My little MCR Musical

So I do this thing where I write musicals using other bands music (Kinda like the musical Mama Mia) and then I post them on sites like this. It still needs a name, and it would be greatly aprriciated if you all told me what you thought of it so here's Act one, scene one.

Look Alive Sunshine

(Curtains open on a dark, unlit stage until the light in the radio room flips on. Helena (H) is in the radio booth, with her headphones on and leans into the mic.)
H as Dr.Death Defying: Look alive, Sunshine… 109 in the sky but the pigs won't quit, You're here with me: Dr. Death Defying. I'll be your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter, Pumpin' out the slaughtermatic sounds to keep you alive. A system failure for the masses, anti-matter for the master plan! Louder than God's revolver and twice as shiny. This one's for all of you rock'n'rollers, All you crash queens and motor babies, Listen up!
(Scene)

I know this one was really short, but it's one of the shortest songs they made, and the next one will be longer, I promise.

Act One, Scene Two
Na Na Na

(The radio room is still lit and The Killjoy’s enter the chill room. Party Poison (P) and Kolbra Kid (K) go down into the office, which lights as they enter. Jet-Star (J) and Fun Ghoul (F), stay in the chill room. F turns on the stereo and J gets some bottles from the cabinet.)
H: The future is bulletproof! The aftermath is secondary, It's time to do it now and do it loud. Killjoys, make some noise!
(H runs out of the booth, down the ladder, (room lights as she goes) and exits through her bedroom door)
F/J: Na Na Na (x14)
J: Drugs, Gimme drugs, Gimme drugs, I don't need it. But I'll sell what you got, Take the cash and I'll keep it. Eight legs to the wall.
F: Hit the gas!
(H enters)
H: Kill 'em all!
Trio: And we crawl (x3)
J: You be my detonator!
(F is pulling H closer as he sings)
F: Love, Gimme love, Gimme love. I don't need it, but I'll take what I want from your heart, and I'll keep it, in a bag.
H: In a box!
J: Put an X on the floor!
Trio: Gimme more! (x3)
F: Shut up and sing it with me!
(They kiss)
Trio: Na (x7)
F: From mall security
Trio: Na (x7)
H: To every enemy
Trio: Na (x7)
J: We're on your property
Trio: Standing in V formation
(Stand in a V momentary then dance away)
Trio: Na (x7)
F: Let's Blow an artery
Trio: Na (x7)
H: Eat plastic surgery
Trio: Na (x7)
J: Keep your apology
Trio: Give us more detonation!
F/J: More! Gimme more! Gimme more!
(All take a drink, and then H gets up and stands on the couch while the boys kneel in front of the couch.)
H: Oh, let me tell ya 'bout the sad man. Shut up and let me see your jazz hands…
(Boys clap 4 times)
H: (To J) remember when you were a madman?
H: (To F) Thought you was BATMAN!
H: (To J) and hit the party with a gas can!
H: (To F) Kiss me you animal!
(H jumps into F’s arms and they kiss)
Trio: Na (x7)
F: You run the company
Trio: Na (x7)
H: F*ck like a Kennedy
Trio: Na (x7)
J: I think we'd rather be
Trio: Burning your information
Trio: Na (x7)
F: Let's Blow an artery
Trio: Na (x7)
H: Eat plastic surgery
Trio: Na (x7)
J: Keep your apology
Trio: Give us more detonation!
F: Though I hear, Right now, All the way in Battery City, The Little children raised their open filthy palms, like tiny daggers up to heaven.
J: And all the juvee halls, And the Ritalin rats, Ask angels made from neon and fucking garbage, Scream out "What will save us?", And the sky opened up…
H: Everybody wants to change the world, everybody wants to change the world, but no one, no one wants to die.
F/J: Wanna try, wanna try, wanna try, wanna try, wanna try, now
H: I'll be your detonator!
(Guitar solo)
(All dance and drink till the end of the guitar solo then freeze)
Trio: Na! (x11)
(Na’s continue in the background)
F: Make no apology
H: It's Death or Victory
J: On my authority
Trio: Crash and burn, Young and loaded
F: Drop like a bulletshell
H: Dress like a sleeper cell, I'd rather go to hell, Then be in purgatory.
J: Cut my hair, Gag and bore me.
F: Pull this pin, Let this world explode.
(On “explode” they all plop on the couch. P and K enter the room.)
(Scene)

There's scene 2, please comment if you read it :]

This Is F**** Awsome

Thanks, I have 2 more scenes written, (teenagers and planetary) so i'll try to type those out soon :]

ho...lee...crap cupcakes....
MORE SOON PLEASE O_O

I will, i'm on scene 7 now cause I write during class :]

This is continued directly from the previous scene btw..

(J, F, and H try and hide the bottles but P grabs H's bottle)
P: Whats going on?
(The trio look away)
P: Don't make me ask again.
(The room is silent.)
P: (Sighs) Fine. If no one wants to talk then go to your rooms.
(The teens start to argue)
P: Now.
(Beaten, the 3 exit the room and go to J & F's bedroom. H & F sit on F's bed and J sits on his own.)
H: God why can't he see we're not kids anymore?
P: God why can't they see they're still kids and not nearly old enough to be drinking?
K: Cause they're still just kids.
H: It's not like we're still just kids.
J: We're teenagers for crying out loud...
H: They’re gonna clean up your looks with all the lies in the books, to make a "citizen" out of you.
J: Because they sleep with a gun, and keep an eye on you, son, so they can watch all the things you do.
(H Stands up)
H: Because the drugs never work,
(J stands)
J: They’re gonna give you a smirk,
H/J: Cause they’ve got methods of"keeping you clean".
(H grabs F's bottle, clinks hers with J's and they both drink)
J: They’re gonna rip up your heads..
H: Your aspirations to shreds!
H/J: Another cog in the murder machine.
(During this, K is trying to calm P down a little)
Trio: They said that
All: Teenagers scare the living shit out of me! They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed. So darken your clothes, and strike a violent pose, maybe they’ll leave you alone, but not me.
(For the rest of the scene the trio is relaxing and "talking" silently)
P: You know, maybe she's not such a little girl anymore...
K: Who? Helena? Party, she's 17. And from what i've seen, tired of watching this fight from the sidelines.
P: (Sigh) I know, but how do you expect me to just step aside and let my baby girl fight on the front line? Especially after what happened with Jenny...
K: Are you blind? That was 14 years ago! Plus she's a better shot than Ghoul, Stelthier than you, shes faster than Jet, and maybe even a bit more clever than I am...
P: Thats humble Kolbra...
K: You know what I mean...
P: I'm your big brother, I always know what you mean.
K: So you'll let her?
P: I'm not so sure about that just yet.
(K gets up and throws his hands up in exasperation)
P: Whats wrong?
(K crosses and gets another bottle, clinking it with H's bottle that P is still holding.)
K: You're my big bro, and I love you to death...
(K takes a drink)
K: But you need to relax.
(K hits a button on the stereo.
(End of Scene 3)

To be continued.. :]

Keep this up, it's good. I'd pay money to see this! Like how you've added Helena in you should bring in Korse at some point to bring vilianary to the musical.

I do need a villian, but it was just gonna be a threatening force that never really has a definite charactor, but it would be nice to have a name to go along with it, so I might just use that idea :]
And thanks by the way