Paper_Eclipse's Poetry

In the slight, say hello.

In the presence of all low,
delicate corpse on the floor
A Falter of infestation


In lost modified indentations
can feel the slowness of
darkened imaginations


The guilt of horrid
Visions
Like acid rain through an
Adoration.

Seeing illness in a façade of no adaptation

Thru the intense
Passiveness
Of gore

Like fanatic

BLACK METAL!!!!!

I'm not done with it yet... I think its sucks any suggestions?

eh... I'm not an expert but i don't think this part makes any sense...

"Thru the intense
Passiveness
Of gore

Like fanatic

BLACK METAL!!!!!"

and the last part probably isn't in the poem?
but like you said it's not done

and this...

"The guilt of horrid
Visions
Like acid rain through a
Adoration."

i think you'd change the 'a' to 'an'
constructive criticism

Yeah i forgot the a to an an thing was just a mistake I'll have to fix it thanks for pointing it out and the last part was kinda a hyper outburst
oh and the
"The guilt of horrid
Visions
Like acid rain through a
Adoration." part
I will try to explain, Acid rain through an adoration is an explanation of the feeling of guilt. The meaning of acid rain is well polluted air basically, and adoration i forget know.. yeah this is going nowhere... You kinda need a dictionary in hand to understand this poem. So with these words I'm saying guilt gets in the way and alters situations. Yeah i doubt that makes any sense but I'm really tired.....

oh well i understand that part XD
but i bet it could be really awesome!
just keep working on it

Thanks!