Lost thought of a darkened teen

Any Comments would be appreciated. Any critisism? Make it constructive, I would love tips on how to improve =]

I could dye my hair,
And black my eyes.
But still you would see,
Through this disguise.
Am I drinking enough?
Am I smoking enough?
Am I killing myself slowly,
Quickly enough?
I try to be,
What I am wanted to be,
But this hate and anger,
Takes over me.
I try to lie,
But you still see,
I'll sit here now,
And continue to bleed.

So real these voices that litter my mind,
Myself is the only thing that i wish to find
Some wish to discover riches, and some wish to catch fame,
My anger rears up and i can't hide my shame.

I come to you as a brother, a friend,
And you've done your best to help me mend.
I feel you can help me through whatever may arise,
Together we could do anything as the rest of the world dies.

Without you I don't know what i'd be doing,
Would I still be leading the path I'm pursuing?
Would I be weak or would i be strong?
All i know is you give me strength to carry on.

The darkness destroys me,
It eats at my soul.
The darkness Destroys me,
As i try to stay whole.
The darkness destroys me,
It tears my world apart,
The darkness destroys me,
And leaves holes in my heart.
The darkness destroys me,
I wish i knew how...
The darkness destroys me,
...To get back to you now.
The darkness destroys me,
I now see the light.
The darkness destroys me,
Its ever so bright...


The light seems to guide me,
It doesn't matter how hard i try.
The light seems to guide me,
I will never know why.
The light seems to guide me,
But now just like back then,
The light has abandonned me,
and it's dark again.

I sit here, writers block,
And you face apears in my mind.
I write this about you,
But the words i can't find.
I wish i could tell you how i really feel,
It's a shame my love for you i can never reveal.

I've known you for what seems like an eternity,
but i know its just a few weeks in reality.
I never really believed in love at first sight,
But i have since i met you on that cold winters night.
We share something between us that i can't really grasp,
I sincerely hope that this feeling will last.
I'm happy just knowing you, the way we are,
As long as i have you, I'm so near, yet so far,
From where i want to be and where i must go,
When i think about you these words just continue to flow.
I'll end this right now before i go to far,
And leave things between us just the way they are.

The ringing in my head seems to drown out the world,
Its like my lifes mysteries have all been unfurled.
My problems are gone and so has my pain,
It seems that my demons have all been slain.

The light floods through my window,
And the shadows all burn,
along with all my doubts and concerns.

I love you today, tomorrow, forever,
I hope that our parting will happen never.

Wow..your poetry's amazing,

I like "Am I killing myself slowly quickly enough" That's a cool line.

wow thats amazing

"I've known you for what seems like an eternity,
but i know its just a few weeks in reality.
I never really believed in love at first sight,
But i have since i met you on that cold winters night.
We share something between us that i can't really grasp,
I sincerely hope that this feeling will last.
I'm happy just knowing you, the way we are,
As long as i have you, I'm so near, yet so far,
From where i want to be and where i must go,
When i think about you these words just continue to flow.
I'll end this right now before i go to far,
And leave things between us just the way they are."

I can really relate to some of those lines

Whoooooa. Have you ever though about making an account on Allpoetry? I think you'd do really well, I don't think you need to improve anything, it would be gradual...and what you have here is pure genius!!!!

They are great.
Wonderful.

you are amazing.