was mainly based on bullying but there are a few facts that I found that might interest you (or if your anything like me, scare the crap outta you)

- Every half an hour a child attempts suicide
- Every hour and forty-five minutes another teenager commits suicide
- Each year 16 children in the UK will die from bullying / The true number could be much higher
- The UK has one of the highest rates of Self-Harm in Europe
- Suicide is the most common form of Death in men under the age of 35
- Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15-to-24-year-olds.
- Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for persons between the ages of 10 and 14
- Suicide is the sixth leading cause of death for 5-to-14-year-olds
- Experts estimate that each year nearly 5,000 teenagers commit suicide.
- Suicide appears to trigger several other suicides within a group such as a school or community
- 90 percent of suicidal teen-agers believed their families did not understand them.
- The youngest person to ever commit suicide because of bullying was eight years old. She hung herself with her skipping rope.
- The actual number of suicides is two to three times higher than statistics indicate.

They're quite scary, when you think about them.
It's really hard to find information on self harm, because it goes undetected and people are very secrative about it, hence why its more about suicide.

The numbers sare me, for every one of those digets is someone's child, someone's brother or sister, boyfriend or girlfriend. Another chance lost, another coffin brought, another headstone, another loved one laid to rest.
John St. John
Shotgun Sinner
John St. John
Age: 28
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April 30th, 2009 at 08:00am
^^ hmm, were did you get these from?

I especially find the one about suicide being the most common death in men aged under 35 hard to believe. But I may be wrong.
John St. John
Shotgun Sinner
John St. John
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 7145
April 30th, 2009 at 08:06am
Ignore
bellamurte
Killjoy
bellamurte
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 45
April 30th, 2009 at 02:58pm
They were around the internet and from a few different sites, I'm not entirely sure where they're all from I copied them back out of my sketch book. They might just be UK statistics, but if you like I can try and call them back up Smile
SianySTFU_8D
Killjoy
SianySTFU_8D
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 21
May 1st, 2009 at 12:35pm
Some people do it for attention. Someone i knew did it because her and her boyfriend split up, and she wanted to make him feel bad by showing people the marks and telling people it was because of him. She showed me and My Friends (at the time, we were best friends. It's rather different now.) and we vowed not to tell anybody. Then We find out she's showed people who she harldy knows, and even people she KNEW she couldn't trust not to tell. I think self harming used to be for reasons,but now some people (i'm not saying everyone. <- would liek to mak ethat clear as many people seem to jump down my throat if they think i mite be trying to offend them.) do it to try and make themselves look 'hard' or cool, or even for attention, and maybe to try and impress people. Some do it so people will think they're 'emo'. its those kind of people who i have to blame for bubble-headed cows coming over to me and asking if i cut myself, just because i have black hair.
Maybe i've gone a little bit off topic here. Sorry. I don't know when to shut up sometimes. Hence the name. Smile
ClaireBear016
Killjoy
ClaireBear016
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 67
May 17th, 2009 at 04:10pm
i think self harm now as become more of a trend as for the whole emo thing... its part of the label (but im not saying all emo do it) and so you have people who do it just to fit in or cause its "cool" or for attention.

I think something needs to be done... it seems more people want to commit suicide now than ever before... at the moment nothing is being done to prevent this or well hardly anything.
girl interrupted.
Salute You in Your Grave
girl interrupted.
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May 17th, 2009 at 08:42pm
^


If people think they have to hurt themselves to fit in or to be noticed, I think they probably need just a little bit of
love and understanding. I've never met someone that desperate to belong. I think there's a deeper issue there than
the cutting itself. In that sort of situation, stop Person X from cutting and I think you're using a sticky plaster on a
wound that isn't going to heal that easily.
bellamurte
Killjoy
bellamurte
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 45
June 5th, 2009 at 04:52am
ClaireBear016:
i think self harm now as become more of a trend as for the whole emo thing... its part of the label (but I'm not saying all emo do it) and so you have people who do it just to fit in or cause its "cool" or for attention.
I think something needs to be done... it seems more people want to commit suicide now than ever before... at the moment nothing is being done to prevent this or well hardly anything.


People have always committed suicide, it's not a recent thing. It's just been in the media alot lately.
I think self harm is the same story. As far as it being a trend I'd like to think that people aren't that naive. It's not that easy to cause physical harm to yourself if your mentally stable -and I'm not saying that all people who self harm are mentally un-stable but there is obviously something wrong.
When things are in the media -such as this "emo" crap - teenagers see the way parents and other adults react to it. And it causes a stirr, no one can say that they have gone their whole life without doing something just because they know it's gonna piss someone off. And teenagers are renowned for that.
-I've just noticed that the lad next to me in the college library has MCR on his jacket it's not an actual My Chem one it reads MCR LDN NYZ TYO but its funny Very Happy-
But still even just to piss someone off, I can't imagine that anyone would be stupid enough just to do something because "it's cool" I know people who dress like "emo's" who are lovely, and have never caused any harm to themselves ever and I also know people who dress the complete and utter opposite and have caused harm to themselves.

The problem isn't so much that these things are going on, they were happening before. It's just that when people (ie: the media) comment on it they focus on all the negativity's. I've noticed that these people are surrounded by alot of negativity and in fact, when you give them abit of attention and positivity after a little time and re-assurance they run with it.
chainsaws cascading.
In The Murder Scene
chainsaws cascading.
Age: 26
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Posts: 22906
June 10th, 2009 at 07:57pm
i actually recall an interview where gerard said that he hoped people didn't think they had to self harm to come to one of their shows
they want to save your life if you need it, but you can still be a fan if your life doesn't need saving
so that comment on the last page or whatever seems completely irrelevant to everything mcr tells us, if you catch my drift~
i cut but i have my reasons
i don't do it for mcr