Untitled.

I'm giving this to a really special friend of mine because we're graduating soon. It's alright if you don't get some parts, it's kind of an inside thing.

I actually wrote three separate poems but I thought I'd try combining them.

I really don't write much poetry so please let me know what you think, and any suggestions you might have. Here it is:
(sorry it's kinda long)

"untitled."

I owe you the world
And all the words I will ever write
Every profound thought on paper
Worth a second of your time
If it’s alright with you, that is
Though I don’t think I’m all that good at this game,
It’s not like someone nearly as brilliant will come along
And then everything will be fine
And all was forgotten

You are impossible to replace
Like yesterday or a breath
Until time machines exist and I keep going back
Two years ago, so I could remember to tell you
Or maybe fourteen years ago and travel to you
When you were sixteen and I was barely human,
Just hours away
I would ask you about everything
And we would talk about hating the world
Because it’s against us and everything we stand for
And your heroes and demons
Just like you are to me and Cobain was to you
Like parents were to us and time, too.

Because I took a walk and the air was finally warm
But everything seemed cold
It signaled an end to where I grew up
And what I called home
The place I’ve grown to hate,
But where I fell in love
With the people I’ve spent my days with
The sun beat on my face
And it made me want to stay
Because it felt like it was tomorrow
The day I leave my protector and my hero.

It was the path where you once walked
I passed by your old home, and it all flooded back.
The neighborhood reminded me of summer,
That night where we wandered aimlessly beneath the city lights.
It’s been two years and we’ve heard each other speak
We’ve read each other’s words
But not each other’s minds
You always said you didn’t have that power
For me, I can always read it on your face.
I hope you won’t forget
I don’t think you will
But I was just making sure.

It made me want to flip through the pages
Of our minor accomplishments
And I stopped on a page
And chills ran up my spine
The haunting white and blue was so empty
Except for a date and a phrase
Written in my mangled handwriting
It was in the dead center
And said, 'We did it'
And I knew just what we did
Though it doesn't seem like much,
And I dwelled on that one fact
It was important to me.

You stole a decent part of me
But I don’t think I mind
You've made a big dent
In this strange little brain, after all
I thought a tear or two would be enough
But you’ve boiled me dry
So all I can really do now
Is put these hands to work
And put this pen to paper
While you’re on one side
And I’m on the other
I hope this hurts half as much
As it tore me down and out
As if you had any idea anyway
And I hope you won’t make room
For another weirdo like me
On that tiny piece of heart
I hopefully managed to grab
And just make sure you don’t forget to write.

And always remember
How infinite our days were
And how I always think you’re invincible
Even though you’re really not
And I never tell you
I always forget
That you never know what I’m thinking
But you have to agree,
This is better than a bike
From one tired soul to another,
Honestly.
I love you.

Here are some others:

1.

You’d be the first to call me
By the name I hate the most
I don’t mind
It sounds different the way you say it
You’re suspicious, and you're wrong.

You smile when I play your favorites
Well, they’re mine too.
You look silly falling asleep
And jerking awake, just to catch me laughing
You’d laugh, too.

Don’t remind me of the Summer
It was my favorite phase of all
I made fun of you and I was loud
But we still wandered around this town
Aimlessly, and it was getting late

I’d rather dirty your bookcase
Full of memories
That unfortunately remind you
Of yours truly

You’d rather my camera
With stupid photos
Of all our friends
And me

With my stupid smile
You say it’s not half bad
When I think it is

You’d rather dirty my skin
With this old dust,
From the Man’s old writing.

I grew tired of this literature
And I’m growing on you
I don’t mind,
I just prefer not to.

--

2.


The sold soul died with the addict.
Vacant but alright.
The curious sadist-
The unintentional image
Of Manson
Is still holding the match.
Now we’re all just waiting
For the insides to burn out
Waiting for the collapse.
Dare to look inside
This stiff masochistic cavity.
Listen to its seemingly impossible
Need to just be human.
Just brush it off
And get out while you can.
Some refuse to let it in
Some bright eyes are never hit.
And the light burnt out
Before it could ever reach them.
Caught in the dead center of Hell,
There is no way out
And you’ve lost your only weapon
Smile,
Wonder,
Cry,
Shock.
It would rather hurt
Than be boring.
It would rather face the world
Than nothing at all.

--

3.

You fracture ceramic minds like thermal shock.
You suffocate the stable
And you could bring back the dead.
I’m still cold but my bones wanted to watch.
They are bare,
And barely alive.
I thought that those stars were mine.
They followed me home, after all.
You could imagine my disappointment afterwards.
The stuttering melodies echoed
In the hollow of my skull.
They skipped along my nerves like children.
They skipped like broken records
That shattered in me.
It dared to repeat the phrase
I could never bring to slip past my throat.
“I am not afraid.”
The notes seemed to slur
Into the indefinite space
And then I only heard my bones.
They shook like monsters
But I grew bored of the sound.
I barely notice it anymore.

-

4.

I could have left.
Haunted by these pieces I’ve put together,
Curiosity left me here.
Unsafe in the sanctity I’ve built,
I saw them watching.
Their piercing razor eyes
Managed to cut through the pitch black.
They found me.
For the fraction of the wasted,
The goosebumps were cancer.
Wasted time, and wasted efforts,
Cold as a gurney.
Windowless stares killed the thumping sound
The once exploded
From underneath that jacket
The one I wore
When I made this decision
I wanted to fix this
Now, no medicine can make me sane.
The black suit was hidden
Beneath your heavy heart,
Clandestine corpse meetings
Were held nowhere.
Blank masked men
Have given unholy accounts
Of the apocalypse where they brought him back.
But they couldn’t save him.
He became what he feared
And I couldn’t hide any longer