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The Confessions Thread

AuthorMessage
mandylorian
In the Cannibal Glow
mandylorian
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53011
March 19th, 2016 at 10:53am
this is it. i hope this is it.
i've liked this person since 2008.
and now that person has stepped back into my life.
mandylorian
In the Cannibal Glow
mandylorian
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53011
March 30th, 2016 at 09:59am
i hate feeling like such an inadequate person. but there's one particular guy at work this year that makes me feel like i'm worthless at my job. and normally i wouldn't let it get to me. but seeing as how i'm still battling depression and anxiety, one simple comment from him ruins my entire day. then i feel inadequate outside of work, too. i try to hang out with people, but they usually just ignore my texts and don't respond. i try so hard, and all i seem to do is fail. it's disheartening.
Old Gregg.
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Old Gregg.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 561
March 30th, 2016 at 07:15pm
I just spent about an hour trying to work out my login details to get back on here after a few years of not being active...
Chris Tian
Salute You in Your Grave
Chris Tian
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 3320
April 1st, 2016 at 07:07pm
I just spent about an hour trying to work out my login details, just like Old Gregg.
andromeda;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
andromeda;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 69244
April 4th, 2016 at 05:46pm

I'm v low key suicidal all the time.
before anyone freaks out on me, no I'm not planning anything right now and there's no cause to be alarmed. at this point I wouldn't lay on the train tracks, but I wouldn't have the will to move out of the way if the train happened to be coming towards me.

and it sucks because for a while I was doing so well on my medication and now it's just....... everything is falling apart. my mental and physical health suck, I can't hold down a relationship or stick to my diet anymore, and I've found myself crying for absolutely no reason. I just feel like a walking turd and idk what to do about it.
mandylorian
In the Cannibal Glow
mandylorian
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53011
April 8th, 2016 at 05:20pm
i want to cry so much, but i know it won't solve anything. plus, my medication seems to make it hard for me to cry lately. so now i just have all of this built up emotion, being pushed down by medication. i'm trying so hard to move past things and focus on a future, but it's hard when i just don't see a future for myself.
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
brother nero;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778
April 22nd, 2016 at 09:18am
I might take that back. In a good way.i don't realistically think we're gonna get together, but it's so much easier just to say i love you too rather than ask what you actually mean by that.

mandylorian
In the Cannibal Glow
mandylorian
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53011
April 23rd, 2016 at 10:41am
i want him, and only him.
i just wish he wanted me in return.
amo.
Damned After All
amo.
Age: 32
Gender: -
Posts: 105480
April 25th, 2016 at 12:13am
I really wish I was doing something with my life.
Instead, I'm here, in my hometown, working a job I can barely tolerate.
I wish I was exploring the world, making a difference.
But I'm not sure what that difference is just yet.
Thnks fr th vnm
Demolition Lover
Thnks fr th vnm
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 15766
April 26th, 2016 at 12:23am
I do well while in hospital but once I'm discharged it's always another shitty chapter. Since my release I've been either drunk or up all night talking to the voices in my head.

I left my boyfriend, job, and school to come to another province because every thing and every one around me was subliminally telling me to "fuck off". Then a YouTube video told me to die and I tried. I was sober and on my medication, why does this shit seem to follow me regardless of what I do to leave it behind?
Young London.
Awake and Unafraid
Young London.
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 10039
April 29th, 2016 at 09:40am
I finally feel and think that I am mature enough to handle all the obstacles/opportunities in life. I know life isn't a fairy tale but it is not necessarily bad either. I'll do my best, then live and let live.
mandylorian
In the Cannibal Glow
mandylorian
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53011
May 5th, 2016 at 09:29pm
i'm so fucking done, with all of it
nothing matters anymore
i am just a waste of space
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
brother nero;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778
June 7th, 2016 at 10:44am
you deserve someone to take it all out on. if that's me then fine. i only ever wanted to help, i'm sorry that i made things worse, but i can't really be sorry for what i did, that was me trying. but after every fucking person who treated you like shit and then just moved on with their lives you're owed an apology, and you need to know it was never your fault. so if blaming everything on me can make you cope slightly better, then do. i'll accept it. that's all. loads of stuff was completely my fault. just not absolutely everything.
although in the very remote chance you ever see this, and as my last remarks on the whole situation, when we were friends you helped me out so much. you were there for me 24/7, you made life a lot better, and I meant every good thing I ever said to you. and the fact that I could make things okay for you for a bit is basically my greatest achievement to date.
c'est la vie, j'imagine.

mandylorian
In the Cannibal Glow
mandylorian
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53011
June 18th, 2016 at 05:04pm
this guy i know through work has now lost two sons. the first one died a few years ago, and the second one died today. my heart is absolutely broken for this man. it's moments like these where you look at your life and you have to do some re-evaluating. the kid had just posted a video a few months ago, talking about how he was only 22 and still had his whole life ahead of him. and now he's dead because of a freak accident. and then i look back on last year, when i wanted so badly to be dead. and i almost feel ashamed in a way that i even wanted that. i can't believe how selfish i was last year. and i just want to thank god each and every single day for guiding me back into the right direction. he removed toxic people from my life, gave me new friends, gave me a new job, etc. i know that i've still got a long way to go, but i just need to start trusting that i will continue to get better and to fight. i need to stop taking life for granted.
brother nero;
Always Born a Crime
brother nero;
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 6778
June 21st, 2016 at 02:42pm
I don't understand this. It fucking feels like my mind's shutting down on me. I don't know what the fuck's going on, it feels like I'm half asleep all the time. And my self harm and wierd eating habits are going through the roof, it's just as a way to cope, I don't know what else I can do. I'm so fucking scared of being on my own, and I feel like I'm gonna be on my own for ages now. I don't know what to do.

beaker;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
beaker;
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 69180
June 25th, 2016 at 12:58am
I am so sick of my father calling me a millenial
it feels like he's only doing it to insult me. Idk if he's trying to use it as a way to push me, but he should know by now it's only chipping away at what's left.
I hate it. I hate that he's comparing me to the lazy and entitled when he knows damn well I've worked hard for what I have.

and then, he had to go and make me feel bad about my wavering faith, and my fears, and my knack for crying too often when I'm scared or frustrated. "You'll grow out of it, you're like I was."
That doesn't mean I am like you though. I'm just so fed up, and scared, and miserable, and the one person I just want a little support from tends to make me feel like I'm doing everything wrong
mandylorian
In the Cannibal Glow
mandylorian
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 53011
June 29th, 2016 at 11:24am
yesterday marked the 3 year anniversary of her death
i didn't realize it until sometime last night, which i guess was a good thing
because then i was an emotional wreck the rest of the night
perfectly flawed.
In The Murder Scene
perfectly flawed.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 23828
July 10th, 2016 at 12:37am
Wow. I just signed into my account for the first time in 6 years.
It makes me happy to see people still posting here.
It's weird to see everyone's age now. Everyone is in their 20s.
I remember when every post said "14".
I hope everyone is doing well. I was having a moment of nostalgia.
I was a lonely teenager and even though I have friends now,
and a boyfriend I still feel the same loneliness and uncertainty.
I'm going into nursing and I don't know if it's the right thing to do.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to when I was 14,
seemed to be a simpler time.
Anyways it was nice to be able to post in here.
I hope this website never goes away.
beaker;
Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights
beaker;
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 69180
July 14th, 2016 at 10:11pm
I want a ton of tattoos that mean something to me, but nothing means anything to me.
I laugh at jokes, and conversations, and generally humorous things, but then the happiness quickly fades away.
I don't have drive to do much of anything anymore, and mostly all of what I do is just going through the motions. Habits. Some days I don't know if I actually like jiu jitsu or writing or music anymore, or if it's just habit
all of this is just habit. and worse, I'm not good at it anymore.
I mess up things that should be easy
exterminate.
Shotgun Sinner
exterminate.
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 9830
July 20th, 2016 at 05:07pm
i've sat refreshing INO for the last few hours wondering if anyone will post anything or whether the forum will come to life again. miss talking to people on here, even if it has been like six years. it sucks seeing like no one ever online.