Bad parenting
| Author | Message |
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| Tanya1979 Fabulous Killjoy  Age: 44 Gender: Female Posts: 174 | I have my opinions, I would like just like to hear others opinions? Thanks Love and Light Honnies? Also a friend of mine gave her kids away, to their fathers, all have different fathers. I think that she did the right thing. Other people that I know say she was being unfit by doing this. Which I do not think this way. I think her children are better off now. Opinions? |
| bloodredruby69 Banned  Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8293 | This topic would be answered better in the INO Chamber's Q&A thread, as there isn't actually enough here to discuss in the DB. If you go there and post your question, you should get a fitting response. I'm reporting this now, so please do not post in this thread anymore. Thanks. -------------------------------------------- EDIT: Allrighty then. Thanks for looking into this. I wasn't sure if this actually had enough meat for a full topic all to itself. |
| samantha connolly In The Murder Scene  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 24519 | Eh, I say, let's see where all this goes. There's actually a good bit of discussion here, if we can jsut broaden the terms to, what defines good parenting? what defines bad parenting? how much does bad parenting affect a child? do children choose to only remember the bad parenting, not the good? Dr. Laura stuff right there, haha. You guys gotta present some good discussion though, or I'll lock this. Not just "omg my mom sux." |
| bloodredruby69 Banned Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8293 | Well then, since I effectively stuck my foot in my mouth and killed this thread, I'll start and help revive it. Gomen Tanya, my bad. -------------------------------- I believe parenting is not something that can be defined by a book or a guide. Each child is different and each situation is different, so a cookie cutter guide could never guarantee successful parenting. If the parent cares enough, they will make sure that they are raising their children right. The parents are responsible for the child until the kid is at an age to make mature and informed decisions in regards to itself and others, by itself. It is the parent's job to instill in their children a sense of self, responsibility, right and wrong, ethics, respect, etc. This can be done in many ways, and as long as the child learns these things and recieves love and support from their parents, then the parenting is successfull. I think that children remember bad parenting (or what they see as bad parenting) more than the good, because the things that make them upset or angry are more likely to stick, than the everyday, taken for granted love and support that they recieve. |
| Tanya1979 Fabulous Killjoy Age: 44 Gender: Female Posts: 174 | Kind of in a hurry right now, but will add more tomorrow. I say every parent for sure makes a truckload of mistakes. Heck, I know that I do. But I can't see why some parents can not learn from them. I don't mean this towards all parenst. There are parents that do see threw their bad parenting skills and they correct them. I went to a voleentary parenting class for 4 1/2 years. Until the class instructor said that 4 1/2 years was more than enough. Also said that i could probably teach my own class. *aww* I know that each child is different and never the same, in anyway shape or form. some parenting skills work well for some parents and not well with others. What I think good parents skills are made of is ;;Firstly, the child(ren) come first and farmost. If the parent is providing for the child, supportive and caring, nurturing and does everything in their power to make sure that the child(ren) are safe, then that is good parenting in my eyes. Alway stick to routines as well. Child(ren) need to know where they will be at what time, who is around.... Pretty much have the same routine day in day out. I gotta go, will probably add more tomorrow. Night lovies. |
| mcrmama Killjoy Age: - Gender: - Posts: 20 | I think bad parenting is putting work before your kids, I know alot of people that do this.Alot of my friends do that actually. I think as long as you love your good put what's best for them first and not worry about yourself. I also think good parents should let their kids make their own decidsions, I know a mother that fights with her four year old daughter every single morning because the child wants to dress herself, don't worry about what people think of hteir clothes, they're four! Letting them discover who they are is much more important. Always keep them healthy and in a clean enviroment. And don't yell at them all the time if your yelling at them because they accidentally spilled Cheerios that's wrong but if your talking with them because they hit another kid then that's okay and do not under any circumstances cuss at them |
| Tanya1979 Fabulous Killjoy Age: 44 Gender: Female Posts: 174 | I agree with that. I have to dress my 5 and 7 year old for school though. But my twins get to dress themselves. They can look pretty funny at times. But there are times when work must come first. As long as you have the proper care for your children. I was working very long hours to support my kids and I had my mom look after them. She was living with me at the time. Something like that is ok, since bills have to be paid. one way or another. I don't agree if you decide that you don't have enough money for that new jacket or for a shopping frenzy and you decide to work and extra 20 hours a week to get that. I know people who do that, just so they can look good while going out to the shop to buy a coffee. UGH, I can't stand that. |
| Tanya1979 Fabulous Killjoy Age: 44 Gender: Female Posts: 174 | About bad parenting effects children. yes it does. My parents were not the best parents. And for the longest time I could never open up to anyone. because my dad would never show emotions, always was yelling and stuff. So it kind of rubbed off on me. |
| Antichrist Superstar Bleeding on the Floor  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 1279 | there is somthing about bad parenting that my hero [[look at my icon]] said and i find if of great value http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh0WGhf2s3U It's amazing. It gives a great insight on parenting pretty much all of my veiws |
| Tanya1979 Fabulous Killjoy Age: 44 Gender: Female Posts: 174 | How should you deal with children that have special needs? I have a son that has ADHD, ODD, Autism (I can never spell that) and Tourettes. He can get on my nerves serverly at times. Since it is not his fault at all. I simply just put him in his room when he is going through ones of his bad days. He stays in there until he has calmed down a bit, then he can continue to play with his 3 siblings. Where I live you can spank with reason. But, how do you deal with a child with so many mental problems? Surely not the same way as other children. My son is 7 and has a mind of a 3-4 year old |
| Thursday's Child Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 1324 | I think good parenting revolves around unconditional love for the child. that's not to say you can't get upset or annoyed by the child but really, you created this person, you brought them into the world and they look up to you (in most cases) I don't know, there's this one incident that stands out in my mind: there was this mother with her two children in the grocery store with me, and the kids were probably like four or five. And they would run ahead her and she would scream at them to knock it off. And then they would ask here normal questions like "What are we getting for dinner," and she's reply that they should shut up, that she shouldn't even thought about bringing them along. Now, I'm not one to normally judge. but that just seems unnecessary. you can't expect them to be perfect. and when they aren't you need to learn that their your life. I know it's hard when they have mental disabilities, but it comes down to the fact that they didn't ask to be born this way, it was probability that turn out against their and your favor. basically, like I said before, unconditional love. that's what makes good parenting. |
| Tanya1979 Fabulous Killjoy Age: 44 Gender: Female Posts: 174 | I give that to my kids, always. But I never take them to the grocery store. That's a hit and a half for my ass right there. I agree with you on unconditional love. |
| Sammie Really Not Okay Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 639 | I don't think good or bad parenting can be defined in a book or anything like that. I also that too much belief is put into parenting books. I think you should go with your instincts, we all have them and I think you should follow them and only use outside help when you ave tried everything else. My father, I have to admit he hasnt been the greatest parent, but he has never hit me or anything like that. He just has never been there as a parent. When I call my dad 'dad' it feels like just a word. He only created me nothing more. But can he be labelled a bad parent? Its for you guys to decide. |
| Lady Wicked Killjoy  Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 80 | I think that people are to strict on the whole bad parenting subject... if you children are being bad they disserve to be spaked but there is a limit to that a spanking does not mean you go all out and beat them up it just kind of a swat and i think that people get that confused. What im getting at is that children should be punnished for WRONG actions BUT NOT to extremes.  (go me) |
| Lady Wicked Killjoy Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 80 | Sammie: I think that maybe if you guys spent more time together that "dad" would mean more to you and saying (enter name here) would mean more to him... I don't spend as much time with my dad n-e more but i still try and i feel like its my fault sum times- but i don't think my dad's a bad parent because of it |
| Lady Wicked Killjoy Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 80 | The Pinball Wizard.: Some parents dont know how. Being pissy at your husband or situation in life could possibly make you take things out on your kids even though you know it's not there fault any one can have a bad day, but it does not excuse the fact that the mom was being a snag. What she should have done is let them pick out what cereal they want or help her pick out dinner and try to make things seem better for them and for her. I know that im not a parent or any thing close to one, but i work with kids alot and even if i'm in a bad mood it always makes me feel better if i see them happy cuz i know that i helped it along. |
| Kaede Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 1359 | Parents who don't take responsibility. An example would be a parent who puts their kids in front of the tv and tells them to shut up and by the time a child does a bad thing the parents blame the tv. So much for parenting... |
| Ignore Alien Orders Salute You in Your Grave  Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2026 | i think one of the biggest things parents do "wrong"--though i don't think it's intentional--is underestimating how much their kids can see and understand. this isn't just from my experience with my parents, but my experience in dealing with families i've done babysitting/dog sitting for and friends of the family. there's a friend of the family who, like my mother, is a severe alcoholic. she has a daughter who's several years younger than me. with both of them, i can tell when they've been drinking, just because i've been around it for so long, and they don't know i can. this other mother's child, she can also tell, and her mother thinks that her child is completely in the dark about it. even younger kids can tell when something's going on. another family i knew years ago, there was some drama with one parent cheating on the other.. the kids didn't know the details, but hell, they knew something was going on, something big, and mommy and daddy wouldn't be together anymore, and they were acting out because of it. the other thing i think is that sometimes parents put too much stock in appearances. there's one i know who, when her daughter told her that she wanted to quit girl scouts, decided that she was going to cut her off from a friend who was also quitting, and that her daughter was "worshipping the devil" when she wasn't going to church. not kidding. and the thing is, she doesn't care about how much of a mess she or her daughter is inside, as long as they look okay to others. |
| girl interrupted. Salute You in Your Grave  Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 2792 | My parents are cool, they let me have freedom, but I have boundries. My brother has Autism, and thrives by routine. He's 8, by the way. Routine can mess some kid's heads up. Every year, I spend one week living by his rules. It 'locks me in my own world', which, I guess, is how my brother feels without routine. Every kid is different. Bad parenting is when you see dads yelling at their five year olds saying things like "get back upstairs you little sh*t". Good parenting is providing a safe, warm, comfortable, loving home for the child. Kids probably do remember the bad parenting more than the good, because they take the love for granted and it's just always there, y'know? |
| Future-Mrs-Way Killjoy  Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 36 | I think your'e friend could have done the right thing by giving them too their fathers, if she couldn't cope anymore it would be in their best intersts... |
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