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A couple of my old poetry

AuthorMessage
Smooth Criminal
Bleeding on the Floor
Smooth Criminal
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 1373
August 10th, 2008 at 01:41pm
the blade shined on the table next to her
She told herself no
but her unwilling hand had a mind of its own
Part of her conscience was stoppingher
the haunting memories made it all a blur
the still-sick part of her grabbed it
ready to slice
The pained needed to be exterminated
like an infestation of mice
the blade touched her skin
her punishment for being letting herself be stretched so thin
Deep cuts, slicing hard and fast
she moaned
shes never going to last
Blood poored from her veins
watching it drain
Shes definatly gone insane
Smooth Criminal
Bleeding on the Floor
Smooth Criminal
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 1373
August 10th, 2008 at 01:42pm
Now you've taken it all away
anger flows thru my veins
you'll get what you deserve one day
A slow painful job of the knife
the ending of your life
is revenge the only answer?
sometimes i think i was born backwards
sometimes i wish i had cancer
why must u speak to me with such tone?
somtimes i fear ill die alone
clutching my cure
ive felt this way before
i wont be your whore
i just wanna knock u down
and see u bleeding on the floor
Smooth Criminal
Bleeding on the Floor
Smooth Criminal
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 1373
August 10th, 2008 at 01:44pm
I've fallen and now im bruising
why does god send this confusion?
the nightmares have stoped
but the dream will never be real
these scars will never heal
i stare at my own reflextion
seeing nothing more than a broken girl of imperfection
Smooth Criminal
Bleeding on the Floor
Smooth Criminal
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 1373
September 19th, 2008 at 06:43pm
The screaming is back in my head
Disturbing my dreaming wishing i was dead
Taking me down
Leaving me confused and dumbfound
I hate life;it sucks
i hate all these stupid fucks
Hoping bliss will take my side
Before the screaming takes me alive.
make some noise;
Jazz Hands
make some noise;
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 271
September 20th, 2008 at 10:55pm
I love all your poetry, but on the one you posted yesterday, I think it would have more depth and meaning, you know, if you took the ;I hate life;it sucks, I hate all these stupid fucks' because it gives off the wrong impression, makes it seem almost.... I don't know....... a little... childish, I guess. Like you put that part of it in just so you could add 'fucks'. It takes away from the... beautiful tragedy of it all, is what I'm trying to say, I guess. It deviates from the theme. You are so very talented, though. Keep up the good work, love. =]