Bittersweet Suicidal

please give me feedback..cmon i can take it

Schzophrenia
I tiptoe to the edge
starr down at my shoelaces
is it wrong i want to wrap them round your neck
pull tighter and tighter
your pulse getting lighter
under my grip

is it wrong that I want to
feel you squirm
struggle and worm
in my grasp,
untill you gasp
your last breath and die

why
do i
want to see your fear
when death comes near
befalls you
calls you
into the darkness

my hand twitches
and itches
aching for your heartbeat
i can smell you
can almost taste your blood

the snap
im back
how long can i keep control?
how long can i hold the reins?
till the devil hits them out of my hands again
i came here for a reason

"you can't just run away"
you say
why stay?
my mother doesnt tend
to relise
her life could end
at MY hands
she just doesnt understand

my inner demon
thirsts for you, so
i'll have to go
and who knows?
where i'll be sent
will God except half my soul
now i've stopped the other half from losing control
before its too late
will I enter his gates?

my red-rimmed eyes well with tears
i'm scared?
why now?
why here?
just as i stand atop this 7-storey ledge
my toes lingering over the edge
it's her life or mine
i'll have to choose, or lose
tiptoeing to the the edge
i star down at my shoelaces,
and jump.