Satisfy

All these rude words, all these lies.
All of them meant to crucify.
I hate the voice, it hurts my brain.
The sense of failure’s driving me insane.
I want to tell her how I feel,
Something to prove an adequate meal.
For her hunger of a thousand beasts.
My heart’s been pressed, it’s permanently creased.
I would if I could but I can’t so I won’t.
These angers inside, screaming “Please, damn it, don’t!”
I’m afraid that my voice, quiet shy, won’t be heard,
Lost in the storm of her expectations.
My emotions are blank yet seem to be stirred,
By the things she demands, bringing my adaptations.
I’m obviously not the daughter she wanted.
Yet my mind never stops, never ceases be haunted.
I want her to know me like I was her own,
But won’t open her eyes as if they are sewn.
I’m beginning to wonder if all this is worth it,
If all that I want is to lie and to lie.
But now I know what it is that I wanted.
She will never see, but I need
To satisfy.