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US (kansas) blah....

Member since November 17th, 2006


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So alot has changed since I've been on here. Crazy stuff. Well I'm not the emo kid I once was. Quit that big time. Alot of me has changed. To much to write infact. But here's a little update on my life today......

So I'm a big time skater now. Crazy I know. I have way more friends than ever. Music is still my life. I've had my heart broken and I've broken others too. I've learned a little more about relationships, people, friends, and life in general. There's not much to say except I'm open to anyone. Love to meet new ppl. And just have as much crazy fun as I can.

I skate
I play pool
I dig music all the way
Love boys too much
I love neon colors and Volcom
And having fun anywhere and anytime of day

Music Is My Life...can u tell
Groups I Listen To:
All Time Low
All American Rejects
Apoptygma Bezerk
Angels And Airwaves
Band Of Horses
Bowling For Soup
Boys Like Girls
Bright Eyes
Bullet For My Valentine
Cute Is What We Aim For
Death Cab For Cutie
Fall Out Boy
Forever the Sickest Kids
Green Day
Metro Station
Mayday Parade
Mindless Self Indulgence
Modest Mouse
Moldy Peaches
Motion City Soundtrack
My Epiphany
My Chemical Romance
Panic! At The Disco
Peter, Bjorn, And John
Plain White T's
Rise Against
Say Anything
Secondhand Serenade
Sick Puppies
Shiny Toy Guns
Silversun Pickups
Simple Plan
Something Corporate
Story Of The Year
Sum 41
The Academy Is...
The Almost
The Cure
The New London Fire
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
The Starting Line
The Used
We The Kings
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
DJ Toxic... pretty much rules Trance

By the way those of u who read my lame-o poetry..sorry I have to update its like 2 yr old crap.

...|.._________________ _______,
.../ --_________---_____-______]
..), ---.(_(_)/
.../(.) ), --"

Here are a few of my poems:


Walk before the angel so keen
Shackled to the walls this is the scene
Of a beauty so divine left here to die
You stand before her and wonder why?

Flawless beauty bruised and slit
Chained and shackled at her wrists
Her elegant dress torn and ripped
The life and soul completly striped

Her gossamer wings of silver white
Drowned in her blood black as the night
Alluring all towards her eerie sight
Of her lifeless corpse hung in the light

Awaiting her love to set her free
Though he left her there with apathy
The angel died with one last wish
Hoping she could have one last kiss

So now forever more her body remains
A display to others to show her pain
Yet the gentle expression that she keeps
Makes you want to look at her and weep

Weep for every life you have near
That you can hold so close even through fear
Weep for the time you have to live
That you're able to love and forever give

Weep for the moments you can share
Weep for the times you were in despair
Weep for life and that you live
And be grateful for everything that you get

For this pretty angel left for the dead
Will continue to teach many ahead
That life is not always so fair
But the hope will always be there

And now she's in a place far beyond the sky
A place of out there, a paradise
So perhaps it really was her time to die
So she could spread her wings and fly


Its the way you say you care
And knowing you really don't
It's how you make me feel
But I know it's not real
And when you take me in your arms
I feel like you might love
Until she comes along
Then it's her you'll hang on to
I can't stand how you think
That you know everything
When all you want is to know is anything
I hate when you want me when no one's around
But don't need me when they come around
The only way to please you is on your command
And when your done with me theres nowhere left to stand
You use me all up
Then throw me away
I don't want to be your toy but it ends up this way
It seems the only way you'll see me
Is if I do what you want
'Cause to you, your right and I'm always wrong

The Apparatus of Life

Snow upon the desert sky
Flame within the ice
Life becomes the labyrinth, completly undefined

Hell in the eyes of a follower
Leading demons to paradise
Lacerating all who come within the eyes of hope

Spellbound in the seas of night
The apathy is left behind
Of stories left back in time

The fourth wall seal broken now
The apparation appears
Beyond the line of life is death
Welcoming all who come near

Syncronized Lives

a poet
a writer
he was one to inspire

left behind
though she tried
he'd never see her cry

can it be destiny?
though so different yet the same
theres more to her he'll never know
theres more to him than she can say

a secret he has kept of misery and pain
the scars on her body that drove her insane
two secrets, so different yet completly the same
she held it all in
he did exactly the same

everyday she says hello
everyday he smiles back
she loves him, but she can't say
he doesn't know, but wants her to stay

so close yet so far
and they go their separate ways
will fate draw them back?
or will they fade away?

whats been said has been done
now she's picking up the phone

she calls to say she loves him
he answers to say he loves her
she hangs up its to hard
he's not sure he can go this far

these two so different, yet exactly the same
have left this all forgotten
their lives never the same


She's the epitome of death
Though she emulates life
Her diamond black eyes reflecting suicide

Prosthetic synthesis with butterflies
Sealed with her innocense so divine
The eerie light exposing the scars of beauty from a different time

Her gossamer wings of silver white
She's the apparation of light
The life she leads of dark so bright
The obscenity is finally shown tonight

The adolesense she embodies now
Are lies exposing lies
She mystifies all so near
Though she's always left behind

She's the insecurities forgotten through time

Will you..??

There she stands
Before the eyes of death
There he lies watching her die
"Do you love him?" they say
"Would you die for him today?"
"Yes," she say as the tears fall down
"Do you love her?" they say
"Will you die for her today?"
Silence over comes the question
He struggles to look her in the eyes
"I'm sorry I can't go this far..."
And in shame he looks away
The blade taken in their hands
They walk closer just to say
"Someone has to die today..."
She smiles at him with one thing left to say
"I hope you know I love you anyways..."
He looks up, to meet her eyes
Then a strike to the heart
Her body falls down
Lifeless and limp, her beauty now drowns
His face and his hands, and his tears fall down
He grabs the blade to take his pain
Ready to strike his heart away
But the other now say, "You can't die today..."
"You must live for the death that you help take away"
His screams lash out in a fury of pain
As they take his love and the blade away
The man that she died for... must now live in shame
Knowing he killed his love that day

Life Undefined

This world we live in genocide
Defines the life we lead tomorrow
Death after death synchronize
Souls are left undefined
Yet within the inescapable lives we lead
The sorrow, the pain, the misery
There's more to hold on to then we can see
The existence of hope that will always be

But there's more to life than meets the eye
Though we take it all for granted
There's more to time then we'll ever find
But we only see tomorrow

The lives we hold have no indemnity
We never know whats coming
Yet it's the simplicity of not knowing
That makes like so surreal, so undeniably indescribable in anyway we choose

This Is What I Do

It was all to easy
The razor blade against my wrists
The excruciating pain
The blood running down

Because I couldn't tell you what was wrong
This is what I've done

Now I've decided.... this just isn't enough....
The lighter in my hand
The flame coming out
Scorching the skin I've cut

I swear I had no choice......
I just couldn't tell
Instead of letting the screams out
I let the blood rush down

Now I go to bed
There's nothing left in my head
I wake at night to feel the tears rush down
And cry my self to sleep
I wake in the morning
And start it all again

The razor blade at my wrists
The excruciating pain
The blood running down
It's just all so easy

Together Someday

If I could see you, but one last night
And hold you close, it feels so right
For death will soon do us part
Leaving you here with only my heart
To be left in a world with sorrow and pain
To wake and never see your face again
With only your love to hold on to eachday
Lets me know that someday it will be the same
With you by my side it will feel alright
I will live for your death so maybe I might
See your smile again at heavens gate
My life I know, will be worth the wait

What You've Done

It was you who caused my death
It was you who left me here to rot
The every scar I've made was because of you

There was nothing left to say
Nothing left to do, but to end this life of mine
It was more than a death wish........ it's a suicide

For all who've stabbed my back
And left me here to die
I promise you this hell awaits

I couldn't carry on
It was all to easy
A bullet in the chamber
A gun to my head
I pulled the trigger........
.......and the pain is gone.....

I know this was what you wanted
Are you pleased with what you've done?

Now I hope you choke on every word you spoke to me
When you said how much you cared
When you told me you loved me

So go to hell for all I care.......

My Last Kiss

The darkness is my only refuge through it all
Even when I began to fall
It regains my strength

You tried to help
But I pushed you away
You left me here
Knowing my greatest fear was to be alone

This lie I've lived for so long
And all this pain I've overcome
Hs caused everything I've ever done
For this is what I've truly become

Addiction to pain becomes my bliss
All these blades and bleeding wrists
Whats left of me you'll never miss
It's my choice to live like this

So take whats left of this empty heart
Because I'm completly falling apart
And before I die I leave you this
My one and only last kiss

Oh I need to update big time...this shit get pathetic. Sorry guys.


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