XXhowidisappearXX

My name is ashley.

I love My chemical Romance!!!! Favorite. yes i said favorite band. yep yep.

Some of my other favorite bands are as follows:

Blink 182
Plus 44
Angels and Airwaves
Green Day
Evanescence



yeah.......


I have a hot guy list. hehe. cause i'm a nerd.


1. Gerard way.



aww. he's a bad bad man.

2. Frank Iero



That shit is so fucking crazy but hot at the same time.

3. Mikey Way

4. Billie joe Armstrong



5. Tom Delonge


6. Mark Hoppus



7. David Kennedy



ow ow!!

8. David Desrosiers


Chicks that i look up to:

1. Amy Lee

2. Christina aguilera

3. Nicole Kidman



Yeah. lets see........

I have no clue what to say. i have moved around, a lot. i am actually living in the 4th state that i have lived in.

I'm really pale, i hate myself at the moment because i cut my damn hair. It was long and it took for fucking ever to grow out and then i cut it. oh well. It'll grow back.

I have 8 piercings at the moment. I hope to get my eyebrow peirced one day, but my parents arent loving that so much.

I like to wear lots o black eyeliner and eyeshadow. i have noticed that everyday i wear a peice of black clothing. unplanned i swear. hehe.

i'm obsessed with Gerard Way at the moment. But not in the creepy I'm guna stalk him one day kinda way. hehe

I have a really dirty mind and it's funny cuz i'm about the greenest person ever.
i say the dirtiest jokes and its wrong, very very wrong. Oh well...

I want a black cat really fucking bad, but suprise suprise, my parents wont have that either.

I love writing stories. Just cause i'm crazay like that. I'm getting into drawing and i want to learn how to play the piano.

i am currently getting help with my deppression and anxiety, so if you ever need to talk pm me. it wont be weird.

fuck, i dont even know if people are going to read this. but yeah. im a dork.

read my stories please and comment. i dont mean to self promote or whatever, but i work hard on it.

XOXO






It's the tearing sound of love-notes
Casting out the gray stained windows
And the view outside is sterile
And I'm only two cubes down
I'll photocopy all the things that we could be
If you took the time to notice me
But you can't now, I don't blame you
And it's not your fault that no one ever does

But you don't work here anymore
It's just a vacant 3 by 4
And they might fill your place
A temporary stand-in for your face

This happens all the time
And I can't help but think I'll die alone

So I'll spend my time with strangers
A condition that is terminal
In this water-cooler romance
And its coming to a close
We could be in the park and dancing by a tree
Kicking over blades we see
Or a dark beach with a black view
As pin-pricks in the velvet catch our fall

But you don't work here anymore
It's just a vacant 3 by 4
And they might fill your place
A temporary stand-in for your face

It happens all the time
And I can't help but think I'll die alone

I know you don't work here anymore, I know you don't work here anymore
I know you don't work here anymore, I know you don't work here anymore
I know you don't work here anymore, I know you don't work here anymore
Sometimes I think I'll die alone, sometimes I think I'll die alone
Sometimes I think I'll die alone, live and breathe and die alone
Sometimes I think I'll die alone, sometimes I think I'll die alone
Sometimes I think I'll die alone, I'd think I'd love to die alone

I think I'd love to die alone



And we can run
From the backdrop of these gears and scalpels.
At every hour
Goes the tick tock bang of moniters as
They stared us down
When we met in the emergency room
And in our beds
I could hear you breath with help from cold machines
Every hour
On the hour
They drew blood
Well I felt I couldn't take
Another day inside this place
From silent dreams we never wake
And in this promise that we'll make
Starless eyes for Heaven's sake
But I hear you anyway
Well I thought I heard you say I like you
We can get out
We don't have to stay
Stay inside this place
Someday
This day
We kept falling down
Someday
This day
Set the ferris wheel ablaze
You left
My heart
And open wound
And I love you for
This day
Someday
We kept falling down
Someday
This day
All we had to keep us safe
And if
We never sleep again
It would never end
Well I thought I
Heard you say to me
We'll go
So far
Far as we can
And I just can't stay
One day we'll run away








This night, walk the dead
In a solitary style
And crash the cemetery gates
In the dress your husband hates
Way down, mark the grave
Where the search lights find us
Drinking by the mausoleum door
And they found you on the bathroom floor

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

Back home, off the run
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists
It isn't that much fun, staring down a loaded gun
So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying
If you want I'll keep on crying
Did you get what you deserve?
Is this what you always want me for?

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
Made it so hard

Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down

Way down



For what you did to me,
And what I'll do to you,
You get, what everyone else gets,
You get a lifetime!

Let's go!

Do you remember back when we met
You told me this gets harder
Well it did!
Been holding on forever,
Promise me that when I'm gone you'll kill my enemies,
The damage you've inflicted temporary wounds
I'm coming back from the dead and I'll take you home with me
I'm taking back the life you stole

We never got that far,
This helps me to think all through the night
Bright lights that, won't kill me now, or tell me how
Just you and I, your starless eyes remain.

Hip Hip Hooray for me, you talk to me, but would you kill me in my sleep
Lay still like the dead
From the razor to the rosary
We could lose ourselves
And paint these walls in pitchfork red

I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take
I'm coming back from the dead and I'll take you home with me
I'm taking back the life you stole

This hell that you put me in
Wasn't deep enough
And I'm climbing out right now
You're running out of places to hide from me
When you go
Just know that I will remember you
If living was the hardest part
We'll then one day be together
And in the end we'll fall apart
Just as the leaves changing colors
And then I will be with you
I will be there one last time now

When you go
Just know that I will remember you

I lost my fear of falling
I will be with you
I will be with you



Well I was there on the day
They sold the cause for the queen
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen
I hate the ending myself,
But it started with an alright scene
It was the roar of the crowd,
That gave me heartache to sing
It was a lie when they smiled
And said you won’t feel a thing
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard it would sting

If im so wrong, (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long?
(Night long, night long)
Well will it matter, after I’m gone
Because you never learned a goddamned thing

You're just a sad song, with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I’m wrong
This never meant nothing, to you

I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I can watch all my heroes
Sell a car on TV
Bring out the old guillotine
We’ll show them what we all mean

If I’m so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How Can you listen all night long?
(Night long, night long)
Now will it matter, after im gone?
Because you never learned a goddamned thing?

You're just a sad song, with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay.
And if you think that I’m wrong, this never meant nothing to you

So go,
Just go
Run away
But where did you run to?
Where did you hide?
Go find another way
Price you pay

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a lifelong, wait for a hospital stay
And if you think im wrong
This never meant nothing to you
Come on

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a lifelong, wait for a hospital stay
And if you think I’m wrong
This never meant nothing to you.
At all
At all
At all
At all



To unexplain the unforgivable,
Drain all the blood and give the kids a show.
By streetlight this dark night,
A seance down below.
There's things that I have done, you never,
Should ever know.

And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now.
And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now.

Who walks among the famous living dead,
Drowns all the boys and girls inside your bed.
And if you could talk to me,
Tell me if it's so,
That all the good girls go to heaven.
Well, heaven knows,

That without you is how I disappear.
And live my life alone forever now.
And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now.

Can you hear me cry out to you?
Words I thought I'd choke on figure out.
I'm really not so with you any more.
I'm just a ghost, so I can't hurt you anymore,
So I can't hurt you anymore.

And now
you wanna see how far down I can sink?
Let me go!
So you can
Well now so you can
I'm so far away from you
Well now so you can

And without you is how I disappear,
And without you is how I disappear,
Forever
Forever now



Some say now suffer all the children and walk away a saviour,
Or a madman and polluted from gutter institutions.
Don't you breathe for me, undeserving of your sympathy,
Cos there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did.

And through it all how could you cry
For me?
Cos I don't feel bad about it.
So shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye,
And sleep.
Just sleep.

The hardest part is letting go of your dreams.

A drink for the horror that I'm in, for the good guys,
And the bad guys, for the monsters that I've been.
Three cheers for tyranny, unapologetic apathy,
Cos there ain't no way that I'm coming back again.

And through it all how could you cry
For me?
Cos I don't feel bad about it.
So shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye,
And sleep.
Just sleep.

The hardest part is the awful things that I've seen.

Just sleep