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Letters to Anyone

AuthorMessage
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
October 9th, 2014 at 08:59am
Charlie,
You don't know me. Just because you sit and talk with me whenever you and your friend come in to eat doesn't mean I want to get to know you either. You come off as intelligent, but also as a know-it-all. I don't need your life advice, nor do I need you trying to convert me back to Christianity. I would tell you my story and all, but I don't feel the need to. So, stop trying to pry it out of me.
Vanessa
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
October 10th, 2014 at 02:15pm
Corey,
It's not that I'm afraid of saying this to you in person. Quite the opposite actually. I feel comfortable telling you basically anything I have on my mind. I just felt like typing it first. And because you're busy at the moment, and sometimes you clam up and go silent when I mention things like this. But here goes: I believe with all my heart and soul you're the person I was meant to fall in love with. Head over heels in love. So in love it hurts. However, I don't think you're the man I'm meant to marry. I can't say for sure, but the events that have happened over these years has lead me to this conclusion. You've told me time and time again you don't love me the way I love you. And part of me slightly believes you. But the way you act screams a different story. I think CJ is truly the man I'm meant to marry, which is why we're engaged, but, as much as I feel shitty for even saying this, he will be second best because it's not you. Anyone other than you will be second best. I've literally loved you since we first met, back as freshmen in high school. It's never went away, ever. Sometimes, I wish it would. I know it wont. Don't get me wrong, CJ is an amazing guy. He's so nice and loving and would do anything for me, as I would him. But if I honestly had to choose between being with him forever or you, I'd choose you. After I'm done crying and probably regretting my decision, I'd choose you. You and I can have conversations far deeper than anything CJ and I talk about. You and I have a connection that can't be severed. Half of me feels like if we were meant to be a couple, it would've already happened during the many chances it could've. But then, the other half says sometimes things happen for a reason, and maybe it is meant to be, just not yet. You've sparked a fire in me that cannot be extinguished. It can't even be dimmed. It's here to stay, I'm going to live with it for the rest of my life. I carry it everyday. I still have yet to figure out exactly how you feel about it all. Maybe I'll never know. Maybe I'm not supposed to know. I just hope one day everything is made clear. And I hope that day comes before it's all too late.
Vanessa
Frnk iero.
Awake and Unafraid
Frnk iero.
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 11746
October 19th, 2014 at 10:42pm
Baby love,

I'm so sorry I doubted and forgot about you all weekend. I know you probubly won't know that it happened,, but i feel so guilty. I love you so much and I know, deep down, way down in there, in my heart, that we are meant to be I just got too caught up in my present life that i forgot i had a future.
forgive me.

I love you so steadfaast, so hard, so much more than I could have ever thought of loving Kayla.


Megan
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
October 20th, 2014 at 09:02am
Nathan,
It's been so long since I've thought about you in a positive way. We met around 8 years ago. We were good relationship wise, but we just couldn't be good friends. I miss our friendship from time to time. You were one of the best friends I've ever had, despite our problems and differences. I know you're married now and probably forgot all about me. I just want you to know I still think about you every now and then. Differences aside, you were a magnificent part of my life. I still have everything. The letters. The hoodie. The small gifts you gave me. I just don't have the first letters or the notebook, because I got angry and burned them. About four years ago or so. I really am glad your life is working out. Really. I hope you accomplish all those things we talked about. You'll do great things.
Vanessa

Corey,
I've already said so much to you. I really don't have much left. But...I need to let my feelings for you go. You obviously don't feel the same for me as I do you. I've tried to tell myself you do, but deep down I know you don't. It's taken me this long to realize it. It's gonna take a very long time to not have romantic feelings towards you anymore. But I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try my hardest. I hope that makes you proud.
Vanessa

CJ,
We've been together three years, and this past year has by far been the worst. It's not you that's changed, it's me. As cliche as that sounds. My depression has gotten worse, and I act on it. I'm sorry. I know the counseling will help. We just have to find some. We'll get better, I promise. We have to.
Vanessa
stereo typical.
Full of Ephedrine
stereo typical.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 42862
October 23rd, 2014 at 05:03am
M,

Simply saying you'd get off the "bully Nicola" bandwagon means a lot to me. I know I'm easy to pick on and because of that, it's actually really hard to not join in with that. Having the strength to stick up for me lit up my day, it's nice to have even just one person appreciate how hard I try to be the best person I can for the sake of all of you.

- Nicola.
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
October 23rd, 2014 at 06:05pm
CJ,
I'm sorry. I really am trying to get better. I know it isn't showing much, its just hard to change on my own. Things will look up eventually. I'm just lost and scared. Be patient, even if I'm not. I'm sorry.
Vanessa
hedge bitch;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
hedge bitch;
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 66180
October 24th, 2014 at 02:16am
G
I can't stop thinking about you, and I'm suddenly feeling over-protective of you. This is not my place, and I'm fully aware of that. I'm confident that feeling will pass. I just wish i could somehow let you know that you're important to me. You are, you really are. But that's too much to put on you. If only things could change.
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
October 24th, 2014 at 03:26pm
Dad,
What I think you're trying to say: "Why don't you ever wash dishes and help mom?" "Why can't you find a full time job within an hour of looking. It's not hard." "You need to do more in these areas." "You can't make your own life with how lazy you're being."

What I actually hear: "Waaaah, bitch bitch waaah."

Seriously, stop.
Vanessa
andromeda;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
andromeda;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 69154
October 24th, 2014 at 03:49pm

M C S & T-

thanks for putting up with me last night. Makes me feel less like a pariah.

L
stereo typical.
Full of Ephedrine
stereo typical.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 42862
October 26th, 2014 at 07:06am
K,

I promise I will eventually write you what I'm feeling
It's just hard to word something to somebody else when you're so disappointed at heart with yourself.
Thanks for being patient.

- Nicola.
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
October 28th, 2014 at 01:24pm
CJ,
I wish I was more intelligent. I know you're probably embarrassed by me. You're so smart. I used to get angry because you always said things to make it seem like I'm wrong. Now I've realized I am always wrong. I'm really trying to focus on expending my vocabulary and working on my math skills. I don't like giving myself credit, however, I'm fairly decent in other subjects. That's why I'm focusing mainly on those two areas. I've been reading the dictionary to learn new words and I've been playing games and such to sharpen my math skills and my words. I'm really trying. Maybe one day I'll be as smart as you. Hopefully work keeps increasing my hours and I'll save up some money to have someone teach me these things. Maybe not a formal education, I won't have that kind of money for a while. But maybe a tutor of sorts. I'm 21 years old and should already have this basic knowledge. I'll get it together. I promise.
Vanessa
roseieroway
Salute You in Your Grave
roseieroway
Age: 22
Gender: -
Posts: 2068
October 29th, 2014 at 12:16pm
To whoever's listening,

Just know that you are loved. This world would be so dark if you took yourself from this life. Do not be afraid to keep on living. You are not alone.
stereo typical.
Full of Ephedrine
stereo typical.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 42862
October 30th, 2014 at 04:08pm
C,

Day 3 of rebuilding a relationship with you and I'm so happy
You were my best friend and having you stop talking to me for no reason other than her hurt, it really did
The fact you apologised was big of you, I admire that and I can't put into words how happy I am we're friends again.

- Nicola.
andromeda;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
andromeda;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 69154
October 31st, 2014 at 06:06pm

Offline friends-

why do I bother with you guys. It's clear none of y'all give a shit about me or even think about including me in anything. so yeah. thanks assholes.

L
Frnk iero.
Awake and Unafraid
Frnk iero.
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 11746
October 31st, 2014 at 11:05pm
You.

I need you. So much more than I thought. Throw me a sign or something.

Megan
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
November 1st, 2014 at 09:52am
frnk iero.:
You.

I need you. So much more than I thought. Throw me a sign or something.



This times 1000
roseieroway
Salute You in Your Grave
roseieroway
Age: 22
Gender: -
Posts: 2068
November 3rd, 2014 at 11:33am
Me, you are worth so much more than cutting. Please, please, please, stop and get help. You are worth so much more than this, and I have to leave. Even while I'm gone, you need to hang in there.
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
November 3rd, 2014 at 08:06pm
CJ,
Since I'm too far gone in my depression to show you love, I'll just keep buying you things. Hope it works.
Vanessa
sad savior;
Wild Eyed Joker
sad savior;
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 85945
November 5th, 2014 at 07:11pm
future me,

i promise i will do everything i can for you. i want you to be healthy, fun, successful, kind, loving, adventurous, and brave. i will work on these things every day for you. you're with me till the end and i want the best for you. i will work on making you everything i want you to be, and i'll forgive myself if i fuck up sometimes, because i will be wiser. i can't wait to make you proud.
roseieroway
Salute You in Your Grave
roseieroway
Age: 22
Gender: -
Posts: 2068
November 6th, 2014 at 11:32am
danger dame,

you are an amazing gal. It has been so much fun chatting with u on here. Hope to get to know you better.

Forever Killjoy,

Rose