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Suicide and Self harm

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Heart Attack.
Salute You in Your Grave
Heart Attack.
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2274
June 13th, 2009 at 10:36pm
Honestly I think the idea that some people cut to be "cool" or "emo"(take your pick) is ridiculous. If someone thinks hurting themself is cool, then obviously there's some underlying issue, because anyone who would think that probably isn't completely mentally sound. I don't understand why anyone would get the idea that its cool, even if they are "emo" (which that whole label is a bunch of bullshit anyways, don't get me started xD), since most people look down on cutters, or least from my experiences they do. So I'm not buying the cutting to fit in excuses or anything like that, because in most cases it just sets people apart even more, and like I said before, there's probably something else going on. I think its probably the same sort of thing when people supposedly cut for attention, because if someone is desperate enough to do that for attention, then that person may have some serious issues if that's how they get people's attention.

Having said that, this is not an attack on cutters at all, and while I can't understand why anyone would harm themselves for superficial reasons, I can understand the others- depression, trauma, abuse, etc. The problem is, since there are all these ideas that people only cut for attention or they're "whiny emo kids", so lots of kids (at least at my school) think its funny and don't take it seriously. Which makes people who cut feel worse, so they don't tell anyone if they need help, and its just this vicious circle. I know I never wanted my friends to find out, and I know its the same way for a lot of people, its something that they hide. And since that is often the case, I don't think it is fair at all to blame other people for not picking up on the hints, if self-harmers don't want anyone to know.

Well, that was a bit of a rant. . . =]
blow
Bleeding on the Floor
blow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 1137
June 14th, 2009 at 01:18am
^It's hard to believe that people might find it cool, but they do. Most who cut for that reason aren't even doing themselves serious physical harm. I've seen some of it up close and personal, most of what those people do are not worse than a bad cat scratch but still enough that they can 'show it off'. It's a completely stupid thing to do, but kids do stupid things. I've also known a few people who don't cut at all in any way shape or form, but wear wristbands all the time and claim to do, so not all fakers actually partake in the act.
The whole stigma attached to cutters never made me feel bad, I used to cut and even when I did I would still join my friends in making jokes about 'emo cutters', even going so far as to mime crying and slitting my wrists. That said it is a completely immature and crude thing to do to poke fun at such a serious issue, I think my group of friends was so close that the joking never made me worry about what they may think of me.
I think the reason a lot of kids feel they have to hide it, is not only because of the things kids say but just they age they are at. When your a kid or young adult you go through a period where you think no one understands you. The whole 'I hate my parents, they don't know what it's like to be a teen' that coupled with whatever problems are causing them to cut, is what I think makes them not confide in anyone or seek help.
Detonator.
Really Not Okay
Detonator.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 666
June 14th, 2009 at 04:33am
^ I agree.

The immaturity of teens flinging around the 'emo cutter' stereotype prevents those that seriously need help from seeking it. I guess it's the fear of rejection - being called emo and told to "toughen up." Though I guess that would only be a small portion of cutters that could feel that way, I'm not entirely sure.

I would say, from experience, this ridiculous emo stereo type is kind of softening the seriousness of the issue in teens minds.
There was a time last year when a guy who went to my school killed himself, of course a lot of people were shocked and stricken with grief, but there were still quite a lot of students that found the situation amusing. Well, maybe amusing isn't the right word, but you could tell they had no empathy at all. They found it okay to discuss how he managed to take his own life, with crude remarks, and laughing about it.

The same thing happened again this year when a boy in the year below mine, also killed himself. I was horrified by the amount of kids who were laughing at a situation which really wasn't any of their business.

What I fear is that the stereotype is making the issue sound common, so much so it’s allowing some to just accept it. Personally, and by that I mean that I may not be correct, I think this is a significant contributor to teen suicide and self-harm.
Instead of working out the issues, people are using this method, because they have some basis understanding of it. They know how people will react to it.

Hurm, okay I apologize if I have got some facts wrong, and I think in some statements I have contradicted myself a bit.

Oh well, that was my small input.
Heart Attack.
Salute You in Your Grave
Heart Attack.
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2274
June 14th, 2009 at 08:55pm
Faraday:
^It's hard to believe that people might find it cool, but they do. Most who cut for that reason aren't even doing themselves serious physical harm. I've seen some of it up close and personal, most of what those people do are not worse than a bad cat scratch but still enough that they can 'show it off'.

Yeah that's kind of what I was trying to get at, because some people just assume that kids are only doing it to show off, even the ones who are actually doing some harm to themselves, but thats not the case, since the ones who show it to people aren't really hurting themselves. But its just my opinion that even the people who aren't truly harming themselves and do it to be cool aren't exactly right in the head, if they think its cool to look like you're a cutter, because there is nothing cool about it.
bruised and scarred
Killjoy
bruised and scarred
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 65
June 17th, 2009 at 03:05pm
I really hate the whole "it's cool to cut movement" A few weeks ago, I met a 11 year old kid in 5th grade who cut. FIFTH GRADE. He said he used to be emo and thats what emos do so he cut. I had never met him before in my life and he was showing me his "scars". I think that's seriously messed up.
white_lies_red_truth
Fabulous Killjoy
white_lies_red_truth
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 152
June 21st, 2009 at 01:57am
what bothers me about this topic is that it becomes so easy to compare suicide and cutting... even in there most sincere forms there are in a way opposites. one is an attempt at ending your life while the other is an attempt at saving it. being a ex-cutter i can tell you that it is anything but a death-wish, as a matter of fact its an attempt to cope. sometimes its for control, sometimes its a scream for help, almost like saying i need to be hospitalized. suicide becomes less of a choice and more of a math equation: which do have more of, pain or coping statagys.
bellamurte
Killjoy
bellamurte
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 45
June 23rd, 2009 at 05:49am
Unfortunately, this is the world we live in.
I actually hoped that with the whole "emo" think around something good would come from it, and that there would be more awareness of issues circling around self-harm, depression and suicide. I hoped that maybe there'd be more help offered to teenagers or something. But unfortunately that seems to have been the reverse. Instead of seeing wounds on someone and going "woah, hang on a second, I know what this is, this person obviously needs help" they're going "ha ha you fucking emo"
And its always an insult too "Go listen to MCR and cut yourself"
The nievity [sp, spell checks not picking it up] of people amazes me.

But then we could always re-visit the subject of Hannah Bond (apologies if there's already a topic on that) if we're getting into that. If you check the facts she listened to MCR for two weeks before she died, and mcr we're blamed for her death. Now I'm no physiologist but it takes more than fourteen days to convince a mentally stable person to kill themselves. I've listened to My Chem nearly six years, gone through severe bouts of depression, self harm and a suicide attempt and funnily enough I still have a pulse.
bellamurte
Killjoy
bellamurte
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 45
June 23rd, 2009 at 05:49am
-edit- Double Post
S713
Joining The Black Parade
S713
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 225
June 26th, 2009 at 10:45pm
bellamurte:
Unfortunately, this is the world we live in.
I actually hoped that with the whole "emo" think around something good would come from it, and that there would be more awareness of issues circling around self-harm, depression and suicide. I hoped that maybe there'd be more help offered to teenagers or something. But unfortunately that seems to have been the reverse. Instead of seeing wounds on someone and going "woah, hang on a second, I know what this is, this person obviously needs help" they're going "ha ha you fucking emo"
And its always an insult too "Go listen to MCR and cut yourself"
The nievity [sp, spell checks not picking it up] of people amazes me.

But then we could always re-visit the subject of Hannah Bond (apologies if there's already a topic on that) if we're getting into that. If you check the facts she listened to MCR for two weeks before she died, and mcr we're blamed for her death. Now I'm no physiologist but it takes more than fourteen days to convince a mentally stable person to kill themselves. I've listened to My Chem nearly six years, gone through severe bouts of depression, self harm and a suicide attempt and funnily enough I still have a pulse.



Somebody always has to take the blame, especially with kids.
Parent's can't let themselves believe that something was wrong with their kid and they didn't notice, or simply ignored it, thinking it was a phase.
savealife
Killjoy
savealife
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 8
July 3rd, 2009 at 09:58am
any one stupid enough to think cutting is "cool" needs help i know some people who so it just because they cant control it. I had a friend once say that it was like a drug it is almost impossible to stop. I think if someone does it because they wanna look cool there moor messed up then the people that do it for a reason.
S713
Joining The Black Parade
S713
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 225
July 6th, 2009 at 01:34am
Am i the only one that can't see save's post?
brandleys;
Death Defying
brandleys;
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 180718
July 8th, 2009 at 09:11pm
S713:
Am i the only one that can't see save's post?


I'm guessing they're a new user, if that's what you mean.
S713
Joining The Black Parade
S713
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 225
July 10th, 2009 at 03:52am
nameless...:
S713:
Am i the only one that can't see save's post?


I'm guessing they're a new user, if that's what you mean.

I was just curious why it said the lastest post was by savealife, and I couldn't see anything. new users have to get posts approved by a mod?
brandleys;
Death Defying
brandleys;
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 180718
July 12th, 2009 at 12:00pm
S713:
nameless...:
S713:
Am i the only one that can't see save's post?


I'm guessing they're a new user, if that's what you mean.

I was just curious why it said the lastest post was by savealife, and I couldn't see anything. new users have to get posts approved by a mod?


yeah, and then when they get approved i think you can see the posts they put when they weren't approved.
Jenny.
Moderator
Jenny.
Age: 27
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Posts: 19720
July 12th, 2009 at 05:41pm
guys, don't spam and watch the pyramid quotes.
the desperate ranks.
Always Born a Crime
the desperate ranks.
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 6712
July 17th, 2009 at 11:38pm
Good Riddance.:
There was a time last year when a guy who went to my school killed himself, of course a lot of people were shocked and stricken with grief, but there were still quite a lot of students that found the situation amusing. Well, maybe amusing isn't the right word, but you could tell they had no empathy at all. They found it okay to discuss how he managed to take his own life, with crude remarks, and laughing about it.


There was a similar situation at my school last year, though it wasn't exactly the same.

A boy two grades older than I had attempted suicide, but failed. He was out for weeks after it happened, and during that time, people saw it as a trivial matter. Not only did some make jokes about it, but some were almost... cruel about it. Like... they made it seem like he did it just to get attention, or just for no good reason at all. When he came in one day (I was in one of his classes) he was very quiet and didn't speak to anyone. The jokes and nasty remarks continued.

It makes me sick. Both suicide and self-harm are very serious issues. The people that call others "emo cutters" or whatever do not understand the significance of what they're implying. Not only does it give much of the rest of the world the view that people do it because they're whiny and need to grow up, but every single remark hurts, no matter how much it seems like it doesn't.

I know what it's all like... to cut and to feel suicidal. Don't get me wrong; I'm not proud of it, and nor will I ever be. I've never told anyone about it. But some people don't realize that not only do "emos" cut (which is a drastically disgusting addition to the ridiculous stereotype), but their best friend, who could be polar opposite of "emo" could be cutting. The star quarterback of the football team could be seriously thinking about killing himself.

It's not limited to the people who look "emo." I, for one, am the one in my group of friends who always cheers up the others, is always positive, and makes everyone laugh. Me, Heidi, on the brink of killing myself? Self-harming? They would never have even thought of it. Until people realize that it can happen to anyone, or until it happens to someone that they're close to, they'll always have trouble understanding how big an issue it is.

To feel like you need to hurt yourself to numb your pain, or to feel like there is nothing in this world to live for... it's a frightening, disgusting, heart-wrenching feeling, and it's taken way too lightly. I really wish it wasn't.
fawkes
Bleeding on the Floor
fawkes
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 1131
July 18th, 2009 at 01:16am
I can't stand it when people make fun of suicide. I guess it's only natural because most people don't like to dwell on horrible things. Laughing about it makes it seem less horrible, even if it's not something to laugh about. It's just how people deal with the subject to prevent it getting to them.

To lose someone to suicide is one of the most awful things ever. Sure, we hear about it on the news all the time, but to find out that the person you loved died in that way is really difficult to deal with.

There is a suicide awareness day. My friend was telling everyone about it last year. People don't seem to really understand why people commit suicide, which is problematic. More awareness and understanding is definitely needed.
Harry
Killjoy
Harry
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 4
July 18th, 2009 at 05:22pm
i think that self harm is a way of coping with powerful emotions, its like a form of releasing these feelings without hurting other people, now when i get these strong emotions i will just sit in my room, lock the door and cry, im not afraid to admit that and i dont think it makes me any less of a "man" but people who self harm as a fashion statement. I have no respect for them whatsoever, that is just a mockery of people who genuinley feel the need hurt themself to save others
McrToTheEnd
Killjoy
McrToTheEnd
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 4
August 22nd, 2009 at 05:12pm
anyone who is thinking about 'cutting' i strongly suggest you dont. yeah, i did, and it made me feel better when i was doing it but i wish i didnt cause the scars which i have are hard to live with. especially through the summer. think twice okay
a touch of anarchy.
Shotgun Sinner
a touch of anarchy.
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Posts: 7981
August 23rd, 2009 at 08:37am
McrToTheEnd:
anyone who is thinking about 'cutting' i strongly suggest you dont. yeah, i did, and it made me feel better when i was doing it but i wish i didnt cause the scars which i have are hard to live with. especially through the summer. think twice okay
Scars can fade, y'know. If you use like, Bio-Oil or stuff, they pale down alot, so that aspect can be alright.

And if you cut just for attention, something is obviously wrong with you, if you resort to that.