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Letters to Anyone

AuthorMessage
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
May 7th, 2015 at 03:29pm
D,
Nice to know that anything I do wont be enough. Anything short of 90 hours a week wont ever be enough. I have to be just like you, don't I? I don't wanna be like you. You just scoffed when I told you I got more hours at work this week. So much for thinking you'd be proud.
Vanessa
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
May 24th, 2015 at 05:09pm
C,
I will always love you. You will always be my shooting star, and the reason I'm able to get out of bed. But I have to let the romantic part of it go. I think this is it.
Vanessa
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
May 25th, 2015 at 08:38pm
Brandon,
I like you so much. I wish you lived closer, or at least it was easier to visit. Just to be able to hop on a plane and come right on over. It'd be magic.
Vanessa
sad savior;
Wild Eyed Joker
sad savior;
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 85665
May 26th, 2015 at 03:10am
T,

Please think about someone other than yourself. You'd think having four children would help you realize that the world doesn't revolve around you, but I guess narcissism will do that to you.
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
May 27th, 2015 at 09:19pm
Brandon,
I'm sorry if I come on too strong. I know you say I don't, I'm choosing to trust that you're being honest. I'm also choosing to believe it when you say you like me just as much as I like you. I can only hope this is truly as amazing as it seems.
Vanessa
sad savior;
Wild Eyed Joker
sad savior;
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 85665
June 9th, 2015 at 08:48pm
The Band WAYT -

I'm not leaving. I haven't been on much due to my grandpa passing away and it's been very tough for me. I love all of you a lot but 90% of the time I feel like I don't have anything to say and it doesn't have anything to do with anyone. It's not that I don't feel included. I just... don't have anything to say. Normally I'll just post whatever's going on in my head but lately it's just too painful to do that. I don't want to deal with what's going on in my head because I'd never lost a loved one before until last week. I'm dealing with a lot of grief and until I'm ready to write my thoughts down I just can't analyze them. It's just much too painful for me to conversate too much right now. I heal by being alone, and I've been almost smothered by people in real life lately so that's enough social interaction for me at this moment. I tried lurking the WAYT today and it was just really upsetting to me for some reason. I really love all of you and I'll probably still come in the chamber and games and trivia every once in a while. When I feel up to it I'll post in the WAYT. I'm just really not stable enough for conversation right now. If you need me you know how to contact me.
Love yall. xox
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
June 14th, 2015 at 04:53pm
INO,
I took a very brief "break", not that anyone noticed, but it's been hell the past few months. Especially the past few days. I finally got the courage to leave my fiance. For those of you who have read some of the things I've posted in the past, it was a very rocky relationship. And so far it's been okay. I've gotten emotional about it a little bit, but I keep trying to remind myself that it was for the best. We both needed to be happy. While I was going through the process, I met someone. A guy named Brandon. He was (and still is imo) the sweetest guy on this earth. He is a Youtuber, and we met via Instagram. We got really close really quickly and everything was seemingly perfect. Until he randomly texted me one night saying he wanted to cut off all contact. He didnt want a relationship, and he felt like we were in one. (we both flirted very hard with each other, no complaints from him) He said we couldn't talk anymore because he doesn't think he can stop flirting with me. I took it very hard, and am still hurting over it. We haven't spoken since, and I've deleted (almost) everything that connected us. We went from everything to nothing in, literally, just a few hours. A few days ago, I went to a hiking trail not too far from my house. I went with the intention of jumping off the edge and into some rocks. The pain is very real. I had written goodbye notes and left them in my car. I had been texting a friend a few hours prior, but didn't tell her my plans. I hinted at it the night before, but didn't go into detail. I only told her I was going for a walk. I didn't tell her suicide was on my mind. I made it about halfway to the waterfall, and something stopped me in my tracks. I dont know what it was, but something told me to turn around. So I did, I made it back down the mountain to the entrance to the nature trail. I went down that path, but this time, I felt the urge to jump again. There are a few off-the-trail fishing areas that are pretty high up with rocks underneath. I climbed up the first little barrier, but couldn't make it past that. I just looked down and cried. I just walked back up the trail, and walked down to the creek. I sat on a rock and contemplated life. After about 30 minutes, I walked back to my car, and drove away. I'm not sure why I'm telling you guys this, I guess I just felt like telling someone. I've since added 2 suicide helpline numbers in my phone, and vowed to myself to call when/if the hopeless feeling arises again. I really hope I'm able to get better.
Vanessa
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
June 16th, 2015 at 05:18pm
Corey,
You're all I need. Not even necessarily in a romantic sense. I've accepted that will never happen. You're just all I need in general. Thank you for being there.
Vanessa
hedge bitch;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
hedge bitch;
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 65427
June 19th, 2015 at 01:03am
J
I can't change things. They're going to be the way they are. I think I'll have to take those words to heart more than you though.
K.K.
Bleeding on the Floor
K.K.
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 1787
June 21st, 2015 at 08:36pm
Dear Vanessa here on INO,
After I read your letter, I felt like I had to write something. Especially since I have been noticing what you've been writing, and it's clear that you've been having lot's of Problems.
I'm sorry that you feel the way you feel, I'm sorry that you were thinking of comitting suicide, and that you have or had the Feeling that you have no Body 'else' to talk to than maybe some 'strangers' on an Internet site. Your life is a big deal. I can, and could see that you've been struggling a lot... Venting a lot on this site, and I have been there, you know, attempting or thinking of attempting suicide.... What helped me personally was believing in God and trying to become a better 'Muslim' which I am, just so you know.. but also having loved ones in my life, and purposes, things that I could or had to live for as Long as I do not die a natural death....
Think of it this way... Life is shitty, but suicide probably won't fix your Problems anyway.. from a religious perspective you 'might' or will even go to hell which would be pretty horrible. But being alive everything can still Change, or at least Feelings Change...
One day we'll all have to die anyway, so why don't we just try to make the best of life, so at least we know that we have tried and that we did not 'give up' or take 'the easy way out'...
Hey I'm sorry, I hope I helped you a Little,
If you want you can write me you know for someone pretty much anonymous to talk to who has been through some things...
Take care,
K
Billie Joe.
Crash Queen
Billie Joe.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 30939
July 5th, 2015 at 07:59am
S,
I've moved on.
I still think about you sometimes, I still care about you.
But I've moved on.
And I feel so much better without you.

Sara
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
July 12th, 2015 at 07:11am
You,
Please, whatever hold you have on me, please let go. I know it's not your fault, but I need you to get out of my head. It's getting impossible to function.
Vanessa
hedge bitch;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
hedge bitch;
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 65427
August 23rd, 2015 at 08:02pm
Hollie,
I want to thank you for being by my side, through the internet, in losing weight. What you've done is amazing, and you look great, and that should never be downplayed. But I don't think I could have done what I've done without you. I've tried countless times, but it wasn't until we got started together at the beginning of the year, and Jenni being a part of it too, that I finally started to see some success. You're probably the push I needed every time I just wanted to be lazy. So again, thank you.
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
August 25th, 2015 at 02:52pm
G,
I'm truly happy, and you're the reason. Thank you for your love. It's incredible.
Vanessa
Universe.
Generation Nothing
Universe.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 126288
August 26th, 2015 at 11:18pm
dear y
good to know how much of a friend you were. but if that's how you want it then it's fine by me, i just wish you could have acted in a more of a mature way. out of all the people to have left, i didn't think you were gonna be the one.


dear -
Its been months now and i do think of you from time to time, i've been good at being alone, honestly i've just been trying to keep going. I don't know whether i want you to be happy or not, but it's whatever, it was too much shit anyway. sometimes i wish you were still miserable. maybe you still are, but every day I care less and less about you, which is good. the memories are there but very vague now. I wish he didn't speak to you though because you are still trash, but it is what it is.
amo.
Damned After All
amo.
Age: 30
Gender: -
Posts: 105346
September 10th, 2015 at 12:08am
Dear Jaz,
I love you. I hope you know that. After what you told me today, my heart hurts for you. I've never told you how much of an amazing person you are. You're truly amazing and I hope you take that. No man is worth changing for, especially if he won't so the same. I hope you figure things out and know that whatever you decide to do, I'll support you no matter what. You've always been my favorite sister.

-Jen
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
September 10th, 2015 at 05:38am
Granger,
Thank you. For everything.
Vanessa
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Richey Edwards.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507
September 29th, 2015 at 05:45pm
Daddy Dearest,
Fuck off. For the sake of my sanity, just fuck off. You've done some pretty shitty things before, but this one takes the cake. I don't see how mom puts up with your shit. Go rot.
Vanessa
hedge bitch;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
hedge bitch;
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 65427
September 30th, 2015 at 12:13am
person
I've reached the point where I'll never be able to take anything you say seriously. No one can say anything with you getting defensive. You're just as disgusting as all the people you act like you're better than, and I hope karma catches up with you soon.
Me
west coast baby.
Killjoy
west coast baby.
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2
November 1st, 2015 at 11:39pm
Dear INO,
I've missed you.