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Poetry Of A Forgotten Heart And Broken Soul

AuthorMessage
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
October 28th, 2009 at 04:54pm
The Shadows of Love


The house is quite and I’m all alone
The darkness and the shadows are bigger
But I’m not scared of any worthless shadow
I’m not scared by any lack of light
I head straight towards the bedroom door
Because I know what lies behind it

I go to the dresser
And open the top left door
The dreaded top left door
With the small silk covered box
That lays behind all the socks

I take out the box
They will all pay

I take off the silk cover and run my fingers over
The wooden carvings details
Of figures in the moonlight
Dancing and singing
All at my disgrace

I open the box
And there it sits inside
The pleasure in my eyes
Is hard to hide
The gun is small
And cold to the touch

My hands were warm
But not anymore
As my right hand wraps itself around the trigger
I don’t have much time

I can hear the clocks ticking
I don’t have any time to spare
And I can almost see your face
And feel you breath along my neck
Feel your fingers on mine
Feel your hand on my heart
And all I want
Is it to stop

I pull the trigger

Silence fills the air
Just my luck
The gun was jammed
If not now then when?
If not that then how?
What do I have to do?
Just to look at you?
That’s all I’ve been trying to do
Is just get one last look at you
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
October 28th, 2009 at 04:55pm
A Gun in Hand with Plenty of Time


I look around slowly
With a gun in my hand
Trying to find a better reason to die
Than you

Pictures around me
Simi-circle form
Tears on my face
That I can taste
As memories of you
Dance in my head
Back and fourth you go
Up and down
Just dancing around
Memories of you
With my head above clouds

The gun is loaded
And I don’t think twice
As I tighten my grip on the trigger
I close my eyes

Your voice sounds so sweet
As you threaten me
Yelling at me to put the gun away
But my hand does not stray
And neither does my mind
I’ve got plenty of time

And time does pass slow
Very slow
As if your gentle finger is holding back the clock
But I know better
I know your not really there
But tell my eyes that
As I look into your stare

A wonder-less look
That stare of yours
It’s like looking into the ocean blue
With specks of golden-brown fish held within their bowl
They swim around me
Capturing me and taking me down into the deep, dark, depths of your soul
If I only had my fishing pole

The strike of the clock awakens me
And you fade away
The gun
Now heavy in my hand sends chills through my veins
The pictures on the ground
Blurred and spotted from my tears
Lie there
Watching me
Waiting for my next move
I pick them up
One by one and put them in their box

Then physically and emotionally
I walk away
To live to see you yet another day
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
October 28th, 2009 at 04:56pm
Heartbroken Lover


I walk passed you
You walk passed me
And then stop on a dime and turn around
You walk back up to me
And treat me with a smile

I smile too
And then stop to look at you
It’s like you’re looking past me
Like you’re looking at someone new
This shouldn’t be
And you know it too
As I refuse to talk to you
You look me in the eye
You know that I’m just going to tell you a lie
Anything just to be able to finish walking by

You don’t leave
And I can see
The tears welling up in your eyes
I could bottle them up and sell them
For a dollar and a dime
But I think twice as another thought crosses my mind

Who have you told?
What have you done?
If anything at all

I threaten to kill you
And you now know
that the truth has been told
What will you do?
Ah, it’s so easy to see
You know that I won’t hurt you

And you love me
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
October 28th, 2009 at 04:57pm
Shadow Standoff

I open my eyes
From a dream of light kisses
And sunshine
To a room filled with darkness
And suffering
The rain pounds on my window
Like a heartbroken lover
Begging for that last kiss
I hit the light switch
And like a flash
The light slithers across the room
Enveloping the darkest shadows
With light
I head to the bathroom door
And that's when I hear it
A sickening cry
Laughing?
No
It's some twist between crying
And screaming
The bathroom light turns on
I duck beside the far wall
And pray that my presence stays unknown.
I listen until my ears buzz
But all I hear is the unforgiving rain
And my restless heart.

I stand up slowly
Take a few steps closer
And watch in horror
As a shadow moves across the front of the door
I stand still and hold my breath
Waiting for a sign
But the shadow stands there
Mocking me
Daring me to open the door
For what feels like hours
I stand
And wait
But I can't take it anymore
I run to the door.

In a rush I turn the knob
And open the door
Close my eyes and jump in the room
With both arms out
A failed attempt to be Superman
And land on the bathroom floor with a thud
I stand up and turn around
With my fists in the air
Ready to kill whoever broke into my house
With me staying home alone.

And there SHE stands
Perfection in its greatest form
Blond hair
Green eyes
Warm stare
Heart - stopping smile
Perfection.

I stand in silence and shock
I want to speak
Yell
Anything
But its like I'm frozen
I can't say a word
My eyes drift to the mirror
And that's when I realize

I'm the only one in the room.

I turn back
Confused
And there SHE stands
Perfection in its greatest form
And then I noticed something that I didn't before
SHE does not blink
SHE does not breath
SHE hasn't even moved.

I take a step closer
And another
And another
until I'm right in front of HER.
I wave my hand in front of HER face.
Nothing.
I mange to somehow speak HER name.
"Jen...."
Nothing.
I try in put my hand on HER shoulder

But it passes straight through.

I scream and stumble backwards
And watch as SHE fades away
I fall to the floor in a trembling heap
Trying to think up an explanation
But I can't think
Through the sound of the
Pounding
Unforgiving
Bloodthirsty
Rain.
xxtoryxx
Killjoy
xxtoryxx
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 51
November 21st, 2009 at 11:24pm
i thought they were beautiful!!
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
November 30th, 2009 at 01:59pm
there great! cant wait to see more!
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
November 30th, 2009 at 09:52pm
Thanks guys! It really means a lot!
misa misa.
Shotgun Sinner
misa misa.
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 8241
November 30th, 2009 at 10:47pm
hey
some of your imagery was very nice i especially liked the stanza
I take off the silk cover and run my fingers over
The wooden carvings details
Of figures in the moonlight
Dancing and singing
All at my disgrace

The idea that the carved figures were dancing at your ridicule was very evocative.

Some tips though; make sure to use spell check on your wordprocessor. Mainly you were fine but there were a few mistakes which take away from the fluidity of your poem. Also, you could try looking up some synonyms on either your wordprocessor or online. This is a very simple way to help diversify your expression, and sometimes you come across interesting phrases. It is something I use a lot myself.
I hope that didn't sound too harsh. Overall your poems were good, you had some lovely imagery and it really expressed your emotions well. Smile
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
December 1st, 2009 at 04:26pm
Nadiya.:
hey
some of your imagery was very nice i especially liked the stanza
I take off the silk cover and run my fingers over
The wooden carvings details
Of figures in the moonlight
Dancing and singing
All at my disgrace

The idea that the carved figures were dancing at your ridicule was very evocative.

Some tips though; make sure to use spell check on your wordprocessor. Mainly you were fine but there were a few mistakes which take away from the fluidity of your poem. Also, you could try looking up some synonyms on either your wordprocessor or online. This is a very simple way to help diversify your expression, and sometimes you come across interesting phrases. It is something I use a lot myself.
I hope that didn't sound too harsh. Overall your poems were good, you had some lovely imagery and it really expressed your emotions well. Smile


wow, thank you! I never knew that you could look up synonyms on the wordprocessor, I'll have to try that next time. I'm glad you enjoyed the poems!
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
December 1st, 2009 at 04:32pm
Eclipse Kiss

I look at you
You look at me
The world stops
And so do we
I stroke your face
You touch my lips
Then altogether at once
We both kiss
Each other
On the lips
It's an amazing sensation
That I've never had the guts to try
But together we fly
Through the clouds
To the sky
We push away the sun
But block out the moon
Just me and you
That's all I need
Just me and you together
For all entirety
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
December 1st, 2009 at 04:40pm
Just Drifting Away

Sometimes I feel like I'm drifting away
On top of a river
Just floating away
Being carried away
Just laying on top
Acting like everything's okay
Even though it's not

I would rather be drifting away
Barely thinking of you and me
Than drowning in my own thoughts
And having you be so inquisitive about me

Asking me who I am
Where I've been
And what I've done
I can't change these things
Even though I've tried
Being with you is always on my mind

What would you say?
What would you think?
It's not that I care
I just want to plainly see
What the world thinks about me

So I'm just drifting away
Laying on top
Acting like everything's okay
Even though it's not
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
December 1st, 2009 at 04:49pm
Yesterday, Tomorrow, and Christmas Eve

Dancing tears stream along your face
The sparkle in your eyes lost in their wake
My fingertips touch your lips
You hardly breathe a sigh
As I tell you goodbye

I wrote you a letter on Christmas Eve
Told you I love you and never would leave
But today is the day I must tell you I'm going
Cause' tomorrow's plane as no sign of slowing
So goodnight my fair lady

You hug me and beg me to stay
I longing memory I still have today
But today is not yesterday and I still believe
That if I came back your heart would still beat for me

I wrote you a letter on Christmas Eve
Told you I love you and never would leave
But today is the day I must tell you I'm going
Cause' tomorrow's society has no sign of slowing
So goodnight my fair lady

I may miss you
I may want to cry
But deep down inside
I know it was right
To leave you pleading and screaming my name
Because now you're only starting to feel my pain

I wrote you a letter on Christmas Eve
Told you I love you and never would leave
But today is the day I must tell you I'm going
Cause' yesterday's memory's have so sign of slowing
So goodnight my fair lady
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
December 1st, 2009 at 05:01pm
Silent Conversation

Your blond hair lowers as you look into my eyes
You ask me what I'm trying to hide
But I give you no answers
I give you no change
From the silence that I live through everyday
Your looking for a reason
The thing that make me tick
But everyone has already told you
I'm nothing but sick.

You refuse to believe them
And want an answer from me
Why can't you see that everyone has given up on me?
That no matter how many times that I drown
Now matter how many times I lie
The world has given up on me
They have turned their backs back around
They don't care how many times I drown.

You want me to tell you my every feeling and thought
You want an explanation for all the dark clothes I've bought
But once again silence fills the room
You know you've bitten off more than you can chew
I'm too much for you.

Your dark green eyes are now welling up with tears
I don't want you to cry here
Why can't you see
That you're the one doing this to me?
Wandering_Soul
Jazz Hands
Wandering_Soul
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 303
December 1st, 2009 at 07:48pm
These are incredible. You convey your emotions really well, and the imagery is fantastic! Keep up the amazing work, I can't wait to read more.
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
December 2nd, 2009 at 04:24pm
Wandering_Soul:
These are incredible. You convey your emotions really well, and the imagery is fantastic! Keep up the amazing work, I can't wait to read more.


Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed them.
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
December 4th, 2009 at 04:35pm
You and Me

The smell of alcohol is in the air
There is lots of talking and people drinking
I look around the room as I set up the stage
I never did like playing in bars
All the somke
All the talk
All the flirting
All just a little to distracting while you're
Onstage
With all the lights
With all the eyes matching yours
With all the people not listening to you
With all the people that are
I pick up my guitar and turn up my amp
I adjust the microphone to my height
People look up like they are a bunch of cattle
And I am their herder
I give the room a going over before
I start to sing
I am singing the lyrics but I am thinking of
You and me
I always do it
I am into the 5th song
A slow love song I wrote about you
But know one seems to be in the mood
Except me
I hear the door open
I hear footsteps on the granite floor
I open my eyes
Just for a peek at the newest crowd
I see you sitting at the bar
Nothing in your hand
Nothing in front of you
Nothing but a big smile and a wink
I try to smile back
But its hard to without crying
After the song I go down to the bar
I see you and you walk up to me
We talk about the old and the new
The good and the bad
We talk a long time
Just you and me
Just like I had always pictured
Until you kissed me
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
December 4th, 2009 at 04:43pm
Long Lost Heartbreak

I'm confused
I know I want you
But yet
Your not here to have

I'm alone
Yes, I do have lots of friends
But yet
They can't always be around

I know that I want you
I know that I need you
I know the reason I can't sleep at night is you
I know what you're trying to say
That I should just pick up my life
And move away
But I don't know if I can

I'm drowning
In the very memory of you
But yet
You're the thing that keeps me floating on
This river of life

I'm lost
In our past
But yet
You're the light at the end of this tunnel

I know that I want you
I know that I need you
I know the reason I can't sleep at night is you
I know what you're trying to say
That I should just pick up my life
And move away
But I don't know if I can

I'm confused
But yet
I know whats wrong
I'm alone
But yet
I have a million friends
I'm drowning
But yet
I'm still thirsty for more
I'm lost
But yet
I know where I'm going

So come and get me down off this ledge
We don't have to run off together
Into the sunset
It would help me just to see you again
But yet
Will that be the end?
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
December 14th, 2009 at 04:57pm
Our Love

She looks at me
I can't breathe
She takes a step in my direction
I've never understood this affection
I have for her

Her hand touches mine
God, she looks so fine
Her arms wrap around my waist
I can almost taste
Our love

It's a love so strong
Yes,
We know it's wrong
But if we go our separate ways
There is so much pain
But our love takes the pain away
And that's why I love her to this day
MCRmusicmonster
Really Not Okay
MCRmusicmonster
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 612
December 14th, 2009 at 05:08pm
Death's Lifeline

Your eyes deep green
You make me want to scream
Your hand grips mine
God you look so fine
There's a gun in my had
The one that you grip
If I could only just trip
Make it look like a mistake
I've lost all faith
In love
But somehow I still have one feeling left
One love
One life
One time
Your my only lifeline
You look into my eyes
Like you're trying to find
Something that you've lost

My fingers grip tighter
Around the trigger
As your face morphs into saddness
And concern
For your life or mine
I'm not really sure

All I want is so simple
So easy to do
But that lifeline of mine is rigging of the hook
But why do you even care?
Before now you wouldn't even pass me a look

But right now your right here beside me
Holding my hand
Just like I'm a child
And I don't understand

But your the one that doesn't understand
You have no idea
You're the reason I'm doing this
'Cause you're the one that's killing me

You've shot out my heart
You've drowned my brain
You've been to many hallucinations
You've been way too much pain
You've sat here for so long
Are you still alive?

Yes
Yes you are
And so am I
Because you still speak
And dead people can't cry.
misa misa.
Shotgun Sinner
misa misa.
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 8241
December 16th, 2009 at 04:36am
wow, you have written a lot since i last checked your thread!
Long Lost Heartbreak was by favourite. I loved the last stanza. The question at the end made it seem really fragile, and really summed up the conflicting emotions of the subject. Great title too, it really drew me in.

there are a few little grammatical and type errors again but apart from that it was good.