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The lost graveyard of the souls forgotten long ago. poems by Pansy Wayero (changed name)

AuthorMessage
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
July 10th, 2008 at 03:08pm
all my poems i have written. they are not in any order but i will say that the newest ones will be posted at the end. i will warn you that i have renamed the poems. well some of them.

contents
poem 1: i paid for my sanity with my blood
poem 2: Nothing is forgotten if you remember it
poem 3: A depressed persons to do list (first poem i ever posted on here)
poem 4: 'O' piteous hate
poem 5: its all between death and love
poem 6: Suicide is hard to understand
poem 7: I am my own soldier, mother,
poem 8: You created the monster in me
poem 9: The beast within says run momma
poem 10: Same old brand new you
poem 11: I'm cutting the ties of our relationship
poem 12: The fallen angel of hell
Poem 13: Cigarettes and alcohol.
Poem 14: Thats not fair.
poem 15: 'O' Piteous hate.
poem 16: TRAPPED
poem 17: The day you died I died inside.
poem 1: Today she doesn't exist
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
July 10th, 2008 at 03:09pm
please be constructive with any any negative comments as it took a lot for me to post this on here. which title do you all like? i can't decide between freedom comes with the highest price or i paid for my sanity with my blood. can you think of any other titles?

i mean it it took a lot for me to type this on here so please be nice!

* puts on brave face and starts to type*


freedom comes with the highest price/i paid for my sanity with my blood

i once was a nice child
so innocent and kind
i was polite and friendly
the nicest girl you'd ever find

I'd clean up my room
and put all my toys away
I'd smile and be ecstatic
when grandma came to play

when mother came home
I'd give her a kiss
make her a cup of tea
and tell her she was missed

everything was brilliant
life was so great
until mother brought home a boyfriend
someone I'd grow to hate

u see he was friendly towards me
gave me gifts as well
but when no one was around
he made my life hell

now for the sake of my dignity
i will not say what he did to me
lets just say he caused me pain
and eventually almost drove me insane

so now to ease the terrible pain
i pick up my knife and slit open a vein
i bandage my wounds and lick up the blood
i know i shouldn't cut myself but the pain makes me feel good

and i know blood is a high price to pay
just to take my pain away
but at least when i watch my my life drain away from me
i can heal myself for today and keep hold of my sanity

until the next day comes
and I'm left all alone
crying on the floor
in the place i call home

coz i lost the battle
i was trying to win
my demons beat me
so i gave in

and tomorrow mom when you get out of bed
thinking I'm asleep, sweet dreams filling my head.
you'll see blood on the sink and blood on the door
and me lying dead on the bathroom floor

And there will no suicide note to explain the reason why
I really felt like I had to die
although written on the wall and the mirror too
will be ' I'm a human not a zombie and i don't love you'
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
July 10th, 2008 at 03:13pm
Nothing is forgetton if you remember it

She types up her poems in the hope that somebody cares,
but she gets so upset when she sees no comments there.
She wants to know whether her poems mean something,
in a world where her heart feels nothing.

I'm not sure yet whether her poems are pleas,
that shout out to the world 'come save me.'
or whether they are just a release from pain,
a way of keeping her from going insane.

What I am sure of is that she,
likes to get comments on her poetry.
it makes her sad that she has poems with no replys,
so please help me wipe the tears from her eyes.

Please know I wrote this poem for her as a way to say,
it doesnt matter if your poems dont get comments today.
It doesnt mean that they have been forgotten,
so you dont need to feel rotten.

I told her to put away the poems with no replys,
maybe you'll get comments next time.
Just focus on writing some more poetry,
and who knows you could get comments possibly.

Now to you the reader i'll give you a task,
its not a very big thing to ask.
Help me please give her a smile,
by commenting on her poems if you dont think their vile.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok so the whole idea of this poem was experimentation. i wanted to know if i could write a poem on not getting comments on my poems. and i managed to. what i want to know is what do people feel like when they dont get comments on their poems at all? oh and im not quite sure why i wrote it in the 2nd person when the poems relates to me, just a random thing to do.
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
July 10th, 2008 at 03:27pm
A depressed persons to do list

Load a gun,
Cock it back,
Go get drunk,
then dress in black.

Write a note
to say goodbye,
then shoot myself,
between the eyes.
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
July 10th, 2008 at 03:36pm
i'll post more up wen i find them
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
July 10th, 2008 at 04:09pm
i will at some point add some of my newer poems.
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 5th, 2008 at 04:34pm
its all between death and love

im the daughter of rage and love
scorned at by the angels above
cast aside filled with broken dreams
in a life thats not what it seems.

theres so many familiar places
and so many familiar faces
all here to keep me sane
and to hide me from pain.

so many people i want to say thanks to
and so many people i want to shoot
so i will give a rose to all my friends
and to my enemies death i will send.

this poem was written on boxing day 2007. i want to thank my friend kirsty for the title and greenday for creating the song jesus of suburbia which helped me think of the first line. tell me what you think. my favourite lines are the last two lines:

' so i will give a rose to my friends
and to all my enemies death i will send.'

anyone agree with me?
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 5th, 2008 at 04:46pm
suicide is so hard to understand

why did you die?
why did you make me cry?
why is your blood splattered on the wall?
why wont you hear me when i call?

my last breath was taken from me
yet it was you who was the one who died
you were a part of my destiny
your heart and mine were entwined.

you were my life
you and me were one
I'm broken and defeated
now that your gone.

i will never understand your suicide
as i stand in the bathroom where you died
and when i said I'm okay i know i lied
and this I'll prove as i take this cyanide.
MyChemicalBlack
Salute You in Your Grave
MyChemicalBlack
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2351
August 5th, 2008 at 11:14pm
My, my...*rubs hands together* ^_^
Oddly, I really liked the "depressed person's to-do list" poem. (short but kickass)

I also like "suicide is so hard to understand", it overflowed with emotion.
At least to me. lmao. xD

I like 'em all, mon amie.
Well done. Smiley
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 8th, 2008 at 01:45pm
MyChemicalBlack:
My, my...*rubs hands together* ^_^
Oddly, I really liked the "depressed person's to-do list" poem. (short but kickass)

I also like "suicide is so hard to understand", it overflowed with emotion.
At least to me. lmao. xD

I like 'em all, mon amie.
Well done. Smiley
arr fanks. these are just sum of my old poems still posting them all up. i reallly like a depressed persons 2 do list it was the first poem i wrote that i posted on INO. i love suicide is hard to understand so emotional! im usin it in a story soon if i can think of the plot. its nice 2 no 1 of my fave poets likes my work
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 9th, 2008 at 06:42am
wow, you're poetry's awesome
i like them ^.^
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 10th, 2008 at 02:09pm
yaaay! nice 2 no people like my poems
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 10th, 2008 at 02:25pm
I am my own soldier, mother.

I am not a soldier
That will fight in your wars
I have enough scars,
I don’t need anymore.

So you can call me a f**king coward
And condemn me to hell
But remember that soon
The tale of your demise I’ll tell.

A soldier needs to fight their own wars
Whether that means losing their soul
I have to battle my own problems
And fight my war against cigarettes and alcohol ….
Oh and YOU.

'Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading, So sick and tired of all the needless beating'
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 10th, 2008 at 03:15pm
You Created the monster in me

I am nothing to you,
coz thats what you've made me.
I'm drowning in your hate,
why wont you save me?

Please all I want is your love,
I wont ask for more.
Please don't leave me here broken,
dying on the bathroom floor.

You wont look into my eyes,
not when you're talking to me.
Why wont you look into my face?
Are you scared of what you'll see?

I am just a monster to you,
in your eyes I am dead.
So I think I'm doing you a favor,
when I shoot myself in the head.
Day Of The Dead
Salute You in Your Grave
Day Of The Dead
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 4772
August 10th, 2008 at 03:25pm
Heys!!

I love your peoms! They are really powerful and full of emotion..love it!!
I especially like You created the monster in me. It's really good.

Keep 'em comming!!
Bibi xoxo
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 10th, 2008 at 05:09pm
i will. fanks a lot Smile just postin my old ones up b4 i start writin new 1s on here
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 11th, 2008 at 04:25pm
one of my personal faves

The beast me within says run momma

Please save yourself from me.
Run away before my hate consumes me,
and I lash out like the beast I am
and drag to hell as many people as I can.

Please run before my burning rage,
sets me free from your cage
and I wreak my vengeance on you for all the lies
until all you can do is die inside.

All my emotions, my hope, my integrity
All these things you took from me.
So run run as fast as you can,
coz momma I have a gun in my hand.

And I know I owe you nothing especially not mercy,
but i'm only telling you to run to save me.
So I can go to the bright lights of heaven, sweet and pure,
and as you will be in hell I wont see you any more.
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 13th, 2008 at 03:08pm
Same Old Brand New You

I see you in the corner crying all alone,
begging and pleading with me to come home.
Telling me you've missed me and that things have changed,
and that you'll never touch alcohol again.

Although you swear you've changed I know you're telling lies,
you should learn to hide the evidnce better next time.
Because I can see empty whiskey botles on the floor,
and vomit on your shirt as well as a vomit stain by the door.

The ties to our relationship you've just managed to sever,
because you've not changed you've lost me forever.
So now as I walk away from you and everything that went wrong,
all I can do is sing this part of a good song:

'And you can cry all you want to I don't care how much you'll invest yourself in me
We're not working out'

I challenged myself to write a poem that fits perfectly around a quote from a MCR song, Did I do well? Oh and I nicked the title off an old boyband song I used to hear all the time. Erm I'm fiinkin of writin an extended version of this poem so watch this space!
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 13th, 2008 at 03:32pm
I'm Cutting The Ties of Our Relationship

It’s a Saturday night and yet again,
you walk in and act the same.
Coz you’ve been drinking as I can tell,
I'm surprised you’re not locked in a police cell.

Good old Jack other people say,
he’s the life of the party every single day.
He can drink us all to the floor,
I wish they could see you when you walk through the door.

Every day you get mad because we’ve got no whiskey,
then you start to take it out on me.
You never really seem to care,
that you’re a drunk and you’re asleep on the stairs.

I try so hard to help you bed,
and my reward is for you to punch me in the head.
So tonight once you’ve lay down to rest,
I’ll just go kill myself, its for the best.

And the next day when you’re more sober,
And go to the bathroom to fight your hangover.
You’ll see my body on the bathroom floor,
I’ve got about 10 minutes to live and then I'm no more.

You’ll hold me so close as I lie down to die,
'Please don't leave me' you’ll say as you start to cry.
I promise i'll change, I wont ever hurt you again,
my reply? 'its too late now, you caused me pain.'

So now as I draw my last breath,
and start to wonder if there’s life after death.
I look for one last time at your face.
and with my last words I’ll say you’re a disgrace.

The title ( well to be accurate the word cutting in the title) has a double meaning. The first is that the lady in the poem (I've named her kate) is killing herself to escape the violent relationship and two she cut her wrists to die. (obviously)
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
August 13th, 2008 at 03:38pm
The Fallen Angel of Hell

She's sitting on her blood splattered throne,
with her halo slipping from her face.
Crying here all alone,
her whole body frozen in place.

Her black wings are all bent and broke,
her heart is a block of ice.
And she can only choke,
everytime she tries to say something nice.

You could say shes cruel,
a tainted image of divinity.
But I can only class you as a fool,
coz I can see more than you see.

Behind the crown, behind your fears,
behind the mask of this angel all alone.
I see an angel about to burst into tears,
coz all she wants to do is go home.

But she cant. Coz she'll never be accepted there.


i just thought i'd write about a fallen angel who everyone thinks is evil but in fact is a good angel gone slightly wrong and now all she wants to do is go back to heaven and prove she is a good person really who just needs some love. I have changed it slightly. This poem was written around my feelings towards my mom.Its one of my personal faves.