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Sexuality - Homosexual, Bi-Sexual, Bi-Curious, etc.

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whateva
Killjoy
whateva
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 19
October 30th, 2008 at 05:35am
Mindfuck:
Eponine:
Well, that's a theory I've never heard. Do you have any personal experience to back it up or some statistics? It just sounds so unlikely.


Theories don't necessarily need statistics to back it up. It's basically just a point of view or an idea put forward.

I somewhat agree with what LetThereBeLove stated, although I wouldn't go so far as to say everyone is bi. I see sexuality as being fluid and on a continuum for me. At one end you have straight, at the other end you have homosexual and in the middle you have in between, which is bi-sexual and bi-curious etc. I believe majority of people fit into more the bi-curious category, even if they only ever have heterosexual relationships. I'm not basing that on any statistic, I'm just going by my perception.



If you really want statistics to back that theory up check out Alfred Kinsey. He was a sexologist back in like the 50s or 60s or something and did a huge study on it. We studied it my refreshmen year of college and he basically came up with the same theory of a scale with most people being more towards one side or the other but never strictly gay or straight. I think one of his students did a study years later as well.
Person0001
Always Born a Crime
Person0001
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5099
October 30th, 2008 at 10:47am
whateva:
Honestly, it's not that hard. There are hundreds of thousands of us around the world and we're called "queerspawns" just so you know. We grow up just fine, a bit different in that we tend to have larger extended families made up of both parents families and other queerspawn families if you live in a neighborhood/community with a sizeable community. We also tend to be much more tolerant and open (not to generalize too much but that's my experience being an adult now who serves as a rolemodel for younger queerspawns).

And as for the resenting your parents thing mentioned by someone else. I don't see what there is to resent. And dealing with other people's prejudices is just something you learn to deal with and pick your battles. Most LGBTQ parents are very conscious of putting their kids in communities/schools/after school programs like COLAGE where they're around other families like their own so we tend to grow up just fine and well adjusted. I'm not saying it's all peachy(we live in a world full of prejudices) but it's not as wierd and stressful or detrimental as a lot of people seem to assume.

Oh I am glad to have seen your post - you are the first child of a same-sex family that I have had the pleasure of reading an account from, and I have always wanted to hear what you guys have to say. Our society is always whining about "the children" like the entire world should be paved in fluffy pillows and no one anything other than white bread in order for them to be spared from severe mental trauma. I hope your post shuts anyone up in here that thinks that way!


whateva:
If you really want statistics to back that theory up check out Alfred Kinsey. He was a sexologist back in like the 50s or 60s or something and did a huge study on it. We studied it my refreshmen year of college and he basically came up with the same theory of a scale with most people being more towards one side or the other but never strictly gay or straight. I think one of his students did a study years later as well.

Oh yeah, I remember reading Kinsey's studies in college - I have always agreed with his findings.
Person0001
Always Born a Crime
Person0001
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5099
October 30th, 2008 at 10:56am
Miyavi:
It's someone's own choice, whether you believe people are "born" with it or not. They choose to live that lifestyle.

Why do you insist that being gay is a choice - did your friend Tim CHOOSE to be gay? Just so you know, a "gay" lifestyle is like any other lifestyle, okay? They're not freaks, they're just people with a different sexual preference than you!


Miyavi:
I think the whole "Gay Bar" thing is stupid honestly, its great to meet other people with your sexual orientation but I mean. If you want to be accepted, why exclude the people you want to be accepted by Neutral This is like the same matter of racism honestly.

I'm sorry to have to say this to you, but for someone with a good friend Tim who happens to be gay, you sound awfully ignorant to me still. Unless you have walked a mile in Tim's shoes, you have no idea how difficult it may or may not be to find like-minded people in your town. I don't think that attending an event featuring similar interests to your own makes you a racist - why would you say that?
tabitha
Bleeding on the Floor
tabitha
Age: 45
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Posts: 1831
October 30th, 2008 at 04:20pm
Miyavi:
I think the whole "Gay Bar" thing is stupid honestly, its great to meet other people with your sexual orientation but I mean. If you want to be accepted, why exclude the people you want to be accepted by Neutral This is like the same matter of racism honestly.


But the point of a "gay bar" is so that they have a place for like-minded people to meet. Straight people go to regular bars to socialize and possibly find a love interest (or a hook-up) and I think a case such as Matthew Shepard's would show the potential dangers a gay man in a "straight" bar can face. If a bar (or any other meeting place) chooses to be "gay" or "gay-friendly" that means that it is a safe haven where they can socialize without fear of embarrassment or danger.

They aren't excluding straight people. I've gone with gay friends to gay bars many times, and each time was accepted without question -- if I was hit on, I simply said that I was with (gay male friend's name/s) and it was accepted that I was there as a friend and not looking for a date, but was still then included in conversations and activities as they knew I was accepting of their lifestyles. As long as the straight person is open-minded and doesn't judge or criticize, they are as welcome there as gays are.
blow
Bleeding on the Floor
blow
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October 30th, 2008 at 07:09pm
^I've actually heard that older gay bars that tended to have just gays as cliental have been shutting down recently and that the ones that are flourishing are more like clubs that are just open and friendly to anyone whether they be gay or straight or whatever.
Mindfuck
Always Born a Crime
Mindfuck
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October 30th, 2008 at 10:26pm
Eponine:
^I've actually heard that older gay bars that tended to have just gays as cliental have been shutting down recently and that the ones that are flourishing are more like clubs that are just open and friendly to anyone whether they be gay or straight or whatever.
Where though? That just might be where you're from. Because the well-known gay bars around my town don't seem to be shutting down any time soon...
p a n d a_xx
Salute You in Your Grave
p a n d a_xx
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October 31st, 2008 at 06:45pm
I am bisexual.
My mom is a -slight- homophobe.
She's alright with our cousins and my friends being gay/lesbian but if I were to tell her that I was bi, she would probably flip out on me.

So I'm either never going to tell her or tell her if I ever get a girlfriend.
tabitha
Bleeding on the Floor
tabitha
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1831
November 1st, 2008 at 01:12am
Mindfuck:
Where though? That just might be where you're from. Because the well-known gay bars around my town don't seem to be shutting down any time soon...


Where I live as well, there are plenty of gay bars. But I also live in not only the tourist capital of the world, but an area with a large population of gay people. And I still contend that the only people that are excluded from gay bars are closed-minded bigots.
blow
Bleeding on the Floor
blow
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November 2nd, 2008 at 01:34am
Mindfuck:
Where though? That just might be where you're from. Because the well-known gay bars around my town don't seem to be shutting down any time soon...

It was from a magazine, (I'm totally blanking on the name, it was something I was just flipping through while waiting in the checkout line) on a list of like top ten businesses that won't be around in the next few years. It was more saying the gay bars of the older generation.
MCRAreSuperHeroes
Killjoy
MCRAreSuperHeroes
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November 3rd, 2008 at 03:12pm
I think it is important to be proud about your sexuality.
It is something that defines you and isn't something for people to laugh at or use as a weapon. As Frank's t-shirt says, 'homophobia is gay'.
Come on guys, at least listen to Frank.
That's just my opinion but i won't ever discriminate against people of a different sexuality.
tabitha
Bleeding on the Floor
tabitha
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Gender: Female
Posts: 1831
November 3rd, 2008 at 09:43pm
^^ I think maybe because the world is becoming more accepting of the lifestyle that they can feel more comfortable in "regular" bars. The current system is a segregation of sorts, maybe it just shows that it is becoming more mainstream and acceptable. Certainly I would like to think so; but again, where I live there are still plenty of gay bars which are frequented by locals and tourists alike, and they do a pretty good business.
t'lema
Salute You in Your Grave
t'lema
Age: 33
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Posts: 2109
November 4th, 2008 at 12:04pm
Miyavi:
I think the whole "Gay Bar" thing is stupid honestly, its great to meet other people with your sexual orientation but I mean. If you want to be accepted, why exclude the people you want to be accepted by Neutral This is like the same matter of racism honestly.



Just to point out it's a lot safer in a gay bar if people are looking in relationships. I've been at 'normal' clubs where a friend of mine thought he'd hit it off with a guy, asked him out and got punched in the face. And making out with a girl at a 'normal' club has got me yelled at too. It's not racism (anyway it would be bigotry if ti was anything) it's protection.

EDIT:
However I agree that bars that offer a legitimate open minded and accepting place to meet anyone of any sexuality are great. There are precious few round here and only one solely gay pub/club. Straight people can go there too, and they do-frequently, it's just a more accepting place.
xxizzyrossxx
Killjoy
xxizzyrossxx
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 30
June 27th, 2009 at 03:05am
HEY AMY:
^ I understand what you mean. I'd been having that debate with myself for years now. I first found myself attracted to a girl in year 3! But I didn't think anything of it. By highschool, I realised I like both guys and girls in that way, but I was too scared to admit it.
It was only earlier this year, that I fully concluded - with a lot of time and thought put into it - that I'm bi. I've only told my good friends, and most of them are fine with it Smile And even tease me about the girl I like in a fun way.
I had a lot of trouble accepting it at first, cos I felt I would be judged, and as you said, the fear of rejection.
Now all I have to do is tell my parents...
me too im 11 and bi my parents were mean to my brothers bi girl friend they made her cry so she had to dump him....only a couple of ppl know but some are ok with it while other wont talk to me cause of it...they think cause im bi i like every body i see...very not true..i am a bout to date a girl my mom is always asking me who im talking to but i hate to lie to her but after i told my 18 yr old sister i dont want to tell my mom...my sister told me i was christain and its a phase and i dont know what i want but i do!....but my mom and step dad would probly shun me from the family!im scared..but i hate to lie to the pepole who r near and dear to me1help please!
Emerald Muerte
Bleeding on the Floor
Emerald Muerte
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Posts: 1134
June 29th, 2009 at 03:26am
I'm not sure if this has been touched on lately but I was just wondering what peoples opinions were on the pansexual/omnisexual orientation. To me it feels like a choice, it's not often you'll find somebody who was born open-minded to everybody. What do you guys think? Wink
Alexface.
Salute You in Your Grave
Alexface.
Age: 31
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July 1st, 2009 at 02:43pm
^ I don't think you can choose any sexuality that you have. And pansexuality/omnisexuality doesn't mean you love anyone and everyone, it's just whoever you happen to fall in love with. That in itself is uncontrollable, therefore I can't see that it is a choice. Plus, I also don't think you're born with your sexuality; it comes across later on in life.
Jesse Lacey;
Awake and Unafraid
Jesse Lacey;
Age: 28
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Posts: 12077
July 2nd, 2009 at 12:13am
Really I've been in relationships with girls and boys, but me being just barely a teenager I have no idea if this is just a "phase" or what. Hopefully this doesn't make it sound like I'm not taking my relationships seriously, but my orientation does not matter to me one bit. I do not feel the need to sit down and think about it, then declare myself either straight, lesbian, bisexual, or anything in between.
Person0001
Always Born a Crime
Person0001
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5099
July 2nd, 2009 at 09:51am
Alexface.:
I don't think you can choose any sexuality that you have. And pansexuality/omnisexuality doesn't mean you love anyone and everyone, it's just whoever you happen to fall in love with. That in itself is uncontrollable, therefore I can't see that it is a choice. Plus, I also don't think you're born with your sexuality; it comes across later on in life.
I agree with your first sentence, however, your last sentence contradicts it. Everyone I have ever spoken to about sexuality awareness has known as early as kindergarten what sex they are generally attracted to, however, it's not until we become sexually active that we begin to place labels upon it. Your second and third sentence, to me, apply to everyone, therefore, we must all be pansexual, as it is entirely possible for a person who thinks of themselves as straight to be attracted to and/or fall in love with a member of their own sex, as it is equally possible for someone who views themselves as gay to be attracted to and/or fall in love with a member of the opposite sex. Then there are those of us who classify themselves as bisexual - they're already practicing pansexuality, are they not?
questionable content
Always Born a Crime
questionable content
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July 2nd, 2009 at 04:42pm
I'm a little confused about this. What is the difference between pansexuality and bisexuality?
Person0001
Always Born a Crime
Person0001
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5099
July 3rd, 2009 at 09:53am
questionable content:
I'm a little confused about this. What is the difference between pansexuality and bisexuality?
Yeah, I don't think there is one.
Alexface.
Salute You in Your Grave
Alexface.
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 3489
July 9th, 2009 at 11:25am
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by attraction to both the same gender and the opposite gender. Unlike pansexuality, it does not specifically include people who fall outside the gender binary. Pansexuality has been described as a "means to skip the binaries and essentialism of 'bi'."

However, many people who identify as bisexual are actually attracted to people who fall outside the gender binary. These people, who could be described as pansexual, have a variety of reasons for identifying as bisexual, including widespread unfamiliarity with the term "pansexual" as well as its negative connotations for some people. Some define bisexual as "attraction to people from more than one gender". Others contrast "attraction to people of multiple genders" with pansexuality's "attraction regardless of gender".


- Wiki.