Teenage marriage/engagement
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| RedRiot. Salute You in Your Grave  Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 2482 | |
| Mindfuck Always Born a Crime  Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 5614 | RedRiot.:No. Marriage and engagement are different. Engagement is when they would envision a marriage in the future, but marriage is actual... well, marriage. Getting married when you're underage. Signing those papers to make it official. I think they should be different threads because they're different discussions. |
| questionable content Always Born a Crime  Age: 28 Gender: Female Posts: 5604 | ^ But the discussions are pretty much headed the same way, and they are very closely intertwined. I think it would be better to combine them into one thread, because really, if it's engagement, it's not a legal, binding contract and it can easily be broken by just a spoken word. In my opinion, the only reason it's relavant at all is because of what it (may) lead to-- teenage marraige (which this is the thread for), not because it really has that much significance on its own. |
| Darkromance Banned  Age: - Gender: - Posts: 322 | Teenagers really shouldn't get married. We are constantly changng and liking new things and disliking new things! it would last a week if two teens got married, figuretively speaking and literally. |
| teen spirit. Crash Queen  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 30661 | i've said already in another thread that i think love can still exist for teenagers, but i don't know if its a good idea for them to get married. for one thing, because adults are older, it's far more likely that they will become engaged to someone who they have known and been with longer so they would know if a marriage would work out. also they would be more emotionally mature. |
| sorta kinda. Salute You in Your Grave  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 2838 | I think this is all up to the person, some shouldn't but people like my bestfriends twin should, she is only 15 but they are looking at places for the ceremony an reception. I think wanting to get married as a teen, you should have to prove you maturity and your love by some way that it doesn't just end up a waste and a horrible relationship. |
| John St. John Shotgun Sinner  Age: 31 Gender: Male Posts: 7145 | Death By Asylum: That would be a great idea, if that was possible. But it isn't. How on earth would you reliably prove someones maturity? |
| fabulous killjoy. Moderator  Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 46256 | Death By Asylum:What's the problem in what she's doing? I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon, but I'm thinking of how and where I want it, what my bridesmaid's will wear, what flowers i want, how big i want the reception and where, the food, the dress, and whatever other small little things in a wedding there are. A wedding is almost every girl's dream, thus they will think about it a lot. It's not like she's getting engaged and hitched right at this moment, what's she doing wrong? |
| Demolition Vampire. Killjoy  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 4 | I think it would be sort of weird. Like, If they were engaged and waited until they were 18 or in their twenties, I find it alright, but otherwise, no, it would be really weird.. |
| Go fuck yourself Devil's Got Your Number  Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 37823 | John St. John:exactly, there isn't much if any accountabilty to take someone as mature cause they claim they are to be in love, and just cause their in love now, how in the world do you know they still will be in a week even less 20 minutes? (that just came from my own experience, my boyfriend was telling me none stop how much he loved me and wanted to marry me and by with me forever then one night 20 minutes later he broke up with me, out of the blue and not for any reason) when your young, it's your time to live it up, you don't want to be tied down, just remember you think you'll have the rest of your life for that "miserable" thing called marriage. |
| Just Steph... Motor Baby  Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 909 | Personally, I think marriage itself is a waste of money because after living together for 6 months you have the same rights as marrieg couples anyway. But I suppose I may feel different if someone ever asks me. But as for teen marriage. I think it's a bad idea because they're still changing. Who you fell in love with could be a totally different person a year later. My mum married at 17 and divorced at 21, but my grandparents married as teenagers and are still together now. So it's different for everyone really. And, as someone has said before, it isn't only love that holds a marriage together. You have to consider all sorts of things that could influence it. Like how much they'll be at work, the strain of having children, financial situations. A lot of married couples can work through things like that, but a lot would rather just get a divorce. And they're never pleasent, especially if there's children involved. |
| Person0001 Always Born a Crime  Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099 | Just Steph...: Not true at all - why do you think gay couples are lobbying right now? I personally think young people have no business getting married or having children. You need to be established in life before attempting to run a household and family. |
| Just Steph... Motor Baby Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 909 | ^^ It's true for straight couples. My Mum and Step-Dad aren't married, and after they'd been living together for 6 months they got the same rights as married couples do. |
| Person0001 Always Born a Crime Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099 | Just Steph...:Uh...no it isn't. I lived with someone for 17 years and the only "right" we had resembling anything close to marriage was that we were considered "common law" as in: were we to separate, we would have to go to Family Court to obtain a custody agreement concerning Damien. So I have to ask where you live; maybe things are different there. |
| Cigarettes And Suicide Bleeding on the Floor  Age: 37 Gender: Female Posts: 1725 | Decimated Stars: But what if you don't think the concept of marriage and all that comes iwth it is 'miserable'? What if you don't see any attraction in a fake-ass 'career', blowing every cent you don't spend on rent on getting drunk every weekend and have no desire to get out and 'see the world' when you can Google everything from your living room? Different people have different ambitions. I never had any illusions about scoring a 'dream job' and climbing the corporate ranks. I figured out pretty early I was never going to be on the cover of Rolling Stone and it didn't bother me - my dream in life was to find a man I loved, who loved me, and marry him and be a good mother to his children. Not everybody sees getting married as something to avoid like the plague until they're 35. With people like that, it doesn't matter whether they get married at 18 or just live with their partner until it's 'acceptable' to marry at a later age - they're going to be together no matter what. I'll tell you something I've observed - most of my UNmarried friends are the miserable ones, not the married. The single friends I have are young, footloose and supposedly fancy-free, but the majority live at home with their parents while stuck in some dead-end job after spending years at university only to realise that their studies are going to get them nowhere. They drag their asses to work on Monday morning and on Friday afternoon they're busy wasting their paycheck on forgetting how boring and meaningless their lives are. They constantly tell me how being a housewife must be sooooo boring, but then complain about how desperate they are to meet someone nice because they're jealous of what I have. They take out personal loans in order to travel overseas or buy fancy cars or designer clothes or big TVs to impress other people, and then realise they're in debt up to their eyeballs and there's no way out. They have nobody to turn to when they're really down because all their friends are in the same boat, and don't care to take on someone else's problems when they have enough to deal with themselves. However, the friends I have who married young, seem a lot happier - they're secure in the knowledge that they've got their rock by their side no matter what, they know that life isn't always glamorous, but it can be satisfying and happy without all the fancy trimmings, and they don't consider their lives to have been 'thrown out the window' when they have kids - rather, they're starting a whole new chapter in which they have the opportunity to be appreciated, loved, cared for and respected. I'm not saying everybody should go get married and start a family when they're 16 - just saying that your concept of 'living it up' may be a vastly different idea to somebody else's, and that for a lot of people, getting married young (not while they're a minor, obviously, but in their early 20's) is the real beginning of their life, not the end. |
| Just Steph... Motor Baby Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 909 | Deb: Scotland. |
| Person0001 Always Born a Crime Age: 43 Gender: Female Posts: 5099 | Just Steph...:That would explain it  I wish we had such laws here! I just don't think it's very responsible of these kids' parents to allow them to stop their lives short like that. |
| stella spotlight! Joining The Black Parade  Age: 31 Gender: Female Posts: 224 | my best friend who is a senior in high school and 18 just got engaged. i'm happy for her, because the prospect of marriage makes her happy, but i can't help but worry. you learn so much about people when your around them all the time, and it would suck if she got tied into something that just wasn't working. being young is about being free, in my opinion. |
| Go fuck yourself Devil's Got Your Number Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 37823 | Cigarettes And Suicide: I was kidding with the "miserable" marriage thing, just based on what the common joke is where I live, I live in California which has some of the highest divorce rates in the country. Reading what you wrote really struck me, and I don't think its the best thing to be married when your 16 just cause you aren't on your own yet, but also I'd want to be married long before 35. But to me, you should get your high school diploma and be settled in a job before jumping off into married life just so you can support both of you and if you have some, kids too. I want to be a nurse which requires alot of hard study, if I had a husband while I was trying to pass my finals, which really would get all of my attention? they both would take alot out of me, so if I focus on my studies while I'm trying to make a marriage work, one of them would end up getting falled out on. If I went to school then got married once I was finished, that extra stress of schools eliminated. alot of people originally want that, where their just with someone they love, but love doesn't put bread on the table and also, by the time you make it through high school, your hearts been so messed up with probably and you've seen so much, while watching so many marriages just crumple, that simple sweet idea just seems to float away to. |
| Go fuck yourself Devil's Got Your Number Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 37823 | stella spotlight!:I have a friend whose engaged and she's almost 18, she's miserable with the prospect of being stuck with this guy forever, she thinks its liek the end of her rope. But she won't call it off. To me that just is awful |
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