wildlark

im changin th about me part. pretty much b/c i havent been here in awhile...sorry...anyways. my personality type is INFP, technically, but it's...im just kind of torn up INFP. i guess. i dunno....bad things happened to me. if you want th gory details, ask me yourself. as mentioned in that 'short info' thingy, i get along better with guys (my own reasons) and i eat paper. and, once again, i like newspaper th best, and printer paper th worst. i also think too much. like right now im thinking way too much...or is it that everyone else thinks way too little but b/c normal thinking is in th minority it's assumed to be too much? hmmm. see wot i mean? and i gotta live with me lol. i try to be happy but...sometimes are harder than others...ppl think bad of me and ive given up on best friends (every one i had threatened to kill me. no lie and no exaggeration). and sumtimes it seems like im everyone's bitch. maybe i am. who knows? but hell, at least my life is full of tragedies to brag about and my life is at least a LITTLE interesting. maybe im an optimist. sometimes i feel like i gotta be, just so i can see th opposite point of view and point it out...ive spent a lot of time tryin not to be everyone else...ive seen too much of everyone else to wanna be like that lol. so yeh, that's essentially me i guess
i got fixated on MCR by hearin 'the black parade' on th radio...it just kinda caught my ear. i think this is to my shame, but i thot th beginnin with th piano annie orphan kinda part and th chorus were 2 different songs...both of which i happened to stop and listen to. and eventually i discovered they were one in th same, which made my discoverey all th more sweet lol. then things got...weird i guess. i began wakin up in th o'dark thirty hours of th morning, and seconds after i did th song would play on th radio. yeh i keep my radio on thro th night. it...was bizaare, but not as much as when my heart would begin to race and id be sweating...i didnt even know who was playin/singin th song, wot band it was or wot they looked like ( b/c usually that's a major factor with chicks likin rock bands...they always seem to fall for th pretty boy front man...). one day i got sick...it was bad and i couldnt leave my bed (for long) for 6 days. in that duration i lived solely for that song. again, bizaare i know. but id just lie there for hours, waiting. just waiting and waiting for th song, for th racing heart for th cold sweats...it was th only thing that was helping. hell, my boyfriend didnt call for that whole time. who was there? weird stuff, i am well aware, but i swear it's th truth. itd b pathetic to lie bout sumthin like that. fast forward to sumtime in may or june, i bought their cd (i had figured out their name by then...) behind my rents backs. lol they still dunno bout it. i only listen to it when im hurt...by various things, not important for th time or typing. i call it my 'treatment' lol; i listen to th cd in it's entirety and completely alone (dont want ppl to watch me convulsing lol). again, i know, it is weird. but it helps. so, that is why im here.