Lust For Love

Author	Message
lonergirl007 Killjoy Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 45	January 5th, 2010 at 04:13pm My soul grips onto my heart just by the sound of your voice My heart suffocates when I see your body My body chemically reacts to your eyes, your devilish look I bite my lip, when I think of yours And when we touch it is silent So silent I should scream The silence of your touch is too much I release my grip and turn away to give my heart a break But my soul doesn’t stop I can feel your stare pierce me through I want to jump on you Your flawless skin is untouchable Do I dare break your purity? I have respect for you so I won’t try But I’m always open for you I sit and hope that you will break my walls of purity During every dreadful goodbye
misa misa. Shotgun Sinner Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 8241	January 7th, 2010 at 04:24am Hey You really captured the angst and longing of the subject in this piece. Very emotional. Just one tip: don't be afraid of using punctuation as well as line breaks, it can help with your expression, create emphasis, breaks and aid flow. Apart from that, good work.

Author

Message

lonergirl007
Killjoy

Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 45

January 5th, 2010 at 04:13pm

My soul grips onto my heart
just by the sound of your voice
My heart suffocates
when I see your body
My body chemically reacts
to your eyes, your devilish look
I bite my lip, when I think of yours
And when we touch it is silent
So silent I should scream
The silence of your touch is too much
I release my grip and turn away
to give my heart a break
But my soul doesn’t stop
I can feel your stare pierce me through
I want to jump on you
Your flawless skin is untouchable
Do I dare break your purity?
I have respect for you so I won’t try
But I’m always open for you
I sit and hope that you will break
my walls of purity
During every dreadful goodbye

misa misa.
Shotgun Sinner

Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 8241

January 7th, 2010 at 04:24am

Hey
You really captured the angst and longing of the subject in this piece.
Very emotional.
Just one tip: don't be afraid of using punctuation as well as line breaks, it can help with your expression, create emphasis, breaks and aid flow.
Apart from that, good work. Smile

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