MANDY MANDY MANDY, MANDY MANDY MANDY, MANDY MANDY MANDY MANNNNNNNN (DY). I have no idea why, but I was typing that to the tune of 'If You Want my Body'. It seemed like the right thing to do in this instance. BUT I AM NOT HERE TO SERENADE YOU WITH ANCIENT SONGS. I am here because it is your day of birth, and I promised you a really epic post that will be so monumental and stunning it will either make me your hero or make you regret our friendship. I think I have already achieved the latter.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. YOU ARE NOT OLD. AND EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE (WHICH YOU AREN'T) AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT TRON GUY. BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT, THERE'S NOT MUCH ELSE WORSE THAN HIM. UNLESS IT'S JUSTIN BIEBER. OR PEOPLE WHO READ 50 SHADES OF GREY. TBH THE TITLE SOUNDS LIKE AN OLD MAN'S HAIR. WHY WOULD ANYONE FIND THAT SEXY? TO DEMONSTRATE, I WILL NOW COMPOSE A SHORT SNIPPET OF WHAT THE NOVEL WOULD BE LIKE IF IT WAS ABOUT OLD MEN'S HAIR.
"I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was the sexiest, oldest golf player I had ever seen. I longed to gaze into his eyes, but he was too hunched over and crippled for me to see them. Instead I watched his thinning hair longingly, admiring the way the sun burnt his bald patch and captured the many shades of greying hair in its light. There must have been at least 50 of them--from almost black to dark grey then near white. I was so turned on. I jizzed in my pants almost immediately."
YOU SEE? THAT IS NOT SEXY. UNLESS YOU THOUGHT IT WAS. LIKE I'M SORRY IF THAT WAS YOUR THING AND I TOTALLY JUST SHAT ALL OVER YOUR FANTASIES, BUT Y'KNOW... I DON'T MIND TELLING GARRETT HEDLUND THAT YOU'D RATHER PLAY GOLF WITH AN OLD MAN INSTEAD OF THROW TRIDENTS WITH HIM ON THE BEACH~ I'M SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.
YOU ARE ALSO A GOOD FRIEND. I AM VERY GLAD THAT I KNOW YOU, EVEN IF YOU DO LIVE IN THE NARNIA TO MY AZKABAN OR WHATEVER. THAT ANALOGY MAKES SENSE SOMEWHERE. I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAD TO TYPE ANAL FOR THAT WORD. THIS IS PROBABLY WHY I'M IN AZKABAN. ANYWAYS. I WAS BEING NICE. I THINK YOU ARE GREAT. AND YOU MAKE ME LAUGH. AND I WILL NEVER TAKE YOUR ASS FOR GRANTED BECAUSE FRIENDS LIKE YOU ARE SO RARE. I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD BIRTHDAY AND YOU HAVEN'T TURNED YOUR COMPUTER OFF ALREADY BECAUSE THIS MESSAGE MAKES NO SENSE. IF YOU ARE STILL READING UP TO THIS POINT THEN WELL DONE. IF NOT, THEN MANDY IS A HUGE SLUT AND SHE'LL NEVER SEE THIS BECAUSE SHE GAVE UP READING ABOUT 5 HOURS AGO.
I AM REALLY EXCITED TO GO TO HP WORLD WITH YOU AND JUST HANG OUT. I AM ALSO EXCITED FOR THIS APPARENTLY ENDLESS DVD NIGHT WE HAVE PLANNED, BUT BE WARNED THAT I WILL PROBABLY PAUSE IT ON SENECA'S FACE WHEN WE WATCH THE HUNGER GAMES WITH EVERY SCENE HE IS IN. I NEED THIS TO KEEP ME CALM, YOU SEE. I WISH I COULD GROW A BEARD. OKAY MAYBE I DON'T.
I'M SORRY THAT THIS HAS VERY LITTLE TO DO WITH YOUR BIRTHDAY. I SUPPOSE THE RIGHT THING TO DO WOULD BE TO MOVE ON TO BARBIE ALLIGATORS AND GYPSY LUBE AND ALL THE OTHER IMMATURE THINGS WE LAUGH AT, BUT ALL I CAN THINK OF RIGHT NOW IS YOU DRAWING THAT PICTURE OF HAYMITCH KISSING EFFIE'S BACK FOR THAT WEIRDO ON TUMBLR, ONLY YOU COMPLETELY c*ckBLOCKED IT AND DREW SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I BELIEVE THIS MOMENT DESCRIBES YOU PERFECTLY AS A PERSON. EFFIE WOULD BE PROUD.
BA BA BUM BUM BUM GYPSY LUBEEEEEE. THAT WAS VOLDEMORT, NOT ME.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU WHORE <3333333333333333333333333333333
WELL IT LOOKS LIKE A KIND OF DUSKY PURPLE TO ME, SO YOU'RE NOT TOO CRAZY. UNLESS YOU FIXED IT AND WAS LIKE ORANGE BEFORE OR SOME sh*t, THEN YOU HAVE PROBLEMS. I'M GLAD YOU INCLUDED THE WORD ASS IN THERE. IT PLEASED ME TO NO END.
I WAS GOING TO WRITE SOMETHING WONDERFULLY INSULTING ON HERE BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SPAMMED YOUR INO ASS IN FOREVER, BUT THEN YOUR NEW PROFILE INFO WAS SO PRETTY THAT I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART.
THIS IS WHAT I'D PUT ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU'D HAVE LET ME ~DECORATE IT LOL:
MY NAME IS MANDY. BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE CONFUSE ME FOR A MANTORIS. I BELIEVE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY SKANKISH NATURE, WHICH IS VERY NOTICEABLE. I LIKE TO PRETEND I LIVE IN SOME FANCY ASS HOUSE IN GEORGIA, BUT REALLY I LIVE WITH MY ALLIGATOR BRETHREN IN SWAMPVILLE, ALLABAMMER. MY INTERESTS INCLUDE HELENA BURTON TRINKET, YE OLDE BRITANNIA, AND MAKING UP DIFFERENT VARIETIES OF TAMPONS WHICH I COLLECT FROM MY TREEPON GARDEN. THESE THINGS ARE ONLY SHADOWED BY MY UNHEALTHY LOVE OF ASSES, WHICH HAS GOTTEN ME ARRESTED MORE TIMES THAN I CARE TO ADMIT. I ALSO WATCH MOVIES ALL DAY ON MY WHITE TRASH TV SET AND PRETEND TO GO TO WORK. I WISH IT WAS MADE OF MAHOGANY.
Thank you! Merry late Xmas to you too! It was lovely thanks! I got clothes and stuff, but my boyfriend got me the first MCR album on Vinyl…he's an angel! How was your Xmas? What did you get? I went to a house party with my boyfriend, that was pretty fun :D What did you do? I know, feels crazy! That year went by really fast..!!
Haha it's alright, I do the same! I always check my profile for messages and think 'I'll message them back in a bit' and then forget! Haha awwh I love talking to you too! :)
Awwh that's really cute! I love some of the pictures on your Facebook (I'm aware that sounds kinda stalkerish haha) but she's so cute! Ohh I see haha, I've never heard of Grandmas being called Mimi before! Hehe :)
That sounds cool :) how was Las Vegas? I think you'd like London, it's really fun! :D I travel a bit, I'd love to travel more but everything is so expensive :( I've mostly travelled to places because of family holidays. I've been to Sri Lanka and Morocco, but I love going to Newquay and Cornwall in England, so lovely in the summer! I went there for a few days after Xmas…it was bloody freezing!
Awh yay! I'm really glad you found one, I'm so happy for you! :) I guess most jobs are quite stressful, but that's just life, which sucks haha. Yeah, staying at home would drive me a little insane. It's bad enough when I'm off from uni for a week -_- haha! Oh wow, that sounds so cool! I've always wanted a job where you can travel a bit! Chicago sounds like fun! It will be awesome :) Oh really? How long is the flight there form where you are?
It's going really well thanks! I did my assessments and my results were really high, so I'm pretty happy about that :) We also get to work a festival at the beginning of Feb, which is going to be awesome! I can't wait, I have to travel to London each day which is going to cost so much >.< but it still sounds like fun! I've just been busy with uni and hanging with my friends. I've made some lovely friends at my uni and we go to gigs and stuff together now so it's awesome :D how have you been? What have you been up to?
NO UZ A HO, HOFACE. IDC IF YOU TAKE SLEEPY MEDS, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR DEGRADING ME SO.
Finnick Odair, December 18th, 2012 at 05:33:19am
I FORGOT I EVEN WROTE THAT. WHAT A PEASANT I AM.
MWHAHA. MWHAHAHAHA.
/i am so tired omg
Finnick Odair, December 16th, 2012 at 05:19:52pm
HARK, THOU ART A TROLLOP!
Finnick Odair, November 29th, 2012 at 06:27:22pm
d*ckWEED.
Finnick Odair, September 10th, 2012 at 04:20:21pm
ASSf*ck
Finnick Odair, September 8th, 2012 at 03:48:19pm
SLAGWHORE.
Finnick Odair, September 8th, 2012 at 10:37:44am
MANDY MANDY MANDY, MANDY MANDY MANDY, MANDY MANDY MANDY MANNNNNNNN (DY). I have no idea why, but I was typing that to the tune of 'If You Want my Body'. It seemed like the right thing to do in this instance. BUT I AM NOT HERE TO SERENADE YOU WITH ANCIENT SONGS. I am here because it is your day of birth, and I promised you a really epic post that will be so monumental and stunning it will either make me your hero or make you regret our friendship. I think I have already achieved the latter.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. YOU ARE NOT OLD. AND EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE (WHICH YOU AREN'T) AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT TRON GUY. BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT, THERE'S NOT MUCH ELSE WORSE THAN HIM. UNLESS IT'S JUSTIN BIEBER. OR PEOPLE WHO READ 50 SHADES OF GREY. TBH THE TITLE SOUNDS LIKE AN OLD MAN'S HAIR. WHY WOULD ANYONE FIND THAT SEXY? TO DEMONSTRATE, I WILL NOW COMPOSE A SHORT SNIPPET OF WHAT THE NOVEL WOULD BE LIKE IF IT WAS ABOUT OLD MEN'S HAIR.
"I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was the sexiest, oldest golf player I had ever seen. I longed to gaze into his eyes, but he was too hunched over and crippled for me to see them. Instead I watched his thinning hair longingly, admiring the way the sun burnt his bald patch and captured the many shades of greying hair in its light. There must have been at least 50 of them--from almost black to dark grey then near white. I was so turned on. I jizzed in my pants almost immediately."
YOU SEE? THAT IS NOT SEXY. UNLESS YOU THOUGHT IT WAS. LIKE I'M SORRY IF THAT WAS YOUR THING AND I TOTALLY JUST SHAT ALL OVER YOUR FANTASIES, BUT Y'KNOW... I DON'T MIND TELLING GARRETT HEDLUND THAT YOU'D RATHER PLAY GOLF WITH AN OLD MAN INSTEAD OF THROW TRIDENTS WITH HIM ON THE BEACH~ I'M SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.
YOU ARE ALSO A GOOD FRIEND. I AM VERY GLAD THAT I KNOW YOU, EVEN IF YOU DO LIVE IN THE NARNIA TO MY AZKABAN OR WHATEVER. THAT ANALOGY MAKES SENSE SOMEWHERE. I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAD TO TYPE ANAL FOR THAT WORD. THIS IS PROBABLY WHY I'M IN AZKABAN. ANYWAYS. I WAS BEING NICE. I THINK YOU ARE GREAT. AND YOU MAKE ME LAUGH. AND I WILL NEVER TAKE YOUR ASS FOR GRANTED BECAUSE FRIENDS LIKE YOU ARE SO RARE. I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD BIRTHDAY AND YOU HAVEN'T TURNED YOUR COMPUTER OFF ALREADY BECAUSE THIS MESSAGE MAKES NO SENSE. IF YOU ARE STILL READING UP TO THIS POINT THEN WELL DONE. IF NOT, THEN MANDY IS A HUGE SLUT AND SHE'LL NEVER SEE THIS BECAUSE SHE GAVE UP READING ABOUT 5 HOURS AGO.
I AM REALLY EXCITED TO GO TO HP WORLD WITH YOU AND JUST HANG OUT. I AM ALSO EXCITED FOR THIS APPARENTLY ENDLESS DVD NIGHT WE HAVE PLANNED, BUT BE WARNED THAT I WILL PROBABLY PAUSE IT ON SENECA'S FACE WHEN WE WATCH THE HUNGER GAMES WITH EVERY SCENE HE IS IN. I NEED THIS TO KEEP ME CALM, YOU SEE. I WISH I COULD GROW A BEARD. OKAY MAYBE I DON'T.
I'M SORRY THAT THIS HAS VERY LITTLE TO DO WITH YOUR BIRTHDAY. I SUPPOSE THE RIGHT THING TO DO WOULD BE TO MOVE ON TO BARBIE ALLIGATORS AND GYPSY LUBE AND ALL THE OTHER IMMATURE THINGS WE LAUGH AT, BUT ALL I CAN THINK OF RIGHT NOW IS YOU DRAWING THAT PICTURE OF HAYMITCH KISSING EFFIE'S BACK FOR THAT WEIRDO ON TUMBLR, ONLY YOU COMPLETELY c*ckBLOCKED IT AND DREW SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I BELIEVE THIS MOMENT DESCRIBES YOU PERFECTLY AS A PERSON. EFFIE WOULD BE PROUD.
BA BA BUM BUM BUM GYPSY LUBEEEEEE. THAT WAS VOLDEMORT, NOT ME.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU WHORE <3333333333333333333333333333333
Finnick Odair, July 11th, 2012 at 09:50:24am
UH HUH. YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT, MANDY.
BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE WHAT'S INSIDE. YOUR LOVE OF ASSES. AND MISSPELLING WORDS.
Finnick Odair, June 21st, 2012 at 02:32:04am
WELL IT LOOKS LIKE A KIND OF DUSKY PURPLE TO ME, SO YOU'RE NOT TOO CRAZY. UNLESS YOU FIXED IT AND WAS LIKE ORANGE BEFORE OR SOME sh*t, THEN YOU HAVE PROBLEMS. I'M GLAD YOU INCLUDED THE WORD ASS IN THERE. IT PLEASED ME TO NO END.
Finnick Odair, May 27th, 2012 at 03:07:33am
I WAS GOING TO WRITE SOMETHING WONDERFULLY INSULTING ON HERE BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SPAMMED YOUR INO ASS IN FOREVER, BUT THEN YOUR NEW PROFILE INFO WAS SO PRETTY THAT I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART.
BUT YOU ARE A SLUT.
Finnick Odair, May 18th, 2012 at 05:24:31am
YOU'RE THE BEST TYPO I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
LOL I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA, I JUST COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY BACK.
Finnick Odair, April 17th, 2012 at 01:50:52pm
THIS IS WHAT I'D PUT ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU'D HAVE LET ME ~DECORATE IT LOL:
MY NAME IS MANDY. BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE CONFUSE ME FOR A MANTORIS. I BELIEVE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY SKANKISH NATURE, WHICH IS VERY NOTICEABLE. I LIKE TO PRETEND I LIVE IN SOME FANCY ASS HOUSE IN GEORGIA, BUT REALLY I LIVE WITH MY ALLIGATOR BRETHREN IN SWAMPVILLE, ALLABAMMER. MY INTERESTS INCLUDE HELENA BURTON TRINKET, YE OLDE BRITANNIA, AND MAKING UP DIFFERENT VARIETIES OF TAMPONS WHICH I COLLECT FROM MY TREEPON GARDEN. THESE THINGS ARE ONLY SHADOWED BY MY UNHEALTHY LOVE OF ASSES, WHICH HAS GOTTEN ME ARRESTED MORE TIMES THAN I CARE TO ADMIT. I ALSO WATCH MOVIES ALL DAY ON MY WHITE TRASH TV SET AND PRETEND TO GO TO WORK. I WISH IT WAS MADE OF MAHOGANY.
Finnick Odair, April 2nd, 2012 at 04:22:18am
I KNOW RIGHT? I THINK THE PERSON'S NAME WAS MINDY. OR WAS IT MICKEY? SOMETHING LIKE THAT. SOME WHOREBAG, ANYWAYS.
Finnick Odair, March 29th, 2012 at 04:00:15am
HOLY sh*t I NEARLY LOST MY DIGNITY AT YOUR NEW PROFILE. GIRL IT IS FABULOUS TO EFFIE STANDARD. I CAN'T STOP STARING AT IT.
BUT I BOW TO YOU RESPECTFULLY FOR RESIGNING, AND HOPE TO FURTHER WITTILY BATTLE WITH YOU ANOTHER DAY. MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOUR.
Finnick Odair, March 27th, 2012 at 03:40:00am
Thank you! Merry late Xmas to you too! It was lovely thanks! I got clothes and stuff, but my boyfriend got me the first MCR album on Vinyl…he's an angel! How was your Xmas? What did you get? I went to a house party with my boyfriend, that was pretty fun :D What did you do? I know, feels crazy! That year went by really fast..!!
Haha it's alright, I do the same! I always check my profile for messages and think 'I'll message them back in a bit' and then forget! Haha awwh I love talking to you too! :)
Awwh that's really cute! I love some of the pictures on your Facebook (I'm aware that sounds kinda stalkerish haha) but she's so cute! Ohh I see haha, I've never heard of Grandmas being called Mimi before! Hehe :)
That sounds cool :) how was Las Vegas? I think you'd like London, it's really fun! :D I travel a bit, I'd love to travel more but everything is so expensive :( I've mostly travelled to places because of family holidays. I've been to Sri Lanka and Morocco, but I love going to Newquay and Cornwall in England, so lovely in the summer! I went there for a few days after Xmas…it was bloody freezing!
Awh yay! I'm really glad you found one, I'm so happy for you! :) I guess most jobs are quite stressful, but that's just life, which sucks haha. Yeah, staying at home would drive me a little insane. It's bad enough when I'm off from uni for a week -_- haha! Oh wow, that sounds so cool! I've always wanted a job where you can travel a bit! Chicago sounds like fun! It will be awesome :) Oh really? How long is the flight there form where you are?
It's going really well thanks! I did my assessments and my results were really high, so I'm pretty happy about that :) We also get to work a festival at the beginning of Feb, which is going to be awesome! I can't wait, I have to travel to London each day which is going to cost so much >.< but it still sounds like fun! I've just been busy with uni and hanging with my friends. I've made some lovely friends at my uni and we go to gigs and stuff together now so it's awesome :D how have you been? What have you been up to?
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x <3
Day Of The Dead, January 18th, 2012 at 11:11:10am