Godhatesusall
Killjoy
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2 | November 14th, 2009 at 08:02pm
hey people,
I hope you enjoy my feelings written down on paper. This is pretty much my first time sharing this with anyone else, So I don't know what to expect. But hey well see soon enough.
Godhates- My former lover
My heart shut down,
Collapsed,
Like a card house,
Blown away,
on a sunny day
But No one cares,
No one feels,
Everyone is scared,
Just running away from
the things they hate
instead of running towards
the things they love
Street lights illuminate my face,
its covered in tears
No one is here.
I light up a cigarette,
inhaling the anger,
Exhaling the love.
Then I see her,
On the other side of the street
Shes with someone else,
Anger, sadness, all at once.
Too numb to fight, too numb.
I walk away,
walk away from the thing,
the thing I loved. |
xxtoryxx
Killjoy
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 51 | November 21st, 2009 at 11:19pm wow.....i really liked it! it was great! |
Godhatesusall
Killjoy
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2 | November 28th, 2009 at 08:22pm Glad you liked it ^^
Thanks for the comment. |
misa misa.
Shotgun Sinner
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 8241 | November 30th, 2009 at 11:13pm hey
I really liked this too. You had some very nice descriptions. I really liked how you broke up your lines too. Especailly in the first stanza. Having those short one or two word lines created a good sense of emphasis.
Good work and i hope to see more from you. |
