Phases

I'm sure most of you will be able to relate to this, and if its a repeat of a thread just lock/delete it.

Anyway, I for one am sick of my parents and siblings telling me that wearing black is just a phase, and I will soon return to colours.
But thats the thing, if I start wearing colours, they won't call that a phase, they'll say its normal.
What if wearing all black was 'normal'? Would wearing colours be a phase?

Another 'phase': Vegetarianism.
I'm not too sure about anyone else, but when I became a vegetarian (About three years ago) my mother was sure it was a phase, but no, it wasn't.

What are all your opinions on phases?

Phases...
Hmm.
Well, sometimes people do have phases. I had a friend who went through this rap/gangsta phase (where he dressed like one and ACTED like one) when he started listening to rap music, and then he got over it (thank goodness lol).
I'm okay with phases I guess, because they all pass by pretty quickly (which is good for annoying phases). But I guess it's only really a phase if you later stop whatever it is that was called "a phase."
I don't think wearing black is a phase though...I mean...everyone wears black once in a while hehe.

Some things are phases and some things do last a long time. It's impossible to tell when you're in one and when you've really hit on something you'll love and want to do forever/a long time.

For example: I used to read Babysitter's Club books (I am shamed, but I was eight at the time, so perhaps I can be forgiven). At the time, I thought they were the best things in the world, and I would want to read them for a long time. Fortunately, I grew out of that. It was a phase.

Recently, I've been getting into a lot of '90s emo -- groups like Indian Summer, Boys Life and the rest. I really love this music now, but I have no way of knowing how long I'll like it, if it's something I'll like for a long time, or if, like my Babysitter's Club fixation, I'll grow out of it in a few years.

But really, when something is fresh and new to you, you really love it, and it's the thing you're the most interested in. It takes up a lot of space in your head and you enjoy thinking about it and learning more about it. However, later on, one of three things can happen: You can stay just as interested in it, in which case it's not a phase; you can become less interested in it, but still enjoy it, in which case it's an interest but not a major one; or you can lose all interest in it, and possibly even go so far as to disavow it entirely, in which case it was just a phase. There's no way to know which of these will happen, so you just have to roll with it.

However, I would like to add that some "phases" can be harmful both to you and to other people. For example, some kids claim to be "bi-curious" or "bisexual," when in actuality, it's just a phase or a trend. The meaningless relationships these kids forge during this phase teach them that human beings are disposable, like cheap fashionable clothes. In the meantime, other kids who actual are bi- or homosexual and have had relationships with people "just going through a phase" can be deeply hurt when the experimenter's attachment is not as deep as they might have believed it to be.

So I guess I just wanted to point out that, while music and clothing styles are one thing as phases, it's better to think long and hard about things like sexual orientation, and not allow passing fancies to dominate one's thought processes.

I'm sorry if that was just long and incoherent; it's 1:30am here and I should probably be getting to bed.

i have been in a phase before... so i understand all of the point of views.
lately i have been expirencing alot of different feeling towards my family friends boyfriends but im not sure how to deal. my mom says its just a phase but i dont know anymore. i wanna find who i am and wether it be punk emo goth prep what have you thats what im gonna be. i hate the fact that people label you just by the way you look or act. its not fair. i also think that being "bi" is not just a phase... yes many teens claim to be but you never know... i know some "bi" people and ion fact they are exactly the same as me with different looks on life. i dont think they should be sterotyped because of it. i think all gays and lesbians should be accepted into society just as everyone esle and not frowned upon because of they way the view "lovers"

My parents said that the wearing balck thing was just a phase for me and I started that at about 13 and I'm now 20 and I still wear black, I don't feel right wearing anything else.

Everyone has been through phases. The stages of your life are phases, infant-hood, childhood, adulthood, they are all phases. I hate to say it, but I used to be emo (not in the original sense of the word, in the 'self centered, overly angsty, stupid whiny teen' kind of way.) thankfully I got over that.

As far as the wearing black thing goes, it may or may not be a phase. Because most people's taste in clothes is highly dictated by society and media, almost all clothing styles are phases, but some people just prefer black clothing and there is nothing wrong with that. As was stated above, the problem with phases is, you don't know it's a phase until it has passed. So if you ever stop wearing black all the time, then it would be a phase. (Personally I love to wear black, but it is just too hot in the summer too wear it.)

xxjaimiexx:

i wanna find who i am and wether it be punk emo goth prep what have you thats what im gonna be.

That is a phase. Sometimes people don't always get through it, but I still consider it a phase. Every teenager/young adult goes through this. It's part of growing up.

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i also think that being "bi" is not just a phase... yes many teens claim to be but you never know...

Being Bi-sexual isn't a phase, but being Bi-curios (almost) always is. It's called Bi-curious for a reason, you're curious. You don't know what being with someone of the same gender is like and you want to know, so you experiment a little. I think of myself as straight, but I am Bi-curious, I've never been intimate with another girl and I'm curious as to what it would be like.

Radio Saturday:

The meaningless relationships these kids forge during this phase teach them that human beings are disposable, like cheap fashionable clothes.

But that can apply to any relationship you have when you are young, not just same sex relationships.
Also, I disagree, while some people may still treat relationships that way even when they grow up, most people mature and learn better.

Well I do think some things, like what we wear, are phases, just because fashion style changes, and as we get older, certain things are more appropriate or convenient. For example, I use to cake my face with makeup every morning in highschool, but now that im in college, I wake up late and am generally to busy or lazy to put so much as foundation on. As I moved through cliques in highschool, my style changed quite a bit as well. I'v gone from tutus and rainbow suspenders to t shirt and jeans (which is what I currently rock)
For that, mainly because I work, and I want to look somewhat presentable, though I still adore my old fashion on people.


A great example of a phase queen is my sister though. She jumps onto a new cliques attitude and style every school semester or so. She has decided now that shes an "indie kid" and that if it's not acoustic she won't listen to it.

A lot of that is just finding your identity, but some things, like being vegetarian, have more to do with your core beliefs. Depending on how passionately you follow those, it may be a "phase" or a lifestyle choice.

Lol i have the total opposite - if i wear colours my friends and that go, oh it's just a phase! my best friend once freaked right out when i was wearing pink in summer, i thought she was going to faint but everyone goes through phases as the people above have stated.

Just keep being you and wear what you want and do what you want, your parents will give up soon enough telling you it's just a phase when it doesn't change

Radio Saturday:

Some things are phases and some things do last a long time. It's impossible to tell when you're in one and when you've really hit on something you'll love and want to do forever/a long time.

However, I would like to add that some "phases" can be harmful both to you and to other people. For example, some kids claim to be "bi-curious" or "bisexual," when in actuality, it's just a phase or a trend. The meaningless relationships these kids forge during this phase teach them that human beings are disposable, like cheap fashionable clothes. In the meantime, other kids who actual are bi- or homosexual and have had relationships with people "just going through a phase" can be deeply hurt when the experimenter's attachment is not as deep as they might have believed it to be.

So I guess I just wanted to point out that, while music and clothing styles are one thing as phases, it's better to think long and hard about things like sexual orientation, and not allow passing fancies to dominate one's thought processes.

I couldn't agree more. i don't like to label everything as simply a "phace" I work in a nursery and people say that everything their kid is doing is part of some "phase" in all honesty, not everything is just a "phase", like an example I went through a "phase" were I was really into Jesse McCartney. then later I got really into MCR, I outgrew Jesse McCartney, I just got over him and I only really knew afew of his songs and he never meant more to me then just like a pretty boy, but with MCR, I've been listening to them for almost twice as long now as I did with Jesse McCartney, I know every MCR song out by heart, I worked hard in school for two years to get the chance to see them, the list just goes on, but in the end, they are what I turn to when I ever I feel depressed or whatever and they give me a reason to live, they helped me through so much.

So there are some things you like for alittle while and then get over, then there are just some things you get so into, that it almost in you mind helps you define yourself, or helps you to identify things in your mind.

Now with the whole Bi issue, I consider myself bi at the moment, I odn't really kno if I am straight or lebian, but in all honesty things have happened to me and I don't at all feel comfertable with guys, that isn't just some "phase" that was getting hurt and now living with the consequence for something i had no control over. the girl that use to be my best friend claimed she was "bi" but in reality she was just trying to make herself be "cool" and she put me through alot of heartache because of her lie.

To me if you stick with something and you grow into in such a way that you don't just ditch it for the next fad then that isn't a phase

Yeah, I can relate to this topic well.

According to my parents, I am in a black phase too. And they're waiting for me to become normal (which means wearing "better" clothes, not wanting to have tattoos or piercings etc). It aggrivates me alot. THIS is normal for me.

I think that parents always want their children to be what they want them to be. So they just call everything a phase and hope they will get over it.

i think that with a lot of things you just have to wait and see if its a phase, some things you do know for suer tat are not phases, but some your just too in love with it too think if it is or isnt. Something only becomes a phase once your out of it, thats how i see it, or when you know that what the person is doing is completely out of character, (you can only really see if its out of charater of youve known them for a long while).

It gets to a certain time frame when friends and parents can see that it is not a phase. i mean, my parents used to think that me wearing black, and band tees and jeans was just a phase and that i wanted tattoos was just a phases, but they have seen my dedication to it and seen tat it is not a phase, and i my mums even gotton some tattoos and is going to pay for my first one when i finsh school!
Its sortof like a test, you ahve to judge it on each individual and how long its been going to see if its a phase. Phases definately exist, we've all been through them, thats how we fnd out who we truely are.

My dad says that my obsession with MCR is just a phase.He said that probably I'll give them up,while they're having a break.He says the same thing about wearing black.
All people go through different phases and it's normal.We change our way of thinking and build our characters.

There seems to be a recurring idea that there is something wrong with phases. I would just like to raise the point that phases are a) perfectly normal, and b) perfectly fine. While there are differences between a phase and a commitment to a lifestyle, phases, interests and beliefs all guide us in finding the right lifestyle, or path, if you will.

So 'going through a phase' is just one way of seeing if something is right for you. Because if you don't try, you will never know. For example, if I hadn't tried being vegetarian at a young age, I wouldn't have known that it is a lifestyle that works for me.

Also, I disagree with the idea that you have to resolutely choose your sexuality and orientation, especially at a young age. A major part of developing is curiosity, and a lot of young people experience both homosexual and heterosexual relationships. I think that it is all a part of working out who you are. At that kind of age, no-one expects relationships to last a lifetime. So why not have a phase? Better then than in 25 years when you are married or something ridiculous!

Phases can teach you a lot. For example my classic literature phase. But they also guide you to building the person that you will become; from classic literature, to abstract poetry, to a degree in English Literature in my case. And while classic literature may not be a major interest for me anymore, it opened up my mind to other things. Much as my phases in music, vegetarianism, politics, fashion and a million other subtleties.