LifeOnStandby

I'm 15...Freshie at highschool in NC. I'm a pretty laid-back, open-minded, opionated (not judgemental) type of guy. I don't like stereotypes, nor do I feed into them. I hate two-faced(negatively) type people. I don't like assholes who are judgemental and look at any type of way to stab someone emotionally. I'm a night person...helps me think and relax...but complete opposite at times. I'm a very bad sleeper...I can't sleep without music. It sometimes takes me hours to sleep...and I toss and turn throughout sleep.
i'd appreciate any comments on my poetry thread







I stand out, not attentionly but just due to charecter/dressing. I love to laugh and make otherse laugh...love to releive people of stress. I usually hide things deep inside of me, and it all comes out at times...and its never pretty. I<3 my family and don't know what I'd do if something happend to them. I'm a rememerable type of person. I love a good engaging conversation or fair arguement. Some teachers hate me, some like me due to that I'm opinionated which can go two-ways for people. Some people tend to say that I'm short-sided due to my open mindness, which I disagree with.





Music is a weapon, music is soul.

Fav Bandseath Cab for Cutie, My Chemical Romance, Hawthorne Heights, Cute is What We Aim For, The Used, Postal Service, Built to Spill, Rocco DeLuca & The Burden, Massive Attack, Dropkick Murphys, My Chemical Romance, Sr-71, Kill Hannah, Beatles, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Gun n' Roses, Cash, Ryan Adams,Rage Against The Machine, Rise Against, Something Corporate, Thursday, Audioslave, Soundgarden, Mogwai, Cassettes Won't Listen, The Prodigy, Iron and Wine, and Modest Mouse.


I like indy and rock (alternative) music the most. Classic rock and instrumental/electro comes next. Heavily dislike country, rap and hiphop.
I hate rap and hiphop due to what msot of the songs stand for, and hate that it floods people's minds and aspects.


Quoted from Glenn Turner
And I pray to God that one day, He will grant me the power to reach out and hold my hand over your head and give you instant belief, 'cause you don't have instant belief. You've been hooked, you've been crooked, you've been lied to so many times, that you're suspicious-minded. And when the right thing comes along, you don't believe in it. When I'm coming in knocking on the front door, you're out the back door looking for four leaf clovers. And when you find it, you think somebody planted it there to fool you. 'Whats the angle?' You look for an excuse. In this modern day and age we have instant coffee and instant tea--instant disbelief. Thats the reason we will never become anything--it is because we will never believe in ourselves. We will always listen to the mass majority. If everybody's making fun of you and criticizing you, then you know you're on the right track. Cause most people ain't got it



I love to write...trying to get better at it as the years go by.

Some things written by me:

Croak

Minimalism, Sadistic thoughts
Another angle, Another imperfection
A/c Flickers On, the heat ventures out
Dark ride, Back to the Sun

Left as the only heat
Infelicitous moon,
‘Gonna burn us down
No, ‘nots me;
I’m left to drown

Grass is wet
Cut too short,
Sprouted doves
Don’t seek light-
Damp perfect

The Gnat Screams
Undermine face;
You can’t here,
Don’t understand,
You wouldn’t care

Ramble on
Lay waste doubts
Fluctuate, Clock shine
Mid-hell Podium,
A stumble fall…

For all that you seek,
The thrill’s clique,
Incoherence condense;
Orations deprived,
The Irrational jade

Drag’s premonition
Velvet lace-calamity,
Abrasion brightens…
Crude leather evidences…

Indecisive strokes,
Croaks…


=====================
~She Has Me~

These eyes, these eyes look through themselves
Into a mind full of doubt and despair
These eyes, these eyes could unravel forever
Oh, the love they've sought, the pain they've fought
These eyes, these eyes will always see what they want
Just a glance from her could tell it all....
These eyes, these eyes may not know myself well
A glance from her could tell it all

She has me
As a second thought
She has me
As an after thought
She has me
For all her dirty pleasure
She has me
To make her happy
She has me
For an opinion

I kiss her
For all the good she does for me
I grab her
So that I’m complete
I love her
Or so I believe
I need her
For a reason to breathe
I have her
I’m full of cliché!

She has me
By the throat
She has me
Reads me like a book
She has me
Since the start
She has me
Crawling back for more

Late night I give her a call
Picked up, as if the receiver ain’t on
I tell her why I rang
I know her for that murmur
It’s as if she ain’t on the line
I’m speaking to a diary…
Oh I know…

She has me [Oh I know!]
She has me!
By the throat {Choke!}
She has me [I’ve realized!]
Reads me like a book [Page for page!]
She has me [But I want it all!]
Since the start [Always has!]
She has me [Oh god help!]
Crawling back for more… [It’s a love I endure]

She has me!
Oh It’ll stay the same…
She has me!
Oh I know…

A glance from her could tell it all



---------------
Stepping Up

Stepping Up
Stepping harder,
So that, you’ll hear me.
Stepping harder,
Incase you can’t hear me

I’ve got to be heard
My opinion on the upper chord
Won’t stop ‘til it’s heard
Or isn’t that your logic?

I’m stepping up,
Stepping harder

I’m stepping up,
One at a time.
Won’t skip a stair,
Precautious fathom.

I’m stepping up,
Stepping harder

I’m stepping up,
The reach is getting longer.
I’m out of breath,
But I must go on.

The downfall,
I don’t wish to relapse.
Not down there again,
The hindsight’s enough.

I’m stepping up,
Maybe I should take a break.
I’ve made it this far,
Why give up?

I’m stepping up,
Stepping harder

I’m stepping up,
The footsteps are getting quiet.
I’m nearly to the top,
Just caught horizon.

Looking back,
So far down.
I see them staring back,
Urging me to keep going.

I’m stepping up,
My galoshes have torn.
I look around once more,
I’m getting lonely.

I’m stepping up,
Stepping harder

I’m stepping up,
Balance wobbling.

I’m stepping up,
One more stair ‘til the top.

I’m stepping up,
Can’t turn back now.

I’m stepping up…

============================

She (meant for acoustic)

she (acoustic)

She’s my inspiration
She’s the only thing that’ll set me free
She’ll tear me limb for limb
She’ll be waiting for me

She’s my inspiration
She’s the reason I breathe
She’s the resolution, to all of my dreams

She’s the only color in my world
She’s against my limitations
She’s gonna give up, before I make her believe
She’s my inspiration, the reason I bleed
She’s the love enabling me to let go
----------------------

Voracity

The voracity of my life
Wanting more
Morphine pumping through my system
I want more…
The end is so near, I want to go out in fashion

This life has been a lie
A belief that things could be so much more
We’re the ones to blame in the end

It wasn’t gonna last
This affair of me and you
I was never meant to be, to be happy
This ain’t no fairy tail
You can’t have the strength and love
This is a short story…
It ends with me falling

This life is over and gone
A belief that things could be so much more
Never done blaming each other…

You wanted more didn’t you?
Well I was one the same…
You waited up all night?
I never came…
You wanted this?!
I don’t blame you after all…

The voracity of my life
Wanting more from you, wanting more from me
Love is a desire, the motivation
I want more…
The end is so near, I want to go out in fashion

This life is a wasted thought
Caught in the act then drawn out
Red curtains pulled in shame, grey drape over the remains
This life started at the end!
This life has been a lie
This life wasn’t my precept!
This life is over and gone
This life is all I got!
I want to go out in fashion
This life…This life…
The voracity of my life

--------------------------------


TRUTH

Laying awake at night
Changing at the speed of light
Dreading the thought of your aspirations about to explode
The desires you loave implode

Yet there's truth in hurting

The moon's not falling, it's crashing down
Pieces breaking one by one
People stare and wonder
Frightened, frolicking in awe (they watch)
Gather around, surface is to break
The core explode into a slue
The final finale is yet to come, sit back and enjoy
The end of me, the end of you

This is my mind
Telling me that I should stop
Turning through the night, to wake up the next morning
Go about unworried

Yet there's truth in hurting

-------------------------------------------
Reminisce


Willing to look back at all that passed
Being at the bottom was never nice
I’m at the top, this’ll never last
I draw the evil side out
Attention rung of yesterday’s retention

I once had no will to go on
My rouge sided guilt two faced split,
She walked through revolving doors
Spinning me till this day,
Those marble eyes glistening to wake me up
I draw the evil side out
A cause in my life

Brought light in my world,
Simplified pearl terms
Dejected once before,
I draw the evil side out
Come back to haunt me
Can’t hold on, Can’t hold on

Not a single key
Majority caught of plea
You caused more damage
That I could believe,
Bottom to top
Three ring latter spiked
I’m ready to drop

Evil side out come back to haunt me
Reminisce of yester year
Fading off into my own horizon
You carried me to a sudden crash
I watched those corrode around me
Left with faces crowded
Shame spread amongst my shadow
Evil side out come back to haunt me
Evil side out come back to haunt me
Sit back to watch the damnation
You’re the plural of this
I the preemption
Take my hand, hold it tight, pop the cap
Evil side out come back to haunt me
One at a time ‘nots a harm
Evil side out come back to haunt me

============================

-----------------------------------------
full of gold
I’m tired of being told how to feel
This god for saken’ task, it’s not the end
Emotions wrapped by a single strand,
Pull the string; that’s exactly how I’ve been

Tired of living my life this way
Being pulled by a leash everyday,
I’m not afraid, no not afraid
I just want to lie down once more
Have you seen my spirit?
My morale washed to; the other side of this
Sea rotten, plank of, of, misery

My life’s ripped to shreds
What is my trouble’s toll?
Can’t stand up bold any more,
Living my life in red, this is getting old
Why can’t I be back, why can’t I be back, back where life was good

It’s all you can imagine
A life full of gold
It’s all you can imagine
Stuck in this dirty watered bowl
It’s all you can imagine
In a life like mine
It’s all you can imagine


==============================
I Felt a Leaf Fall

I may be afraid of spiders and all
As I lay amongst the girl who doesn’t get along
In the comfort of a friend’s yard
I’m not feeling afraid; not worried
Rather anticipated and thrilled

Yesteryear’s memory withdraw
Laying under brush amongst the girl who doesn’t know me at all
The others they look for me
But they don’t know where to start
We laugh as they gather wrong direction
Whispering plees to one another

Catching breath from running all day long
Transpiring of actions of my downfall amongst the girl who isn’t my one
Looking back at all that’s gone and went
While they look; I’ll amend another path
Their mind on something direct
While I a wrecking ball

They feel little but we’re the same
Crying inside amongst the girl who doesn’t look in on me
Possibly they’re just playing the game
Maybe he caught eye and lead them away
Perhaps someone is on my side

Where am I to run to next?
Questioning each other amongst the girl who won’t dare to frown
We need a plan B and we need it now
Before they aim for heart
Too late we lose our embrace

================================


I have a thread under poetry I'll try to keep updated. I work on multiple things at time...I have random times of thoughts, usally at night I just drop these on paper and rework it for a while. I also write...just mainly short stories for now. I hope to be in arts/literature as I grow up. Though my future is vague to me, because I truely don't know what I want out of life. Dreams are only as strong as the beholder.


If you have any thoughts, comments, want to talk...just PM me anytime. I love a good chat.

-Steve

Detection, of depression
Lead to, redemption
Reflection, of my notion
Rejection, from destruction
Senuation of my sensation



Always and Cold

May I warn you
Would you believe?
All is taken its toll, its part

Red house beside grey house
Breeze through my hair,
Take this hand; as I took yours
Lies turned to truth
Pages of doubt,
Slight turbulence involved
Exposed turned well

Jump over the moon with no legs
I love you always; always and cold

Flashback of existence
Proscription the same,
Anticipated future
Past of dismay;
Victim in relation
To no luck,
Slight turbulence involved
Exposed turned well

Jump over the moon with no legs
I love you always, always and cold

I must impart
Venture away;
Different faces
Separate land,
Haven the warmth
Felt inside all;
Abstract insanity
Discouraged woe,
Slight turbulence involved
Exposed turned well

Jump over the moon with no legs
I love you always, always and cold
http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/3735/hippy22qx7.jpg[/IMG]





^I'm a pirate