t'lema Salute You in Your Grave Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 2109
December 5th, 2008 at 01:13pm
Asexulaity is an orientation when people have no libido. They may expeirence arousal and occaisionally masturbate, but they have no desire to involve another person.
People who identify as asexual can be in romantic relationships, some evrn get married, but these relationships are sexless.
It is estimated than only 1% of the population is asexual, but little research has been done on this subculture.
Asexulaity is NOT the same as celibacy. People who are celibate have sexual desires, but choose not to indulge in sex. Asexuals have no desire for sexc, and believe they are born with this sexuality, the same way they believe people are born gay/straight.
A good metaphor for I found was this:
You are offered chocolate cake, and someone says, "No thanks, I'm on a diet." (Celibate)
Someone else is offered chocolate cake and says "No thanks, I don't like chocolate cake." (Asexual)
Some asexuals identify as straight/gay/bisexual, as they seek out these romantic/intimate relationships despte not being interested in sex.
Any thoughts on this sexuality?
Anyone identify this way? After a long period of thinking about myself, and trying to be in relationships with people I love, I identify as asexual. It doesn't mean I didn't love the people I was with, it just meant I had no interest in sex.
More information can be found here: at AVEN it's a great site.
Worlds Away Jazz Hands Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 273
December 5th, 2008 at 11:56pm
Wow, I didn't actually know about this. It seems quite interesting. By the way, that's a really good metaphor and makes it easier for people to understand how it is. This has definitely given me something to think about and discuss with my friends at school.
My Demise Bleeding on the Floor Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 1098
December 6th, 2008 at 12:33pm
I've heard there is two kinds of asexuality; romantic and aromantic.
Romantic asexuality is when you can be romantically involved with some, but not the sex part. And then aromantic is when you can feel no attraction to anyone in anyway. Is this true?
severus. Awake and Unafraid Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 12901
December 6th, 2008 at 02:30pm
My Demise:
I've heard there is two kinds of asexuality; romantic and aromantic.
Romantic asexuality is when you can be romantically involved with some, but not the sex part. And then aromantic is when you can feel no attraction to anyone in anyway. Is this true?
Yeah, I've heard a bit about that, too. I believe it. It's possible to love someone in a romantic sense, want to spend your life with them - maybe even raise a family, but not want to have sex. I believe it.
t'lema Salute You in Your Grave Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 2109
December 6th, 2008 at 03:35pm
^That's how I understand it yes. You can be in a romantic relationship without sex.
Some people dont want relationships, some asexuals don't even like to be touched, but some want caring loving relationships. Just because they don't want sex doesn't mean they don't want love.
K.K. Bleeding on the Floor Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 1787
December 8th, 2008 at 04:34am
Lot's of old people have romantic relationships without sex.
If two people really love each other, they don't need sex - that prooves just how much they love each other
I was in a relationship like that with a girl, but we held the whole thing secret 'cause she had a boyfriend and my parents would have killed me if
they'd have found out that I was in love with a girl. (They're not Homophobic though and they wouldn't have killed me
they'd just make a big deal out of it..and that's as bad as killing me..)
t'lema Salute You in Your Grave Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 2109
December 8th, 2008 at 06:48am
Asexuality is not just old people who have lost interest, or are too old for sex. It is people of any age who have never had any interest in sex.
Mindfuck Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614
December 8th, 2008 at 08:27am
tear:
Lot's of old people have romantic relationships without sex.
If two people really love each other, they don't need sex - that prooves just how much they love each other
I was in a relationship like that with a girl, but we held the whole thing secret 'cause she had a boyfriend and my parents would have killed me if
they'd have found out that I was in love with a girl. (They're not Homophobic though and they wouldn't have killed me
they'd just make a big deal out of it..and that's as bad as killing me..)
I don't think either of those situations have much to do with asexuality. Just because you may not be having sex in a relationship it doesn't automatically mean you're asexual. If you're asexual, you're asexual for your whole life - not just up until you're 'old' and may not have such an active sex life anymore
(By the way, I'm not saying older people don't have sex - they do - but I'm just saying for argument's sake).
Person0001 Always Born a Crime Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099
December 8th, 2008 at 11:04am
I think asexuality is probably a state of being based upon hampered libido. Priests and nuns are supposed to lead asexual lifestyles once they have taken the vow, but we know that this doesn't work out for everybody, and we also don't know what they really do in the privacy of their own chambers.
t'lema Salute You in Your Grave Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 2109
December 8th, 2008 at 11:54am
Deb:
I think asexuality is probably a state of being based upon hampered libido. Priests and nuns are supposed to lead asexual lifestyles once they have taken the vow, but we know that this doesn't work out for everybody, and we also don't know what they really do in the privacy of their own chambers.
It hasn't a hampered libido, it's a complete lack of libido. It has nothing to do with vows of celibacy, it's a complete lack of sexual attraction to other people.
Some people do theorise that asexualtiy could be caused by a hormone dificiency, or in individual cases possibly abuse, but it has nothing to do with nuns or monks abstaining from sex. There is no desire to abstain from.
Person0001 Always Born a Crime Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099
December 8th, 2008 at 01:20pm
Huck.:
It hasn't a hampered libido, it's a complete lack of libido. It has nothing to do with vows of celibacy, it's a complete lack of sexual attraction to other people.
"Hampered" means there is something wrong with it, and celibate lifestyles are nonetheless asexual ones. You don't engage.
HM, when i saw asexual for some reason i thought of plants. I have a friend that often has no sexual desires. I'm going to talk to him about this and see if it applies to him. Interesting stuff.
Meeshell Awake and Unafraid Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 10166
December 8th, 2008 at 04:35pm
Well, aren't there certain medical steps a person can take to boost libido?
For example, is it possible for someone described as asexual due to a complete lack of sexual interest WISH to have sexual interest?
and if they wish for the libido, couldnt they seek help from something like a sex therapist or a doctor?
Mindfuck Always Born a Crime Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614
December 8th, 2008 at 06:53pm
Deb:
and celibate lifestyles are nonetheless asexual ones. You don't engage.
Not necessarily.
Just because you're celibate it doesn't have to mean you're asexual. If you're celibate, you may still have sexual feelings or urges, but just abstain from having sex. People who are asexual have no desire for sex in the first place, so for them to abstain is a sure and natural choice for them.
NOM NOM NOM.:
Well, aren't there certain medical steps a person can take to boost libido?
For example, is it possible for someone described as asexual due to a complete lack of sexual interest WISH to have sexual interest?
and if they wish for the libido, couldnt they seek help from something like a sex therapist or a doctor?
I don't think asexual people have any desire to be sexual; they probably don't feel anything is wrong with them, so they probably don't feel the need for it to be changed. This is my understanding of asexuality.
As Huck said in their first post - asexuality is a sexuality like heterosexuality or homosexuality. So why does it need to be 'helped' by a therapist? And I don't think it can even be changed completely, even if the person wanted it to be.
oh I read about someone like this the other day. It must be hard for them, feeling different to everyone else =( And relationships too, at some point someone will expect there to be that level to the relationship, a lot of people wont get involved with someone who isn't at all interested.
Person0001 Always Born a Crime Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099
December 9th, 2008 at 10:05am
Mindfuck:
Just because you're celibate it doesn't have to mean you're asexual. If you're celibate, you may still have sexual feelings or urges, but just abstain from having sex.
Yeah, I suppose it's a technicality, but asexuality is actually the goal for priests and nuns, is it not?
t'lema Salute You in Your Grave Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 2109
December 9th, 2008 at 11:32am
Deb:
Huck.:
It hasn't a hampered libido, it's a complete lack of libido. It has nothing to do with vows of celibacy, it's a complete lack of sexual attraction to other people.
"Hampered" means there is something wrong with it, and celibate lifestyles are nonetheless asexual ones. You don't engage.
You don't understand, there is nothing for an asexual person to engage in. It's not celibacy, that's a totally different thing.
Ash-Peters:
NOM NOM NOM:
No, I'm afraid you're wrong. Asexuals are often completely happy with the way they are, and have no desire to boost or create a libido. Relationships may not be easy with sexual people, but they can make it work.
Straight from the asexual's mouth :if you could be sexual would you?
No.
Person0001 Always Born a Crime Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099
December 9th, 2008 at 11:36am
Huck.:
You don't understand, there is nothing for an asexual person to engage in. It's not celibacy, that's a totally different thing.
I understand completely - please do not tell me that I don't understand things. The goal for a celibate person is to reach an asexual state of mind; asexuals attain this state naturally by already having the low libido.
t'lema Salute You in Your Grave Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 2109
December 9th, 2008 at 12:44pm
Deb:
Huck.:
You don't understand, there is nothing for an asexual person to engage in. It's not celibacy, that's a totally different thing.
I understand completely - please do not tell me that I don't understand things. The goal for a celibate person is to reach an asexual state of mind; asexuals attain this state naturally by already having the low libido.
I'm sorry but I think we'll have to agree to disagree. I see celibacy and asexuality as totally separate things. Celibacy may be a consequence of asexualtiy, but asexuality is not a goal, it's how a person is born, as was stated in the video.
EDIT: Sorry I'm just going to clarify why I think that celibacy and asexuality are different. I realsie I just look pig-headed and not open to others.
Asexuals can and do (some, admittedly not all) masturbate/engage in sex with sexual partners.
Browsing the AVEN forums, you see people taling about engaging in sex with their partners simpley as an activity, they don't get sexual satisfaction from it, but they still do sometimes, the closeness is appealing.
Person0001 Always Born a Crime Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099
December 9th, 2008 at 01:15pm
Huck.:
I'm sorry but I think we'll have to agree to disagree. I see celibacy and asexuality as totally separate things. Celibacy may be a consequence of asexualtiy, but asexuality is not a goal, it's how a person is born. Browsing the AVEN forums, you see people taling about engaging in sex with their partners simpley as an activity, they don't get sexual satisfaction from it, but they still do sometimes, the closeness is appealing.
I am fine with agreeing to disagree, although I'm not sure we completely do disagree - couldn't there be some asexuals who choose celibacy as a lifestyle? Also, couldn't there be non-asexuals who choose celibacy as a lifestyle and seek to attain a state of asexuality? Just food for thought. Interesting about what's being said in that forum.
