Discipline

Well Mine does but by the looks of others they dont i went to a freinds and she didnt care her son was going out mines always like be careful where you going when will you be back and so on.... but his perants were... kinda mean to him... mind you he is the youngest sibling...
ive also seen kids whos perants just sit there on there fat arse's saying get me a cuppa tea they dont care no-one does... and its like the kid could commit suicide and the perant would be like shut up im trying to watch -insert TV show name here- kids roam streets and like... 12PM or ealier in the morning... and fail all GCSE's and get nothing except a life of drink drugs. i feel almost sorry they wernt given a good perant to guide them. im going to stop rambaling any one else have anything they would like to add??

thanks...

My parents arn't very restrictive and I turfned out fine. I have never had sex or done drugs or any of that. Sometimes I think that the kids with the most controling parents are the most fragile ones.

im the youngest child of 6 and my parents are dead easy on me. im alowed to drink moderatly but i choose not to. most teens drink because they like adrenaline of breaking rules. also constantly yelling at kids or whatever is just gona make them angry and want to do the whatever it is there getting yelled at. but too much freedom lets the kid know they can get away with anything. i think they need to be more free than diciplined but taught about drugs/sex/alcohol/street crime etc etc (:

I think kids could use more discipline these days. However, I don't think it should come down to physical punishment unless absolutely neessary.

I think as young as a very little child, the parents should already give the right amount of discipline needed. I believe that it if that doesn't happen and the child reaches adolescence, it might be a bit too late because teenagers aren't that easy to control anymore.

I see so many people my age NOT punishing their kids or disciplining them. I have seen a lot of kids go crazy at restaurants while the parents just sit there. I have seen kids be suspended from school and mom and dad send them to their rooms where they have their gaming system, toys and tv. I have seen parents not discipline their kids at all until they start going to school. When the kids are out of control and hopped up on sugar, they are labeled as ADHD. I know it's a real thing, I am not denying that, but I think that so many kids are misdiagnosed with it. Of course if you never disciplined your kid and then all of a sudden you want them to follow the rules there's gonna be a power struggle. Of course if when you don't stick to the punishment that was laid out, the child won't take you seriously. Of course if a 5 year old lives on chicken nuggets and soda they are gonna be unhealthy. All these factors only add up to one thing... bad parenting, not ADD or ADHD like they are trying to say. No one wants to admit they wronged their child or that they are lacking. But come on! They honestly think it's better to have the kids medicated and sedated 24/7!

Anyway, I went off on a little rant there. But, I know kids. I was one not toooooo long ago and I have 3 of my own. They have tantrums, they go thru phases where they just don't listen, but that is not an excuse to not discipline at all. They are children, they don't know right from wrong. It is the parent's job to teach them. They are going to cry. They will say that they hate you. They will rebel. But that doesn't stop me from trying to raise what I hope will be the most responsible adults around.

There used to be a time where kids feared their parents. It kept them on the straight and narrow. Now a days kids are thinking of ways to get back at them. Thinking of ways to get out of punishment. It seems that the parent's word is not the final word anymore.

ill tell you the main reason why i posted this and its because when i go out im afraid im going to get stabbed shot or beaten up by some random kids... all because i think there perant isnt showing them right from wrong now they've gone wrong there not going back... and im afraid that ill end up dead before i get in to my next year of schooling. boy bring knives to school now too and the other day 8 boys were held outside with a gun to there head and got jacked up for there PSP/DS' and its sickening me

so yeah thats why i asked for you opinions

I deal with this all day, every day. I've had parents ask me to discipline their kids because their kids have more respect for me than for them. That is not right. I should not be more important to any child than their parents are.

I've had to suspend and even expel kids who were uncontrollable, and the parents always try to find a way to turn it so it is my fault, or the fault of my staff: we're picking on them, we're singling them out, we aren't listening to them, whatever. But all I have to say is if your child has done __________ x number of times, they're gone. I had to expel a kid because he was constantly hitting other kids, and punched a little girl in the face, and the parent said "it wasn't his fault." As if someone picked up the boy's arm and forced him to punch her.

I don't understand this ADD/ADHD thing. I'm with Tara (excuse me, "Pumpkin Escobar" - GIMME THE MAP, SCOTT! had to throw that in, it's too funny) in that a lot of kids aren't taught to think before they react, so they've classified that into a "disorder" that can be "cured" with sedation drugs. I've seen kids who are normal, healthy kids (okay, maybe a little loud, and like to run around - that's *so* unnatural!) go through drug after drug and become shells of their former selves because their brains are dulled. It's heartbreaking. I'd rather have a child break a rule here and there than not care about anything at all because they're on a sedative.

And I have kids that I have sit in time out who get up and start wandering around, and get mad when their time starts back over. "But I'm bored, and I want something to do!" Too bad. Shouldn't have broken the rules. They think that if they cry, plead, beg, that I'll change my mind -- because it works on their parents. It's important that a child knows that their actions carry a consequence. If they behave well, I tell their parents what a great day they had and how happy I am with their behavior. If they mess around, get into fights, or otherwise misbehave, they get a write-up and I talk to their parents about that. I refuse to change that. The kids get it, and they behave because they know that I'm serious.

I feel as if parents are trying too hard to be their kids' *friends*, rather than their parents. My grandmother was most certainly never my friend, not until I moved out of the house and got married. When I was young, and I lived in her home, I was made to respect her rules. And I did. Now, I don't feel that kids are taught that same respect.

F i a:

It's important to give a child/teenager the right amount of discipline and freedom.

Give them too much discipline, they're more likely to want to 'break the rules'.
Give them too much freedom, and there aren't going to be any rules.

It's important to find the right balance and keep your kid grounded.

^ i agree with that.
Also i think it's not just parents, but teachers at school, kids are no longer scared about playing truant from school because what happens exactly? If you get found off you get told off, yeah thats soo going to scare them from doing it again.
Also parents have got to treat their kids with respect but yet keep them disciplined, as if a kid doesn't bother going to school, their parents could face jail, but most of the kids nowadays are like "I don't care if they go to jail blah blah blah" wshich is scary how the world has become.
Parents have got to be there for their kids. Kids should be their no.1 priority, if theyre not then that mum/dad shouldn't be a parent.

I started binge drinking at 13 - cuz my mum told me not to
I started having sex at 14 (and got pregnant at 16 as a result) - cuz my mum told me not
I broke the law - cuz my mum told me not to
I started smoking at 13 - cuz my mum told me not to.


my step dad warned me of drugs. but he told me that if i ever wanted to do drugs, to go to him first for some info on it , side effects, danger of dying, what it feels like etc - Ive never done drugs.

I wanted to rebel basically. If i was told 'never do this' i did it.

as someones already said, u need to find the right balance of freedom and discipline.

if u lecture a kid , at any age as ive recently learned, they'll 9/10 go against it. if u give them the info and make them aware, they're more likely to take it in.

if u act like u dont give a care about ur kids and treat them like skivvys, they'll do anything to get ur attention. good or bad.

ive lost my trail of thought now, and not sure if im making sense! lol

F i a:

Give them too much freedom, and there aren't going to be any rules.

Perfectly said.

One thing also that I think fits in here is the sheer number of parents seeking to shield their child from any hardship in life, so then when they do attempt to discipline them, it backfires because they can't take it. For example, 2 times a week at my program we have ice cream, the kids donate money for our scholarship fund and they can have an ice cream. No one forces them to do it, they are free to choose if they want to do it or not, but a parent asked me to stop doing it because her kid's doctor doesn't want him eating so much fat and sugar. I'm thinking "needs of the many," she's thinking that her child is the only one in the world and since *he* can't have it, *none* of them should. What is going to happen when this child grows up and tries to get a job? If he's spent his entire life getting *everything* he wanted, how is he going to react when he doesn't get the job? I know it's a little harsh but I do feel that part of discipline is teaching children to understand that they can't have everything, and that sometimes they have to move aside for others. It teaches respect, responsibility, and appreciation for what they do have.

Don't get me wrong, children should be shielded from certain things. Since I deal primarily with elementary students I made the very difficult decision to *not* do any kind of observation on September 11. Many of my kids weren't even alive when it happened. At their age, all I could have done was had some kind of patriotic Go America thing, which I feel cheapens 9/11 and trivializes what truly happened. When they are older, when they learn about the icky parts of history: Hiroshima, Pearl Harbor, concentration camps, September 11 -- they will learn about it fully, when they can comprehend it.

Socity is suffering because of a none structured way of life. What happened to punishment where its due?

fia;:

Give them too much freedom, and there aren't going to be any rules.

I can see why, in most cases, that would ring true. However, for me to agree completely with it, I'd then have to completely overlook my own upbringing. My parents raised my older brother and I with an astounding amount of freedom - no curfews, or anything like that. We can drink if we're at home; my mother has never really had anything against us doing that - the same rule stands for my friends, who can come over and drink as long as they spend the night and don't drive anywhere. My parents just never really felt the need to discipline us or enforce rules like that.

My brother and I turned out just fine. No drugs, neither of us have children, we don't go out drinking all of the time, no problems with the law, we both got through high school and I'm now in college...nothing bad, there.

However, a friend of mine is a different story. Her parents are so strict with their rules, it's unbelievable. They make the most idiotic rules that they'll enforce to the death, and they punish my friend for barely doing anything wrong at all. Once, she left her purse in her truck, when the truck was locked and sitting in their driveway in a very peaceful, nice neighborhood, and her mother grounded her for a week because she didn't like that the purse was out there. Another time, her parents made the rule that for every ten minutes my friend broke her ten o'lock curfew (can you imagine having that curfew on a weekend?) she couldn't drive for three days. She showed up eleven minutes late one night because she got stuck in traffic because of a car accident, and she couldn't drive for six days. And those are the things that are more believable, really.

Because of her parents and how strict they were, my friend rebelled against them in the only ways she thought she could. Long story short: she was kicked out of college because of drugs, started sleeping around, and is now in therapy because her parents are so strict, it's causing her to become a nervous wreck, unable to cope with them anymore.

Too much freedom can be a bad thing, but too much discipline isn't very good, either.

I've always kept an open mind. I know my restrictions and don't ever to go crazy. If I'm in love before I'm 18 and before marriage for sex will I go for it. Without question. Would I use protection. Of course. And I encourage protection. But I won't condemn anyone( I'm athiest btw). I just wish the world was open but with boundaries. By that. I wish everyone was open to new ideas. And respectful. But has boundaries( I know I'm dreaming here. But who wouldn't want that?). To the person about mental disorders. They definitely exist. But I always tend to think that they jump to conclusions really quickly. I have a sister who is nearly 5 and isn't potty trained( Trust me. We've tried. She also has no concept of time and what's her belongings. Tis' why we avoid taking her to a store). She has mild autism. And signs didn't show til' she was 3. I just think that you have to wait and really be sure. But it's hard to just want to make the plunge. I think though if you have ideas on what something could be and not diagnose it. Then things like that would be easier to not categorize but to explain and understand. But it's just really hard to wait. Honestly with society. If this world could be kept in a middle ground or just have a firm understanding and somewhat respect to the people around you this world may have a chance after all

Your parents are not your friends. They're your parents, and that's how it should stay! My best friend's brother could get away with murder, and he knows it. he called me a b**** and the mom just stood there. And when he doesn't do something or does something wrong, my best friend gets blamed for it. My mom's friend's three year-old song gave my sister a concussion. A FREAKING CONCUSSION!!! And the mom just said, "say you're sorry." These children who aren't being disciplined are our world's future. They're the future of our planet. If they stay like this for the rest of their lives, then the world we worked so hard to build is going to collapse under our feet.