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. : A Poetic Portrayal of Lyrical Lives : .

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Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 02:57pm
Comments are very much appreciated Very Happy

1. Twilight Eyes - Page 1 - 18/June/08
2. The Wanderer and the Map - Page 1 - 18/June/08
3. The War Between Life And Death - Page 1 - 18/June/08
4. Talking In Third Person - Page 1 - 18/June/08
5. Why Was I Waiting? - Page 1 - 18/June/08
6. 6 Dyas - Page 1 - 18/June/08
7. Merry Christmas Dear - Page 1 - 18/June/08
8. Just A Friend - Page 1 - 18/June/08
9. Nightmare - Page 1 - 18/June/08
10. Silent Suicide - Page 1 - 18/June/08
11. Forgive My Present Tense - Page 1 - 18/June/08
12. Damn - Page 1 - 18/June/08
13. She - Page 1 - 18/June/08
14. Don't Ask - Page 1 - 18/June/08
15. Apathetic Apology - Page 1 - 18/June/08
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 02:57pm
Twilight Eyes

Our lives are like the twilight
Beautiful but forgotten
Not quite day and not quite night
Never lasting very long

But when the moment comes
You’ll see just who we are
No, who we’re not. Because
The twilight’s our disguise

Our eyes are like the twilight
Revealing all our troubles
We wont give up without a fight
Safeguarding all that’s honest

Because honesty is rare
And we are no exception
Keep it locked away
And hold up our deception

Our death’s are like the twilight
Troubled and disguised
Not special enough to highlight
But still sad to say goodbye

We never made an impact
We were never very tough
But to some we really mattered
And well, that’s good enough
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 02:58pm
The War Between Life and Death

The angel, he told me, this will be the end of me
Or was that the devil?
I don’t know anymore
Because the angel, he used to fight for me
So I think it’s the devil
But I just don’t know anymore

The devil he’s been there my whole fucking life
I almost gave up, the angel told me to fight
But the devil, he’s stubborn and just wont give up
And now the angel is fading away

Angel, come back! I can’t do this alone
Without you I just can’t fight anymore
Coz the devil, he’s stubborn and just wont give up
And now I am fading away

The devil keeps telling me this will be the end of me
And I know he’s right
Because the angel would always fight for me
But even he knows the devil is right

Without the angel, the devil is stronger now
I need to keep fighting the war with no idea how
But the devil, he’s stubborn and just wont give up
And now the angel’s dying

Angel, don’t die! I can’t do this alone
Without you I just can’t fight anymore
Coz the devil, he’s stubborn and just wont give up
And now I am dying

The devil keeps telling me this will be the end of me
And I know he’s right
Because the angel would always fight for me
But even he knows the devil is right

Angel, don’t die! I can’t do this alone
Without you I just can’t fight anymore
Coz the devil, he’s stubborn and just wont give up
And now I am dying
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 02:59pm
Talking In Third Person

Born under the moon on the cloudiest of nights
Wailing in misery from the darkness inside
Now flailing in that darkness where no one else can find
She's hidden inside her very own mind

You come into this world
They say it's such a happy day
But what they didn't tell us
It that we'll never be okay
Because somewhere in this life
Is something sinister
It's gonna creep up on you
So you'd better be aware

She's lost and delusional, she's lost and confused
As the world is spinning twice as fast as it should
A timid little girl, who's suddenly sixteen
Life itself is a time machine

Born under the moon on the cloudiest of nights
Wailing in misely from the darkness inside
Now flailing in that darkness where no one else can find
She's hidden inside her very own mind

She started to deteriorate the day she was born
Now she feels that no one can help her
But you've got to help her before she goes insane
Or she's gonna pull that trigger today

Because last year's wishes are this year's disappointments
As a lifetime of Happy New Years all came and went
She's given up everything she's been hoping for
And now her dream home is the morgue
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 02:59pm
Why Was I Waiting?

I’m sitting here, thinking
Thinking back to waiting
Wondering why, why was I waiting?
It wasn’t the first time
I knew you weren’t coming
So why, why, why was I waiting?

I was standing staring out of my window
I’d been in that position for three hours
You left me waiting for a total of four

I told myself that you were gonna change
You didn’t mean to leave me waiting
I just kept telling myself that it would be okay

But now I’m sitting here, thinking
Thinking back to waiting
Wondering why, why was I waiting?
It wasn’t the first time
I knew you weren’t coming
So why, why, why was I waiting?

Why the hell did I keep letting you in?
Why did I give you so many chances
Why did I live on so many false hopes?

How did I convince myself that you would change?
Why did I let you do this to me?
You’ve no idea the pain you’ve put me through

Still sitting here, thinking
Thinking back to waiting
Wondering why, why was I waiting?
It wasn’t the first time
I knew you weren’t coming
So why, why, why was I waiting?

I shouldn’t be sitting here, thinking
Or thinking back to waiting
Or wondering why, why I was waiting?
Coz it wasn’t the first time
So I knew you weren’t coming
So why, why, WHY was I waiting?

Any idiot can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad
So why the FUCK did I ever call YOU, Dad?
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 03:00pm
6 Days

We’ll go to the nearest bar and we’ll get a little drunk
We’ll go to the nearest empty room and have a little fun
Then you’ll leave in the morning before the lights come on
So you never have to look upon this fucked up piece of junk

Coz I’m just so useless
And a big fucking mess
I’m always pessimistic
And a paranoid wreck

I always feels shit
Afraid and all alone
A pathetic little loser
You wish you’d never known

I’ll never be good enough for someone to love
All I’ll ever be is a drunken mistake
No one will ever be there when I awake
No one will ever care enough to stay

Coz I’m just so useless
And a big fucking mess
I’m always pessimistic
And a paranoid wreck

I always feels shit
Afraid and all alone
A pathetic little loser
You wish you’d never known

Wish I could make you smile
Just hold you for a while
Make you feel alright
But you’ll never be mine

Wish I could make you smile
Just hold you for a while
Make you feel alright
But you’ll never be mine

Coz I’m just so useless
And a big fucking mess
I’m always pessimistic
And a paranoid wreck

I always feels shit
Afraid and all alone
A pathetic little loser
You wish you’d never known

Would you ever want a girl like me?
I doubt you’d ever want a girl like me
I’m just your average fucked up freak
No, you’d never want a girl like me

Coz I’m just so useless
And a big fucking mess
I’m always pessimistic
And a paranoid wreck

I always feels shit
Afraid and all alone
A pathetic little loser
You wish you’d never known

A pathetic little loser
Who’ll forever be alone
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 03:01pm
Merry Christmas Dear

It’s the morning after the night before
Christmas Day in fact
Oh my god, can you believe
A whole new year has passed

But last night at the party you were
Giving me the eye
I couldn’t believe you’d noticed me
After all this time

We went back to my hotel room
To have a little fun
I could smell the liquor upon you
Before we began

Now you’re lying naked next to me
With your crimson hair
Last night it was blond, I wonder
What happened there?

I never had the guts to talk but
I really loved you
Now I see who you really are and
I was just a screw

You never even looked at me as
We went all the way
Here is your early Christmas present
Ice-pick to the brain

You always seemed so far away but
Now I have you near
I kiss you on the cheek and whisper
“Merry Christmas dear”
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 03:01pm
Just A Friend

I keep thinking I see a spider on the wall
Just like I keep thinking that me and you could work
I take a second glance and that spider's disappeared
It replaced my comfort with misery and fear

I fucking hate spiders but I want it to come back
Coz now that it's gone all I see is you with her

Just a friend
Well that sucks

The wind is roaring abuse right in my face
Blowing away any hint of my existence
Reminding me I'm just a useless waste of space
Making me wonder why I even bother

I fucking hate the wind but I want it to come back
Coz now that it's gone I'm getting my false hopes up

Just a friend
Well that sucks

I was eating a chocolate bar and now it's gone
Another bizzarre thing that reminds me of you
Loved it while it was ther enow i'm gutted coz it's not
The wrapper is the memories I wont forget

Loved the chocolate but don't want it to come back
Coz it's just a false image of what we'll never be

Coz we're just friends
And that's all we'll ever be
Just a friend
That really fucking sucks
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 03:02pm
Nightmare
(Unless anyone can think of a better title for me?lol)

Wake up from this nightmare world
Don’t let them take you alive
Don’t believe a word they say
They’ll lead you to insanity
Don’t take what they prescribed you

Just sleep, my friend, sleep
Sleep it all off next to me
Just sleep, my friend sleep
I’ll protect you in your dreams
So please, my friend, please
Sleep it all off next to me
So please, my friend, please
Escape from the world for a while

Life’s getting on like a house on fire
It’s burning, crumbling, to the ground
You can’t breathe, from the fear
You’re eyes are, stinging, wide and round
Don’t let the fear consume your life

Just sleep, my friend, sleep
Sleep it all off next to me
Just sleep, my friend sleep
I’ll protect you in your dreams
So please, my friend, please
Sleep it all off next to me
So please, my friend, please
Escape from the world for a while

Don’t know what you’re seeing
You toss and turn screaming
Tears of fear are streaming
Can’t escape by dreaming

Very very frightening
Everything is brightening
Your panic is blinding
And your fears are whitening

It’s very traumatic
Everything dramatic
Living’s problematic
WAKE UP!

Screaming isn’t working
You’re eyelids are burning
All your limbs are jerking
What the hell is lurking?

Your world is very vivid
But not what you’re living
Nothing is forgiving
By fear you are driven

Don’t know what to do now
Feeling very useless
You’re gonna die from fear now
WAKE UP!!
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 03:03pm
Silent Suicide

Weights have hit my shoulders
With another secret to hold
By the scars on her wrist
When she let it all unfold

I want to let her know that I care
Let her know that I’ll always be there
Can’t she understand, her bullets I’ll share?

Hold her close and don’t let her go
A beautiful woman of sorrow

Dying right before my eyes
Can’t you see she’s dying?
She’s a lady of disguise
But can’t you see she’s crying?
With all the pain in her eyes
Can’t you see she’s lying?

She’s a wonderful lady of disguise

Her coffin with a rose
The deep wounds covering her skin
The blood over her clothes
The deep hole you’ll bury her in

Couldn’t she see just how much I cared?
Didn’t she know I’d always be there?
Couldn’t she understand, her bullets I’ll share?

Hold her close and don’t let her go
A beautiful woman of sorrow

Dying right before my eyes
Can’t you see she’s dying?
She’s a lady of disguise
But can’t you see she’s crying?
With all the pain in her eyes
Can’t you see she’s lying?

She’s a wonderful lady of disguise

All the secrets I knew
I probably could’ve saved you
But I was just too late
Now I’m never gonna save you

They made your wrists kiss the razorblade
I wish I could’ve been there
You had to die alone and afraid
I’ll join you now coz life ain’t fair

I just wanna hold you one last time

Say goodbye
One last time
To those empty sorrowful eyes
Hold her just
One more time
My beautiful lady of disguise
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 03:03pm
Forgive My Present Tense

Innocent youthful beauty I see in you
Aye a fine fine woman you could turn out to be
But now you’ve crumpled, flat down to the ground
From the sheer pressure, of that arsehole crowd

Who knows what in time we could have grown to have
Aye, what fine fine times we will now never see
I often wonder, if you remember when
We feel asleep, our bodies tangled limbs

We were so close hun, I’ve never been so close
I think I was happy with you in my arms
Usually I feel, like the sea in a storm
But with you I feel, more like Keptie duck pond

It could just be hormones I’ll accept that fact
But I know, to me, it is more than that
When I am lonely, it’s your presence I call
You are my angel, the purest of them all

But you’re gone and you’re never coming back
And for some reason I just can’t accept that fact
Your memories plagued, by nothing but lies
And now you see me, through their hateful eyes

You were gonna say sorry, I know you were
But I was a bitch and didn’t give you the chance
It hurts more than any, dictionary can ever tell you
To have you look at me, the way you now do

Forgive my present tense
But I still feel the same
And it will never
Go away
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 03:04pm
Damn

Damn you, damn me, damn everyone here
Damn him, damn her, damn the whole damn world
Damn everyone else who I may have missed

Damn the hypocrites that say violence isn’t the answer
Damn the people who never practise what they preach and
Damn everyone in our god damn reach

Damn the bands who shit-talk people in public
Damn Fall Out Boy for releasing a lyric before me
Damn whoever you can and can’t see

Damn the system with it’s authority and all it’s corruption
Damn the teachers who seriously believe in that system
Damn them all no matter their position

Damn AOL for not finding the internet connection
Damn the laptop for the heat that’s making me sweaty
Damn them all! Now don’t be petty

Damn the stereotypes that screw everyone up
Damn the kids who never give people a chance
Damn everyone from here to god damn France

Damn my bladder for filling at inconvenient times
Damn my antibodies for not making my cough go away
Damn everyone who is living to-damn-day

Damn the lamp-posts that don’t move when you’re not paying attention
Damn the people on the High Street simply for being there
Damn everyone coz I just don’t care

Damn the shower for going cold when you tell it to heat up
Damn the central heating that packs in every other day
Damn everyone, don’t let them get away

Damn the people who think they’re better than everyone else
Damn the people who just never put up a fight
But don’t damn this song
It was fun to write
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 03:04pm
She

Version 1

She got home about half past four
And as usual, she’s on her own
Dad walked out and Mum’s at work
Gran picked her little brother up
Another shitty day at school
Yet another blood red pool
The cool kids beat her up again
Now she’s at her broken home again

This morning, as usual, she woke up alone
Mum and Brother had already gone
She already knew how today would go
The name calling and the beating at quarter to four
She dreaded walking through those gates
And entering the building she hates
To be pressured and shouted at by the teachers
And the constant criticism from the kids

She hates her father but misses him too
There’s no money and very little food
There would be more for her mum and bro
If she was here no more
She felt like no one cares anymore
As she remembers the days of long ago
When Dad told them he loved them
And when she still had all of her friends

Mum and Brother found her on her bed
Mum tried to save her but she was already dead
A mother has lost her only daughter
A six year old boy has lost his big sister
Another member of the family gone
Father and daughter, now what about son?
That night left a nasty emotional scar
Mother and Brother never recovered

Mum was plunged into severe depression
Blaming herself for absolutely everything
She felt she no longer deserved to live
And she jumped off a bridge to her death
Back then Son was too young to understand
But a few years later he was an emotional wreck
There was nothing left to live for and no one left to care
And now Son has surrendered his life aswell

I bet this is not what she wanted
And regrets the day she sat alone on her bed
With the pills in her left hand and vodka in her right
And wishes she’d stood up and fought the fight
She feels like a coward, her family destroyed
There was so much that she could have enjoyed
And now she wishes that she’d stayed
So her mum and li’l brother would be alive today


Version 2

She got home about half past four
And as usual, She’s on her own
Dad walked out and Mum’s at work
Gran picked her little brother up
Another shitty day at school
Yet another blood red pool
The cool kids beat her up again
Now She’s at her broken home again

This morning, as usual, She woke up alone
Mum and Brother had already gone
She already knew how today would go
The name calling and the beating at quarter to four
She dreaded walking through those gates
And entering the building she hates
To be pressured and shouted at by the teachers
And constant criticism from the kids

She hates her father but misses him too
There’s no money and very little food
There would be more for Mum and Bro
If She was here no more
She felt like no one cares anymore
As She remembers the days of long ago
When Dad told them he loved them
And when She still had all of her friends

When She felt like she couldn’t take it anymore
She was about to swallow the pills and down the alcohol
Earlier than usual, Mum and Brother come in
And before She knows it they’re in her room
Mum soon puts two and two together
And runs across the room and hugged her
For what felt like forever Mum wouldn’t let go
And for the first time in ages She felt loved

She knows this is not what she wants
Now She wants to stay with Brother and Mum
Dropped the pills and vodka to the floor
She knows she wont need them anymore
She embraces Mum and holds Brother close
Now She’s the one who wont let go
She now knows that she wants to stay
She knows her life’s not over today

Twenty years later She’s loving her life
She’s now married with three children
She named them after those she loves
And none of them will ever feel like giving up
She’s qualified as a school councillor
She’s helping other kids just like her
She knows what these kids are feeling like
But She knows it pays to stay
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 03:05pm
Don't Ask

Once again I’m asked “Are you okay?”
Once again my dam begins to break
“Yeah I’m fine”
I manage to say

“Are you sure?”. Prepare for the second round
As the dam begins to crumble to the ground
Now my stability
Can’t be found

“No I’m not o-fucking-kay” I think
As the truth comes flooding through like nuclear waste
And smiling
It’s harder these days

Massive rush of empathy
But I don’t need your sympathy
I just need you
To go away

And I know that you only meant well
But I need to fix what you just fell
You unleashed demons
From my hell

They tear into every inch of my being
Ripping, tearing, stabbing, slicing
Until there’s nothing
For them to eat

Your caring only left me with the task
Of re-building my fragile indestructible dam
So please
Just don’t ask
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 18th, 2008 at 03:05pm
Apathetic Apology

Shrug and say that you don’t care
I dare you
Tell her you were never there
I f*cking dare you
See if you live to tell the tale
I bet you wont
Now go tell her you don’t care
I bet you f*cking wont

You f*cking hurt my friend again
(F*cking hurt my friend again)
You apathetic b*stard
(Apathetic b*stard)
You’ll pay for what you did to her
(Pay for what you’ve done to her)
You apathetic b*stard
(Apathetic b*stard)

You should’ve just left her alone
You selfish fool
But you just had to come back for more
You f*cking selfish fool
Took advantage of her mental state
You idiot
I class that as f*cking mental rape
You f*cking idiot

Give your apathy a challenge
Say you wont care when she’s dead
But I know that you wont do that
Coz somewhere you still care
Search to the bottom of your cold steel heart
And tell me what is there
Then give a simple little apology
And save this angel’s life

If you don’t

You wont live to hurt my friend again
(Wont live to hurt my friend again)
You apathetic b*stard
(Apathetic b*stard)
So if you’re not suicidal
(If you’re not suicidal)
You apathetic b*astard
(You apathetic b*stard)
You’ll apologise like you mean it
(Apologise like you mean it)
You apathetic b*stard
(Apathetic b*stard)
Or I’ll kill you with my bare hands
(Kill you with my bare hands)
You f*cking apathetic b*astard
Asiah Scott
Joining The Black Parade
Asiah Scott
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 194
June 19th, 2008 at 03:28pm
I love the ones I read.
Twilight Eyes: It seems to offer so much hope. The imagery is tenderly wonderful.
The War Between Life and Death: Very fascinating. I like the repetition element there. The reader could feel as if he/she was asking the questions and feeling it all by him/herself...

I will read more as soon as I get time. xD
But I like how simple, yet elegantly you've put up the words...=)
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
June 27th, 2008 at 10:47am
Thanks Very Happy

I like to use simple language coz personally I find it annoying when you're reading a poem or listening to a song and you don't even understand half the words lol
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
March 21st, 2009 at 04:13pm
The Wanderer and the Map

A single green tree smiles down upon me
A minor comfort in a life of loneliness
A single bluebird begging to be heard
A beautiful sound in a life of loneliness

I was a wanderer
You became my map
I wont give up on you
Even if you give up on yourself
Don’t throw your life away
Please just let me help
You are the wanderer
Let me be your map

A fierce young lion leaves you to your crying
A minor comfort in a life of loneliness
You can hear the river where life is delivered
A beautiful sound in a life of loneliness

I was a wanderer
You became my map
I wont give up on you
Even if you give up on yourself
Don’t throw your life away
Please just let me help
You are the wanderer
Let me be your map

We’ll take the bad weather and we’ll live the absurd
We’ll smile at the trees and we’ll sing to the birds
We’ll befriend the lions and live off the river
So take my hand and we can wander together
Your Ghost.
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Your Ghost.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 440
March 25th, 2009 at 09:07pm
All of your work seems to have dangerously amazing emotion. Quite frankly, its one of the best works i have ever seen. Keep up the amazing work. Fantastic Job!
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
April 6th, 2009 at 03:28pm
Thank you hug