Suicide and Self harm
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| attic dramatic Jazz Hands  Age: 29 Gender: Male Posts: 300 | my_rejected_romance:Well u r right about emotional pain and physical pain,i'll choose physical pain more |
| Lovesick Melody. Bulletproof Heart  Age: 83 Gender: Female Posts: 25760 | my_rejected_romance: I have to disagree. Instead of dealing with the problems someone is facing, they decide to make it all go away in one swift action. Why don't they seek help? To me suicide is an easy way out of problems. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. (Just couldn't resist using that overused line.) |
| brandleys; Death Defying  Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 186345 | my_rejected_romance: I agree completely with you. Everyone tries to understand why I cut myself, and they think they know exactly why, but they don't. They never will. My parents think I quit, but ever since I got out of the hospital I've been doing it more and more. They just... don't get it. And the therapists won't get it because they've never been there. It really does make a difference if you can truely empathize with that person. I don't think suicide is a cowardly way out because it does take a lot of courage to take a life. And it could really be the only way out in certain circumstances. |
| Lovesick Melody. Bulletproof Heart Age: 83 Gender: Female Posts: 25760 | Horror Show.: It takes even more courage to live and deal with problems. |
| brandleys; Death Defying Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 186345 | ^ Well, yeah, if you put it that way. But suicide could also take more courage than that because death is so very mysterious- you don't know whether afterlife is real or not, you don't know if you'll go to Heaven or Hell, you don't really know what'll happen. And that if you fail at suicide, you face the consequences of other things like hospitals, family, friends, ect. |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene  Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | Horror Show.:What circumstances? In what circumstance is the ONLY way out to kill yourself? That is just pessimism and weakness. Fact. Also, you might do a little better with your therapists if you quit acting like it's "us" and "them." Try not assuming they've "never been through it." Many therapists get into their field because they've been through terrible things and want to help others. Don't be bitchy to them if they don't get it - explain it to them. And don't assume I've never been through it - I did, for six years, and with the help of a therapist whose help I was mature enough to accept, I moved on. And she had never been through it either. :/ |
| brandleys; Death Defying Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 186345 | I can't list all the circumstances, because by circumstances I meant situations. Sorry. I misworded the sentence. And I just don't trust my therapists. At the hospital, I had a bad experiance with them, and the therapist that sent me there overreacts over everything I say because I attempted suicide in August, and when I saw her two months later she assumed I was going to try again right when I walked out the door just because I wasn't getting help, and because I wasn't sure if I'd ever do it, because I can't predict the future. I just don't like it when people know how I'm feeling. And no, I'm not assuming you hadn't had troubles. I just don't trust easily to people I only see once every two months. (And sorry if I came off as mean, I wasn't trying to.) |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | Your reasons for distrusting therapists are unfair and you're only hurting yourself in perpetuating the nonsense. Try seeing them more often. I went once a week. if you can't afford it, find one who costs less. Mine was income-based. $60/wk. I'm guessing she wasn't asking you to predict the future, just to say what you thought might happen, or what you wanted to do. Judging by the way you responded here I can imagine you must give your therapists a difficult time; it's no wonder they overreact. then again, they'll never be able to help you if you never want to improve. The best thing about therapy is it goes where you want it to. if she asks you if you'll ever seek help, you can say, "You know...I can't predict the future so I really don't know, but right now I don't want to. And here is why." That's what you're sort of supposed to do. if it takes you off on a month-long tangent with them about the perils of mental health assistance and therapy, um, hello, that's helping you with a big problem you have! |
| brandleys; Death Defying Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 186345 | I really don't care if I'm hurting myself by not helping myself. Ever since the day my parents found the cuts on my leg, I haven't felt normal. And hurting myself is the only thing I've got left of me. I actually do it more now than I did before I went to the hospital for it. I used to see her more often. I've become well at hiding my emotions, so she always thinks I'm better. She thinks I can go longer without it, which I can, because it's not helping me. I prefer talking to my friend about it. People who I know for certain who have been through depression and suicide, I can trust and talk to more easily. I feel more relaxed with them, and it's easier for me to speak. Painting or drawing makes me feel noticeably better, too, more than talking to a doctor ever has. And I never really give my therapists a hard time. All of them have said that I'm really sweet. I can really only think of two occasions where I was being difficult, both at the hospital. One of the times a therapist was just being extremely rude and was trying to point fingers at things I love (i.e., My Chemical Romance, Hannah Bond, ect.) that she was trying to blame for the things I've done to myself. She was just making me feel worse by other things she was saying to me. But, as I've said, I don't really want help anymore. I thought I did, but now I realize, it's just... part of me, I guess. And I can accept that. |
| attic dramatic Jazz Hands Age: 29 Gender: Male Posts: 300 | well if u think it's a part of u well thats good enough, but everyone is diffirent in a way, like me I never felt truly alive unless I was staring death in the face. I'm a risk taker |
| Coraline. Thinking Happy Thoughts  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 493 | merlin.: Im sorry but i disagree,therapy just might not be an option that works,thats how it was for me. Its different for every person,yes,theres maturity involved because you have to sit and talk deeply about every aspect of your life,but you could do that with anyone. Im mature enough to know i could talk about my issues for example,and rarely i do,but i choose not to. im not harming myself,im protecting myself. Everyone has different reasons for different actions,weather you choose not to talk and accept help or not,its down to that person and thier personal needs. And as youve said,youve been in a bad place before,you'll know fully well that when your mind's in this place its quite hard to think of anything but nonsense. The simplest task's are mountains and they become over complicated,but they can be easily broken down when you accept you have a problem. And im sorry if ive taken this out of context,but you seem really angry,almost as if your ordering her to talk to a therapist. It might just not be the correct method,theres lots of things people try in mental health to get better,thats just one option. I want to improve,i want to get better,but i have the strength to do that myself,i dont need someone training my mind to do 'positive thinking' We're all human,we can only take so much rubbish,we live our lives the way you choose,lots of factors influence this. Money,relationships,enviromental factors,matter of fact is some people just prefer to deal with things on thier own. Ive personally tried councilling,medication,hospitals and to be honest none of it helps. Im personally happy with the way i am,ive accepted that im mentally ill and i deal with it in my own way. It just makes me a stronger person,unless you've experienced it no one can understand how hard a mental illness is to overcome. And that also links back to the suicide and self harm issue tbh. Emotional pain overpowers physical pain,end of. Some people cant handle this and they take their own life,we're no one to judge. |
| Coraline. Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 493 | Lovesick Melody.: because to be honest,when your in that state of mind you can't think of getting help. All you can do is dwell on your problems,over dramatise and believe there is no way out. Most people who are mentally ill dont even know it! I thought i was completely fine for over five years,turns out i should of been in a physc ward. And some peoples problems dont have a soloution,and the pain of trying so hard to find a soloution sometimes isnt worth it. For example i read a recent article about a man and wife who lost thier son. They had two children,and the father felt obliged to take his own life to take care of the son after death. Now the mother looks after the daughter and thier bothin grieving,but the mother didnt stop the father. Theyd had previous discussions and agreed it was for the best. The father left the rest of his family behind,but there was no way of bringing his son back. Therefore no soloution to his problem,yes,he could of got councilling bla bla bla,but it doesnt bring a person back to life. |
| Jenny. Moderator  Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 19720 | I agree with my_rejected_romance. Not every situation is the same and everyone deals with their problems in their own unique way. Some handle better than others, some are more open than others too. Not everyone is comfortable talking to a stranger about their deepest problems, especially when that stranger is desperately trying to understand so much and being so sensitive about everything. I know I'd hate it if I were telling someone a problem of mine and they acted like I was a timed bomb about to explode.... |
| Coraline. Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 493 | ^^^ Exactly. Which is the reason why we cant judge people who commit suicide or harm themselves. Its a release. |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | my_rejected_romance: You're probably right that it doesn't work for everyone, but I never said that it did! I said it's stupid to distrust all therapists. Many of the reasons it "doesn't work" are your own fault. There are legitimate reasons for EVERYTHING, of course. I think you totally misunderstood everything I said. You're incorrect with your second statement. |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | And it's really unfortunate to judge someone who harms themselves or has committed suicide. This thread, I think anyway, is more for discussing the act than for discussing those who commit it, but there will always be the people who read a news article about a teen who has shot themselves and go, "What a damn fool, they deserved it for being so stupid." it's sick. |
| Coraline. Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 493 | merlin.: Sorry for that then,it just seemed very directionall if you dont mind me saying :/ Its not always the patients fault though,it could be you dont feel comfortable with that therapist,or their methods dont work,or generally thier just not very helpful. Ive had about four-five different therapists and each one said the exact same thing,its more of a 'how do you feel about this issue' than actual problem solving. Thats a reason i distrust them personally. To put it simply theres no magical cure for any mental illness,it takes alot of help,time and effort. Therapys one of the methods but as i said before it doesnt help everyone. And in relation to people who are self harming,all therapists really do at first is give you alternative methods to harm yourself,for example biting,try and understand why your doing it,but really they cant. Most of the therapists just read what tehy can from textbooks and think they can get on with it,thier completely wrong. |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | Well, my therapist never gave me an alternative. She let me know that she did not want me to hurt myself at all. We got to the root of what made me begin all those years ago (I should say: we discovered what made me withdraw to where that's what I turned to the first time that started that cycle) and attacked the problem with cognitive behavioral therapy (I.e., giving me the confidence in myself to build the strength I needed) and then addressed ways to symbolically attach myself to the important act of quitting. We didn't fuck around with that nonsense. We did spend some sessions where I blubbered the whole time, but we made nothing but progress. If you are able to identify those methods that you dislike, why can't you tell them you don't want to use those methods? Idk, I mean like I said, most therapists will let you change their way of thinking. I see a lot of people here saying they're strong enough for this that & the other, but I just find it so hard to believe. It is hard to accept help, but if you REALLY TRULY want to, you will find a way. |
| thank fsm. In The Murder Scene Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 20564 | I am not magically fixed either, but I can recognize my progress and attribute necessary credit to the mental health profession. There are some bad apples and I totally agree that you may not mesh with every therapists, but every therapist is different. They're people too. You can find one that works. I still struggle with my disorder but she armed me with the tools I needed to be happy. |
| Coraline. Thinking Happy Thoughts Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 493 | But you can also arm yourself with the tools you need to be happy. For example instead of taking the therapy and medication route,i looked online,looked in books,and did my own excercises to calm myself. So personally i do want to help myself,but id rather do it on my own. And this method is correct for me myself,im not a very open person,i find it hard to talk about my problems,and when i crack,people listen. I stuck with biting instead of self harming,which is proberly the only thing i took away from my therapy. She tried to calm me down as my cuts were beginning to get infected,she didnt want me to become septic. So she gave me something just as painful,but less dangerous. I know i proberly could of worked with her more and she would of proberly have had more advice i could use,but sometimes people arent in the right mind to let ANYONE in. And i was one,and still am,one of those people. Its a negitive and a postive to be honest. |
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