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Take A Deep Breath And Put Your Head Between Your Knees.

AuthorMessage
Sid
Salute You in Your Grave
Sid
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2065
June 23rd, 2008 at 05:15pm
Hello. It's been a while people. Well, I'll keep this short and just give y'all a couple of old ones I dug out when I was saving all my stuff.

IGNORE THAT ^

I deleted these poems as I do not think they show the best of my ability. If you really want to see them to know what the comments are reffering to, just ask and I'll send them. Either way, my latest stuff is at the bottom of the page.
Sick love to you all <3
<3
Sid
Salute You in Your Grave
Sid
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2065
June 23rd, 2008 at 05:25pm
This one is new. Some people just won't skip your mind, you know?


Broken Record

Have you looked in the mirror?
Did you like what you saw?
Lying to yourself will only make it hurt more.

Hands growing pale,
Heart getting staler.
You wear disdain perfectly as if fitted by a tailor.

Are you happy?
Are you living?
Has she stopped receiving and started giving?

I shouldn't really ask,
It's not really my turn,
And I don't even really deserve a chance to learn.

I am a child.
You are a man.
Is it wrong I think it's right to know that's bad?

But I just wanted to say
It's okay to be untrue.
And I will always and forever unconditionally love you.
Tilly and the Wall
Bleeding on the Floor
Tilly and the Wall
Age: 31
Gender: -
Posts: 1850
June 27th, 2008 at 10:51am
Hmmm, I like the Wal-Mart poem, it's really deep =D somehow you just always manage to do that, put in a lot of raw emotion subtly.
Tilly and the Wall
Bleeding on the Floor
Tilly and the Wall
Age: 31
Gender: -
Posts: 1850
June 27th, 2008 at 10:51am

I also like your new one, it rhymes just right. Again, more subtle emotion but I like the thought behind it, just so smooth-moving but also written with style so that it's not cliched.
Tilly and the Wall
Bleeding on the Floor
Tilly and the Wall
Age: 31
Gender: -
Posts: 1850
June 27th, 2008 at 10:51am
Excited enough to doublepost. Surprised
Pansy Wayero
Jazz Hands
Pansy Wayero
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 372
June 27th, 2008 at 11:36am
i like your wal-mart poem. its pretty cool. i liked the raw emotion in it. and i think your new poem is good
Sid
Salute You in Your Grave
Sid
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2065
July 5th, 2008 at 09:20am
Thank y'all <3
And now for something new:


Beg

Confetti is streaming out your eyes
And I promised myself, tonight we would really start living.
That was the fatal blow I inflicted upon myself,
Like a driver, who’s over the limit, it could go either way.
I started to sway,
Your queue to walk away.
Please say something.

Sea salt crystals and tobacco fall through the air
And I’m clutching my purse tightly to my side.
It is a meaningless effort –you wouldn’t touch me.
And yet, I felt my chest lightly fluttering,
Recollection is hard, was I slurring or stuttering?
Let’s take some drugs and cut the cake,
I’ll fill my stomach to ease this subtle heart break.
Don’t sleep just yet

I’ll scratch a while, when no one is looking.
Was I imagining what had happened before?
Those silent gestures, those whispers of requited love,
Being filtered through the cacophony of reality.
Life makes so much more sense when you’re staring down an empty bottle of Jack.
Stay a little longer,
Tell the angels to wait a while.
They can wait for you,
They can wait for us.
.
Sid
Salute You in Your Grave
Sid
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2065
July 8th, 2008 at 09:56pm
Untitled As Of Yet

Gasoline heart is leaking,
Threatened by an unlit match.
So set the world on fire,
And make yourself detatched.

My soul reeks,
My perfume's stale.
I'm setting myself up,
For the inevitable fail.

Do you remember the day,
We acted so fiendish?
All roped up in blood,
We made ourselves so squeamish.

We enjoyed the show vigorously,
Vigorously too much.
Exaggeraing details,
Lingering the touch.

If years were as long as days,
Would we throw away the clocks?
And lose track of time,
to suffocate the shock?

Or shall we remain naive,
Ignorant and busy?
Revelling in intoxication,
Pimped, whored and dizzy?

Life is a shooting star:
Beautiful, fast, hot and strong.
But stop paying attention for a second,
Blink and then it's gone.



Feedback?
blow
Bleeding on the Floor
blow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 1137
July 8th, 2008 at 11:15pm
I really like the first and last stanzas. They have great metaphors.
Overall I think it has a very nice flow. There are a few things that confused me. (confused isn't really the right word, but I can't think of what would be the right word)
In the fourth line of the third stanza the the so really interrupts the flow of the poem.
And in the first line of the fifth stanza I feel like it should be the other way around.
If days where as long as years instead of
If years were as long as days.
I don't know, that's just what I thought.
Great poem. Good job.
Sid
Salute You in Your Grave
Sid
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2065
July 17th, 2008 at 10:46pm
Brain Riot

I just want to pet your throat,
Only for a little while.
And somebody is screaming.
And you’re telling me it’s an echo.
I don’t want to hold your hand anymore,
I’m feeling kind of pregnant.

End of part.
I’m bored of the start.

We started this pursuit,
With a public street brawl.
And life’s an open hand.
And all I see are liars.
Are you going to bitch me out now?
Are you going to tuck me up at night?

Interval gives the principle.

Flicking through the TV stations,
All we watch is static.
And our lives reflect the screen.
And you’re beautiful as ever.
Light makes you look porcelain,
Even if it flickers.

Now it’s the ending,
Let’s begin mending.
Sid
Salute You in Your Grave
Sid
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2065
February 18th, 2009 at 08:45pm
Wow, it's been a while.
BUT I'M BACK.

And I’ve got a mouth full of metal.
And there’s hectic in my blood.
I’ve got a heavy conscience,
I’m prepping for the flood.
My mind’s got sinister motives
My body’s in reverse.
Everything’s repeated,
Everything’s perverse.

She’s bleeding out feathers,
The crying won’t stop.
Her temperature’s low,
She’s brimming at the top.
Someone covered the mirrors,
You said you’d let me off the hook.
Pupils are dilating,
Bringing back the innocence that was took.

And in the other room,
I can hear them talking.
Muffled and aggressive,
Someone’s close to walking.
A door goes unlocked,
One I’m too afraid to open.
My penance is behind it,
Merciful, I am hoping.

I forced on this ignorant bliss,
I am going to stay behind.
Sealing my own fate,
Blanking out my mind.
I am not progressing.
I have come to a plateau.
And until I can accept,
I will have nothing to know.
Sid
Salute You in Your Grave
Sid
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2065
March 9th, 2009 at 02:51pm
Nobody reads this shit anyway.

Some days my fists shake. And I just get so... angry. Even when the sun is out and I’m an academic success. It burns out my energy. I don’t sleep as much anymore. And I am tired all the time. It’s either all too frenzied or staccato and disjointed and I just wish I could wash it all away with a scream. A scream that will be heard this time. A scream so loud it will silence them all and then they will just... listen. I sit here with the world at my fingertips and all I want to do is go upstairs and pierce my wrists. I want crimson glory, slow and drawn out, reassurance of my courage. Or to fall from the banister, caught by a rope wound round and round and round. I could swallow a bullet and do a trick where it comes out the back of the my head or just climb all the way to the top only to fall.
And then I feel pain. And I see my mother’s face and guiltily wish there was no love so I could do it all. But then I just tell myself to stop being ungrateful, go upstairs and sleep it off. Let it bubble down and simmer in the pit of your stomach. Save it all for another time.
Sid
Salute You in Your Grave
Sid
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2065
July 2nd, 2009 at 05:54pm
Cheap kicks
Dirty thrills
Your mental wiring's set to kill.

Private schooled
Enjoys a drink
Concerned with what the others think.

You'll get a job
It pays the rent
A couple of lines are heaven sent.

Marry some girl
Have some kids
The past is all that you've hid.

They'll grow up
Then you'll die
Watch the world you left untouched from the sky.