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Truly UglyAsSin

AuthorMessage
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
July 24th, 2008 at 09:30am
Poem 1:The rising of the outcasts-will you believe?
Poem 2: Eversearching
Poem 3: Dear Mr oblivious Man
Poem 4: How did this become?
Poem 5: Alone with you in our chemistry room
Poem 6: A poem to say i'm sorry
Poem 7: The last wish

1. The rising of the outcasts-will you believe?

Together lets remember the scene
a scene i will never forget even as i dream
noise, fire, clouds of dust
doomsday descended everywhere turned to dusk
voices whisper are we going to die
a boy in the corner begins to cry
out the window that should have been there
bodies are falling silently to the ground thats bare
the boy bows his head and prays for their resurrection
there's nothing now to provide protection
it was out of this adversity this and 4 other boys came together
bonded by their inner hatred forever
as one they provided the truth of life
full of ups and downs and trouble and strife
dissatisfied with where their lives were going
the outcast were to be their following
some have their doubts, quel suprise
despite what you think, no teenage death cult are these
emo and screamo, these labels are so wrong
just shut up be quiet and hold your tongue!
don't mock what you don't understand
me? i will take their outstretched hand
they provided me with a reason to live
for this i am grateful and have everything to give
MCR saves lives it is true
and if you believe, someday they will save you
it saved the boy twice in hours of need
the boy grew to be a man who has been freed
MCR saves lives it is true
if you believe, one day they will save you.
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
July 24th, 2008 at 02:42pm
2. Eversearching

I originally wrote this for one of my art projects, it just kind of flowed into my brain. Well here goes:

As my imagination began to run free
i saw a vision of you and me
a beautiful sunset in the distance
but from you i was feeling a kind of resistance
your hand i went to take
but the bond you wanted to break
in your water filled eyes i looked
and immediately i was hooked
as i looked i realised you were staring back at me
searching for some sort of beauty
you turned your back and were ready to run
you couldn't find the beauty and saw it would never come
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
July 24th, 2008 at 02:48pm
3. Dear Mr Oblivious Man

I don't know if anyone will want to read this...this one means quite a lot to me...here goes...

Dear Mr Oblivious Man
my secret is tumbling out, beginning with how this began
it started with notions of self destruction
you were to be my resurrection
i long to know your true thoughts about me
an inscription on your heart must tell thee
unable to express my thoughts, i may as well be dead
the symptoms of you i can experience with no drug
my confusion mounts as to whether this can be called love
does it matter? seeing as you will never realise
i will never be the girl you idealize
i hope my memories will never fade
even if i have to remain in the shade
keeping this secret within my grenade
Your the Oblivious Man
Now you know how it began.
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
July 24th, 2008 at 02:50pm
4. How did this become?

How on earth did this become?
is it because of me or was it my mum...
whatever was the reason
i have now acquired this demon
a demon of self loathing
within me i can hear its moaning
''Go on'' it jeers, ''no need to be scared''
Just take a knife towards the fat and tear
Then you will be as pure as air
Run your hands over the curves that used to be shoddy
as i begin to get lost in this state of mind
the urges i have begin to grind

Into the bottom of a toilet i stare
knowing that my peers do not care
the retched feeling within my throat
'the thinner the winner' becomes my quote
small rituals begin to fill up my time
it feels like this could be a pantomime
the me i used to know is dead and gone
and now i wait like a ticking time bomb

How on earth did i become so very wrong?

------------------------------------------------------------------
it feels good to let these feelings out though it was written a bit ago.
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
July 24th, 2008 at 02:53pm
5. Alone with you in our chemistry room

This was about getting this down into a comprehensible/coherent format so i can make sense of it. This is very clos eto my heart:

Alone with you in our chemistry room
my heart willed me to be laid inside the tomb
my heart keeping up the pretense that i am fine
my inner voice is clear, i can hear it whine
my self worth tattered and shredded
the words you spoke were unprecedented
my focus moved away from the lesson and the aimless worksheet
to the movement of your hands as our eyes lock in greet
the words you speak cause my temperature to raise
the view of the teacher and his experiment becomes a haze
my heart pounds at the sound of your voice
i can't help these feelings, i had no choice
nothing else matters for a tiny moment of my world
for a moment my heart performed a dance an twirled
until the revelation of what i heard you say sinks in to my skull
my sleeves where what you to coaxed me to pull...
up, as you mime a person slashing their wrist
my response: why? Is there something i have missed?
you repeat those haunting words again
pull up your sleeve and show me them!
a change in the rhythm of my heart
my chest feels tight, like its tearing apart
As you mime a person slashing their wrist
i realise somehow you have noticed
i turn away and my eyes well up
i'm sure you're staring but i daren't look up
i long for a rest inside that tomb
these feelings return as i picture that scene in the chemistry
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
July 24th, 2008 at 02:58pm
6. A poem to say i’m sorry

You and me are both lost in self destruction
The difference between you and me
Is that you have every reason to be
You tell me that your rather upset
These words ring in my ears, they are hard to forget
I feel its my purpose to support you
Help you see your reason to live, i want to get you through
Because of the things you have had to endure
Your status as strong and amazing is secure
I can only apologise for what i said
It is now me who wishes they were dead
II always say or do the wrong thing
I shouldn’t get close is what i'm learning
The words i can not take away
I'm sorry is all i can say
Stay alive and be happy is all i pray!

I havn’t posted a poem for a while or in fact commented on others poems for a while which i apologise for, there are so many people on here that have a great way with words, so don’t be disheartened if not many comment or people take a while to comment. it doesn’t mean that your work is not good.

Thanks if you have taken the time to read this, i hope it wasnt a waste of time that you wish you could have back lol.
All the best xx
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
July 24th, 2008 at 03:11pm
7. The last wish:

Do you ever feel lonely and cold?
Like you just want someone to hold
A voice that truly understands you
Whose eyes are deep and true
Do you ever feel the need to make a certain part of you bleed
because you feel so desperate and sad?
Your mother may tell you it is only a phad
But you know you can not stop
Until into someone’s arms you drop
Until the warmth of a body you feel
Your hand in theirs would help you heal
Have you ever just wanted to die?
Even then no one would cry
Because I was always alone
No one would have needed ever known
Molko. Killjoy.
Motor Baby
Molko. Killjoy.
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 814
August 9th, 2008 at 07:40pm
i really liked them all...
especially the last 2...
i can closely relate...
xxx
I.wish.i.wer.a.ghost
Motor Baby
I.wish.i.wer.a.ghost
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 940
August 10th, 2008 at 04:01am
woah! i really like them all...the first one was awesome and number 4 were probly my faves =]
Helena Rush.
Awake and Unafraid
Helena Rush.
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 10158
August 10th, 2008 at 07:49am
wow...they're all amazing
great job!
keep it up. theres just no words to describe them.
the chemistry poem was my fave one of all <3
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
August 10th, 2008 at 04:14pm
Thankyou so much to all of you for your kind comments. It really means alot that you all took the time to read and comment and that you liked what you read. So thankyou very much i will fly...,I.wish.i.wer.a.ghost. and lonelyInsecurity xx
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
December 21st, 2008 at 11:56am
So I can't even remember the last time that I was on here, It has been a long time. So here is the latest poem I have written. Not sure if it is worthy of being put on here but...will put it on anyway.

when I look at myself I only see,
the unsightly parts that make up me.
I reach for a blade with my outstretched hand.
'are you ok' that pointless question asked,
when truly the point of caring you long surpassed.
Even if you cared I'd say I am fine,
no more do I think before saying this line.
Though I think you know I lied,
I may never be allowed to fully confide...
...Unless the paper on which I write you read,
My lips wired shut, these thoughts shall never be freed.

I hope that everyone is ok and that you have a good christmas.
If you have read this,thank you for your time.

Ash xx
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
December 21st, 2008 at 12:06pm
MyChemicalBlack
Salute You in Your Grave
MyChemicalBlack
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2351
December 22nd, 2008 at 11:01pm
My, my, how did I miss this thread? xD
I enjoy reading your poetry, keep writing 'tis very great. Smiley
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
December 23rd, 2008 at 12:29pm
Thank you so much loratard way for your lovely comments. They made my day. Thank you also MyChemicalBlack, coming from you, the poetic master, it means alot. Thankyou. xx
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
December 23rd, 2008 at 01:05pm
This one is one from around 4 years ago for an english task. This poem has some of , i think the best lines i have written. but feel free if you are reading this to make any kind of comment, if the mood so takes you.

8. 'Dulce Et Decorum Est...'?

The soldiers were out all night
In no mans land ready to fight
They struggled through the mud
But on they went for as long as they could
Some of them swearing,
exhausted and coughing
but somehow they manage to carry on struggling
some of the men almost falling asleep
just wanting to collapse in to a heap
finally we stop and begin turning round
nobody stirring or making a sound

just as our eyelids are ready to close
we see german lights and on the war goes
the german trenches were all we could see
no one knew this was how it would be
the men looked as if they were dying of exhaustion
falling asleep while their legs are in motion
some of the men getting stuck in the mud
eventually managing to carry on forward
but some have lost their essential boots
their feet turning bloody and gangrenous
the men are so tired they do not hear
the gas shells falling somewhere near
but dont worry its ok
they are only dud shells,
aren't they?

Suddenly I realise i have reason to worry
the gas shells are real and we are all in a hurry
I scream to the men to get their gas masks on
all manage exept just one.
To my horror i saw him breathe the poisonous air

He looked at me as if i didnt care

With the straps on his mask he was fumbling
I hope he makes it was all i was hoping.
Eventually he slumped down to the ground
and writhed in agony trying to make a sound
in his lungs the chlorine he had breathed in
was burning him from within
through the visor of his mask I saw
in my horror stricken fascination my heart tore
as i continued to watch i saw his mass
begin to disappear under waves of gas...

...even now years later i see
the boy staring back at me
as he chokes on the poisonous air
still looking at me like i didn't care
every night i have this dream
it's going to haunt me it would seem
a middle aged man who has never seen
the trenches would not know what i mean
my heart began to race
when i saw his young dying face
to see him die in such a terrifying way
it is no way to die today

if you had experienced what i had seen
you would know just what i mean
with this phrase you would not agree
dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.

Thankyou if you have taken the time to read this. wishing you all the best xx
MyChemicalBlack
Salute You in Your Grave
MyChemicalBlack
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2351
December 23rd, 2008 at 11:08pm
...even now years later i see
the boy staring back at me
as he chokes on the poisonous air
still looking at me like i didn't care


Woo, loved that part.
Honestly, I have no horrible crit.
Well done, the imagery was awesome. Smiley

Out of curiousity, what does the title say (translate to)?
UglyAsSin
Jazz Hands
UglyAsSin
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 283
December 24th, 2008 at 08:43am
It is used in one of Wilfred Owen's poems regarding the war and means 'it is sweet and right to die for your country' In fact until you asked me that i had forgotten as it was some years ago. Thankyou so much for your kind and amazing comments xx
MyChemicalBlack
Salute You in Your Grave
MyChemicalBlack
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2351
December 24th, 2008 at 01:33pm
Ah, well, that's a wicked title.
Thanks for sharing. ^_^
TeamEdward
Fabulous Killjoy
TeamEdward
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 125
January 5th, 2009 at 04:11pm
Wow your poems are so easy to relate to and they are so easy to understand and get emotional about x.
Hope there will be more x