Parents

1) Fathers- are they really that necessary?
Yes they are. I have always been closer to my dad than my mom, if my dad wasn't here I would simply go insane.

2) When is it appropriate to have strong negative feelings toward your parents or parent, or just out and out hate them.

I believe you can have a strong dislike toward your parents if they did something wrong terribly wrong say they raped you, I would definately hate them then, or if you tried to help them alot by trying to get them into the therapy but then they did something like sell your stuff you might hate them, or they sell you and then you definately will hate them. But it has to be something major and major is not meaning "They sold my My Chemical Romance cd's I am so mad at them, but it doesnt matter cause I get my allowence next week and I am gonna start buying them back."

i think you have a father in your life,that its good. But my parents died when i was a baby(i was born in russia)and then i got adopted my mom.and shes single and shes still is.and shes been able to raise me and my sister just fine.she acts like the father and mother in a family. she builds things and sew's. sometimes i wish i had a dad but most of the time im glad it just me ,my sister and mom. sometimes i dont think mother get enought credit.

2) when to hate parents?

when they're fucking ignoring the shit out of you, in favour of another child, just so that they hope the family can go along. which is fucking impossible due to their fucking ignorance.

when you are the victim, the abused one. and they ignore that.

My dad died when I was 6, My mom had to bring up me and my autistic brother. She hasn't been on a night out with her friends for months. I'm always like "Go out and have fun mom!" and she wont! I feel so bad sometimes, because I always go out with my friends..
I think people are incredibly lucky to have both parents, especially together. But I do agree with I HATE CHOO and shuanghong, if your parents arent treating you how they should, you have the right to dislike them, even hate them. :/

fathers - My father kinda got kicked out when I was about 3, but he came and took me out till I was about 6, when I lost contact till I was 13 (16now). My mom got a new man when I was about 41/2, whom she married when I was 7. She then divorced him when I was 14. I don't know what affect not having a father in earlyish development had, other than on my accent (he is scottish, my mom english, and I was at an american elementary). It is very porous, and I pick up new ones easily. That wasn't exactly detrimental.

My stepfather, made sure I knew I wasn't his. He treated me very differently to how he treated my brother, and because of that, I try to impress everyone I meet, and try to make everyone happy, because growing up, that was the only way I could be happy.

I don't think they are necessary, just as I don't think mothers are necessary; there are plenty of single parent households, and their kids are fine, normal kids. I think as long as the remaining parent can make the kid feel loved enough, it is fine. Spoiling a kid because they don't have father/mother, is bad, cause you just end up with a spoilt kid that can't deal with the real world.


when can you hate your parents? - You can hate your parents at any point, cause that it what kids do. Permanently hate them, when they do something unforgivable. When they walk out on you and the rest of your family, when they treat you like an animal, when they act in a way that would make you hate them, even if they weren't your parents.

Okay me and a friend of mine were having a serious discussion about two different topics concerning parents and I was wondering if other people had opinions about this.

1) Fathers- are they really that necessary? Well, it depends on the person. Some people might be really close to their Dad and not their Mom so in that case they would be necessary. I myself have spent a good while without my father. I don't miss him at all, and I don't think he needed to be here because when he was he just treated me like a piece of shit. I'm healthy now, but half the things that used to be wrong with me were because of him.. :/ I don't think that everyone needs 2 parents. But it depends on the parent you're left with.. So, in short, they're necessary to some people, not all.

2) When is it appropriate to have strong negative feelings toward your parents or parent, or just out and out hate them.
You can have strong negative feelings towards your parents, it's only natural and human. For example, if they don't let you out with your friends or they take somthing away from you etc. But it's not right to hate your parents unless they've done something terrible, like abuse you or something really bad like that. I hate my dad, because he hit me, verbally insulted me all the time, and took my most treasured possessions and destroyed them, and I can't forgive him for all that.

1) Fathers - I think a fatherly influence is important in any child's life. Even if you do not have a father, you will find someone who fills that role in your life to look up to.

I think it may not be completely necessary for your existence, but for a girl, if you have a good father, then it is comforting to know that there is one man in your life that loves you unconditionally.

Of course this is only if the father/father figure is a good person.

1) Fathers - I don't think it's necessary to have a father or a mother. My parents divorced when I was very young and I rarely saw my father from the age of 6 onwards (although I still visited my relations on his side of the family). As long as they're a good parent, I don't see why having a specific gender role is an issue.

2) As strange as it sounds, I'm a supporter of hatred. Not general hatred like racism, but on a personal level. They don't even have to have done something to make you hate them, I think some people are just immediately detestable. So if someone has given you reason to hate them personally I don't believe any sort of relationship should get in the way.

Shiny!:

1) Fathers - I don't think it's necessary to have a father or a mother. My parents divorced when I was very young and I rarely saw my father from the age of 6 onwards (although I still visited my relations on his side of the family). As long as they're a good parent, I don't see why having a specific gender role is an issue.

Do you have a father figure in your life though?
I don't think it's a matter of biological parents or a gender role, (it doesn't have to be a stereotypical man) but just that you have a male role model that can help you in life.

Eponine:

1) Fathers - I think a fatherly influence is important in any child's life. Even if you do not have a father, you will find some man in your life to look up to. Everyone needs a male role model. It's also just as important for a girl to have a father or father figure in their life. If they have a good one, then they will always know that at least one man loves them unconditionally. Obviously a boy needs a father or father figure as well, so that he can see what a good man is and does.

Of course this is only if the father/father figure is a good man.

I disagree. I have no father figure in my life, and I'm perfectly happy.

Are you saying that gay couples might have damaged children, providing that the gay couple are lesbians? I think a lesbian couple could raise a child just as well as a straight couple, male figure or no.

Hellmigz:

I suppose its fine for a young kid to be raised solely by his mother but i think Snoop Dogg said it best when he said " A woman cant teach a boy to be a man" , and i feel that hes hit the spot.

Sorry if i sound like a chauvinist

Yeah, that actually is pretty chauvinist. My brother has been raised his whole life without a father, just me and my mum. And I wouldn't say he's any less of a man. On the other hand, my cousin has lived with his father his whole life and he's considered very "unmanly" - mostly because he's gay and wishes to change sexes.

So I don't think you need a father to be a man.

From the sound of all the posts in the last 3 pages, everyone has assumed that having a boy who turns out to effeminate is somehow wrong. They're assuming that just having a father figure is going to turn every child into the all-american boy. Is there anyone else who disagrees with this, like me, or am I totally alone here?

I myself see no problem with a boy playing with dolls or wearing nail polish, etc etc. Just because the parent in his life isn't a male, doesn't mean he's lacking in something or testosterone. Sure, he may not be exposed to the male world as much as his peers, but did you ever consider he may not want to be? He's been raised a certain way, and now his life is how it is. I mean, you're asking for this boy to change how he's lived his entire life to satisfy your image of the average eight year old boy. Think about it. Maybe he actually likes being the person he is. Unlike you, he's probably comfortable with himself.

Cigarettes And Suicide:

I just feel that children, whether they're boys or girls, should have a positive male and female role model in their life.

Again, so what happens when both of the parents are either both men or both women? Is the child being done a disservice?

Eponine:

Do you have a father figure in your life though?
I don't think it's a matter of biological parents or a gender role, (it doesn't have to be a stereotypical man) but just that you have a male role model that can help you in life.

Not really. My mum had a couple of boyfriends whom I largely ignored and refered to as 'mum's boyfriend' and my primary school had no male teachers. No one occupied a father role for me and I've never felt it was an issue.

So there isn't any man that you look up too?
On second thought, I supposed a mother can be both a mother figure and a father figure at the same time.

Faye Merci:

I'm not saying that gay couples have damaged their children. One of the parents may fit the 'father figure' role in their life and not be a male.
Having a male influence in a child's life doesn't automatically make them a boy's boy. A person can have any type of male role model, not just a manly man.

There are men I look up to, but not any I know personally. It's pretty hard for someone not to have role models, but that's not the same as a father figure. Still my mum used to be a punk which is something that worries me to this day.

True, it may not be a father figure, but a person can say, "look at that man, that's the kind of man I want to be", they could be referring to any kind of man as well. The opposite goes for girls.

On a side note, why does it worry you? Just curious.

Because she spent her adolescence with a skinhead and kicking the crap out of guys with steel toe-caps. She's the sort of parent a teenager can't rebel against without actually goin out and stabbing someone.