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the vent thread

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vacant alleyWAYS
Salute You in Your Grave
vacant alleyWAYS
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2990
March 30th, 2016 at 12:55am
omgsh becca!! I actually do act immature like you were suggesting, when things get too overwhelming for me. I mean like, sometimes it's the only way those people will understand! am i right!? idk. It really has to have me at my wits end, because most times I will just well...complain? ah, I know this is like not much better. oh man, if you seriously find a good coping method for these difficult people, let me know. On my better days I do just try to feel sympathy for these people, love them despite it all,...but not expect anything from them.

If you haven't said anything to her yet, maybe you should. Actually, that's what I would do, say what I feel...but sometimes that backfires to some degree (they deny the issue or think you're over-reacting. (rolls eyes) But sometimes it doesn't and or at least it's out in the open. If for some reason you have to go away for awhile, (like ignore this person or stop talking to them) well then, at least you gave them a hint, you know?

Now, for my "rant"...actually, I'm pretty good right now, except that I do get what becca's going through. Um but...hmm actually, I have something, but I think I'd better get my thoughts together first....

but yeah! why do some people have to make US feel like we're the problem, and not accept that THEY might be partly to blame!?!
vacant alleyWAYS
Salute You in Your Grave
vacant alleyWAYS
Age: -
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Posts: 2990
March 30th, 2016 at 01:02am
oh, okay so I guess my thing kindof has to do with what I forgot to add in there

*feel sympathy, forgive and but not expect...but the thing is, then I love them and just feel...sad??? yeah, so I guess my "vent" is that. This thing that I'm trying to work out for a few months now....I guess it's still better than anger though.
Thnks fr th vnm
Demolition Lover
Thnks fr th vnm
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 15766
April 26th, 2016 at 01:56am
I'm getting utterly tired of having all these wonderful delusions that actually give me hope for the future then rising out of my psychosis and realizing none of it's true; my life sucks just as much as it did last time I was doing "well".
hedge bitch;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
hedge bitch;
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 68125
May 29th, 2016 at 01:05am
That's right. Nobody cares.
Why do I bother if no one gives a shit about me and they just pretend to.
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
brother nero;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778
June 4th, 2016 at 09:15pm
I just couldn't cope keeping going with any of it while it seemed like you could go at any moment when you meant something to me. I know you didn't want commitment, that didn't bother me, I just wanted some kind of relationship so it felt less like I'd lose you. I guess we both just confused the fuck out of each other, maybe I wanted the emotional side more and you wanted the other side more. Not that we didn't cross over sometimes. This doesn't get any less confusing...

brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
brother nero;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778
June 12th, 2016 at 01:51pm
single and unemployed again. livin' the dream.
andromeda;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
andromeda;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 69183
July 18th, 2016 at 10:06pm

being in love with a drug addict sucks. I'm mourning someone who's still alive and there aren't any words to describe it. and the worst part?? he's still in denial that he needs help. last time I saw him and I asked him what happened he was v vague and indirect and he clearly has no intentions of getting better. but it's too fucking late for me to bail. I'm in way too deep. even if I cut off contact I'm always gonna worry that he's dead, and if there was something i could have done. but it's stressing me out seeing him drugged outta his mind. every night I cry myself to sleep over him and it can't be healthy.

idk what to say. I wish there was something that could save someone who doesn't wanna be saved. words aren't enough. love isn't enough. but what is??
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
brother nero;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778
August 20th, 2016 at 08:16am
I fucking wanted you. Not your body.
You knew that.
Now I'm fucking devastated and I don't know why I'm heartbroken over someone who didn't want a relationship with me. I'm angry with myself for not getting over you. And I'm confused because I swear to god we could have made it work. Maybe I'm just not fucking good enough.
28/8
Although let's be honest, you manipulated me into feeling a certain way, and I've felt like shit for months as a result of that. It's taken me far too long to realise that as well.


brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
brother nero;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778
August 29th, 2016 at 04:37pm
I think I'm going crazy.
hedge bitch;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
hedge bitch;
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 68125
September 10th, 2016 at 11:39am
There's a cute, funny, generally great guy who I train with who had freely admitted to never wanting kids. Why does he fucking have to already have a girlfriend?!?!?!
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
brother nero;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778
September 18th, 2016 at 01:40pm
I have no idea what to do. Sometimes I miss you so much, but the rest of the time I'm just pissed off and know we can't be anything. I could never hate you or want you upset, but I get so angry and feel like you manipulated me and you blame everything on me and don't care about anyone or anything as long as you get what you want. Why should I give a fuck about someone who is just unstable, unpredictable, self centered and obnoxious when they don't get what they want?

Part of me thinks you're despicable, and part of me thinks you're perfect. And either way you don't change and I can't stop thinking about you.


andromeda;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
andromeda;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 69183
September 19th, 2016 at 11:20pm
I fucked up. I LITERALLY fucked up so bad. I never should have slept with you. yeah I was high, but not high enough to not realize that there would be consequences. and I kinda knew it would be this way, that you would never wanna speak to me again, but fuck, now that it's actually happening it hurts so bad. why did I I have to sleep with you. even tho I had feelings I'd much rather have you as just a friend than not at all.

and then there's the even worse possibility, the one where you aren't actually mad at me but you're back on heroin. that's what's scaring me the most. even if we never speak again I need to know you're somewhere out there. the world would be darker without you in it.

idk if any of this makes sense, but my heart is breaking.
vacant alleyWAYS
Salute You in Your Grave
vacant alleyWAYS
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2990
September 20th, 2016 at 04:08am
well, so speaking of anxiety and...well, remember funny guy, how he is so active one day and then a day like today, he pops in and out but is quiet? Well...thing is, he and I were actively chatting last night (night before) and well cuz he said something that just pressed a button for me. I dont mind the playful teasing, but this is one issue that just cant be crossed, and I have told him a few times. Anyway, so I was saying it again, in public with him and he is defending it, and well I said some possibly difficult to swallow things, well he had left by then or...or because I had to...anyway, so I was like trying to reply and I wrote something and I THINK he saw it, but didnt respond, but I said I was erasing it and after I saw he came on and gave some time, well I deleted it. It is possible he didnt see it, but now I dont know. I did make another response, but idk. He has been quiet ALL day and I just did my status check, although apparently I did something else that upset THAT girl "friend" ofmine and she butted into my post to him. I have not been back since, I am so hurt by it. Ugh such drama over there! I mean I am fine with the guys (before last night, I mean he and I have always given it and taken shit from each other all fine) but the girls over there...it is just high school all over again. I mean, slightly different, but basically each girl for herself. Why can't girls have "bro code"?! It is such a pain trying to please all of them whilst being myself. I just relate better to the guys, but I just can't put up with this shit anymore!
hedge bitch;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
hedge bitch;
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 68125
September 25th, 2016 at 09:21pm
I am so sick of being someone other people can't make time for
vacant alleyWAYS
Salute You in Your Grave
vacant alleyWAYS
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2990
September 30th, 2016 at 02:00pm
Haha I am such an idiot!

that is all!

Razz
on birds and glass
Always Born a Crime
on birds and glass
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 5177
October 5th, 2016 at 12:29am
I want a redo
sad savior;
Wild Eyed Joker
sad savior;
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 86207
October 14th, 2016 at 08:55pm
I just feel completely blown away at how God has worked miracles in my life just in the past few months. I know I'm on the right path and it's such a bizarre feeling to know that I'm in the exact right place I'm supposed to be right now. And I just feel like so many of my dreams are happening. My favorite band got back together after years of feeling like there was no chance ever, there are new Harry Potter movies coming out, I have a car now, and most of all I'm in school to work towards a career that I know I want (or that I still feel like I want right now anyway) and I have a love interest. All of this happened at the same time, seriously within the span of about two months. I've never been so happy. I'm so thankful.
Thnks fr th vnm
Demolition Lover
Thnks fr th vnm
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 15766
December 6th, 2016 at 08:43pm
urgefewbvfleshdlEWDGFEWL
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
brother nero;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778
December 15th, 2016 at 03:44pm
WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO BURDEN ME WITH THEIR FUCKING DRAMA?!!!!!???

If you're family, a super close friend, or we're dating, then fine. If not, please don't.

stay away;
In the Cannibal Glow
stay away;
Age: 25
Gender: -
Posts: 54733
January 10th, 2017 at 03:32pm
fuck anyone who works in mental health who has never had a mental illness, this mentally ill bitch is coming for blood