Middle-School Romance

I think in middle school people have an understanding of the comcept of love. Give us some credit! Some of us aren't nearly as imature and irresponsible and wreckless as the steryotype. But few people really truly feel 'in love' with someone at our age: but people who really do love each other or someone in middle school... people like that do exist!
But, I think people in middle school are often confused about relationships because of the standards that are set. (In my school atleast) Many parents are getting divorced and for people who get the example of how to love from their parents, this can be frusturating. They (the kid) thought they (mom and dad) loved each other, they looked at them as how they might want to be with someone some day, therefore this clouding their judgement. The definition of love they thought they understood becomes blurred, and they don't know what love is, if they even had an idea to begin with.

well, im in 8th grade and i see this ALL THE TIME! i personally think it's fine...to me, you can't put an age on love. you can't say, ":well, when you turn 17 you are old enough to fall in love." to me, that's not how it works. but i do think its sooo dumb when two people will start dating and after a day they apparently love each other. i DONT agree with that. i think any relationship, no matter what age, requires the two to get to know each other. i think "sayaprayer" said this (sorry if i'm wrong) that sure it may not be as serious or in depth as a relationship between two college students, but it's still something. i think anything more than making out is too far.

The Shadow:

But what everyone seems to be forgetting is that it CAN work.

People that think about marriage from a young age can go on, get married and live happy lives together. It's not 100% certain but it does happen.

Surely, no one should be denied the chance of finding the person they may or may not spend the rest of their lives with. In this case, as with many, the level of maturity is so much more important than the age.

Of course it can work, but the chances of two 15 year olds staying in love together for [theoretically] forever are quite slim.

And yes, no one should be denied of finding love, but I think young teens get an idea in their head and then they run with it; they don't think about how a huge decision such as marriage in their teen years will effect them in years to come. Teenagers also tend to think with their hormones instead of with their commonsense. Most people have boyfriends / girlfriends throughout highschool, and it is so easy to feel that they are "the one", when they're just someone you lust after.

Not to get too personal, but I have told [most] of my ex's that I've loved them [and visa versa], but it doesn't mean that we have stayed together, if that makes sense. I've felt what I thought was love for most of my ex's, when it didn't turn out to be love at all. Teens can be too quick to rush into things.

this is interesting becoz where i come from, conservative Asian families in general are against romance & intimate affections btwn anyone younger than 18. And even when you're older than 18, some overprotective parents will demand u bring your boyfriend/girlfriend home for a 'screen test'!

Generally, though, the most likely thing you might hear from the average parent/guardian figure here is "Concentrate on your studies first!" =P

As to your questions:
-Does it really qualify as something serious?
Who knows. If you try to tell a 10-yr-old that his affection is nothing more than puppy love, he'll disagree with you through & through. As long as nothing risky is happening, it's probably best to treat it as a phase.

-At what age does someone become entitled to having a boyfriend/girlfriend?
There is no such thing as 'entitlement'. Attraction is attraction. it's what you do with it that matters; & frankly, I don't think most adolescents can help their hormones. Whether they actually pursue their crush or stay in their room daydreaming, these things will happen. And holding hands never got anyone pregnant.

-When has it gone too far?
When you DO get pregnant. When unprotected sex between uninformed individuals takes place. Or when, out of immaturity, emotional blackmail takes place (i.e. 'if you can't even touch me there, it means u don't love me' ). Also, if your studies & social life suffers noticeably because of your romance.

-Pros and cons
Pros:
1. it feels good to be in love & releases healthy endorphins (feelgood hormones).
2. all that fumbling & making mistakes helps u deal with future relationships

Cons:
(see 'When has it gone too far?' )

The Shadow:

I totally understand 'Sprinkles' what you are coming from an agree to a certain extent. However, there is no harm in trying. Part of being a teenager is experimenting. If this is shown through alcohol and drugs, why can't it be shown through love too?

They may not always be together, they may last a lifetime who knows? But if in the moment, it's what they want to do then I say go ahead.

I know, with that frame of mind, people can be hurt. But people can be hurt in adult relationships too. As long as the couple involved keep an open mind and know that it may not last forever (as with every relationship) then, I believe a bit of harmless romance is fine.

Some people take things worse than others where relationships are concerned but this too can happen in the adult world. Surely, a relationship with someone helps you grow and whether or not you break up, you learn something from that.

I'm not saying they can't fall in love; in fact, if you read my post, I stated that "most people throughout high school have boyfriends / girlfriends" or something to that extent. I was purely talking about teenagers wanting to stay with their high school sweetheart "forever and ever", which is actually how a lot of teens think when it comes to love. Most people are burned by love in their teen years - all I was saying was that teens need to understand that once you fall in love, it is not guaranteed it is going to stay as love forever.

im 11 and when i was seven (or six can't quite remember!) i got my first boyfriend, duncan. am i screwed up?????

i think any one can be in love to the point of thier understanding of love

Well, I believe that love is different for everyone. There's no one definition of love, and you'll really know when you've found it. I'm in eighth grade currently, and I've been in a few relationships, but I know I haven't been in love. However, a lot of my friends are in really good relationships. For example, two of my friends have been together for about eight months. They talk about things, and it's not just some stupid "ya we went to the movies....we HELD HANDS........".

I can really tell that they're in love, and I really think they're going to last into highschool.
However, a lot of relationships I see in my school, people say they love each other the first day, and its pretty obvious that it's not love.

And honestly, as long as no one's getting pregnant, why does it even matter?

I'm going to judge the following based on MY TOWN. So sorry if I offend anyone, this is how I see it.


-Does it really qualify as something serious?

Absolutely not. It's just what the kids do to make themselves seem cool, they really don't care. Maybe a guy gets a boner once in a while but it's really just to impress their friends and to be "cool".

-At what age does someone become entitled to having a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Hmm. It really depends on the maturity of the person I believe. I can't answer this one.

-When has it gone too far?

When they start having sex.

-Pros and cons

Pro - I guess you could be "cool" in my town - fuck that.
Con - You make yourself look like a dumbass to all the other kids.

LEt me guess, she thinks she's going to marry him?

Domenic:

LEt me guess, she thinks she's going to marry him?

Of course not.

If it comes to that, sure. We live in a small town and there is a small shred of possibility they could end up together through some twist of fate, but she does not think that she's going to marry him.

Eighth grade kids aren't as stupid and naive as people make them out to be, honestly.

Russian Roulette:

Domenic:

LEt me guess, she thinks she's going to marry him?

Of course not.

If it comes to that, sure. We live in a small town and there is a small shred of possibility they could end up together through some twist of fate, but she does not think that she's going to marry him.

Eighth grade kids aren't as stupid and naive as people make them out to be, honestly.

I'm not stereotyping eighth grade kids at all, last year I was in eighth grade, but in my town they're so stupid. They think they're going to get married - all of them. They're all the same, sorry it's true.

Obviously you're town is different.

techno cocaine.:

I'm not going to say that eighth grade kids are "stupid", but you have to admit that a lot of them are naive. What does one know about the world when they're 13 or 14? Not a lot, and that can affect their maturity. When I look back to when I was in year 8, I can't believe how incredibly naive myself and my friends were when it can to things like love. We would talk about our boyfriends like they were the loves of our lives. Urgh, seriously.

Most people will look back on that time and think to themselves, what was I thinking?. Some of you will probably disagree, but that's probably because you're at the age at the moment.

I don't disagree with the most part, but the fact I've gone through so much shit in my life I haven't made a bad decision or thought like that since sixth grade.

techno cocaine.:

^But do you think that you will think about love like you do now when you're, say, 21?

I don't think about love right now. I know it's bullshit at my age.