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MCR artical in school news paper [need help with it!]

AuthorMessage
p a n d a_xx
Salute You in Your Grave
p a n d a_xx
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2123
January 2nd, 2007 at 11:45am
Heartache to sing

Bonnie Amsdill

“I am not afraid to keep on living.
I am not afraid to walk this world alone,
Honey, if you stay I’ll be forgiven.
Nothing you can say could stop me going home.”
-Famous Last Words
From the ashes of September 11, 2001 rose one of the most influential bands of the century. With their dark lyrics and message to be heard around the world. My Chemical Romance is taking the music industry by storm. With chart smashing hits as:
‘Helena’, ‘I’m not okay (I promise)’, “The Ghost Of You’, and with there newest release of “Welcome to the Black Parade’. Many are predicting that My Chemical Romance will be the Nirvana of the 21st century.

This is all I have so far but now I dont know what else to add.
rhiannon.
Motor Baby
rhiannon.
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 819
January 2nd, 2007 at 11:49am
yep well it sounds pretty good. im not into news papers much so i don't know. if its for a music article then go for it. maybe they are not as grungy as Nirvava but are just as big & famous.
i don't know where this is in the right thread
p a n d a_xx
Salute You in Your Grave
p a n d a_xx
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2123
January 2nd, 2007 at 11:52am
The problem is I dont know where to start with the next paragraph...thats where im having the most trouble on.
McFly...
Bleeding on the Floor
McFly...
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 1134
January 2nd, 2007 at 11:54am
It sounds really good so far. Perhaps you could do a brief review of each of their albums next?
Lina Envy
Joining The Black Parade
Lina Envy
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 241
January 2nd, 2007 at 11:55am
Well what's the point of the article? You've got a really good introduction, although there are some grammatical errors... Try talking about their origins, maybe, depending on the point of the article...
fabulous killjoy.
Moderator
fabulous killjoy.
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 46256
January 2nd, 2007 at 07:57pm
^^ Yeah, you should put the singles in order.

I like it though.
AmandaAdenine
Thinking Happy Thoughts
AmandaAdenine
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 454
January 2nd, 2007 at 09:23pm
You could take the next paragraph to introduce all the members and their roles in the band, or at least that's what I'd do.
MyChemSavesLives
Killjoy
MyChemSavesLives
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 30
January 3rd, 2007 at 12:27pm
so far so ood

Love is the red of the rose on your coffin door
What's life like, bleeding on the floor?
p a n d a_xx
Salute You in Your Grave
p a n d a_xx
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2123
January 3rd, 2007 at 05:11pm
ImNotOkayAtAll:
You could take the next paragraph to introduce all the members and their roles in the band, or at least that's what I'd do.


Hey, I think I'll do that =D Thanks
rhiannon.
Motor Baby
rhiannon.
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 819
January 29th, 2007 at 02:50pm
yup and get some stuff off here maybe print out some picture & that
Tragic.
Banned
Tragic.
Age: 85
Gender: Female
Posts: 12363
January 29th, 2007 at 05:39pm
Ohh I like that.
Yeah, i think you should prbably introduce them now =D.
Odalisque
Always Born a Crime
Odalisque
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 5541
January 29th, 2007 at 06:01pm
I don't have any suggestions for your next paragraph, but I do have a grammatical suggestion.

"With their dark lyrics and message to be heard around the world. My Chemical Romance is taking the music industry by storm." should be "With their dark lyrics and message to be heard around the world, My Chemical Romance is taking the music industry by storm."

"With their dark lyrics and message to be heard around the world." would be a sentence fragment if left alone.

You've done a great job, though! It sounds very professional and I couldn't have done it better!
MedicateYourLife
Shotgun Sinner
MedicateYourLife
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 7668
January 29th, 2007 at 06:08pm
I like it... Make's me want to read more.
no mikey no party
Killjoy
no mikey no party
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 72
January 31st, 2007 at 05:33am
wow man thats cool
no mikey no party
Killjoy
no mikey no party
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 72
January 31st, 2007 at 05:34am
im in maths lesson and im on internet
no mikey no party
Killjoy
no mikey no party
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 72
January 31st, 2007 at 05:42am
the sur is scereaming with me lol!!
johnny walker eyes.
Demolition Lover
johnny walker eyes.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 18195
January 31st, 2007 at 05:43am

Maaaaybe!

Talk about gerards drug addiction, and how the band saved his life.
Also, it may be an idea to talk on how the band has gotten that " mcr saved my life" thingy happening.
Do you know what i mean?

Sounds good so far.
Nice starting.
johnny walker eyes.
Demolition Lover
johnny walker eyes.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 18195
January 31st, 2007 at 05:43am
no mikey no party:
the sur is scereaming with me lol!!


Please stop spamming.
johnny walker eyes.
Demolition Lover
johnny walker eyes.
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 18195
January 31st, 2007 at 05:45am
Tragic.:

I think you should prbably introduce them now
Chemical_Romance
Salute You in Your Grave
Chemical_Romance
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4465
January 31st, 2007 at 08:25am

I loved writing about MCR at school.
One essay about them got me a an A -//B+ :]

And a fanfiction I wrote[[Yes, I gave a fanfiction as an essay]] got me an A...Oh yeah, MCR ruled my school life.