| Author | Message |
|---|
ReadyFreddie.
Bulletproof Heart
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 25545 | September 7th, 2011 at 01:39pm
Dear Jenny,
I miss you too. I really do.
I promise that it's not a case of 'not giving a shit'. I can assure you of that with 100% confidence.
The thing is that I've changed a lot as a person since five years ago. I've changed in a variety of ways thanks to a whole load of circumstances, and one of the main ways that I've changed is in the way that I communicate you.
I can understand why you think I don't give a shit- I've been really sucky at keeping in contact. The truth, though, is that it's not just with you- it's with everyone. During my whole first year at uni, I didn't do any socialising at all; I've lost touch with all of my old friends; and if I do end up talking to anyone, it's always a few lines of a conversation in BBM, and then it goes silent for a few more weeks, or months, or for however long the interval usually is.
You could even ask Joanna, and she'd tell you that we hardly see each other nowadays.
I've developed into a hermit. When I say hermit, I don't mean like it was five years ago, where I'd just sit on a PC for 17 hours and not be able to go out because I was too enthralled in this virtual life I was leading. I mean that nowadays, it's just impossible for me to get out. In short, I've got more problems than you can shake a stick at.
I'm sorry I don't reply to your texts. The thing is that I'm not exactly the most well off person around. When I can, I usually buy something from Orange so I can get free BBM and internet, but it only lasts a month. Currently, though, I'm around 300-400 quid into my overdraft. With the cost of a train back to Middlesbrough looming, and the fact that I have to buy furniture this year, topping up my phone has sorta slipped down my list of priorities.
But yeah. I'm sorry. I've just changed a lot. If I'm honest, I haven't really seen many people. Especially in London. I saw my friend Harry once to help him with a uni interview, and I've seen Joanna- but other than that, I've been keeping myself to myself, because that's just who I've become. I'm sorry.
I hope you're okay.
--Ravi
xo |
mandylorian
In the Cannibal Glow
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53013 | September 7th, 2011 at 07:43pm jessi,
well. it's almost september 10th. meaning 11 years since you passed away.
i still think about you all the time. and i miss you so much. more than words can ever say.
you seriously were like a sister to me. a sister that i never had. and don't get me wrong;
i sincerely do love my brother's wife, but i always wonder about you and him;
if you hadn't passed away, and if you two would have married each other instead.
you were such a wonderful person. i miss you. this day is always so hard for me.
i was so young when you passed away. it literally corrupted my youth.
my views on life have never been the same. i wish you were still here.
xxx - mandy
[i can't even stand to look at this in normal size. it bothers me, emotionally.
but i really needed to type this. and get it all out.] |
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778 | September 9th, 2011 at 02:39pm Help me out? You owe me one..but I owe you so fucking much more. Still, no-one else could give a fuck. I can't believe I didn't see this coming. Thanks for that parting shot. I just wanna forget that. So badly. I can't believe you...I just can't believe it. Life sucks right now, and I really think yours does too. Why the hell shouldn't it? They just...aaahhh whatever. If you lied I lied as well. I just feel led on. And if you don't help me,no-one's gonna. But did you ever really help me? Oh fuck. Waste of time. Fuck this. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 10th, 2011 at 08:25am Cody,
as far as im concerned
im nothing more to you than a make-out buddy
but im starting to see you care about me more and more
im not sure if its real or not
but i enjoy it regardless
Vanessa |
heartstrings.
Demolition Lover
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 18470 | September 10th, 2011 at 10:30pm T,
I was almost over you. I didn't like it but I was so close to just accepting things as they are now. And then I got that message from you. And I realized I don't think I'll ever be over you and I just can't accept things the way they are. At all. I know you're with someone else now - trust me, I know. It hurts me every time I think about it. The only way I even tolerate it is because I tell myself you're happy. You're happy with her. Which makes me wonder if you were ever truly happy with me...but then I remind myself you were never really "with" me. You just told me you loved me, told me how much you hoped I would fall in love with you, too. And when I did...you were gone. I blame myself. A lot. Because I know I'm the one to blame. I should've told you how I felt before it was "too late," and that sounds so goddamned cliche but it's so true. I had several opportunities and I was just so unsure of myself when I shouldn't have been. I loved you. I still do. Part of me always will because I will never forget or erase the memories between us. I still think back to that one night, that one kiss, and it makes my heart sink every time. Because I know I'll probably never have that now. I love you. I really do. So much that I can't put it into words. I think about you sometimes when I can't go to sleep. That would upset some people but I don't think about the fact that I don't have you anymore. I think about what it'd be like if I did. Or I think about the fact that you're happy now. Because if you're happy, I can deal with it. If you're happy, even if it's not with me, I can deal with it. And I remember things we used to do. How we used to be there for each other endlessly, how we were best friends, how you were just so amazing.
And I wish I had the courage to send this to you...but I don't. I love you.
|
look alive sunshine.
Shotgun Sinner
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 8012 | September 11th, 2011 at 12:16am n~
goodnight love.
i hope you figure everything out soon. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 11th, 2011 at 12:44am Nathan,
I should hate you. I should wanna break you down just like you've broken me down all these years. But I honestly love you too much to even think of hurting you. But at the same time, I feel so much anger towards you. I almost resent you for telling me what you did...I just have so much I wanna say to you. My mind is jumbled. You tell me that Id have to change how I am in order for us to ever be together again, well sorry honey but I dont ever wanna change for anyone. But yet, I feel so bad because I know how amazing you truly are and I feel like im missing out on the best thing ever: being with you again.
God-damnit, I worshipped the ground you walk on, and you couldnt care less. But I cant really expect much more from you. Or anyone out there like you. You expect things will work the way you want just because you pray for it. Well, youre in for a rude awakening, and if youd just shut up and listen to me, you could avoid it
*sigh* I just wish youd meant it all those times you told me you loved me, cause I meant it. I still mean it. I love you. I always have and always will. I just wish you loved me too. I cant, and wont, get over it.
But as long as youre happy, ill manage
I just hope you know im always here for you
Vanessa |
Kick Start My Heart
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 559 | September 11th, 2011 at 11:04pm Dear self,
First of all go to bed, its 4 fucking am.
If your ex is in your dreams again tonight,
Deck him in the jaw or balls.
~Brain. |
look alive sunshine.
Shotgun Sinner
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 8012 | September 12th, 2011 at 10:39am HEY YOU,
stop worrying and get some sleep, you're turning into an insomniac.
everything is going to be okay. trust your gut and try your best. what matters most will always be there in the morning.
i wish i could help. i love you.
julie |
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778 | September 13th, 2011 at 02:50pm Hey there,
Come on let's go crazy we've got better things to do.
See ya next month 
Ikey M. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 13th, 2011 at 08:05pm Dalton,
it better not be true
if it is, may God help your soul
cause ill kill you
Vanessa |
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778 | September 14th, 2011 at 12:01pm J,
So it's a month today since we last saw each other pretty much.We'd been looking forward to that so long and then it got fucked up. I don't want to think about this...
I'm not sure whether I should laugh or cry right now so I won't do either. I'd kinda like to know how you feel,because there's times where I thought that I did. And I'm not "someone else." You know that. So yeah. You know,I'm pretty sure you feel the same. I'm not gonna do anything really, I'm sure we'll both be fine on our own. And I owe you this; "I hope your life works out fine without me."
Everything's so blurry...
But yeah. I'll cope. And let's see if you do. I'd like to talk to you again someday if ya like, cause it's a shame it ended how it did,but yeah. Have a nice life without me.xD.
Ikey.
Oh by the way.Read my signature.And look out for me. |
Fatatio
Bulletproof Heart
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 26349 | September 14th, 2011 at 12:25pm
-
i don't know how we ended this way.
anna
|
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778 | September 14th, 2011 at 12:31pm I,
It's funny how no-one else gets over stuff and we do. Ha fucking ha xD.
I. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 14th, 2011 at 01:48pm Ginules,
please dont go
Vanessa |
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778 | September 14th, 2011 at 01:57pm R,
Don't do it.But if you won't listen to me,which seems likely,fine,go fail at life.One of these days you'll stop laughing.
I. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 14th, 2011 at 08:30pm Ginules,
it sucks, it really sucks
youre leaving so soon
i know ill learn to manage
its just hard
Vanessa |
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778 | September 15th, 2011 at 12:46pm Tim Armstrong+ Lars Fredrikssen,
Thanks for showing me how I could play music,even though I don't know you guys.'Cause without Rancid I would hate music,and that would suck .So yeah.You guys rock xD.
This is a pretty dumb message  : but it's true so I thought I'd write it.And hopefully it's less depressing to read than most of the other posts here
 xD.
Ikey. |
Richey Edwards.
Demolition Lover
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 16507 | September 15th, 2011 at 02:02pm Corey,
come home soon, i miss you
Vanessa |
yeah
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 434 | September 16th, 2011 at 07:27pm H
Don't forget that you are the light of my life. I never ever want to leave you, no matter what. This might not work right now, but I still love you.
S
E
I'm not sure if you just wanna sleep with me or if you want something more.
You're a really nice guy and I've always thought so even though you were kinda fucked up for a little while.
I just really don't know how to ask a question like this...
S |
