Underage Engagement
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| blow Bleeding on the Floor  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 1137 | Cigarettes And Suicide: An engagement and going steady are totally different things. An engagement means you are getting married, going steady just means you are in a serious relationship, not anything about marriage. Engagement leads to marriage and I don't think people should get married so soon. |
| nevergetmealive Joining The Black Parade  Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 226 | ^^^^yes it does lead to amrriage eventually, but it does not mean they have to anytime soon. Many couples wait years before they actualyl get married and just stay engaged for a long time. There is no binding contract or anything that says you must get married when engaged, its just assumed. Therefore there is no harm in teens getting engaged because there is nothing they cant get out of, just like going steady. It is the same as going steady, except now somene wears a ring, and there is the thought of marriage somewhere in the future. But ther is also the thought of marriage in the future for alot of serious relationships, just because there is a ring to show this thought, does not amke it a thing they have to do, or more innapropraite than going steady, in essence they are the same thing |
| Mindfuck Always Born a Crime  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614 | I don't really have anything against people getting engaged underage, but I think why some people have a problem with it is because there's that anticipation to get married at a young age. I'm talking 14 or 15 years old. A lot of people will question why they're thinking about marriage at that age, and will question why they can't just "go steady" or be in a relationship. Cigarettes And Suicide:I realise that engagement isn't technically set in stone, but I would think it would be harder to break up with someone if you're engaged to them rather than just going out. Because when you're engaged, you've essentially made a plan to eventually marry, so if you break up you're throwing those plans out the window. Engagement may not be a set in stone contract, but I would propose there's more emotional ties to the relationship because of the anticipation of spending the rest of your life together. |
| Cigarettes And Suicide Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 37 Gender: Female Posts: 1725 | ^ Kids are romantic. They like the idea of 'the one' and settling down and having the fairytale romance and happily ever after thing. They're not as cynical as us poor adults, so I don't blame them one bit for wanting all the lovely romantic stuff that goes with the notion of being married. That's why they think about it at such a young age. The thing is, with teenagers being the volatile, highly emotional and foresightless creatures they are by nature, the breaking of a teen engagement can come just as fast and furiously as the breakup of any other relationship involving people of that age. We can sit there and say, 'But they were anticipating being together FOREVER!', but one must wonder if a 15-year-old really, truly does grasp the concept of 'forever', or being with one person from start to finish. A lot of teenagers quit their relationships because they wake up one morning and, despite the fact that things have been going well, they say to themselves, 'But what am I missing out on?' and decide to go find out what else is out there. Where an adult engagement may be seriously thought out and truly mulled over for months, if not years, teenagers tend to be swept up in their crazy feelings and decide that engagement would be a great way to really show their boy/girlfriend just how much they love them. And then, when things sour, it's just a matter of dealing with the normal teen heartbreak that comes with any broken commitment. I should know, I've been there. If anything, I was more broken up (and for a much longer time) when a boyfriend dumped me (at age 16), than when my fiance and I ended it (aged 18 ). |
| make some noise; Jazz Hands  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 271 | I agree, [although you could consider me one of those 'kids', I guess,] that younger teens enjoy the fairytale hapliy ever after aspect that goes along with marriages. They daydream about getting married and being in love and having the one, as you said. On the other hand, engagements shouldn't be something thrown around as carelessly as simple high-school relationships. Many adults scoff at the idea of teenagers getting engaged now, because they realize that the two probably WON'T be together forever. Younger teenagers, even including myself at this point, DON'T grasp the concept of 'forever'. They don't realize that marriage, in essence, is supposed to last forever. Part of that is the culture today; when my mom was growing up, she was a social outcast because her parents were divorced and now it's extremely common. Teenagers should live their lives and be grateful that they have the chance to be kids, and not think about marriage until, at the very least, after they've graduated high school. On the other-other hand, a concept that was introduced to me a few months ago was 'pre-engagement rings', rings that mean that the couple intends to become engaged once they've been dating a while and realize that either this IS the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with or no, this ISN'T the person they thought they fell in love with a month, or 6 months, or year, or 2 years ago and can break it off befure the teenagers start thinking of an engagement that can be made and broken several times because technically it doesn't mean anything until they're actually married. |
| Dir-en-grey Joining The Black Parade  Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 231 | Personally I am "engaged" but its not like i'm going and getting married in like a few months. 4 years to wait. That may seem like a long time but im commited. If something happens between now and then, well then thats whats ment to be. Its really the business of the people that are doing it. Got my girl a promise ring ^.^ |
| creameggsandcheese Killjoy  Age: 29 Gender: Female Posts: 13 | Cigarettes And Suicide: THANK YOU! People do not understand that getting engaged at young ages isn't "rushing into marriage" I was engaged, and I'm 14, and though it didn't work out, we weren't plainng on getting married for a long time. |
| doctor. In The Murder Scene  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 23302 | Each and every couple is different- I, personally, don't believe you can generalise by saying that under 18s can't get engaged since everyone reacts differently to one another. For example, I know two sets of teenagers that have recently engaged all of the same age. One couple were considered as deluded for their idea of engagement. However, the same set of friends that had branded one couple as deluded, accepted the other couple's engagement with excitement and open arms. Just goes to show, unless you know each teenage relationship, you'll never know who an engagement so young is right for. Personally, I don't believe that marriage is something that should be taken lightly and there are a lot of people older that I would not advise marriage to, not because of the age but because the relationship does not seem ready for such a commitment. |
| Jenny. Moderator Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 19720 | Hi, We have decided to lock this thread and merge it with this one. So in the future, please post in there  Thanks Jenny |
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