MyOwnChemicalFailure

I'm all about being strange. Going against the grain. Being an all around different from everyone else. I hate following the crowd and being what the media believes to be "beautiful." I am myself and I'm happy with that. I don't care what other people think of me or "label" me as. Why should I care? They don't even know me so how could they possibly "label" me?

I absolutely love writing poems/stories/lyrics, you can always find me listening to music, I love drawing/painting almost anything, I'm working to become an art professor or a tattoo artist lol. Possibly an author as well. I love making music. I can play every instrument that is in a typical rock band. Drums, guitar, bass, keyboards, etc. I'm currently in a band right now as the rhythm guitarist. I also write the lyrics(along with 2 other people) and I compose the music. The band is called Angels of Silence.

Role Playing, AIM, and the internet in general is my social life because I'm not what you may call "accepted" into the social society of my school(which I'm happy about haha). I have saved two of my friends lives and yet I am unable to save my own. I always listening to my friends/families/strangers problems and try to help them as much as I can. The only thing that really keeps me moving on is my nephew Shane, my friends that need my help, and My Chemical Romance's music/lyrics help me get through my day. I owe them so much for helping me out. I have a tendency to be able to take care of other people really well and are good at giving advice yet I am disabled from saving myself. I always feel like I am not good enough and my Dad has unknowingly drilled it into my head to feel like that. Nothing seems to satisfy him and it always seems like my opinion doesn't matter at all. I can't be in a conversation with him for more than 3 minutes without him yelling at me.. He doesn't understand what I'm going through.. What... what's been done to me.. If he doesn't believed my Mum was date raped and had my brother from it(he's the oldest of my siblings) then he definitely wont believe what has happened to me..

----///-\\\----Put This
----|||--|||---On Your
----|||--|||---Site If
----|||--|||---You Know
----\\\-///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who has or has
------///\-----died of
-----///\\\----cancer
----///--\\\---

Well, I'm just going to post up some lyrics I have made. I've only made four sets so far. Three of them have the same theme(which is abuse if you don't notice after reading) and the other one you'll find out soon enough if you read it.*Shrugs*



Tombstones and Smoky Darkness


Everything is breaking
And his heart is aching
The past is tumbling his way
Like a runaway train

The scars start bleeding again
He wonders if he’ll be able to live on
He knows who really loves him
But everything is too blurry to know for sure

He can’t find his way
Through all the fog
They are all calling his name
And he stumbles in the smoky darkness

Tombstones are everywhere
Ivy intertwining with the crosses on them
He trips and is faced with his own stone
The flowers whither away and he is forgotten

Everything is so fake now
He wishes he were a boy again
Where he didn’t know better
And that it was all okay

He can’t find his way
Through all the fog
They are all calling his name
And he stumbles in the smoky darkness

©Marykate’s Lyrics©




The Curse of the Druggies and Drunks


He shields himself against the blows
And stares that monster in the eye
The monster that he has known his whole life
The very same blood flows through his own veins

“Dad no!” He screams into the darkness
But nothing changes and nothing stops
For the bruises and cuts shall never cease
And these scars shall never heal

The curse of the druggies and drunks
Is the one that he must face everyday
He had never done anything wrong
He isn’t the one that should have the curse

What is he to do?
He is helpless and timid
No one is there to see what is done
They all stand aside and just make fun

Smoke always fills his lungs
He coughs and desperately tries to breathe
A cold liquid covers the ground he lays on
As he tries to defend himself

The curse of the druggies and drunks
Is the one that he must face everyday
He had never done anything wrong
He isn’t the one that should have the curse

“Wishing gets you no where and hope is just a plea”
He says all the time to people
They call him a Satanist but they don’t know
Of what he faces everyday within his own abode

His faith is shattered with every passing day
That he must spend in that prison of his
There is no warmth in his life
Not a soul to teach him how to love
And they wonder why he is cold for such a young child

©Marykate’s Lyrics©




Excuses Excuses


Excuses excuses is what he uses
For the marks on his fragile skin
Been doing it all his life
It’s the thing he’s best at

No one cares though
And no one bothers to ask
Why this boy never cries
…Why he never tries…

Black and blue and red
Seem to favor him best at home
He says he’s prone to “falling”
It’s not the truth but it’s close enough

Kept away inside a boarded up room
Not allowed to see the day of light
Not allowed to see the people who love him
Falling asleep to the sound of gunshots

Not knowing what love is
Is like not knowing what the warm sun feels like
To him his pain is his love
And the ceiling is his sun

Black and blue and red
Seem to favor him best at home
He says he is prone to “falling”
It’s not the truth but it’s close enough

©Marykate’s Lyrics©




Angel in the Fog



You had to come out of nowhere
An angel you were in all this fog
Risking all you had worked for
Just to save someone who didn’t know anything

Sneaking out of my prison
For the first time in my life
Just to get a glimpse of this angel
Just to see if she really cared

Those eyes make me want to cry
Make me feel a kind of emotion
I had never experienced before
And it feels like nothing I’ve ever felt

A warmth is growing inside of me
I have no idea on what it is
I have to explore and see what happens
To be sure of what I can really do

Sneaking out of my prison
For the first time in my life
Just to get a glimpse of this angel
Just to see if she really cared

Asking a question from an angel
Is the hardest thing I have ever had to do
They hypnotize you and lure you with all their grace
Now you don’t remember what you wanted to say

The feeling that rose up inside me
When she finally gave me an answer
A boy like me with an angel like her
Is like the new wonder of the century

©Marykate’s Lyrics©