Don't have an account? Create one!

words are beautiful xx

AuthorMessage
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 2nd, 2008 at 02:20am
-----------------------------------------------------welcome to my heart.
---------------------------------------- i’ll build it up slowly. <3
-----------------------------------------------------so let me know what you think.

Remember - an ode to the cyclic heart break and the foolishness of love, my dears.
Buckets Filled With Stars - a tale of the naïvety of love everlasting love.
False Starts and Mislead Hearts - how wonderfully uncertain loving one person can be!
False Start's... Falst Start - the edgier second version of this devastating love.
Happy Birthday, Dad - because my pain was enough that I could no longer "celebrate" such a monstrous day.
Slowly - because life is too quick.
I Wonder, Could You Ever Understand? - best enemies forever xx
Forever Fever
(My) Summer Storm
Cry, Baby
Sometimes
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 2nd, 2008 at 02:22am
“Remember”
By Kate, April 1st 2007.

Look up into my eyes and tell me,
Is it me that you despise?
Or all of the lies that you have told over the years?
Let me remind you.

Press your lips against my neck and whisper
As I wonder if it’s all worth the pain,
What was the line you would always use?
‘I will love you until the end of time’.
A lie,
So let me remind you.

While the truth lays just out of reach,
Grasp my hand in yours
And speak your sweet remedies
To mask the pain of my heartbreak,
Pull me into your sweet surrender
And maybe then I’ll let you remind me.

Slip your arm around my waist
And bring me into your warm embrace.
Ask me to forgive you,
To forget the heartache,
To take you back,
And then I will remember.

Tell me that you love me,
That you always have and always will,
That you want me in your life forever,
And you will love me for eternity.
And we will remember together.
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 2nd, 2008 at 02:26am
“Buckets Filled With Stars”
By Kate, May 19th 2008.

“I do so love the stars which adorn
With their beauty the night’s sky;
If only to mask for a moment a forlorn
Night’s ally,

Their grace, which ever-lasts
‘Til dawn, when sunshine is ever nigh,
And the golden rays of our dear sun casts
The moonlight a quick goodbye,”

Her tone bespeaks an urgent need
For the comfort of this night;
And her eyes reveal a cautious plead
To never leave this sight,

“But, dear one, did you ever know
That beyond these stars is a darkened abyss?
That once they’re passed, their present glow
Will then cease to exist?

And did you think, before this day,
That I may love only you--
To speak of you in such a way,
And hope you loved me too?”

He asks, his voice quaking with such want,
Such a need for her, as she does these stars;
For a hope that, once realised, his love may cease to taunt
Him, and that the taking of her hand may heal his deepest wound’s jagged scars,

And all the Earth pauses, for just this one moment in time.

“Tell me, dear friend, did you foresee,
Or ever pose a thought in lieu
This fondness that you have for me,
Is mirrored but for you?

For nights I have hidden
Within the deepest corner of my soul
This feeling, I felt forbidden
But which would make myself whole,”

Her words he takes as a question, as if to ask
‘Do you feel this same way, too?’
And her tone, uncertain, a mere mask,
To say, ‘Perhaps I love you, too’,

“My dear love, oh, is that true?
Is this something only I can feel,
Or do you sense it, too?
But, dear love, if I were to kneel

Here on this lush grass, and take your hand
In mine, I would but only ask of you
To smile and take this golden band
And wear it, oh, be true--

And to you, I promise this;
My love will last long passed the stars, the moon,
The sun and the Earth, in all of it’s dark abyss,
And to heartbreak, we’d be immune--”

But, before he might finish his sweet vows, she
Silenced him quickly with a kiss,
And met his eyes, so true to behold what readily could be,
And whispered, “I would die for this.”
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 2nd, 2008 at 02:29am
“False Starts And Mislead Hearts”
By Kate, April 21st 2008.

I barely hear you breathing
As you lay beside me on the bed;
Your arm draped across me
Whispering words that stay unsaid
As you reach for my hand
And hold it tightly in your own
Your heart speaks softly with my own, and proclaims
This is how I want to be.


My heart beats in time with yours, to a rhythm
That only we shall know
As daylight creeps upon us, tell me
In the morning can we keep this so?
Will your heart still beat in time with mine,
Will you still want to hold me tight,
Will I still look into your eyes and think,
This feels so right
?

Will my heart still flutter madly when I see you laying there,
And will it still ache for every moment I spend
With you to last an eternity?
Tell me, will my touch still send
Shivers down your spine? And will your
Gentle kisses still be asking
Will your heart be mine
?

Will we not live without one another
For one day longer than this night?
Or will our love fade quickly,
Masked by morning's light?
Will your one last kiss mean
I love you so,

Or will it scream, so shrill and tired,
Please, please let me go.
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 2nd, 2008 at 02:32am
False Start’s… False Start.
By Kate. Coda to “False Starts and Mislead Hearts”, or-- “False Start’s… False Start.”
The original draft to the poem.

I barely hear you breathing
When you lay down beside my bed,
You hardly hear me speaking,
Nor anything I’ve said.

I cannot hold your hand in mine;
You cannot have my heart,
A blistering kiss left blazing on
My lips before we part.

Once you told me, you are waiting;
For everything I’m not--
Another broken heart to love,
Hope, and a chance with her that you never got,

And I reply, so quietly,
I whisper in your ear,
That you are everything that I am not;
The loss of you; of ‘us’, is everything I fear.

And as we lay here restlessly, we shall
Not sleep, but will find
Our love escaping us, as cold, bitter tears fill our eyes,
And memories of you and I fill my darkened mind.

Because I am all that you have never hoped for;
You’re everything I’ll need, and our love,
Our hate, fills this darkness like you have filled
My heart; my angel with no halo, my lover from above.

Because you are everything I have never hoped for,
And I am all that you’ll ever need.
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 2nd, 2008 at 02:40am
“Happy Birthday, Dad” (I will love you forever, too.)
By Kate, June 13th 2008.

Some days I like to picture that
The world’s not filled with pain -
That life is joy and blissful
And I wasn’t out in that rain

With your life behind you
As mine lay ahead
And every whisper runs through my heart,
I remember every word you said.

Your hand that waved goodbye to me,
The eyes that said, “we’ll meet again,”
This dream that’s my reality
When I knew it was the end.

(I’ll miss you, my friend.)

These tears that spill onto my page,
Smudge the pen, and make me sad,
And all these words just to say
“Happy Birthday, Dad.”
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 2nd, 2008 at 02:42am
“Slowly”
By Kate, 2007.

Slowly time passes us by,
Leaves us wondering, asking why.
As slowly, loves fades from our hearts,
Left behind in mislaid parts.
Slowly new life begins,
While old life ebbs, such fragile things.
Slowly an angel gains her wings,
And in the heavens she sings
While slowly, in the world below her,
Those left behind will cry.

The world goes on,
Love grows,
Hatred Fades,
And hope reigns from within.
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 2nd, 2008 at 04:53am
“I Wonder, Could You Ever Understand?”
By Kate, April 22nd 2008.

You don’t know.


I wonder; would you loan me those rose coloured glasses, if only so
that I might steal a glimpse of this glorious world in which you live--
This ceaseless trust that you rely upon; and so that I may know
just what it is like to have your opportunities laid out before me,

You won’t understand.

And I wonder; could I take a moment to tell you all of this,
and would you listen to what I needed to say, or would the words
pass you by in your distant, perfect world---erased, numbed, bliss,

You will never know.

I wonder; would you ever feel like this, as though you were a vague
memory playing on the minds of those who surround you, who do not care-
or would my words leave no mark on you, would they leave no impression,
as if they never were spoken; never really were there,

I will never tell you.

I wonder; could you even understand this, would it ever strike
a chord in your heart, or a thought in your mind, or would it
disappear into the depths of your memories, pulled out to
examine on rare occasions, though the thought of it remains dark and unlit,

You wouldn’t want to know.

So I will never tell you.
And you will never understand.
And you would not listen.
And you will never know.
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 2nd, 2008 at 04:55am
“Forever Fever”
By Kate, May 2007.

Forever fever, just like a dream;
Runs cold through my blood
So you can’t hear me scream.

Forever fever, just like a nightmare;
Hell is where you’re going,
But I’m already there.

Forever fever, just like a gun;
Pounding through your flesh and blood,
And burning in the sun.

Forever fever, just like a blade;
Slicing through your hopes and dreams,
And any plans you made.

Forever fever, just like a curse;
Suffocating, blinding,
Only… worse.
i'll.be.fine
Killjoy
i'll.be.fine
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 33
November 2nd, 2008 at 08:55pm
Your poems are beautiful, I love them! Keep on writing, I am looking forward to reading moreSmile
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:56am
Wow, thankyou!

That means so, so, so much to me Smile
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 3rd, 2008 at 01:04am
Summer Storm
By Kate, August 1, 2008.

He a d o r e s
The summer’s rain,
The world glistens when
It p o u r s.

Stilled b y
Darkened clouds
At rainbow’s end.
Birds f l y

Without c a r e
Dancing, diving, spiralling
Gracefully through
the a i r.

Summer s u n
Gently warms
The wind as
It r u n s

Between t r e e s,
Through damp grass,
As the fading
warmth f l e e s.

Rainbows s o a r
In the skies
To light the
Down p o u r.

--DOWN

DOWN

--DOWN

[ I wish I were the r a i n. ]
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 3rd, 2008 at 01:09am
“Cry, Baby”
By Kate, September 8 2008.

Dear You,

“I think you’re beautiful, you know - ”


I have never had the talent to pick the greatest times
To feed you these lovely lines -
But honey, if you saw the look upon your face.

“I’ll take your hand, and I won’t let go - ”


Well, darling, I’ve studied books
Of gorgeous words to get me off the hook -
But honey, if you saw the look upon your face.

“You are the world to me - ”


I’ve woven lifetimes with my lies
Of true love that never dies -
But honey, if you saw the look upon your face.

{I confess}


You are not attractive, and I don’t hold on so tight,
For there are many shining stars for this one darkened night,
And even if our love were true,
I’d hardly wait for you.

And babe, if you could only see your tears.

Love,
Me. XOXO.
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
November 11th, 2008 at 03:57am
“Sometimes”
By Kate, 2005. To Dad.


Sometimes I sit and wonder
sometimes I sit and cry
I wonder where you are right now,
As I watch the people passing by.

I sometimes like to dream of you,
In a place that’s nice and safe,
Where you’re more than happy,
This is my secret place.

Are you in the crowd I see?
Maybe you’re in that car,
I wish that I could see you now,
I wish you weren’t so far.

Do you remember the times we spent together?
The stars we named, all of them,
Do you remember the places that we’d go?
The places like right here?
I sometimes sit and wonder where you are right now.

I’d like to see you someday,
To hear your voice again,
To see your sweet face smile at me,
To know that you are safe.

Do you remember the times we spent together?
The stars we named, all of them,
Do you remember the places that we’d go?
The places like right here?
I sometimes sit and wonder where you are right now.

Are you in the crowd I see?
Maybe you’re in that car,
I wish that I could see you now,
I wish you weren’t so far.

Sometimes I sit and wonder
sometimes I sit and cry
I wonder where you are right now,
As I watch the people passing by.
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
January 5th, 2009 at 06:42am
"Untitled"

Love is shallow.

It is selfish and painful, like the reopening of a fresh wound.
It is a hurricane striking a small country that lacks the technology to predict it’s chaotic arrival..
It is a car crash that reverses and replays.
It is the beautiful serenade of a singer before he loses his voice.

It scrambles the order of everything we know, and steals the pair of glasses that allows us to see our broken world has suffered.
It laughs and tosses them above our heads, taunting us as we blindly and frantically attempt to reassemble everything we once had.

It is blame and it is guilt, but we pour our shallow selves into it like it deserves our souls.
It is a beautiful mess, a sundial reflecting the exact moment that our lives turn into shadows.

It is the acid draining the colours of our precious photographs until all we can see are shades of grey.
It is the dirt that contaminates the precious gem and steals it’s worth.
It is the pain that finally chips away to reveal ugly foundations.

It is the rain cloud that pollutes a brilliant summer’s day.

It is the alarm clock that pulls us from sweet dreams to face sour realities.

It is all that we are, and all that we survive for.

But we are nothing, and death is imminent.
MuRdEr ScEnE
Killjoy
MuRdEr ScEnE
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 14
January 5th, 2009 at 10:31am
wow! I like the poem Foever Fever! it was really good! But that's the only one I read because I was posting some of my poems on mibba and then I was reading everyone else's so it's beging to sound like Dr.Suess is running through my head and now because I said running through my head I have All the Things You Said stuck in my head! Ahh things are ryming again! Sad( Dr.Suess is in meh head! *runns away screaming*
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
September 24th, 2009 at 08:50am
Family Tree / “In Memoriam of My Lost Respect for the Scientist Among Us”

Derivations of the past

trickling downstream in

the veins of my inheritance

overflowing with blood

relatives



Branching out

stick insect saplings – siblings! –

rusty as

the hinges of an heirloom

rocking horse

swinging in the shade

cast by grandparents

with their skin so rough

and covered in

bark calluses



Saplings’ eyes are dutiful interpretations

of closed windows

minds like slammed doors

and hearts a

cemented knoll

not even a sparrow could survive



Parents are a question

marked upon an empty page

no stone left unturned, but this one.

Much like grandparents with

cold hands

cold eyes

cold skin

love-less hearts;

just machines beating

the life out of them



And I –

I am told to write.

And what did you want?

Too many crosses

through the names of my dead

Because as I was wiping

my slate heart off clean

I realised you cannot

clean away

fractures in broken bones

and you cannot

wipe away

breaks in

stoic hearts.



So do not demand a petty record

of the origins of my blood

For I would need to wander

in the dark into the garden

to consult my family tree –

Of this, I am afraid

And the old oak is

scared of me.
I.wish.i.wer.a.ghost
Motor Baby
I.wish.i.wer.a.ghost
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 940
September 28th, 2009 at 02:55am
...wow. your poems are rerally really good. like quite beautiful tbh.

=]

love them
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
September 29th, 2009 at 04:47am
New SETLIST: later 2009

"Untitled"
"Family Tree"
"Poem."
katieackles
Killjoy
katieackles
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
September 29th, 2009 at 04:48am
"Poem"

the blank canvas of an artist’s will lays dormant in his lair for years
while its silent siblings celebrate life in the dull light crawling past the attic door
and those that graduated from the college of his palette
wave their diplomas in the hearts of empty corridors

the common playwright will nurse her toddler of a script
a hypocrite in raising him to teach morals
as she drinks and writes, and writes and drinks
and drinks some more to write
until her work, in adolescence,
adorns appreciative smiles with an expiration date
on the pale faces of his audience
her play –seen, but soon dismissed

lyrics trickling from the tongue of a singer
coated in a golden voice
mark play dates in the sand with the notes of a stringed guitar
dancing, twirling, whooshing
through the whimsical ear
into the eagerly awaiting heart
yet, the lyrics sing goodbye
as the swooning voice unravels
to the interrupted thrumming of a drum

but Poetry – Poetry does not age or wither
for it is far too brimming with its flourishing importance
to die in a cupboard made of fear
raw and unhidden, it remains a child – vulnerable –
long after its creator
has shuddered her last breath
strokes of truth
on a page that never dies