How Did They Save Your Life?

they gave me a reason for living
through their songs & gerard's message
scarily, when i saw gerard at brixton his words really meant something to me, he said "dont let people at school get you down 'cos youre bigger than them, you're faster than them. fuck you're better looking than them!"
the fact thats he said SCHOOL made me like woaahh!!!
they're the only band that i actually LOVE
they're like 5 good friends that have been there for me for 4 years now, i couldn't bear my life without them.

mine is the same as girl_anachromism adn i was at my grandmothers house. i would have never had seen that if i werent there and i was going to kill myself that night. so wen i heard gerard say that i was like omgee i have to find a better way to try to heel.

I don't know exactly how to start this, because I'm awful at starting things, so I'm just going to dive right into it.

Background information:
-My household consists of yelling, screaming, crying, insults, insensitivity, cruelty, and borderline physical abuse. It's not a good place to be.
-I have a mental disorder called 'dysthymia' which is basically mild depression.
-The week leading up to this night involved some really intense fights between my parents and I, my brother [who raised me and basically protects me] being out of town, my phone being taken away, a night where I stood outside my parent's bedroom door and self-injured until the cows came home, and basically everything that could go wrong going wrong.

Now, let's get to the story.

It's three o' clock in the morning. Everyone is asleep, except me, obviously. A horrible raging fight has taken place a few hours ago, and I can't get over some of the things that were said and done. I'm listening to my iPod on shuffle, and it's playing the most depressing music imaginable. Finally, I get up, and dig around in my purse until I find the bottle of Aleve I keep for when I have problems with my bad knees. It's new, and has 80 220mg pills in it. I go to the bathroom and take a new travel bottle of ibuprofin, with 60 200mg pills in it. I fill up a bottle with water, pour the pills out onto my bed, and arrange them in neat little piles of five pills each. Then, I start downing the piles.
When I finish, I walk downstairs and drink half a bottle of wine and some grapefruit juice, because I know both break down pills and make your body absorb them faster.
I sit down on my kitchen floor- the one room I've ever actually liked in my house- and close my eyes and wait. I'm still listening to my iPod.
All of a sudden, I hear
"I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone"
playing through my earbuds.
I start crying, and realize what I'm doing, and realize how much MCR has spoken against this and how disappointed in me they would be if they knew me.
I pick up the house phone and call my friend, who calls a friend with a car. He comes and picks me up and brings me to the hospital, where I am strapped down to a bed, my blood is taken, and I eventually pass out from the amount of painkiller in my system. (I was kind of put out that it still hurt when they took my blood. I didn't really think it was fair.) When I wake up, I am covered in charcoal- they tried to tube it into me, but I guess I wasn't really passed out, just blacked out....because I had punched four nurses in the face, kicked another in the stomach, and broke one's collarbone. They ended up having to sedate me, and THEN charcoal me. I am horrified and don't remember any of this.

I spent two days in the hospital, before I was transferred to a mental institution. I spent those days singing MCR songs and repeatedly kicking my parents out of my room.
On the ambulance ride to the mental hospital, the drivers (who were both very young and very kind and very fun to be around) played the alt.rock station on the radio...and what were they playing? My Chemical Romance.
When I got to the hospital, I was terrified and crying and an absolute mess. Turns out, a girl I vaguely knew from random conversations at school was there for drug addiction, and she was my roommate. It was like someone was looking out for me.
When she left, I met another girl, and we bonded after learning that we both loved MCR dearly.
I spent a week in the mental hospital, leaving a day after my new friend. I wouldn't have lived through it, or escaped with my sanity, without My Chemical Romance.
For that, all I can really say is "thank you" because there aren't words for my gratitude.
So.....if any of the members of that amazing, glorious, fabulous, absolutely perfect band are reading this.....thank you, from the bottom of my heart, more than you will ever know.
xxMara

near the end of 6th grade, i was planning to commit suicide over the summer. but about three weeks before the last day of school, i reallu got into them and the whole summer i forgot about killing myself. i wasn't suicidal anymore by August 2007. so i guess they saved my life then by being a distraction.

but when 7th grade started, i started cutting myself and became depressed again... i'm in 8th grade now though, and at a different school, yet i'm still sad

...but they make me forget about it for a very long time, which is a good thing. they make me smile whenever i see them, too. but they don't really save my life anymore. but they still inspire me. and if it wasn't without them, i think i would be even more depressed.

I think MCR somewhat has helped me stay alive. I see all the things the band members have been through-Gerard, especially-and it gives me strength. I love how they're not like other bands at all. They make you feel like they care about their fans. I love them!!

I wasn't suicidal when I started listening to them.
I think when I did, I was just to young to understanda about why people kill themselves.
I'd never had to deal with it and nobody else talked about it; so I didn't really know what it was. I was a happy 12 year old, and I found MCR.
But I think in my own mind that they have made me stronger. If anything; not physically, but emotionally. And lately, I have been feeling sad at points; sometimes for no reason, and MCR they make me happy again. Listening to INO over and over ;P

You see, I was sort of a freak back then. I've always been weird, in many ways.
I got bullied alot, and eventually my friends started turning their backs. My family doesn't really care except if I'm banged up real bad or dead. at first I'm like wtf I don't need you. but I was wrong. It was a few months after the Black Parade.
One day I was alone at home, I was listening to my ipod. I was cooking (bad place). I usually cook to relieve myself from depressed situations. That was when I saw the knife lying around. I went what the hell, no one will miss me anyway. I picked it up, but then Famous Last words started booming.
" I am not afraid to keep on living"
"I am not afraid to walk this world alone"

At first I just froze, but then realized what I was doing. Why end it now? Besides, my dog would be devastated to lose me. But it was much more than that. I broke into tears. those people don't matter. If I have to live alone, I will.

nobody ever knew about this. but you guys now