Underage Marriage/Engagement
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| fxmous-lxst-words Joining The Black Parade  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 226 | |
| idk. my bff jill? Demolition Lover  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 18372 | i'm not too fond of underage marriage. 23-24+ is better. No 15 year old is capable of making those kind of decisions. |
| druscilla. Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 38 Gender: Female Posts: 1671 | fxmous-lxst-words: It doesn't mean you don't, either. |
| followill. In The Murder Scene  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 23274 | I think 50% it's wrong and 50% it's right if you love someone then you love someone  |
| BeautifulEmoDisaster Killjoy Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 9 | underage marriage is wrong... i look at it as we teens think we know love but wen we look back at that relationship we realize that it wasnt love.... you may think it but your mind changes as well as who your heart wants.... marriage just isnt 4 the minors...im not saying adults r more smarted CUZ THEY'RE NOT! but idk...if minors could get married we'd have lil 12 yr old kids running round getting married.... |
| UndyingSoul. Really Not Okay  Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 722 | BeautifulEmoDisaster: Thats very true. Some teens might use the right with responsibility and might have a lasting marriage, but if it was legalized then we would have crushing teens going around marrying and divorcing like crazy. I think that 18 is a pretty good age. Some people even abuse the right to marry at 18, but like I said before, it does work out sometimes for people. So basically do not think that underage marriage is ok. I mean, if you guys were REALLY in love you should be able to wait a couple years to get married. |
| Millstone Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 1027 | I do not think anyone under the age of 18 is mature enough for marriage. It's hard enough for adults. Have you seen the divorce rate? The teen years is the age when you are constantly changing in every way possible. I'm a completely different person than I was 4 years ago. Hell 2 years ago. My views on everything are different. How do you know that your significant other is going to grow with you? As you get older you get set in your ways. Plus getting through college together would be tough and wouldn't you want to experience life? Date other people? Sure there is that one high school sweetheart that makes it but that extremely rare. |
| x-Hail Of Bullets-x Thinking Happy Thoughts  Age: 39 Gender: Female Posts: 483 | I sorta think that marriage is wrong, period. So I'm probably a bit biased. I see that it's important to other people though. But after saying that, I'm still a bit torn about the issue. Marriage is afterall just a piece of paper saying you love each other. And there is that magical thing called 'divorce' these days, so if it does turn out to be a mistake, it can always be rectified. On one hand, MOST 15 year olds are physically capable of making a baby. So why shouldn't they be able to get married? I think that getting married is far less of a deal then having a baby. Like I said marriage can be nullified where as a baby most certainly cannot. I think that if someone of that age THINKS they're mature enough and THINKS they're making the right decision, whose to say their wrong? I think really it's more up to how that person feels. But, of course 15 year olds and the like are completely immature. I know that I'm alot different now then when I was 18 even. I think it probably is too young to be making a potentially life long decision. But then again, perhaps it's better to let people make mistakes and let them learn from them. Yeah, I can't decide one way or the other. |
| druscilla. Bleeding on the Floor Age: 38 Gender: Female Posts: 1671 | Underage marriage shouldn't be allowed, in my opinion, just because they're not legally adults. Underage engagement is completely different. |
| Beeblebrox Really Not Okay  Age: 45 Gender: Female Posts: 688 | x-Hail Of Bullets-x: Ahh. That's where you're wrong, I'm afraid. Marriage is much more than a piece of paper. It's two people committing to live together as one person, to act and love and make decisions as one person. It's symbolic and holds meaning for you and your families who are coming together as one big family. It can also be a spiritual journey for those who have strong faith. It can be a confirmation of your beliefs and support towards a sacred institution your religion has set forth. Having been recently married myself, I can honestly attest it DOES feel different than just living with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Our marriage ceremony was very important to us, it bound us together in an emotional, spiritual way that we would not have experienced otherwise. Our marriage has brought us to a deeper level of love together. We are closer than we have ever been in seven years together. When we introduce each other as husband or wife, we make a far more important statement about our role in each other's lives. Plus, the document you sign also seals your legal commitments, that you are bound to the other person and accept responsibility for all accounts. It's a very sincere and serious undertaking. That being said, marriage is truly transforming but you can't really comprehend how it until you get there. |
| gerardislove Fabulous Killjoy  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 139 | ok well i'm against underage marriage because teenagers really don't know who they are yet. like take me for example. i've changed so much in just half a year. i've become punk and a vegetarian. and changed in my confidence, and my music taste. i never really thought much of music. i had no idea rock and other music could have this much of an effect on a person! sadly i've only known about mcr since the beginning of this year. but they've completely changed my life. so my point is that i suppose i could be another totally different person in a couple of years. who knows??? and just the rollercoaster of being a teenager might be enough to make a relationship crumble. |
| queenfreddiemercury Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 42 Gender: Female Posts: 1009 | I think underage marriage is wrong as for the engagement part I think you need to do all of thinking before you ask somebody to marry you. |
| Not Afraid Anymore Killjoy  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 26 | hehehe... i see nothing wrong with it. of course, i have my own personal reasons...  I just don't think that it should be illegal because it's not our lives. Let people make their decisions, if it blows up in their face... well, then they have lived and learned. :] |
| Cigarettes And Suicide Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 39 Gender: Female Posts: 1725 | Beeblebrox:I totally agree wth you there. I've always believed in marriage, maybe because my parents are still happily married after 22 years, and have raised me to believe that life goes kind of like: go to school, graduate, go to university and get a degree, get a job, get married, have babies, live happily ever after. Okay, I missed out on the university and career bit, but I'm the kind of traditionalist who really does believe in women being the homemakers and men being the breadwinners, so meh - I made my bed, and I'm happy to lie in it. But yes, I definitely feel that marriage is soooo much more than 'a piece of paper' or just a legal thing - your family becomes bigger and gains new members, people take you so much more seriously when you introduce each other as 'my husband' or 'my wife', and although I can't speak for my man, I feel much closer to him now - in my mind, we're not two separate people anymore, rather one person shared between two bodies and minds. I've had defacto relationships before and I can honestly say that there's a big, big difference between living with your partner, and marrying them and committing yourself to them for life. As for underage marriage - Hell no. If you're mature enough to handle the responsibility, you're mature enough to be able to wait it out a couple of years. Get engaged, whatever - swap rings and brag to the world about how in love you are. At least if things go wrong, it's a simple matter of handing back the ring (or keeping it, depending on the circumstance) and moving on with your life - divorce is a super-complicated matter. |
| Beeblebrox Really Not Okay Age: 45 Gender: Female Posts: 688 | I think if I had to be a home maker, I'd die. Plus, my husband would die because he'd have to eat my cooking which sucks! But to each his own. There is no one single solution for everyone, but I whole heartedly support waiting until you've settled into a career before marrying. There's nothing worse than two people trying to become one when neither really understand who they want to be beforehand. |
| Flies Killjoy Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 11 | I agree that underage marriage is not necessarily a good thing. For older generations, marriage while in early - midteens seemed to be a common thing, but so many of them were required to take on much more responsible roles than I feel most teenagers these days could cope with. Marriage is such a huge commitment. No matter how much you love your partner, a long term relationship requires a heck of a lot of work. The key thing is "till death do us part" and so many cannot comprehend the size of that statement. As a generalisation, I don't think underage teens these days have the maturity to manage a relationship through the lows as well as the highs. The first bad patch doesn't mean you ditch and head out. Although I will allow that there are exceptions to that perception. |
| Cigarettes And Suicide Bleeding on the Floor Age: 39 Gender: Female Posts: 1725 | Beeblebrox:I can understand where a lot of people would be coming from with that statement, but I actually believe that the divorce rate is so much higher in today's society because couples find it too hard to try and merge two separate lives into one when they get married. Back in our grandparents' day, people tended to marry in their early 20's, before they had settled into anything like a career or being independent (they pretty much went from their parents' home to their marital home), and they seemed to find it a lot easier to forge a life together out of nothing, than trying to mash two different, well-established lives together - I mean, these days, people are marrying when they already have their own place, their own car, their own career, they get set into their little habits and what not, and it's hard to find compromise when they decide to settle down with a partner. I mean, my husband and I pretty much had nothing when we began our relationship - there was no dilemma of who would move into whose house and who would give up their apartment, we didn't have two separate sets of cookware, stereos, TVs, pets etc etc - it was so easy to just find an apartment together and start building our lives as one, rather than trying to force everything to come together nicely. Of course, I definitely understand that not all couples are like us, and I appreciate the common sense to be found in waiting until you're established and what not before committing yourself to another person, but I've always known from a very young age that I wanted not much more than to be a wife and mother, and that I wanted to do it young - the only trick was to find a man who wanted the same qualities in a partner as what I wanted for myself, and luckily I found my husband a couple of years ago. We were friends and lived together (in separate bedrooms, I was seeing another guy at the time) for a period before we began our relationship, so I already knew that this was a man I could be with forever. Just little things, like the fact that we both love cats and wanted to get a pet, to the fact that we both wanted to start families very young - as soon as possible, in fact. The fact that he believes in working to support his family, as long as his girl is doing her job cooking nice meals and raising his babies right, and the fact that he's not only willing, but more than happy to give up drinking with his buddies on weekends in order to save money so that we can buy a house together, rather than throw dead money at renting a crappy apartment well into our adult years. He's a rare find, and I guess I'm a rare girl, so for us it all works perfectly. |
| Beeblebrox Really Not Okay Age: 45 Gender: Female Posts: 688 | Cigarettes And Suicide: Well, maybe for some, but for everyone in my family (every last parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent and cousin are divorced) it all boiled down to unrealistic expectations, total breakdown of communication and a lack of willingness to make the marriage work. I find that people find it easier to point, blame and jump ship rather than really start listening to each other and trying to find a compromise. Marriage trouble doesn't arise from combining apartments, cookware, stereos, TVs, pets etc. Combining lives is more than just combining furniture and toys. You also combine your personalities, your flaws, your faiths (or lack of), your dreams, your goals, your careers. That's the main point I have for waiting. People need to understand all of these before you get married. Cigarettes And Suicide: Well, I don't know many people who don't have a career or some sort of life plan in their early twenties. And I'm not saying you need to discover independence. I'm just saying you need to fully understand yourself, your wants, desires, your goals in life before you attempt in combining those dreams, desires and goals with someone elses. That's where it gets tricky, when you marry but end up realizing that you do not both want the same lifestyle. But you said yourself, that all you had in mind was having children and being a housewife. Your lifestyle is much simpler than most and so it works for you. |
| asleep!or!DEAD Killjoy  Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 11 | I don't think it's wrong at all. Nobody knows what another person feels for someone. Nobody but that person can make the decision to say yes. Though I do agree that under fifteen is too young to be married, at least in this day and age, I still think that it's a personal choice. If it's what the couple wants to do, then it's what the couple is going to do. |
| asleep!or!DEAD Killjoy Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 11 | fxmous-lxst-words: I'm going to argue this point. Just stating my opinion is all. I think if you're under fifteen, and you think you love someone. You might just actually love them. Nobody has the right to tell you who you love and who you don't love. I believe in love at first sight, say you're only fifteen and you meet someone, and you know right away that they're the one for you. Nobody has the right to tell you you're wrong. Because it's your own choice and your own life. Other people can just learn to deal with it. |
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