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She, The Souless Warrior, of Vast Suicidal Thoughts.

AuthorMessage
Person0001
Always Born a Crime
Person0001
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 5099
January 16th, 2009 at 12:16pm
I adore "Calling Out" and "Liquor," Lora Smile
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
February 14th, 2009 at 05:31pm
>>- A Broken Smile -<<

Hiding behind a broken smile, pain lures deep within,
a heartbroken girl, with an angel face, and that,
face was ruined with streaks of bloodstained tears,
that she releases every time she cries.

Oh, what a meaningless life it seems to be,
every little thing she tries to perfect;
her life is slowly washing away,
she doesn't remember, who she really is.

Staring at the mirror in vain, she's pale and unwell,
her fingers run along her arms; marking the tracing of her scars,
every single one holds her memories - each painful task.

And how she falls to the floor, nobody notices,
nobody realizes, they've killed her deep inside,
her inner soul's gone, demolished into flames,
and as she watches her life end in peril,
she realizes just how worthless and insignificant,
everything that life held it all was.

Such a tragic little thing, setting herself on fire,
and jumping through the top floor window;
as she fell with flames, she landed in hell,
her funeral was as lonely as her feelings were.

Hiding behind a broken smile, pain lures deep within,
a heartbroken girl, with an angel face, and that,
face was ruined with streaks of bloodstained tears,
that she releases every time she cries.

Blood was her only friend and it killed her in the end.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
February 14th, 2009 at 05:43pm
>>- Story To Life -<<

Is there any purpose to life?
Everything's horrible and unfair.
Is it meant to be such a hurtful bitch?
Or I'm clearly not with it.

There's thousands of fucked up problems in this world,
Will we ever see something called "World Peace"?
It all seems to be such a waste of time; to hold onto hope.

Is there any purpose to shedding salty tears?
If life is supposed to be a good thing, why are we
Filled with so much pain and fear?

Everybody's a someone, yet there's so much selfishness and hate.
Why can't people be accepting of whom people are?
Race, sex and appearance is something that shouldn't matter.
They're just like you and I, I disagree with being hateful.

Is there any purpose to feeling like giving it all away?
If there's such a thing called happiness, why can't we,
Be whoever we desire to be?
Happiness is a thing of the past, when you live in a world filled with violence and hate.
Your Ghost.
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Your Ghost.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 440
February 16th, 2009 at 08:54pm
Your poems are fantastic, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise! Very Happy Marvelous jobb.
MyChemicalGreenDay
Killjoy
MyChemicalGreenDay
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 3
February 17th, 2009 at 12:27pm
They are amazing! My poems are nothing next to yours. You could make a serious career out of that. Some would make very good song lyrics. If you don't mind I would like to try and put them to music so me and my friends who have a sort of band (very small, still in the basement stage!) could try them. Would that be okay? I doubt we will manage them but if its okay with you and I get time to write some stuff I will let you know!
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
February 17th, 2009 at 04:46pm
>>- I Can't Be Myself -<<

Why can't I be whoever I want to be,
Without you grumbling at me for being,
Who I am?

Do you love to hate me,
Is it because I'm not the darling little daughter,
That you've always wanted to mold me into?

Is it because I don't wear miniskirts and act like a total slut,
Because I adore skinny jeans and heavy black makeup,
Or that I love to keep my pants on?

"Dysfunctional" is the word that suits our family,
Why can't you see that all these fights is breaking my heart?
All this screaming and hating, I just can't take it anymore.

If you ever knew my sexual orientation, you would string me up,
And hang me till I choked my last breath, because you can't bear,
Your imperfect, silly little girl to be something that you don't,
Want me to be.

Why can't I be whoever I want to be,
Without you grumbling at me for being,
Who I am?
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
March 12th, 2009 at 06:58am
Addicted2GerardWay:
Your poems are fantastic, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise! Very Happy Marvelous jobb.
Thankyou so much In Love
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
March 12th, 2009 at 11:27am
>: Weather Knows Me By Heart :<

Violet leaves are falling,
from the dead flowers,
as the bitter cold's rolling in,
the crisp, fresh air is blowing;
and my tears are like ice droplets,
falling from the sky.

The sorrow stays hidden, as the nights pull,
in so early, the darkness it floods me,
it makes me realise how cold,
this world can be towards people, like me.

Life is a matter of love and death;
our memories defeat the present,
things I didn't want to remember,
things I didn't need to know.

The sky's grey and clouded;
just like my heart,
it knows what it feels like,
to be sad and alone.

And whilst the rain's falling,
my hope's fading, it's dying,
deep inside, I'm crying,
I want you to know; I had loved you all along.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
March 12th, 2009 at 11:38am
>: I Will Always Stand Up Tall. :<

If only I could remember,
how a smile could exist,
feels like I've fallen,
past mistakes are here,
to haunt me.

I honestly thought you knew,
all summer long, I was drinking,
to nearly dying in the October sun,
from a speeding car;
it was my final suicidal attempt,
because my life flashed before my eyes,
and I had realised, I didn't want to die.

Standing around the streets,
watching people pull out their guns,
attack some innocent person,
and make us all out to be the one;
what has this crazy mixed up world come too?

I can vaguely remember days,
when I could run free;
let my imagination take me for a ride,
to escape all the rioting, that was daily,
in my little house.

I felt my heart breaking,
what else could I've done?
it was all such a blur, mixed up emotions,
as my head stirred.

Now as I sit here, letting tears,
cascade silently down my cheeks,
I'll think of the good and bad times,
hold my head up high, and tell myself,
as well as the rest of the world,
I will always stand up tall.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
March 15th, 2009 at 08:04am
>: Broken Down, Hurt :<

The darkness of my past,
it keeps creeping up beside me,
like a Grim Reaper, late at night,
I want to know where my smile has gone,
the only thing is my tears; just like a downpour.

I would like to put every broken memory,
into detail and share them with the world,
in order to give them some form of hope,
you're not alone, in this world;
we're never, never, alone.

What else can you believe,
when there's only dead hope,
and you can't seem to feel alive,
it's like you've died inside,
and I can't find out why.

Quitting through lack of hope and trust;
there's always a shining ray of faith,
if only you'd look hard enough.

I want to share all my broken memories,
in such fine detail, with the world,
to let them know that they're not the only,
who are broken down and hurt.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
April 5th, 2009 at 12:50pm
>>: Reunion :<<

Sitting alone in the dark, deserted corridor,
takes me back, into the depth of my past;
where I felt stranded and trapped, swimming in hate.
Choking back on tears, feels as if I've lost my ground,
do you know what it feels like, when someone will never look past
your scarred wrists and laugh in your face?

Rejected by people who were supposed to love you,
doesn't get any better, if anything, you drown and drown further,
nothing can bring you back up to the surface; love is non-existent in
every fucking aspect of your life and you feel as if, you're choking on their
poisonous venom and you're spitting out their blood-filled lies.

Sinking down onto the bathroom floor; locked inside without a key,
you're hugging your knees and telling yourself, it's all gonna be okay,
but when you're back to thinking to reality, you're unsure if you'll ever,
be anything more than the lies they constantly speak.

Being told you're gonna be a waster for the rest of your days,
doesn't give you any more of a reason to keep on living;
slamming doors and screaming till your lungs are sore,
you just need to find a way to escape, every little word
that cuts you deep like a fucking knife!

Twisting and turning, with no place to go,
shut in your bedroom, with the boombox on full,
feels like you can finally let yourself go, letting the music
sweep over you and make you feel like you're your old self once again.

It's a reunion with your old self, back to being the kid,
who was never afraid to walk alone and to wear thick black eyeliner,
to never be afraid to cry in fucking public places,
and from the kid who always wore a smile.
That kid is still my old self who I felt, I lost a long, long time ago.
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
April 6th, 2009 at 02:14pm
Wow.
I just sat and read all of these, and...well...wow lol They're brilliant. Very touching. Some of them made me want to give you a big hug hug
I could relate to a lot of them as well, particularly "Angels" and "I Can't Be Me".
Well done. Wow.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
April 7th, 2009 at 08:13pm
Just Steph...:
Wow.
I just sat and read all of these, and...well...wow lol They're brilliant. Very touching. Some of them made me want to give you a big hug hug
I could relate to a lot of them as well, particularly "Angels" and "I Can't Be Me".
Well done. Wow.
Shocked
you have just made my evening In Love In Love

thank you so much; it's people like you that keep me wanting to write :'D
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
April 8th, 2009 at 06:55am
>>>- Hazel Eyes -<<<

Standing alone, I won't admit defeat,
Walking down an empty corridor, still feels like the first day of my life,
And as I turn around that filthy corner, to my surprise,
For once I find someone actually stood, in my filthy little lie,
And as I wander over to this person, pondering slightly,
What could possibly happen, if I raised my small voice to gain attention,
But I didn't have to speak, they turned and had their full attention on me,
And when I looked into those hazel eyes, for one milliesecond in my life,
I knew I would be okay even if I was alone.
Just Steph...
Motor Baby
Just Steph...
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 909
April 8th, 2009 at 07:00am
Love it <3
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
April 8th, 2009 at 07:19am
>>>- Broken Black Little Heart -<<<

Running away, trying to break free,
Nothing can stop me, so I have to keep saying myself,
As I pick myself up off the floor, I weap tearfully as the blood runs,
Down my scar-patched arms, lacing together my mixture,
Of burning hatred and pain, as I'm trying to run from you,
'Cause I can't escape the truth, which is pounding inside my head,
No matter how much I will try, you'll never want,
Someone like me for a daughter, as I'm a mess,
With a broken black little heart, lying on the floor,
Just crying out for some acceptance from someone,
Who rejectedly doesn't love me.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
April 8th, 2009 at 09:30am
>>>- Cutter's Tale -<<<

Tying up little knots in shoelaces,
desperately trying to avoid the knife,
smacking the bedroom walls, and slamming the doors,
running away, hiding in your closest,
blackstained tears, falling down your pale cheeks,
talking to your posters in your bedroom alone,
cause they're the only people who will listen to a word you want to say.

When are you gonna realise?

I'm done with saying I am sorry,
you disgusting little witch.
I'm done with saying I care,
you lied all the way through.
I'm done with worrying about you,
you mean nothing to me.
I'm done with even thinking about you,
cause you ain't worth one second of my time.

I'm finished with trusting a single soul,
best kept to yourself, or better off dead,
it's all ringing out tragedy, cause you're a failure
in every part of your life; and now willingly ready,
to press the self-destruct button.

What you gonna do, what you gonna say?
Still feels like you're in the past,
trying to escape patterned-lies and torn clothes,
looking away ashamed, with the bloody knife clasped,
tightly in your bleeding hands, and whilst your hands are bleeding,
the veins in your wrists are leaking...
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
April 8th, 2009 at 09:38am
MyChemicalGreenDay:
They are amazing! My poems are nothing next to yours. You could make a serious career out of that. Some would make very good song lyrics. If you don't mind I would like to try and put them to music so me and my friends who have a sort of band (very small, still in the basement stage!) could try them. Would that be okay? I doubt we will manage them but if its okay with you and I get time to write some stuff I will let you know!
holyfuckingshit! I am SO sorry I didn't get back to you Cheese I didn't even see your reply till just now. Shit, I am so sorry!

And hey, you're more than welcome to use my stuff. I don't honestly mind, as long as I get credited and the lyrics stay untouched, I'm pretty damned cool with it all (:

thanks for your reply and I am so sorry it took me forever to reply back Cheese *mentally slaps self*
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
April 9th, 2009 at 08:22pm
One Sad Song;

Staring at the four walls,
they're slowly closing you in,
suffocating you, trapping you,
in deep miserable thought.

Realising the suffocation only,
takes you further down,
as you attempt to scurry away,
she's taking you alive,
more and more,
every single time you draw a breath.

You're burying your broken thoughts alive,
not wanting to speak, to think,
to feel any longer; attempting to,
numb your feelings, your pain,
the guilt's written on her face,
and the vodka and knife's clasped,
tightly in her hands.
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
April 11th, 2009 at 05:02am
Faker's Love;

Sat in the dark, slightly dimmed and confused,
Trying to make out if those words are true,
Or if you've lied to me, yet again,
Isn't it harsh when you get a reality check,
'Cause I just figured out you're as fake, as the next.

And I won't wait around for you,
To screw me over again, and feed me pointless bullshit,
You're as good as dead to me.

Love has no boundaries, no restrictions,
Just proves to me, how untrue,
You are to a person called me.