Parents

Dads are also important. Most of my friends favor their moms but i don't. I don't have a favorite parent. They both are important to me and they've been a big part of who i am today.
Concerning the hating your parents thing, i think that fine, children could hate their parents but their should always be room for forgiveness. i mean, they gave you life, didn't they? At least they stuck with you during the times you were defenseless specially those first nine months(well, this goes for moms)

My dad is reaaly important. And I can understand why some of you would think dads arn't important is you never had one.

^ I definitely agree, it's about quality, not quantity. But I do feel that, if a parent isn't available or necessarily suitable, then there should be a family friend, grandparent or similar role model for a child to look up to an learn from.
I think good fathers are just as important for litle girls as they are for little boys - the whole stereotype of a fatherless girl searching for a replacement or a 'father figure' in her relationships as an adult usually doesn't work out well.

Both parents are important, whether they're there as an example of good or bad. Personally, I hate my parents. But at least they serve a purpose as a role model for what I don't want to do in my life. I know a family who had an abusive father/husband, and my dad was abused by his stepdad. With enough brains, these people can use this as an example as what not to do.

^ That's a really good point.
I agree with that for sure. I personally want to model my parenting on my parents' abilities, as they always did a good job with absolutely everything except communication. I mean, I could talk to them whenever I needed to, about whatever I needed to, but they're not the kind of people who'll sit around over coffee and have a meaningful discussion the way my husband's parents do.
On the other hand, my father-in-law talks way too much crap for me to stay interested more than ten minutes at a time, and although he does it in a nice way, he pretty much feels like he's 100% correct and his opinion is the only one that counts - it's like he's only interested in hearing mine so he can spend another two hours telling me why I'm wrong and describing his personal experiences; so I'm not saying I want to go to that extreme, but I would like to be able to talk to my kids about things that my parents never talked to me about (for example, my life before I had kids - I don't know anything about my parents before they were married, except a couple of stories from when they were kids).

That being said, my in-laws (well, my father-in-law anyway, my mother-in-law's great) aren't great parents. My husband had his own bowie knife and gun by the time he was four, and his father went on like it was necessary for kids to have such dangerous 'toys' because, hey, they had to learn not to hurt themselves eventually, so why not start them early? He was reckless at times, like driving through really high floodwaters with toddlers in the car, and just doing irresponsible things that leave me horrified at the thought of me allowing/doing that to my own child.

So parents are important in that respect too - you learn from their mistakes and mold your own philosophies on how to raise your own kids from taking the good bits from your parents, and making sure to leave the bad bits out.

were i come from, there is no such thing as "a good father"
my dad has tried to kill my mom, told me that he would kill my mom and himself if that would make me (and i quote) "a happy little bitch" by the way, i was 11 when he said that.

also, we went on vacation last year and he went to get food and brought back pizza, i told him the night before that i couldn't have pizza anymore because i was sick of it (my mom and brother work for a pizza place) so i didn't have anything to eat that day.

we went home about 18-20 hours later and i was starving so mom bought me some KFC snkers when we got home, and my dad threw me down the hallway and raised bloody hell all because i was eating one of them.

compared to everything else he's done to me, thats nothing...

First, I do think the absence of a father in a child's life can possibly have negative effects. Possibly. If we are talking about young girls: I know a lot of girls who have bad relationships with men throughout their lives because they didn't have have a positive image of a strong male role model in their lives. If you are speaking, psychologically: a girl's relationship with her father is VERY important. It can be the difference between having good healthy relationships with men and having bad ones. However, this isn't always true, although I know few girls myself that have managed to get along fine without a father (without having a negative image of men). It just differs from person to person. I think as long as a girl has one strong male influence in her life, she will really be okay with men in general, whether it be a grandfather, brother, cousin, etc. And because of the ways the "standard family" has changed, this has become easier. Some girls can just manage to get along fine. These days, anyone can think of many other reasons why a girl can or cannot be okay without a father, so I could be blabbing about nothing. I'm sure in some cases, I stand corrected.

I agree. Having a bad relationship with my father makes me think that every guy is like that, especially since that's what my mom always told me when I was younger. Unfortunately, I never had a good male role model when I was younger, either. I find it realy difficult to get close to and trust guys, because I'm always afraid they'll be just like my dad.

IDK the fathers, well some of them get less credit than needed but others. Gash,well my dad does'nt live with me he lives in Arkansas and I live in Florida well he didnt pay child support 4 a couple of years itz not that we were in financial distress but he needed to do something. So my dad actually owed my like 10 thousand in child support so yeah

I never had a steady male figure in my life until 13.

I also learned that females are MORE sexist then males.
At least from my experiences.
So please don't say that living with only a father will make somebody sexist.

I didn't really need a dad/father/whatever you want to call it
But it wasn't the best feeling not having one. I also would be lying if a said it was a good thing.

But on the other side, I did create a strong bond with my mom...

Neither of them are really good parents.

I think it depends more on the child being raised then it does the parents.
Some kids will turn out fine with 1/2
But, like anything else...
1/2 a puzzle isn't complete. You always need to have the second half to make a whole.

honestly, i may not have a good father but i do think that they dont get enough credit, not all dads are bad.

_________
go ahead say it! you're leaving again
but you'll come back running

likepixiedust:

Both parents are important, whether they're there as an example of good or bad. Personally, I hate my parents. But at least they serve a purpose as a role model for what I don't want to do in my life. I know a family who had an abusive father/husband, and my dad was abused by his stepdad. With enough brains, these people can use this as an example as what not to do.

That prettymuch covers my dad. He was okay on the rare occasion when he was sober, but when he got drunk he overdid things. He broke a few bones in his day. Now my parents are divorced and he lives all the way across the country. I miss him, but I can't say the household has suffered. I'm just relieved that I can stop trying to make up excuses to cover his butt. If there's anything I've learned from him it's that alcohol in excess can cause good people to lose control. And I won't make that same mistake with my kids.

i think a father figure can be important, if it's a good father figure. fathers seem to have the tendency to say and do things to make your life harder, but if actually have the luck of having a good one, i think that can be really important it's not needed in every case, just some.

about the hating thing, i agree totally. kids have all the right to hate their parents if they have done something to make them hate them. just because they're your parents doesn't make what they did dissapear. since they're your parents, it makes it easier to forgive them, but it doesn't mean that you should.

fathers rule if it wasnt for mine i would be dead

i think its a good thing to have both a mother and father figure. i mean with me, i could care less if i had my dad around, i mean mines never really been there for me, ignores me, and doesn't care. but i know you should have a male figure around to look up to. like some of my friends, they have wonderful fathers and, i know they would be so sad if they didn't have them. but with me i don't need one. and i think that, that's also what some people mean when they say you don't need a father figure, and what some would mean when they think you don't need a mother figure. like if they've never really had one then they think it not necessary. and not in the sense that you've never had a dad but that maybe he just wasn't a good one if that makes sense.

I believe the children can function without a father, but a male figure is absolutely needed. My father left my household and since that dreadful day I've been as jacked up an misguided as ever, but with male guidance (adult male) I have recently been getting straightened out.
Males are essential in the upbringing of a child because, unlike women, males have the tendency to not let emotions get the best of them. They also present a firm ground and firm guidance. At least, that’s my experience. I understand some men are weak and don't prove to be as good of a father-figure as others. In that case, simply a strong woman with a strong resolve can make a similar performance, but it's still in my belief that males are better for such a job.
Everything simplified: You need a male figure or, if a male is nowhere to be found, a strong woman.

I won't comment on that question of hate towards parents. I had something all nice and written out, then my brain crashed.