Underage Marriage/Engagement

Underage marriages and Engagments have become more common than most people know. Being telecasted on TV shows such as "Engaged and Underage" on MTV and young kids/teens striving to find the love of thier life beginning as early as 11 or younger. But, is it healthy for them to make such a decision so early? With every great decison of life comes the ups and downs. Plus, during adolelescent stage of life teens constantly change to seach for who they really are, so couldn't it interrupt a relationship between thier partner if by the end of High School they are completely different? Then, they'd have to crash into divorce which isn't such a lovely experience to have for anyone. Yet, it IS what they chose to do with thier lives right? But, then it makes you wonder who would let anyone do that at such a young age?

But, maybe there are good reasons for having underage marriage legal, yet personally, I am against it. Yes, they should have the right to marry who they want, I have nothing against that...but I don't think such a decision like that should be made this early in life as at that age because everyone is still learning about the troubles of life. Not because I think it's gross just for the sake of thier own sanity...

i agree that underage marriage/engagement is wrong.
i don't believe that you can find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with at 14.
a person is in the hight of adolensence at that age and at 20, 21 may turn out to be a completely different person to what they thought they were. and then, when they realise that they will be stuck with someone they promised to love forever when they have changed and don't anymore.
i alos think (and i may be hated for this. please don't yell) that it can be done for attention. for example, two 14 year old girls in my area decided that they love each other enough to get engaged. before they annonced this, no one even knew their name. now they are a major part of the area i live in and everyone talks to them about being so "different" and how wondeful it is that "they are in love forever". now personally, i think it was all for attention. and therefore, i think that underage engagement/marriage is wrong.

Completely wrong, for one I don't believe that young people (does that make me sounds really old?) completely understand what they are doing; most believe that they will be togehter until death, but the majority would probably be divorced within a year or so.
If they are still at school they don't know what they fully want in there life or where they might want to be when they are older; some of them might find that there country isn't where they want to be, or that they want to move to another state ect, would there partner be willing to up sticks and move with them? Probably not, especially since they might like the life they have there to begin with.

Underage engagement, not wrong.
Underage marriage, wrong.
Underage engagement, in my opinion, will usually fall apart.
My fiance is underage, so I have personal opinions on this. I don't think most people are ready to make this decision as a teenager, but sometimes it's possible.

i think its wrong, its just gonna be a waste of time and fall apart and youll be left scarred for life and you might not ever feel comfortable around men again because you might have been betrayed by some guy who thought it wasnt that important but actualy was. i've had experience because my 15 year old cousin got married and her parent didnt do a thing to stop it and now shes heartbroken and cant face up to any guys and she doenst want to date, cuts herself and all coz some asshole of a guy stufed things up for her. parents should take some responsibilitys 4 gods sake, she was 15, that IS NOT old enough to worry about the future, what is right or wrong or wether things are a good idea or not, all u wanna do is stuff around, have fun and junk like that, ur not SUPPOSED to worry about the future, money, looking after urself, thats what PARENTS DO! thats what there made 4.

Underage marriage is something I'm completely against. There's a reason laws exist to prevent children from drinking, driving cars, taking out loans, getting married, and a whole bunch of other stuff - they're adult decisions that kids simply don't have the experience, maturity, foresight or logic to recognise possible consequences.
As far as I'm aware, anybody can get engaged at any age, which is fine by me, because at the end of the day, if an engagement falls to bits there's no real consequence - the ring gets handed back and the relationship is over as simply as any other relationship. Marriage is a much more complicated matter and requires ten times as much effort to sever as it does to enter into.
The fact is that teens are, by nature, romantics at heart, idealistic, optimistic, and convinced that they know better than everybody else, which of course leads them into problems at every step - don't try and lie, we all know we were or are guilty of it. In that sense, I can see how kids want to get engaged and play happy families, but allowing teenagers to formally wed is not a great idea - if the divorce rate amongst 30-somethings is so high, what makes anybody think a teenager knows any better what they want out of life and a partner?
I also agree with the person who suggested that some kids do it for the attention. I recall that when I was in school, if a couple got engaged it was a huuuuge deal for everyone, and all we ever talked about - sometimes just sitting around, practically laying bets on how long it would last, and then the endless stream of gossip about their latest fight, that kind of crap. Kids tend to have a competitive streak - they want to be one up on all their peers, and sometimes teens get engaged in an attempt to prove to everyone that they're more mature, settled, and adult than those around them.
That MTV show, however, has proved rather interesting to me lately, seeing as my 21-year-old husband and I just got married. It's reassuring to me to see people my own age getting hitched, rather than feeling like I'm the only 20-year-old in the world who is sure enough of myself and our partnership to cement it. I don't have a problem with 18+ marriages - they're legally allowed to drink, vote, do all the adult stuff, so more power to them if they want to get married.
I personally feel that a lot of people my age look down on my husband and I for marrying so young. I figure that, not only are we having a child together, which is the biggest commitment you can ever make, even above marriage in my book, but that in our grandparents' day, they got married around the age of 20 and had two or three kids by the time they were 25 - and the divorce rates back then were miniscule. My own grandmother was married at 19 and had her first child (my dad) three weeks before her 21st birthday, and she and my grandfather were married and very much in love until he died a couple of years ago (she's now in her late 60s). I figure people these days are too selfish, so I'm confident my marriage will work, despite the fact that my husband and I are so young.

It is possible to fall in love with someone when your a teen,or even younger,but at that age you cant possibly make that decision.At that age you dont even know what you want to do with your life.Married life seems rosy when your young,but its not exactly a holiday.A marriage is somthing you work at.

^I definitely agree with that.
Yes, it's totally possible to be in love with someone during your teen years, but that might change, and teenagers are too headstrong to compromise and do the hard yards that marriage entails, so I'd put money on it failing.
I figure you can always marry your childhood/high-school sweetheart if you're still together in your 20s, so why not wait and see?

My sister knows someone who got married when she was 15 after having her and her bfs first baby and are still married to this day (and she is in her 30s i believe). But in that case she made the adult decision to keep the baby and to raise the baby, so I can see why she would be in the position to make the adult decision to marry the baby's father. But most teenagers don't have that kind of foresight or maturity to make a decision like that. How many times do we see on this forum girls saying "I love this guy! I know he is the one!!" and then like a week later "I don't like him anymore, what should I do!!!" Plus, what's with the rush to get married? If the guy/girl loves you, he can wait until you are 18 or even 21 (comeone so you can at least drink at your wedding if you are in America >_> to get married.

i don't think it's wrong.
i just don't think it would work.
in most situations, anyway.

A lot of times it doesn't work when you are OF AGE....
So whats the difference?

underage engagement and marriage are not wrong...just unadvisable. I read in a national geographic magazine a girl as young as 10 is already married but not of her liking. And it said that young teenage women getting pregnant are more likely to have complications during childbirth. Anyways, a friend of mine got engaged to a korean guy and the guy isn't good at english so they barely understand each other

its not such a good idea cause you can grow apart and start wanting different things

S713:

A lot of times it doesn't work when you are OF AGE....
So whats the difference?

Because if two adults, who have had relatively extensive experience in the dating game, can't make a relationship work, what in hell makes you think a pair of little kids who don't know any better can?
I remember thinking that the guy I dated when I was 15 was the one, that he had all the characteristics I could possibly want in a life partner.
Well, I look back five years later and I was soooo far off track it's not even funny. But if we'd been able to get married back then, we probably would have, and now I'd be a 20-year-old divorcee with two kids, no money, and constantly taking this guy to court demanding he pay child support while I live with my parents because I can't go out and work if I have children to look after.

At least when adults marry, they have dated people for a few years, they've grown into their own personalities and understand what they want out of a partner, what they're willing to compromise on, and they have some degree of independence, so if the marriage fails they can pretty much go back to the way their life was - they still have money, they can get a home to live in, they have a job, etc. If you get married at 14 and divorce at 17, you're essentially screwed because you don't have any independence, and the person you married was probably your first boy or girlfriend, so you have no understanding of what you want from a partner, and you're so young you don't even understand yourself, and guaranteed you're going to change dramatically over the next five or ten years.
Underage engagement is fine, as there's no legality or cost involved in severing the relationship if it doesn't work out, but nobody who can't legally vote, drink, drive or join the army should be able to marry - it's far too big a decision to make lightly, or with a child's logic.

personally i think that people that young shouldnt get engaged

if you are in a relationship and truly think you will end up being married then why not wait a few years, until you're older to get engaged, therefore if you do stay together you'll still get engaged, but you're giving yourself more time to see how the relationship progresses as you both change as you grow older

I can see not getting married, but honestly what's wrong with getting engaged?
You can break off an engagement quite easily when you're younger because you're not living together, you don't need to divide assets, etc.
It's much easier to break at engagement when you're underage than when you're older.
I'm not saying you should get engaged when you're underage as opposed to waiting, I just think it's stupid to tell young people not to get engaged.
They can anyway, as it's not a legally binding agreement.

I think marriage should only occur when the two people fully understand what marriage is. It's not about just being in love. It's not about living with the person and having sex with them and the passion you feel. Marriage is about combining your life with someone elses, about each person giving up a part of theirself and becoming a single person together. It's about living one life.

You can't really give up yourself to someone until you fully understand who you are. You might know what you like and what you enjoy doing and who your friends are, but these things don't really define your "inner self." You have to know who you are inside, what your personality is, what your faults are, what your weakness are, what your needs as a person are before you can join lives with someone else.

For me, I had to finish college and struggle through a variety of jobs before I really knew who I was. I had to spend eleven years of my life in relationships to really understand how I spoke, how I reacted, how I communicate with others when I'm upset, how to respect and treat the other person. I had to learn how to listen without acting out. You have to realize that your words, actions and body language affect the people around you in strong ways. You have to learn how to talk rather than fight. You have to always put yourself in the other's shoes before judging them. You have to realize that passion fades and sex declines. You have to understand that marriage takes work. It's not finding the right person, it's being the right person. It's a partnership, not a fairytale.

All of this is what I think people should be able to comprehend before getting married. It's a big decision. I know. I just got married on Friday.

Cigarettes And Suicide:

I remember thinking that the guy I dated when I was 15 was the one, that he had all the characteristics I could possibly want in a life partner.
Well, I look back five years later and I was soooo far off track it's not even funny.

My mom has said the same thing.
Except replace 15 with 31
A lot of adults have.
My point is, that that happens anyway.
You can be 15, 20, 50, 78, 132 (132? )
But usually the majority of relationships you go into fail.
You'll have a few exceptions.
But remember I said a few.

i wouldnt call it wrong
idiotic yea
but wrong...not so much

i think that ppl are pretty much incapable of tying their own shoes correctly much less get married
besides dont u have to have permission?
where are the parents i ask....where are the parents??

i personaitly dont think it's wrong
people should love how they want
how they want
and when they want
heck if i could i would marry my boyfriend of almost a year but i want to wait.......cause i know that we wont brake up but that i know he wants to wait to thats the kinda realitionshop we have we argee on a lot of things and our future is one of hem as much as we love one a nother were still going to wait.