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She, The Souless Warrior, of Vast Suicidal Thoughts.

AuthorMessage
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 24th, 2008 at 11:47am
awww..thanks so much =D
temptation.
Shotgun Sinner
temptation.
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 8676
August 26th, 2008 at 04:08am
I'll start with the compliments again...AWESOME FUCKING POEMS!!!!!!!!And that's just the start...hehe Very HappyVery HappyVery Happy I check you poetry section everytime,when I'm online and I read and read and read...I just can't stop.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 26th, 2008 at 06:05am
Awwh thanks =]
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 28th, 2008 at 08:09am
:: Insonmia's Bitterness & of the Mind's Imaginary Voices ::

Undernights sky, she lies.
Sweet and innocent, so she appears to be.
An demonic devil, out on a mission, to kill all innocence.
She twirls her hair, in her fingertips, as she smirks.
These hearts she's breaking,
the blood she's taking,
those venomous flames dancing in her eyes,
shes the fragement of your mind.


She speaks viciously in the back of your mind,
She steals all your sanity, and drives you to madness,
She's the one whom they all dread,
An image flashing in your mind, imagination playing tricks on your eyes,
and your eardrums are beating hard, with every breath you take.

Your heart is aching; its taking too many beatings,
She's letting you down, again and again, by being nothing,
And you're ripping yourself to pieces, dying to let go.

Sun's finally coming up, you're relieaved, oh so relieaved,
She's vanished, but only for now, she'll creep back,
Back into the bitterness of your insonmia, crawling back to your insecurity,
She's feeding off your hurt, your pain, your insecurity,
She's taking everything she can, into terms and twisting it all 'round,
Everything that now happens, is always going to be your fault,
Regardless of the situations, you're always somehow the caulprit,
And you want to be stopped redhanded before the game even begins,
Before the insanity sweeps over you again, you won't be taken like a fool.

Just so you can make it go away, that voice of her's isn't fading,
Your heart's beating, but you're feeling so dead inside,
Numb and cold, it's like there's no feeling to your own skin,
No reactions when you're conscious of something hot,
Trickling down your flushed cheeks, you're always going to be on your own,
Nobody wants to hang 'round somebody like you,
A manic on the self-destruct button, unwillingly ready to commit your death,
You're losing yourself quicker than you could imagined it,
and you're falling for every trick she plays inside your mind.

Now as you close your eyes, gripping hard onto your pillow for 'protection',
You're worst fear is happening all over again, flashing before your eyes,
And there's nothing you can do to prevent it, you're stuck in the middle,
Almost willingly ready to let it all go, you're never going to be unstuck from this situation,
Not untill you pull that gun to your head and let it all go.

Bang, bang!
And now you're gone,
Sprawled on the floor,
your blood's leaking,
staining the wooden flooring,
And you're not breathing;
I've lost my security within one little blow,

Insonmia's bitterness never tends to get better,
Sleepless times are hard to avoid,

and the voices that keep nagging at your mind, at every little thing,
it's always hard to fight off, and I don't hold you against your decission,
you were always brave, untill towards the end.

I watched you fail, I watched you cry, I watched you restless,
I watched your life unfold, and then it was all gone,
All gone with one single gunshot, and finally the voices, they cease up,
They're not going to bother you ever again.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
September 2nd, 2008 at 05:25pm
:: Don't Ever Lie ::

I've heard you stuck round,
did you think it was worth the fight?
I've heard you dug deep,
did you work as hard as you could?

Don't ever lie to me,
for I know you too well.
Don't ever lie to me,
you'll regret the risk you take.

I heard you sobbing in the kitchen,
as I sat in the staircase, eagerly listening.
I heard you screaming,
you wanted it all to go away.
I've heard you talking drunkenly to yourself,
I cringe at the sight, and die inside of the state.

Don't ever lie to me,
I know what goes on.
Don't ever lie to me,
you know I'd find a way.
Don't ever lie to me,
you'll never be forgiven.

So you can cry,
and runaway to hide.
Those bullets you're firing,
all for a hail of glory?
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
September 5th, 2008 at 06:35am
arthur's notes: yes, I know the title's from one of MCR's songs...rest of the poem isn't though.

:: I'm Trying To Let You Know ... ::

Splashing the water in rage, it flies.
It feels as if the sky's raining, on you.
Dampening your parade, for all your lies.
"They're just papercuts.", is that what they believe?

The door's locked, you're alone.
There's nobody home, you let your heart breath.

And for a panic-struck moment, wonder how this could've happened.
It started as a little lie, just to make them sorry for what they did.
As for now, it's a salvaging addiction that you won't crack.

You feel the cold hit you, you're all but in a thin blouse.
You're locked in your garden shed, all on your own.
Nobody hears your cries, late at night.
You can never sleep, for it's far too cold, to shut your eyes.

But the pain that comes, after you pierce your own flesh.
It stops you from going numb, in some sickened way.
And you don't mind the pain, it's become your best friend.

Now as I say goodbye and fall to the ground.
You never loved me, so how could I love myself?
I never thought I'd become this, but it all was so true.
Exposure.
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Exposure.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 450
September 7th, 2008 at 10:27am
This ish just marvolous shadow! Very Happy
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
September 7th, 2008 at 05:53pm
:: I've Become ::

I sit by myself, on the coast.
I wonder where I've gone.

I hide the sleepless nights, with eyeliner and mascara.
Hidden under the cloak of my hood, my tears silently venture.
And my mind, it begins to wander.

The pain's gone on a mascarade, taken its leave with the Parade.
It'll march back tomorrow, when I re-awake from this nightmare.
And go back into time, where everything starts all again.

I place the scars promptently on my arms.
And decide to never care about it again.
Whether it's right or wrong, it's why I'm still alive.

Thats when it's hit me, I've gone and done a runner.
With no inclination of what I've become...
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
September 9th, 2008 at 08:25pm
I thought there'd be something special,
when I looked into your eyes.
Sparks that could've flared up, dancing inside,
when I kissed you goodnight.
As I watch you drive away tears that line my eyes,
you'll be back when the day's gone, back to the warmth of our home.

They made portraits of us holding one another tightly,
so young and perfectly in love.
It felt something like out of a fairy tale,
and you are my prince, who saved me from the wicked Witch.

I thought about what I had wanted all my lifetime,
and it's right here, snuggling up next to me.
The past seemed to vanish in a sleepy haze,
while you were all I needed, to be complete.

Although our wedding was small,
and we wore just jeans with a white tee.
It was still as romantic as I dreamed it had been,
and you're now laying in my arms.

Oh, sweet love,
Dreams of serenity,
Soaring through the sky,
On angel wings,
And as I land on cloud nine,
You're by my side,
And you'll stay,
With me, forever that way.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
September 20th, 2008 at 06:29pm
:: Smile ::

cheer up babe, things aren't as bad as they seem
even if the skies look like they could rain
there's always a reason to dry your eyes
and bring out the sunshine with that beautiful smile

i know you're missing him but crying isn't gonna bring him home
smile a little and try to forget as you work through the day
the hours they always seem so long but i know you'll pull through
cause that's what you do when you

smile

cause thats what the world's worth these days
only if you smile through the dark rainy days

smile

and they'll see you stood there
feeling so happy
you'll always have me
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
September 29th, 2008 at 07:33pm
:: feelings for you ::

i wish i could go back into the past and bring it alive,
missing you just breaks my heart in two.
broken and bruised, while i sit around and wait for you,
even so that i know you're never coming home.
i'll sit and wait for you, yes baby its true that,
no matter what i do, i can't stop myself feeling this way for you.
even when you can do the impossible worst, my heart still wants to forgive you.

and i'll never want to stop crying myself to sleep at night,
all through you, and only you.
you're the one who breaks my heart into two, yet you
never seem to give a care, for whats left in my life which is nothing without you.

i watch you drive far away - you never gave a care for what you did,
it's always got to be about you and only you.
all i can say is that i won't ever forgive and forget, this pain's too real,
and i'm lost in my feelings for you.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
September 29th, 2008 at 07:35pm
:: poem for you ::

Staring at the wall in front of you,
you're lost in chain of thoughts.
If only things would've been different,
if it was all thought through.
Maybe now you wouldn't feel so blue,
but unfortunately for you, it never fell threw.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
October 6th, 2008 at 02:10pm
I could be like every other kid in my highschool
but I thought they were contagious
This dilema, the stupidity, of all these "emo" fashions

The blondes are tall, glamerous, in their designer leather
They think they've got it all; everything but the brains

My mother's a model, she demands I could be thinner
Taller, and a different hair color, more manners
More femine style, instead of my baggy tshirts,
my beat up converse and black painted nails.

My Father's your typical mechanic kinda nerd,
he thinks that I could be famous, for working in a rundown smelly old pub,
He sits so poshly, in his Clavin Klein, I reckon
he should've been married to Madonna, he coulda been much more wealthier!

Then there's my brother, I never see him; he travels from New York, to Italy
I never see him, but people are always on demand, I needed to be much more like him,
and then there's my teacher, she thinks she could be his wife, but I think she needs to take a look in the mirror!

As for my older brother, he has a secret fetish for one of the Cheeky Girls,
his girlfriend is always so jealous, its quite a funny scene.

Then there's my other brother, he's the most genius person on this planet,
he should be buried next to St. Patrick, or maybe next to Enstein.

As for my grandparents, thats another story for my History class!

Its stupid, contagious, absolutely ridiculous,
why can't I be myself?!
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
October 6th, 2008 at 09:03pm
I sit and stare,
as the sky falls.
I can feel my heart beating,
but I don't want to live,
not without you.

So tell me,
whats going on?
Did you ever think of me,
or ever gave a care?

I wish I could be,
something utterly different,
then maybe you'd come back,
to change your mind and,
tell me you love me too.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
October 17th, 2008 at 07:53pm
:: "A Heart For A Heart" ::

There's no room for love, purity,
I blocked out all the feelings,
and replaced them with hate.

There's a long tunnel, the lights are out,
and I don't know whether I'm going in the right direction,
it never seems to end, as I'm growing weaker and weaker.

There's no place in my heart for living,
when I can't get my heart beating,
I could lie and deny, pretend till the sun dies down,
and it'll get me nowhere, like every other pointless day.

So end this suffering silence, a knife in the hand,
will that solve a problem?
Take away a life, for freedom, no more enemies in hands.

I'll get over the pain, I have no choice but to keep on living,
the lifetime of blood, the tears, will end in pointless vain,
so I'm taking a heart for a heart, breaking another part,
and so I shall plaster, this fake smile permanantally on my face,
now you'll never know, the burning inside me, is non-existant; just like me.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
October 21st, 2008 at 02:30pm
Staring at the mirror, she smashes it.
Lonely girl without no destiny, so she cries.
Friendless, she remains.
Lost inside, doesn't know where to turn.
She tries to smile, but she doesn't remember how.
All she knows is that, she wants to die.

She can't hide her pain forever;
Her sorrows, she attempts to drown.
Alcohol may help, or attacking her wrists.
She lays helpless, somenights;
By herself, she cries.

Everythings gone; she has no love within her.
She's filled with hatrid and anger.
She can't love somebody, without loving herself.
She's nobody important.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
December 26th, 2008 at 05:06pm
"Life's One Big Heartache"

Die and Die time and time again.
Shoot me, shoot me and betrayed me.
Leave me, leave me, and watch me cry.
Tonight it's just the both of us outsiders,
and we're not wanted in their pack of lies.

Misguided trust was placed deep within,
A heart that was broken and cannot be fixed.
Friendship that was like fraud, how fake that must make you look.

And while I stand here smiling, I'm laughing in your face.
Tonight we're still standing, and you're gone for death.
Keeping close to those who know best, who know how to love and care.
You only know how to insult and hate.

Die and Die time and time again.
Shoot me, shoot me and betrayed me.
Leave me, leave me, break me down,
Hate me, hate me, and watch me cry.

Life's just one big heartache, it's a bitch.
And if popularity's your aim, then you're fake.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
January 2nd, 2009 at 05:57pm
"My Oxygen's You"

Sitting alone in the glass room, feels like I'm waiting to be told I'm going to die,
You're playing on my mind, a hundred and one times a day, you're my thoughts,
My life, my all, baby girl you're my oxygen and if you're gone, my life will surely fail

Because I can't sleep when you're not by my side,
I can't think when we're so far apart, I can't focus my mind,
On anything but you, because you're my all

I can't breath when you're not around, you're my oxygen,
And I'm addicted to you

My oxygen's you and without you, I will surely die
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
January 12th, 2009 at 10:04am
teach me how to breath because i feel so small,
teach me how to grow my wings as i'm so fragile,
teach me how to fly high up into the sky, i want to be with you,

ohh, looking out the window, staring up at the stars,
i'll always be thinking of you, we'll be together one day,
and noone can part us from heaven up with the stars.

i won't fucking cry, not for you - won't you oh cry for me?
because i'm lying on the stained floor, bleeding; dying for you.
i can touch the sky, i can fly, i've got my wings.

now i wish you could hold me, oh how i wish that we didn't stray,
how'd we let it all fall apart? it was all such a blurr.
the fights and the pain; heartache, wasn't there a time you promised,
you'd never let me fall, you'd never hurt me in any sized way?
oh what an awful little lie; you fucking liar; look at my wrists,
they're your mess.

oh baby, so won't you teach me how to fly, how to cry, how to smile,
baby i want to grow wings just like you; a golden halo above my head,
darling don't you get it; i'm as good as dead.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
January 14th, 2009 at 11:57am
:: A Chemical Poem ::

Someone once knew how it felt to be outkasted;
to be spat at and looked down upon.
To know how it feels, to be misunderstood and to feel hurt;
and now they stand tall, making a difference in their words.

A band that saves lives; from the likes of you and I.
They told us it's okay to not be okay, and they said
that vampires would never hurt us.

They taught us to sing and carry on through our fears,
the disappointed faces of our peers; we saw The Ghost of You,
and had the Black Parade meet us at Heaven's gate.

We carried on to the end, and faced the death of Helena.
They said that they missed us more than they did yesturday,
and we stood tall like Our Lady of Sorrows.

They told us the Jetset life would kill us,
and would you stay right here, if they told you,
that someone out there loves you afterall?