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Letters to Anyone

AuthorMessage
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
November 8th, 2014 at 04:07pm
Corey,
I'm sorry. I'm sure I'm not easy to deal with. Especially when I get like this. You know how I feel. I've always believed in telling people the honest truth. The honest truth is I love you. You know it, because Ive told you. I have to let it go. You don't make it easy however. You're so sweet. You're my light in the darkness. You're also my best friend. Have been for seven years. You're devilishly handsome. Whenever I tell myself it shouldn't be this hard, I'm reminded of why it is. I'm sorry, I hope I can make you proud. It just shouldn't be this hard getting over something you never had in the first place.
Vanessa
sad savior;
Wild Eyed Joker
sad savior;
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 85665
November 9th, 2014 at 06:57pm
eotc,

please get back together i miss and love you so much
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
November 9th, 2014 at 09:01pm
Corey,
You will always be my sunshine. My love. My reminder that I'm alive. My center of the universe. Your smile lights my world. Your very existence keeps mine going. I know that you're never gonna feel this way about me. I just wanna know how it feels to be embraced by you and it mean to you what it does to me. I wanna know if my fingers fit perfectly in yours. You're the best of me. I've never not loved you. My heart always wanted you. Seven years of wishing and wanting didn't make anything come true between you and I. But luckily, fate brought you to me and has so far let you stay. I cherish every moment with you. There are seven billion people in this world, and you were the one I was meant to find. I can say with confidence if we hadn't met, I wouldn't be here. When the world is caving in, you calm it down. I think about our past and present and can't help but be excited for the future. I'll probably never get the chance to know how it feels to be yours. I just don't wanna be anywhere if you're not there. Thinking of how amazing we could be, but knowing it's not in your plans. I've always wondered what would happen if I just stopped you mid-sentence and kissed you. Or whenever we're just sitting alone and hanging out. I wonder how amazing, or terrible, the outcome would be. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I just love you so much. And one day I'll be married. It'll be my worst day because it won't be to you. Maybe we're just a modern day version of Wuthering Heights. At the same time though, I'd rather us be where we are now and nothing change, rather than something happen and it ruin us. No matter what our futures hold, I just need us in each others lives.
Vanessa
stereo typical.
Full of Ephedrine
stereo typical.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 42862
November 10th, 2014 at 06:42am
C,

it meant a lot to me that you'd get involved in something stupid with me for the sake of it
I had a great time in fact. I've missed that sort of thing.
Thank you. This reminds me why your friendship has always been so important to me.

- Nicola.
roseieroway
Salute You in Your Grave
roseieroway
Age: 22
Gender: -
Posts: 2068
November 10th, 2014 at 12:47pm
<3
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
November 12th, 2014 at 03:33pm
Myself,
Just take the stupid internship opportunity. I know it's scary. It's scary because you aren't that good, and it may not last. You've been out of school for over a year, you only got this opportunity because of your grades. Your old teacher even said so. She wouldn't just randomly call if she didn't think you were worth it. It's still scary, I know. You were the worst stylist at school, and that will show in the real world. But you can't just avoid it because you're scared. It'll probably be a challenge, and your depression will be exacerbated. Just take the chance. Even if/when you do lose it because you lack skills, at least you can say you tried. That counts for something. But if I were you, I wouldn't quit your evening job. That would probably make things worse. Try your best to hang on to that. I know this isn't the relief you were hoping for, but maybe it's what you actually need. Just give it a shot. At least you know what to expect. It might be in your best interest to try this out.
Vanessa
roseieroway
Salute You in Your Grave
roseieroway
Age: 22
Gender: -
Posts: 2068
November 13th, 2014 at 09:54am
myself,
fuck what they say. fuck it. they say you can't be a waitress? SHOW them that you can be a fuckin' waitress. They say you're worthless? Do everything to prove them wrong. Remember. Fuck it!

Love,
Rose
polystyrene;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
polystyrene;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 69132
November 15th, 2014 at 03:12pm

offline friends-

thanks for actually including me today. It means a lot more than y'all probably realize and I hope this trend continues.

L
sad savior;
Wild Eyed Joker
sad savior;
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 85665
November 16th, 2014 at 01:39am
K-

i think you're a nice guy. i want to be friends with you and play music with you. but that's it. i seriously do not want anything more than that, and i feel a bit uncomfortable making conversation with you because i know how you feel and it makes me feel nervous. i want to talk to you and get to know you, but i do not want you to take it the wrong way. i'm not interested like that. soon i'm going to have to be completely blunt about it, i'm just not sure how to approach it.

H
roseieroway
Salute You in Your Grave
roseieroway
Age: 22
Gender: -
Posts: 2068
November 17th, 2014 at 09:49am
Everyone,
you are amazing, and it has been such a pleasure getting to know all of ya. Looking forward to many more years posting with you guys.
Love,
me
gnash
In the Cannibal Glow
gnash
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 52983
November 17th, 2014 at 02:01pm
ignore. wrong thread.
Frnk iero.
Awake and Unafraid
Frnk iero.
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 11746
November 19th, 2014 at 12:12am
Dear everyone,

As I just found out that Thanksgiving is next week, and therefor there's only about 6 more weeks until 2014 comes to a close, I just wanted to talk about my life and my journey this year.
It was an unexpected one.

I rang in last new years on the floor of my best friend's family's house, with a new job waiting for me the next morning, a boyfriend I was texting non-stop and my dad safely tucked in bed.

My life went pretty much as planned. Everyday I either went to work or stayed home playing video games and watching movies and cooking with my best friend. On thursdays we'd go to her moms and play apples to apples and eat leftovers. On Fridays we'd sleep in late and play video games until she left for her boyfriends, and I would usually go out and go shopping until I had to go to work. My life was simple. Everything was planned out for me, whether I made the plans or not.
Until May 30th. I was at work, delivering to an apartment village and as I got to the stoop to my delivery, i remember noting that it was getting awfully hot and I'd have to start wearing low-cut socks.
My phone rang. It was Kayla (my best friend) and I immediatly answered even though I shouldn't have. I was worried she was in danger, so I answered in a panicked tone.
She informed me that she was fine, and just needed to tell me something too important to text.
She was moving out, after three years. She was asked to move into her mothers and would appreciate my help, moving, in the morning.
"Sure. I'll just set my alarm for seven. I have to work at five." I chimed, all too egar to help her. She was family after all.
But silence fell over both of us and I began pacing. I knew somehting was brewing.
"Uhm. You moving out... thats.. We're okay, right? It's nothing to do with me, is it?" I asked.
"No. Of coufrse not" she assured for a good couple minutes. And we declared that this would be the begining of a new "us" and that we could use the space to get ahead in our respective careers.
We would finally be adults.

So, long story short, she moved out, and we grew too far apart and I became worried. I came over on June 8th to do laundry and get a shower because I hadn't had gas in my house for two months. My dad was severely behind on his bills.
We talked for a little bit until she reminded me that i needed to shower. However, while in the shower, a water pipe broke in the basement and accidently flooded her room. Her sketch books were ruined and she was furious.
I mistook her anger and thought she was upset with me for taking a shower, so we got into a very, very loud arguement that nearly shocked the hell out of her whole family.
She kicked me out. I, in tears, fumbled to call my manager so I could use her dryer and dry my poor wet clothes. I drove over to he rhouse and did that, and then took off for a long ride to get my nerves back.
They never came back.
I tried to speak to Kayla that night around midnight, but she was too upset and she called off our nine year friendship (we had been more than friends for 6 of those years and engaged for 1 of them) She claimed that she "regretted the past nine years" and told me to "have a nice life"
i lost it. I shut my laptop and put on shoes and called to my sleeping dad that I was going out, and I was going out to die. Or get lost.
My dad tried to stop me, but I pushed past him and ran out onto the street, running through the light traffic to get south. I had a half-ass plan to run to columbus, and another half ass plan to get hit by a car. But thanks to my commitment issues, I didn't know what to do.
So I begged God to just take me out, send the lightening bolt down.
I didn't know if I wanted to live or die. And I couldn't handle eihter one.
My co-worker drunkly butt dialed me and I explained it all to him, through tears. He encouraged me to go to the hospital and stay there until I felt safe.
So, because I was out of my mind, I did that. I ran to the hospital, where my dad (without me telling him much as to where i was) met up with me and sat with me until they admitted me in the back.
I was taken to hte mental ward the next morning, where I remember catching a glimpse of myself in a bathroom mirror and for hte first time, really looking at myself. I remember seeing a future in myself. One bigger than i could understand at that moment.

Now four and a half months after my hospital stay, I am still unstable at times and still panic now and then about being without the life i once knew. But, I have come to find my family. I have come to find faith. And I have come to find strength and determination, I never knew I had.

I haven't spoken to my grandfather in fourteen years, yet next week, I plan on going to visit him.
I became best friends with my grandmother, whom I never takled too much as a child.
I am in the process of booking two different shows (i.e. taking my first steps into the music industry)
I am half done writing and editing my first novel.
I am the owner of my own car.
I work a full time job.
I intern at a local concert club
I have lost 15 pounds in the past few months.
I created a real relationship with my dad. (we did not have a good one, before)
I visited and found the one place in the world that i belong. (NJ)
I met Frank.
He gets his own line because he is... He is the sun. He was always there for me when i was in high school and stuff. But I just see the whole world in his eyes. And I intend on being there for him, fan, friend or otherwise...forever.
And getting back to the list,
I had the oppertunity to look him in the eyes, dead in the eyes, and tell him that I will support him no matter where or what he does. That I am forever. That I love him with every single thing I have.... And he looked back at me with tears and told me thank you.
But I mean it.
I told Kayla, the last thing i said before i left her, was "I promise, if you'd just give me one more day, I will become a better person"
and I have.

You see. My point is, Don't give up. There is so many more things I've done the past four months alone. That I wouldn't have ever been able to do if I had just thrown in the towel.
Don't throw your life away.
Just rebuild.

reflectively,
Megan
roseieroway
Salute You in Your Grave
roseieroway
Age: 22
Gender: -
Posts: 2068
November 19th, 2014 at 09:18am
<3 megan we love you
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
November 19th, 2014 at 04:14pm
Myself,
Its scary. Trying to completely turn your life into something positive when all you know is negative is really scary. You can do it. Anything is possible. You get discouraged more often than not. Just know it'll be okay one day.
Vanessa

Not quite ready to write a letter like Megan's. It's beautiful though.
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
November 22nd, 2014 at 04:18pm
Spencer,
I miss you, more than a lot. I wish I had the money to come see you. One day.
Vanessa
gnash
In the Cannibal Glow
gnash
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 52983
November 24th, 2014 at 12:48pm
m,

i sincerely wish that i could do something for you right now, but i know that you probably just want to be left alone. i don't blame you. i haven't lost my father yet, but i can't even imagine what you must be experiencing at the moment. please just don't beat yourself up about it. it wasn't your fault.

- mandy
roseieroway
Salute You in Your Grave
roseieroway
Age: 22
Gender: -
Posts: 2068
November 24th, 2014 at 12:52pm
Haley,

I thought I was in love with you, I honestly did, but after seeing the ugly side of you, I am glad to have you out of my life. I miss you more than words can say, but i deserve better than you.

-rose
polystyrene;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
polystyrene;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 69132
November 25th, 2014 at 10:25pm

ex best friend.

I miss the fuck out of you. I want you back so bad. I want us to be friends again and have weird phone conversations until 3am when one of us will pass out. I want to take so many shots with you that we feel terrible the next morning and wonder why we drank so much (but do it again the next weekend anyways). I want to go over to your apartment at 1am and build a pillow fort with you. I want to watch terrible movies with you and make fun of them afterwards.

Basically, I want us to be friends again. I miss you so much. But I guess part of me has to realize that everything I wrote about before is over. You think I'm "too miserable to talk to lately". And I can't even deny that. But if that's really how you feel then I can't go back, as desperately as I want to. I wish things didn't have to end the way that they did, because your words really hurt and I can't just forget that.

I'm going to end this rant because I don't know what else to say anymore.

L
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
November 26th, 2014 at 09:30am
Justin,
I don't even know who you are. I've seen you on Facebook, and I think I've seen you out in town maybe once. You're on my Instagram, but as far as knowing you, I have no clue who you are. It's flattering that you think I'm cute. It really is, it made me smile. You're quite handsome yourself, if I'm honest. However, I'm already engaged and in far too deep. I'm sorry, I'm sure you're really sweet. I really would give you a chance.
Vanessa

CJ,
I just tolerate you anymore. I cant seem to find love. We have absolutely nothing in common. We have nothing to talk about. You ask for sex constantly, you can't stop touching me. You drink and I don't. You've gained so much weight since we met. You're incredibly unhealthy. You never really wanna go out unless we're going out to eat. Or going to see a movie you wanna see. I understand I'm incredibly boring, but at least I try to get into your interest. You don't try to understand my depression. It's not as simple as "just go see a doctor". I've tried to tell you how I feel, and you just don't get it. I've tried to tell you I think I need to be alone so I can fix myself, but you wouldn't have it. I'm gonna marry you and be miserable cause I can't break free. We've been together three years and it's always been like this. Fucking act like you wanna fix us.
Vanessa
roseieroway
Salute You in Your Grave
roseieroway
Age: 22
Gender: -
Posts: 2068
November 26th, 2014 at 09:32am
Jack,
you need to grow a pair and stop feeding lies to your girlfriend. Haley deserves better than you. Stop being such a pussy.
Rose