| Author | Message |
|---|
SheaLeone;KJ
Motor Baby
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 987 | January 23rd, 2008 at 05:30pm
What is your perspective?
How Can it Hurt?
How Can it Help?
Can anyone who has been in this type of situation give any advice or personal experience, (to an extent)?
i searched and nothing came up :] |
DIE! DIE! DIE!
Bleeding on the Floor
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1067 | January 23rd, 2008 at 05:44pm It's a two way street. It depends on what those people want out of the benefit relationship. For example, me and my BEST GUY FRIEND EVER are friends with benefits. We are sexually attracted to eachother, so whenever we arn't in a relationship, we are pretty much all over echother, but neither of us have the intention of staying with eachother. It's nice to have someone there for you emotionally and physically when you are lonely and feel out of place, but you need to make sure that your benefit friend feeels theexact same way you do: not at all.
Otherwise things can get messy |
Go fuck yourself
Devil's Got Your Number
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 37823 | January 24th, 2008 at 12:07am with friends with benefits, its very easy for one of them to use the other one and get them to do things they don't want to do, friends with benefits in a way in almost a insurance for a doomed relationship, trust me, someone will get sick after awhile. i know fom experiance |
Radio Saturday
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 3513 | January 24th, 2008 at 10:02am I tend to refer to them as "friends with side effects," since that's how it almost always seems to work out.
Note, though, that I don't really have any friends with benefits. Well, I have one, but the "benefits" part is pretty theoretical. But we can say anything to each other.
However, I have seen some of my friends be very hurt by people who obviously only considered them (my friends) "friends with benefits."
So I guess I feel like you should just be careful and, as someone else said, make sure they feel exactly the same way. Otherwise, one or both of you will be hurt. |
HEY AMY
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 3503 | January 27th, 2008 at 10:01am i really dont think friends with benefits is right...
i think those sorts of things should be done in a relationship. |
livid_caution
Joining The Black Parade
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 176 | January 27th, 2008 at 01:55pm I think they're fine, but you both have to know exactly how you feel about eachover or someone could get hurt. |
doctor.
In The Murder Scene
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 23302 | January 27th, 2008 at 02:53pm
Both people need to know exactly what they're in it for and should remember that before they (if they do) develop feelings for the other without them being returned as, obviously, that can't end good... at all.
However, if this is taken into account, I have no problem with it. It's just something they do for fun and who is anyone else to take that away from them when it's not harming anyone.
This said, my opinion changes if one of the friends is in a relationship and still continues to use these 'benifits' because, in my eyes, it's unfair for the other person involved in the relationship and can create a lot of trust issues.
|
sparklinggrey
Jazz Hands
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 327 | January 29th, 2008 at 01:53pm livid_caution:I think they're fine, but you both have to know exactly how you feel about eachover or someone could get hurt.
i agree, but seriously, why take the risk? just dont do it. full stop. |
Switchblade Saint
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 2601 | January 30th, 2008 at 04:21am Painful Reality:
Both people need to know exactly what they're in it for and should remember that before they (if they do) develop feelings for the other without them being returned as, obviously, that can't end good... at all.
However, if this is taken into account, I have no problem with it. It's just something they do for fun and who is anyone else to take that away from them when it's not harming anyone.
This said, my opinion changes if one of the friends is in a relationship and still continues to use these 'benifits' because, in my eyes, it's unfair for the other person involved in the relationship and can create a lot of trust issues.
i think u said it all.  & the trust issue is very relevant - it's undeniable that the dymanics of the relationship do change very noticeably when the sexual element is thrown in., |
Muffin Top
Jazz Hands
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 282 | January 31st, 2008 at 04:29am Personally i don't think i could do that with another person knowing that i don't really like them in that way. I don't know but i just find it kind of pointless. You should save those things for a relationship, for someone you really care about.
But if other people don't think the same with me then whatever, people are entitled to their own opinions and beliefs. The only thing is that people should really be aware of the consequenses and/or benefits before doing it. |
gemstonefromabove
Killjoy
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 13 | January 31st, 2008 at 07:46am friends with benefits may provide benefits but only for the short term
after a while the benefits will wear off or someone will become emotionally attahced and thus theres a problem.
i think just pure friends are way better.
friends with benefits is an avenue that should not be pursued even though people do.
think before you act. if someone thught of you as a friend with beneftis but you have stronger feelings than that fror them then how would you fill.
listen to your consciene............... its there for a reason (sometimes) |
Laura Lou Carter
Killjoy
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 20 | January 31st, 2008 at 09:47am Friends With Benefits.
Can Be A Bit of a tricky situation.
first you gotta think like eveyrone else.
do they feel the same.
do they want the same thing.
cause you dont want them getting the wrong idea
there could be fall outs and things like that.
so in a way its good just to have a person to have that "friendship" with but you wont probably want that relationship with that guy/girl so its good to make sure they dont want that.
and apar tfrom that it can be pretty good.
 |
keep the faith.
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 3208 | February 3rd, 2008 at 02:22pm it's hard.
don't do it.
well.
me and my ex-best-friend were kind of friends with benefits, and uh...
now they're dating someone and I can't get over it, we're nowhere near as good friends as we used to be,
but it made me feel really good about myself because we were always flirting.
it was good while it lasted,
so if you're in it for pure fun and there's no way you'll fall for someone or get hurt,
then it's super fun. |
dee dee ramone.
Always Born a Crime
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 5369 | February 3rd, 2008 at 06:36pm I watched ithappen to my best friend, tbh.
It's great to begin with because they just hung out, made out, had sex a lot, which I know sounds slutty, but it wasn't like wham, bam, thank you ma'am, it was like, really good friends.
And then he started liking her and she started liking him and they're both too damn proud to stop arguing and just accept their couple-ness.
And then it's all falling apart now.
Ultimately, it will screw up, but if you want to, go ahead because while you're in that moment, it's good. |
fire at will.
Damned After All
Age: 35
Gender: -
Posts: 105653 | February 3rd, 2008 at 11:02pm What is your perspective?
-I think it's okay in some situations. Like, you wanna be with the person, but not in a "serious relationship." I mean, yeah, after awhile it may start to get to you. But that's why you need to get out of it before it gets to emotional or to "hard" for you to keep maintaing that type of relationship.
How Can it Hurt?
-it can hurt you both physically and emotionally, i think. because, what if you end up pregnant? or what if you got someone pregnant, but you don't care about that person? that type of situation will probably end up not with the "happy ending" since there are so many people right now who are having kids and raising them on their own. it can also hurt you emotionally, because going into it, you may have said, 'no strings attached. just pure sex. nothing more.' but what if along the way, you started developing feelings for that person, but know they don't feel the same way??
How Can it Help?
-sure, it may get rid of a 'biological itch' every few days or so. but is it really helping at all? other than for that reason? not really. you may just end up hurt in the end.
Can anyone who has been in this type of situation give any advice or personal experince, (to an extent)?
-get out of it as soon as you can. especially if you 'signed up' for a no strings attached type of thing. you can probably find someone better than that. someone who will actually care about you and support you in the long run.
And FYI whoever started this thread: It's spelled Benefits. Not Benifits. |
King Of The Jews JR
Jazz Hands
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 285 | February 4th, 2008 at 05:58pm Friends with Benifits AKA FWB's
Easily the best thing that ever happened to me. She showed me that someone out there will want me (eventually) and that some people dont mind a guy thats about as hairy as a gorilla.
But for most people it wont work, This girl was special ^_^ |
Littlemisschem
Fabulous Killjoy
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 129 | March 24th, 2008 at 09:22pm Friends with benefits... that could be tragic. It doesn't really sound like the best idea. It can hurt because it's someone that you really trust. Someone that cares for you and you do the same. You've know each other forever (or for a while) and you've been through thick and thin. If it suddenly ended between the two, then it could affect the friendship they've established. It could end the friendship. It can help because then you wouldn't have to hide as much, you can be stupid and they'll laugh with you, not think you're an idiot. |
calculated sacrifice
Shotgun Sinner
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 7807 | March 25th, 2008 at 07:13am thats... a little bit complicated. It's like something you're using to fall back on if you're relationship doesnt work or i f you just NEED it. It can hurt anyone, especially if one of them falls in love with the other. |
girl interrupted.
Salute You in Your Grave
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2792 | March 25th, 2008 at 07:24am I think it's up to the people involved to talk things through before anything starts.
And if you think you shouldn't have friends with benefits because you might develop
feelings for that person and they may not develop them back - well to me, that could be
said for any relationship, so it's like saying that you should recluse in your bedroom
not talking to anyone. I know not everyone will agree but that's what I think.
(:
|
I'm Not Okay90
Fabulous Killjoy
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 154 | March 25th, 2008 at 07:11pm Been there,done that. lol. Anyways it's retarded and it's totally not worth it, it never works out. I would never try it. Things just get awkward...  |
