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She, The Souless Warrior, of Vast Suicidal Thoughts.

AuthorMessage
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
July 24th, 2008 at 12:00pm
:: My Chemical Tales ::

Sun rising, as my eyes shot open,
Splitting pain shooting through my head,
Life's ticking by, while time's slowly fading out.

Thanks to you, I hate who I am,
You're perfect, with that smug look
Written all over your face
I'll never be as perfect as you,
So I'll let myself fall away.

Everything goes blank
every once in a short while,
Chemical indepencey takes it's toll
One more Bacardi shot and it's all over.
It's all gone within the blackness of your eyes.

Trying to be just like you after a while,
Tends to get ever so dull.
While I'm stil trying to catch your attention,
I'll fall, slip into the darkness, fade away.
wrong
Awake and Unafraid
wrong
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 10389
July 24th, 2008 at 12:27pm
... I think I know what is this one about, Lora. And it´s great. Not that you feel like that, but your writing.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
July 24th, 2008 at 07:18pm
Thanks Anthony xD

:: Broken Butterfly Wings ::

Rainbow skies.
Tearstained clouds.
Starlit nights.

Sun kissed beaches.
Rainey ocean blues.

Are you with me
or are you gone?

Cherry flowers blossom.
A Butterfly struggles
To make it's landing.
A tragic tale.
Just another
Broken Butterfly Wings.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
July 26th, 2008 at 08:58pm
:: Another Hopeless Dreamer ::

glimmering armour, coated in silver
heart shaped liquor, broken like a mirror
runned down all the time.

packets they litter, intoxicating my veins
somethings cut me so deep
like shredded paper
another dosage of their lies.

and she would cry
she'll shatter some mirrors
and break down, to die
it was all just lies.

another hopeless dreamer
another lost child, whos dying deep inside

and she'll whisper "i could've died."
which'll break the silence like a knife.

she could've died, and you lied

now she lies weeping over a gravestone
lost inside, doesn't know where to run
she can't hide!

another time to want to die
another hopeless dreamer
who's lost inside
temptation.
Shotgun Sinner
temptation.
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 8676
July 27th, 2008 at 05:59am
Clap Clap Clap You're writing a very touching kind of poetry.Great job,I don't know what else to say.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
July 27th, 2008 at 06:21am
Aw, thankyou

:: No Matter, They'll Lie ::

The world is a cold place, filled with some pain
The tears you hide, they'll never go away
And the cuts you make, they'll never fade
You should know, I still love you so even
When I don't seem to show, you mean more to me,
than you know.

Trying to be brave, to hide your shame
You have no name, only your parents' fame
And trying not to let it show, you think
It's time to let yourself go

Would they be happy if she collapsed,
to the ground, dead and gone?
Would they be okay, if they said their goodbyes?

They'll be alright, without her in their lives
She'll think she's by herself, all alone to die
But I think it's time they showed her
She's still part of their lives
No matter how much they'll lie.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
July 28th, 2008 at 06:43pm
:: Hopeless ::

Starring at the mirror, you'll stain.
Hopeless child, who didn't want to know.
Couldn't pull the trigger, you're still a coward.

Now you'll let it show, you'll loathe yourself,
more than you even seem to know.

You'll cry, let the bruises come alive.
Would it be a surprise?

I love you. One million more times;
Will you ever let me know?
I want to let go, and you will say 'no'.

Are you the saviour of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?

Could you defeat them, the demons,
that lurk in my sleep?

Strike for glory, smell of death, it lines the air.
You're not a superhero, just a boy, who ought to sing this song.
But I just thought I should let you know, you're the one who won't let me go.
I'll believe in you, even when the Black Parade's dead and gone.

You'll be by yourself, till you let your lungs collapse.
And sing out for inner beauty, a collector for your thoughts.
A traveller, to take away the war, in your state of mind.

Hopeless warrior, still searching the scene,
one more scream, and so it carries on,
you'll turn into everything that I hate.
And still they say, you're as hopeless as I will be, someday.

Hopeless, they say?
You've got no shame.
Just look at where you are today.
Proud man, with everything you deserve.
So go on, live your life,
But I miss you more than I did yesterday.


and when I close off this note,
he'll tell me the words I've always wanted to hear,
"I still love you, although I do not let it show,
you're beautiful in every single way."
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
July 29th, 2008 at 02:09pm
:: Give It A Try ::

I wish there was a way, to make you stay.
But I can't force you to be mine.
And I can't force you to love me, the way that I love you.
And I won't ever learn, that I can't make you mine.
I can't, ohh, I can't make you mine.

Now please don't walk away,
Just give me a chance, and
If it doesn't work out that way.
I won't force you to stay,
No I won't force you to stay.

wish there was a way, to make you stay.
But I can't force you to be mine.
And I can't force you to love me,
The way that I love you.
And I won't ever learn, that I can't make you mine.
I can't, ohh, I can't make you mine.

You gave us a try, and you actually found out,
That you liked me in that way.
Now you won't ever leave my side.


I love you.
I love you.
I love ohh.
I love you.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
July 29th, 2008 at 02:14pm
:: Don't Tell Me "Never" ::

:: Don't Tell Me Never ::

Mmmh yeah.
Days fade,
the curtains close.
The night's come,
another chance to dream.

But don't tell me "never",
they'll survive,
and I'll shine.

You won't destroy me,
with your negativity.
I may've hated myself,
for so long.
But I've finally let it go,
I'll make the sacrifice,
to take a big chance.

And don't tell me that,
you honestly care.
Cause you don't,
you'll know within time
I didn't let go.

My dreams'll come alive,
so don't ever tell me "never".
It'll only give me more time,
to prove that I'll take it to the top.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 3rd, 2008 at 02:13pm
:: Promises ::

If I hug you, I'll know what I want to do.
I'll want to kiss you, but I know you wouldn't allow me too.
Please let me kiss you, just this once.
And I promise, I'll let you go.

The night, it begins to come.
Lonelieness, it sweeps over me.
And I feel so incomplete.
So breakable, with one little touch.

Promises are sweet, especially if they're from you.
Will you promise to stay with me,
Or will I die, unlovingly unknown?

You mean more to me, than you'll ever know.
Promise me, you'll never let me go.
I need you to stay close, for my own sake.
Does this make me seem selfish?
It's just for the protection of my breaking heart.

And so we'll sway, in the candlelight glow.
You'll hold me close, hands entwined.
Everything seems so perfect, so true.

And when I wake, I'll think of you.
Although it was all a dream, it was real to me.
Promises are sweet, especially if they're from you.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 6th, 2008 at 06:55am
:: Like You ::

Everything I touch, I always seem to muck up.
I'm sorry, I'm not perfect.
What do you expect me to be, somebody like you?

I'm troubled, and often bitchy.
Can you blame me?
I live a life full of lies, if not hardly a life.
If you can't accept me for who I am, why bother?

I get told I should be more like you.
More then three times a day.
The trouble is, I am more like you in so many ways.
But you won't notice, cause I won't let you see it.

Like you will ever learn to care,
if you saw the state of my arms.
I need to stop doing this to myself,
or stop pretending that everythings all alright.
Cause it's far from perfect.

If I could be like you, it'd be okay?
I wouldn't get looked upon, the way I do now.
But the tunnel at the end of the road's closing in,
and it's time to admit that I'm not like you.

If I was, I wouldn't be sitting,
here right now, crying my heart out.
Like you would ever know.
Lie To Me
Fabulous Killjoy
Lie To Me
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 163
August 7th, 2008 at 02:59pm
your poems are amazing......
they took my breath away....
Clap Clap Clap Clap
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 8th, 2008 at 01:58pm
*blush*
thankyou
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 9th, 2008 at 07:00am
:: Who Are You? ::

Twenty years has been and gone,
poverty history was never made.
Things were still kept the same,
wars, murder and abduction.
It never seemed to change,
but only to grow worse.

Who are you, that starts all this misery?
Who are you, to stand up there, and kill so many?
Who are you, to tell us how to live our lives?
Who are you, that puts families in agony?
Who are you, for you're no brave warrior.
Who are you, to march innocence out to their death?

I don't grasp the whole idea of war,
it only takes away innocence in vain.
Guns and bombings, whats the use,
how would you ever make peace in this way?

I stood at the door, pleading you, 'please don't go!'
You're marching to your death, and you don't seem to care.

I watch the news anxiously, waiting for news to be announced,
that you've been shot down, blown to peices or killed.
But no news came, and you never came home.

Who are you, to hurt me this way?
Who are you, to give a smirk to the press,
when you're the person whos putting people in this misery.
Who are you, to stand up there and say, 'War is the only way'?

Now I know I'll never see your face again,
and your coffin's being transfered back from Iraq.
I'll see you for the last time, in a wooden box,
and my memories will fall to pieces.

It's tormenting me, I'll never get to see your pretty blue eyes again.
That wonderful smile, that oh so perfect face.
You're gone, and I couldn't do anything to prevent this death.

Who are you, now that you've done your torture?
Who are you, now that you've torn people to peices?
Who are you, now that people are dead, because of you?!

One day, you'll get to feel this burning pain,
that you threw in everybody else's faces.
Who are you? Well I don't care,
cause you'll die a long, tormentive death.
For you're the person who took away all innocence.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 9th, 2008 at 09:09am
:: Me ::

Sitting in the stillness of the dark
A few but not many, they pass by
They don't bother to look, at the shameful wreckage
While you're convinced they somehow care
They're laughing behind your back
And mockingly joke about your pain

You wrap your arms around yourself
And tell yourself that it's all alright
That it's all gonna be okay

Your arm's bloody, and your shirt's worn
The sickening thoughts come running back to your mind
As you lie down and close your eyes

People they keep staring
What the hell is wrong with you?
They're always laughing, cracking up jokes
You couldn't seem to find what was so humerous about yourself

Rain splatters down, like the tears that gleam down your flushed cheeks
The thunder, it rumbles hard, like your heart's beating out of control
And the lightning, it sparks up the sky, like the flashbacks in your mind

While your by yourself in your room, you pick up that blade
And pull it to your wrist, without a care for once
You write on the walls of your bathroom stalls, with your own blood
'This is what it is like to be somebody like me'
You'll let a few more tears escape, while you load the gun
You say goodbye one final time and let death come
Molko. Killjoy.
Motor Baby
Molko. Killjoy.
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 814
August 9th, 2008 at 10:08pm
wow...
Me is sooo amazing...
i was in tears by the end of it...
although it's really sad it has ALOT of meaning and you express it wonderfully...
Clap Clap Clap
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 10th, 2008 at 04:54am
aw, thanks xD
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 10th, 2008 at 08:08am
:: Somewhere (like home) ::

Stood silently in the porch, waiting to die.
You felt imprisoned with a passion.
You feel empty and hallow, like something's almost missing.

There's so many things your mind slips onto.
It feels like something's not right, in this blackened picture.
It almost feels like you know that something more is out there,
that you need to know, to find yourself in your lost dark little hole.

And they're staring at you in the face, two amazing guys.
Who you portrait more than they see, more than you know.
You carry their looks everywhere you go, even when you look at yourself in the mirror.
Gerard Way's personality, you have seemed to inherited.
Along with all his famous traits, including his dinky little teeth.

You sit on the floor, thinking silently to yourself.
You seem to realise, more and more everyday,
that there must be a link between you, Gerard and Michael Way.

You can't help but notice suddenly, all these little things.
So alike, so true, almost perfect, but it feels like there's now more missing.
Is there another place, you seem to belong?
Somewhere almost like home, maybe it's called New Jersey?

Will you find out if you follow your heart, and your dreams?
It seems to hold strongly in your mind, and their family's burning strong within your soul.
Are you really a sister of their's, or even so a distant cousin, lost a long time ago?
You'll continue to search whatever's missing, ready to undisguise the truth.
And maybe then, you can truly be yourself.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 10th, 2008 at 08:17am
:: Poetic Disguise ::

Is there any truth behind words, that they print?
Somehow, they all seem to hold a form of a lie.
Now as I sigh, reading the crap printed on the page.
With one little thought, that's spinning round in my mind.

Poetic Disguise. Distinguished lies.
Flames that rippled through your numbed body.
A sign of broken hostality, broken insecurity.


I seem to have lost a gain of trust, I see the world through bloody eyes.
Tears that I cry, I hide with my hair and my hood.
But I don't speak one word of a lie, when I say freely,
Gerard Way, come rescue me, from a poetic disguise, save me from the nothing
that I live within, from everything they speak, and shield me from their harm.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 10th, 2008 at 08:31am
:: Dear Diary ::

Dear Diary,
Today was awful.
People were dying.
Tears being spilled.
Blood escaping them.
And you still laugh at me.

Dear Diary,
Was it a nightmare?
I could see you lying,
dead on the ground.
Thoughts, they scare me.
Nobody seems to care.
My only friend is you.

Dear Diary,
I picked up a blade.
And thought of something new.
Casting aside my problems.
With one little cut to the wrist.
And I feel all better again,
almost heartly whole.

Dear Diary,
Thankyou for listening.
You're my best friend,
one who I can trust.
The one who'll listen,
and understand.

Dear Diary,
Tonight I will die.
Thankyou for loving me.
You're the only.
You helped me smile,
when I was sad.
And you let me hug you,
when nobody else would.
I will miss you, but you'll be here,
to show them the missing pages of my life.
This is my suicide note, with tearstained ink.
I love you dear diary, don't forget that.
And I loved you too world,
but you treated me with horrorous pain.
Goodbye.