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Word Torment and the Charming Zero - poems by Day Old Hate.

AuthorMessage
Day Old Hate
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Day Old Hate
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 423
January 22nd, 2009 at 01:47pm
Okay, so I've never shared my writing before, please be nice!

This is a poem called
Achluophobia, Nyctophobia.

It's funny.
A wise man once said,
'There's nothing to fear but fear itself',
Yet there are so many names for phobias
That I had no idea existed.

Sat alone in a darkened room,
Nothing but the luminosity of the monitor
Keeping objects in their proper perspective.
Thinking of how my best moments
Happened in the cover of darkness.
How my most
'Life Affirming' moments
Happened when no-one could
Bear witness.

In a darkened movie theatre,
With thoughts reflecting on the silver screen,
The stars playing out a hypnotizing dance;
12 ft tall stars that burned their images into my eyes.

A pitch black bedroom,
Where the players of my own dinner theatre
Danced away to their own rhythms;
Memories made and self-enforced inhibitions fell away.

The dead of night,
Where the beer always tasted better,
The air was crisper,
Smoky secrets dissipated into the air,
And the sky began to melt into pink flesh.

I'm fond of the dark.


Thanks for reading!
Let me know what you think.
MyChemicalBlack
Salute You in Your Grave
MyChemicalBlack
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2351
January 23rd, 2009 at 07:31pm
It's going to sound weird, but I was imagining it as I read. xD
It was written very well, not to mention finishing with a killer ending. Smiley
Nice job. Smile
Liek teh lulz!
Salute You in Your Grave
Liek teh lulz!
Age: 99
Gender: -
Posts: 4249
January 30th, 2009 at 05:19am
Wow! Nice poem. I loved it! Wow
Liek teh lulz!
Salute You in Your Grave
Liek teh lulz!
Age: 99
Gender: -
Posts: 4249
January 30th, 2009 at 05:19am
Sorry, double post. Tehe
(I hate our internet connection)
Day Old Hate
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Day Old Hate
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 423
January 30th, 2009 at 10:15am
Hey, thanks guys!
Here's another, called
'The Dying Sparks In My Belief System'.

There are many things I don't believe in,
like Santa Claus and God.
But, my God,
I did believe in you.
I saw in you
the many things I wished
I could be.
The beauty, smarts,
and the class
you presented yourself with.
Oh, how I wished I could be you.

I settled for being with you,
because second best is better than last.
I learnt.
You were no replacement messiah.
What was I thinking,
you were a broken monster
in a perfectly presented package.
The angel I saw in you
died as soon as you drew the curtains.
The shadows rose in you
as the sun set into the horizon.

Well, thanks buddy.
At least I learnt how
to put the agony
in agnostic.
Bless you, Father,
you're the one who needs it most.
As you stumble down the alter,
shed a tear for your soul instead.
Save your Hallelujah
your Amens, your parish.
And I'll stick to the corners,
the night and the pariah.


Thanks for reading!
Day Old Hate
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Day Old Hate
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 423
February 2nd, 2009 at 08:13am
This poem was from an old class project of mine from about five years ago. I know it's not too great, but I'm proud of it nonetheless, it sums up my everlong search for a companion.

Friendship.

I don't know where you are,
but I sense that you're out there.
I don't know your face,
but I know it is welcoming.
I don't know your name,
but that won't stop me searching for you.
I don't know you,
but I hope I will.
I'm not looking for a lover,
romancer, or date.
I'm not even looking for love.
I'm just looking for someone
to share my day with.
To hang out with until I die.
To plot with,
and lean on,
when the day gets too hard.

Someone to laugh with,
with tears in our eyes,
and our hands on our hearts.
We'd have nothing to hide
as we look in each other.
Searching for answers
that we would give so willingly
if only we knew what they were.
Someone to have deep talks with,
when the sun begins to rise out of darkness.
Who will always listen,
to the irrational thoughts that fall out of my mouth.
To hold my hand when I need it most,
and a hand to hold when you need it too.
To have thrilling adventures with,
without even having to do anything.

'Best friend' and 'soul mate'
would be empty words to us,
because we know whoever thought those names up
never felt what we feel.

I'm looking.
Who are you?


Thanks for reading!
Comments and criticism welcome.
Day Old Hate
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Day Old Hate
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 423
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:49pm
Fallen Comrades.

Fallen comrades,
I owe a huge apology to you all.
The way I saw our time together,
The drugs and the booze,
The sex and the trauma,
It was like we were all passengers
In an out of control car.
No-one had the wheel
And no-one wanted it.
We all laughed
And fucked around in our
Individual dazed ways,
We were united by our demons.

When the car eventually flipped...
I stumbled away.
My demon was knocked
Straight out of me.
I was so wound up in
The image of the hell ride
We had just taken
That I never checked to see if
You guys were still okay.

The ringing in my ears clouded me
Longer than I thought it would.
I crawled away through the broken glass,
Battered and bruised,
Hoping you'd survived,
But never actually physically
Battled for you.
The blood in my eyes
Still stings sometimes.

Of course,
This is all figurative.
I hope you all survived.
I hope you are all okay.
I hope your demons died on that road too.
Day Old Hate
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Day Old Hate
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 423
February 6th, 2009 at 11:38am
I'm Thankful.

I’m thankful.

I think about all my faults,
My anxieties,
My fears,
My introverted personality...
I think about my life,
And everything that has gone ‘wrong’.
My fights with friends,
Fights with family,
Fights with myself
And the many vices I have picked up over the years.
And I’m thankful.

Do you wanna know why?
Do you really wanna know?

Because I’m alive.
I’ve seen many people who don’t live.
People who have lost life.
People who were too afraid to live.
And I’m alive.
Okay, so I don’t drink,
I don’t do drugs,
And I don’t ‘party hard’.
I’m never the most popular girl in the room.
I don’t understand
Why people want to get wasted
While a good movie is on TV,
And you could share it with a friend.
I don’t get how
Drama and power struggles,
Are deemed socially better
Than coffee and a good book.
But there's more...

But hey,
You really wanted to know right?

I’m thankful because I’m loved.
I have a great family,
And the best friends I could ever wish for.
I am surrounded by so many
Supportive forces
That I never feel alone.
And I don’t get why living in solitude,
Is better than a friendly group discussion
About what ever bull shit
We have in common.
Still, there's more.

So,
You really wanna know
Why I’m so thankful?

Because I’m not you.
I’ll never be you.
And I can sleep at night.

Day Old Hate
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Day Old Hate
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 423
February 21st, 2009 at 03:45pm
Mighty Soup.

Let me start by saying that I love this girl.
She is the sister I was never lucky enough to have,
But blessed to have found.
When she told me,
I guess I didn’t understand the
Severity of the situation.
The more the thought of it lingered in my head,
The more terrified I became.

Shit.

I need this girl,
And right now,
She might need me.
I’m coming home.
I need to get home.
Why can’t I get home?
The days travel slower than the seconds tick away.
I memorized the clock face,
The ticking blocked my senses.

I need.
She might need.
She may not,
But I’m coming anyway.

I had a nightmare.
Bones visible through skin,
My fingers traced their shapes through cold flesh.
Her eyes,
Once so bright had dulled into clouded glass.
Her make up;
Tear stained and cracking on her once youthful face.
I can’t bare it.
Why am I not home yet?

Fuck.

I’m proud of her.
Not for what she has done,
But for admitting to it.
For seeking a cure.
For confiding in me.
I’ll get her though this,
Even if it kills me.
Day Old Hate
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Day Old Hate
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 423
February 21st, 2009 at 03:46pm
Rage.

I’m mad.

I’ll put the rage in the outrage.
The anger in the danger.

I’m at war.

My opposing side doesn’t have tanks.
They don’t have guns.
They walk the streets outside my door.

Marching.

I’ll rip out their nicotine filled lungs.
Their McDonald’s stuffed stomachs.
Their pop-culture spewing tongues.

And smile.
Day Old Hate
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Day Old Hate
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 423
February 21st, 2009 at 03:47pm
Chicken.

You rattle the bird cage,
Then beg the bird to attack.
You wave the red flag at the bull,
For the sake of getting gored.
You cheat death on railway tracks,
By diving away just in time.
You take all the drugs you can find,
And throw them up an hour later.
You run the cool blade on your wrists
But never press down.

You push and push and push,
Only to pull back on the brink of falling.
You run blindly towards the ends of cliffs,
And stumble a step away from the edge.
You speed down a one way street in the wrong direction,
And peel out the way when the headlights burn your eyes.
You dive out of the bath
When the radio gets close to the water.
You step of the chair,
And the slipknot comes undone.

I don’t know if it’s a show of bravery,
Cowardice, or luck.
Bravery will run dry,
Cowardice will rob you of your senses.
Luck will turn bad in the end.

I’ll be seeing you soon.